The Hours Before the Dawn
by oursolemnhour49
Summary: Anna has lived her life in the Asgard Ranch, steadily losing hope. Kratos Aurion has finally broken ties with his mad lord and descended to Sylvarant. This is an in-depth telling of their meeting, their love, and their brief life together. COMPLETE.
1. The Human Ranch

Anna rubbed her eyes. She was lying on a grey cot, which occupied almost the entire cell. The walls were the same dull black substance to which she had woken for almost thirteen years. She sighed. Another cursed day in her wretched existence. Why, why, _why _had she ever been born?

Most of her memories consisted of the small cell and the courtyard bars of the human ranch. But she could also remember gleaming sunlight, laughter, crowds of people dancing in …

Anna shook off the memories and looked upwards. "Oh, goddess," she whispered. "If you pity me at all, give me strength to live another day as fully as I can."

The door of her cell burst open. Without a word, a Desian guard entered. In a trice he was marching her through the door and out into the passage.

She smiled faintly. Today was another day for special meals. Every week she was fed meals that were more nutritious than what was normally given to captives. Anna knew that they were not doing this out of kindness, nor even as a reward for good behavior. She had watched people be called away suddenly, and later be disposed of as "failed experiments" or "used specimens". She had no idea why the Desians were giving her special nourishment, but she was certain that her well-being was not their object.

The guard led her to the laboratory rooms of the ranch. The walls were spotless, and the artificial lights lent a dream-like quality to the halls through which she now walked. The guard led her to a small square room. He had not spoken a word to her throughout the entire walk.

Three Desians, all in white uniforms, were standing inside. A square table, made of gleaming white metal, stood in the center. The Desians stood behind it. A steel plate was on the table, containing eggs, fruit, and a roll. But Anna could not eat the food, not yet. One of the Desians led her to a scale. She stepped onto it, in the manner of a trained dog. Her weight was recorded on a white notepad that was attached to the wall.

The Desian who had measured her weight stepped back in line with the others. The middle Desian stepped forward and measured her heart rate by placing a piece of metal attached to a tube over her heart. Like the first, he recorded the results on the pad, and stepped back into line. The third stepped forward, and turned her face toward the white light that hung above the table. He turned her face to the left and right, then released her and wrote on the pad.

Her guard shoved her toward the table without a word.

Eating was the worst part of the routine. From the first day they had begun these weekly sessions, several years ago, she always had to eat with her fingers, and with the three observers and her guard watching her. She felt as though they had absolute power over her. Their silent observation was more daunting than any threats or physical torture could have been.

As she ate she noticed the roll. It was a golden brown, and smelt wonderful. She remembered how yesterday Ian had spoken longingly for fresh bread. Rolling a grape between her fingers, she tried to think about how she could distract her tormentors so she could palm the roll. Mentally she reviewed every detail of the room. Her gaze settled on the notepad. She could only read the top heading, "AO12" and that was because that was all the Desians ever called her.

"Your records are wrong," she stated loudly and clearly. Her words rang a little in the room. All the Desians jumped. Ever since they began their observations they had never said a word, either to her or to each other. She had never so much as raised her eyes to them, much less opened her mouth to insult them.

"What did you say, AO12?" asked the Desian who had examined her face. She despised him the most. She could not help seeing his face when he examined her, which was one of the things she hated most about the meals. He had horrible slanting eyes and a terrifying slow smile, which he employed now as he gazed at her.

She stared right back. "You have a mistake on your record sheet. Look."

For one quick second, all the observers turned their heads to the notepad. As they turned, she grabbed the roll and folded her arms. All the guards stared at her. She waited, trying to control her trembling.

"Well?" asked the slant-eyed Desian.

All her self-control was required to not gasp with relief. They had not seen her. "My name," she answered sharply. "My name is Anna. Not 'AO12'. Anna."

All the Desians stared at her, but their faces were confused rather than observant. Then the slant-eyed one said thoughtfully, "Take experiment AO12 out. We have completed all necessary observations."

Her guard seized her left arm. For one moment she was certain that she would drop the roll, which her left arm was concealing. Luckily she kept hold of it. She paid little attention to the twists and turns that led to the courtyard; she knew the way by heart, and she was giddy with her success in stealing the roll. She smiled to herself as she imagined Ian's reaction.

The guard opened a steel door in one of the black walls and shoved her through. The light made her blink. A gnarled hand touched her arm. "Anna! Are you all right? What happened this morning?"

Anna smiled. "Nothing, Ian. It was just another special meal. A real breakfast, not the gruel they normally serve everyone else. Since such things are an occasion of sorts, I brought you a souvenir." She handed him the roll with mock ceremony. "I don't know how it will compare to the bread you spoke of, but you will be the best judge."

Ian's lined face looked frightened. "You should not take such a risk for me, Anna. I am sure if the Desians caught you they would punish you."

"Well then, hadn't you better eat it quickly and save me from my peril?" She grinned as Ian devoured the roll. After he had finished, the two strolled to the edge of the courtyard.

Ian was a cringing, timid old man who had no hope left in life. He was almost unable to smile, and was forever complaining. He had been in the human ranch his entire life, and he knew nothing of the outside world, except what those who had been brought in could tell. He had taken care of Anna from the first day she was brought to the ranch, and in return she had tried to make him happy. At thirteen she had tried to devise means of escape. This caused everyone else in the ranch to shun her. They were convinced that she was a danger. At fourteen she lost hope for escape, and at fifteen she ardently wished to die. Now, at the age of nineteen, she had begun to accept and cheerfully make the most of each day. Ian had stuck with her, talking with her often. At times she wished that he would spare her his never-ending stream of misery. But she could not bring herself to hurt the feelings of the wretched man, especially since no captive ever spoke to another in the ranch.

Anna and Ian stood looking out the north bars of the courtyard. The view outside was what caused captives most torment. Surrounding the Asgard Human Ranch was a beautiful forest in which deer, birds, flowers, and the seasons could be seen. The tantalizing beauty was within five feet of the prisoners, but utterly impossible for them to enjoy. Indeed, the sight of the forest did more than anything else to break the spirit of the captives.

Anna kicked loosely at a clump of dirt near the base of the wall. "You don't suppose we could dig out, do you, Ian?" she asked.

Ian stared, but answered her straightforwardly: "Child, I doubt it. I know the floor of the courtyard is dirt, but we have no way of knowing how deep the foundation of the wall is, and we could not possibly dig long enough without the Desians noticing. I know they only inspect the courtyard once a week, but that is not long enough to dig an escape tunnel with just our hands."

Anna nodded. Turning away from Ian, she gazed out between the bars. The woods surrounding the Asgard Human Ranch were speckled with sunlight. Birds were singing. Every leaf and flower seemed so vivid in comparison with the drab captives in the ranch that Anna wondered how humans dared to consider themselves worthy of actually moving freely in such beauty.

"Anna." Ian's voice called her back sadly. "Give up hope, Anna. Only a miracle could get you out of here, into those woods, to enjoy the freedom you desire so earnestly. And miracles- they do not happen to the likes of us, Anna. They happen to true humans, who have forged their own life, and lived fully according to their nature. Humans were not meant to live the way we do. How can you describe our situation as living? We are warped, twisted, broken."

Anna twisted away from the woods, and sat down with her back to the wall. Ian slowly bent to her level. "Anna, I do not mean to upset you so. But if you continue to hope, you will be the more sorrowful when you are forced to confront your shattered dreams."

For a long time Anna was silent, wavering between frustration and pity. Finally she whispered, thinking even as she spoke: "Ian, you have just eaten a roll, reasonably hot and still fresh. Yet just yesterday you were telling how it was too bad that you would never taste fresh bread again in your life. What is impossible may change. I still hope for miracles. I believe that they do happen. I also believe that you need to smile and laugh, even in your miserable state. How can you call us broken? Are you truly broken? You, for instance, are my friend; you join me here every day, when all regulations expressly prohibit prisoners from so much as speaking. That act of defiance, no matter how small, is not the act of a broken man." Now she was smiling at him.

Amazingly, Ian smiled back, his face resembling a trampled piece of cloth. Suddenly footsteps sounded outside the door leading to the courtyard. He looked up, frightened, and shuffled away from Anna as quickly as he could. The courtyard door creaked. Rogban and another Desian guard stepped in. "Experiment AO12!"

Without looking at Ian, she got up and walked forward. All she could think of was Ian. Why did she have to be taken away from him now, just when she had been able to get him to smile?

Anna paid so little attention that she walked straight into the Desian who had fetched her. He ignored her and raised his hand to a door. Before he could knock, it opened, and there stood the slant-eyed Desian who had observed her earlier. He nodded. "Good. I will take Experiment AO12. Wait here. You will be needed later."

He closed the door in the face of the two guards. Without glancing at Anna, he led her through a long passage. The walls, the floor, even the air gave off a aura of sterilization. The dead white of the hall was terrifying. She was sure that she was going to die, and she was certain that she was not the first person to walk to death down this passage. At the end of the passageway was a silver door with a window in the very center. A bright light shone through that window. She fought down her panic. In this room she was about to become an "experiment".

The Desian pushed open the door. From the left and the right came four guards, two on each side. They were dressed in white, like the observers at her breakfast. Mechanically they divested her of the filthy sackcloth garment she had worn for the past year or so. The same hands then scrubbed, rinsed and dried her. The process was so rapid that she did not have time to cringe from the Desians' touch. Even in the midst of her rising terror she felt a joy at being so clean. It had been almost two years since she had had a full wash.

Now two Desians took her arms and led her to a flat board that stood in the center of the room. It was the same shade of silver as the door, but clearly made of different material. There were four metal loops in the otherwise smooth stucture, two in the middle, and two near the bottom. With mounting horror she realized that these loops were latches for securing her feet and hands.

All her instincts wanted to scream and make a dash for freedom. Then she saw the slant-eyed monster standing beside the slab, watching her. Anna knew he was expecting her to panic. She met his gaze and forced herself to move steadily toward the slab.

She was fastened to the metal. She shut her eyes, not so much from fear as much as in an effort to maintain her composure. If she lost concentration for one second she was certain that she would go out of her mind. The situation was far worse than anything she had ever encountered in the hell that was her life. She was almost relieved when a searing pain in her chest caused her to faint.

She awoke in a cell she had never seen. A huge window was in the wall next to her head. A silver light shone through it. Gradually she realized that she was lying on a cot, with blankets under her. She could tell that she was clad in her old sackcloth. Never in her life had she felt such agony. The bones of her chest felt as though they had been split, then somehow brought back into place. She also felt a strangeness in her body, a pulse that had not been there before.

Trembling, she sat up and shifted her legs over the side of the cot. A strange feeling rushed through her body, and for a moment she felt capable of incredible power. She tried to stand. Her ribs felt as though they were splintering, and she fell on her hands and knees. Dizzy from pain, she stared at the floor.

That was when she noticed that there was a shadow in the light. And she could sense a presence behind her that simply had not been there seconds ago. The pains in her chest would not let her change her position, so she carefully turned her head. What she saw almost made her scream. A man was kneeling very close behind her. Even from that position he looked tall. His hair was dark in the light, and partially obscured his face. But when Anna met his eyes she could look at nothing else. Their fierce glow lent his face an arresting quality which was neither human nor Desian.


	2. An Unexpected Meeting

Kratos closed the door behind him and strode into the hall. His meeting with Mithos had not erupted in a battle, which was what he had been half-expecting. Mithos had simply dismissed him, saying: "You never could see fully, my friend. Bringing the worlds together- how could that not entail, if not justify, some suffering? When the worlds are re-united, the goodness that will follow will outweigh the evil."

Kratos had not responded. Mithos had apparently taken his silence as a sign of agreement, and had dismissed him without anger. Now Kratos stood still outside Mithos' chamber. One door separated him from the being by whose side he had fought, and with whom he had gained power unimaginable.

But now forty centuries had passed since they had taken the power of the angels. Mithos' plan for reuniting the worlds was causing more suffering than any beings had yet endured. Lately Kratos had heard Mithos talk directly to Martel, even though she had died before her brother's transformation. Mithos had become obsessed with reawakening her. Though Kratos still felt that Mithos was capable of re-uniting Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, he knew that the untold agony generated by his plan was wrong. He could not stand by and watch any longer. He knew he was capable of causing great damage to Mithos' plans. And yet-could he cut himself off from the side of the friend with whom he had spent thousands of years?

For a while longer he stood in the hallway. But he knew, even before he turned away from Mithos' chamber, that he would go down to earth and attempt to put an end to the production of exspheres. And after that? Whatever the future contained it, it could not be worse than the present.

He decided to go to Sylvarant rather than Tethe'alla. Both the worlds were suffering from exsphere production, but Sylvarant was growing far worse daily. In Sylvarant, there were many human ranches in which countless lives were lost to exsphere experiments. Desians used the exspheres to dominate the land and take new captives to kill. Tethe'alla, though in need of help, was not nearly as ravaged by the Desians as Sylvarant. Without doubt, that world was suffering the most from Mithos' reign.

When Kratos came through the clouds, he was astonished. He had not been on the earth in many centuries; he had instead kept track of both worlds from the skies. For a place filled with so much suffering, Sylvarant was beautiful. The night sky, though illusion, was glorious, a rich blue-black speckled with stars. Below him was a vast forest that extended for miles, with small lights speckled here and there within it. The trees appeared huge even from above. When the wind moved through their leaves, the night became animated.

All the beauty of the forest was driven from his mind when he saw a human ranch. It was a monstrosity of black rectangular buildings, with a massive ungainly gate that had two fans of stone branching out each side. They resembled open claws encircling the road. It had been years since he had set eyes on it, but he knew from the location that this was the Asgard human ranch.

He avoided the front gate and landed in the forest some yards to the left of the ranch. With his eyesight, he could easily see it though the trees, though an unsuspecting human might easily blunder upon the building and be slaughtered for their mistake. Now to plan his first move. He thought about creeping into the ranch and killing the Desians who ran it. But that plan was risky. He had no idea how many Desians were stationed at the place. Though the Desians were no match for his combat skills, enough of them could stall him long for them to summon Mithos. Kratos knew that in battle with Mithos he had no guarantee of victory, and if Mithos were to summon angelic assistance he would surely be defeated.

He had a sudden despairing impulse to simply go back. Mithos' sweet words stole into his memory. It would be so easy to return to Derris Kharlan, give up this madness, and trust Mithos as he had in the past...

As he hesitated, he heard a clang within the human ranch. It sounded quite close, and clearly was not the gate. He walked through the trees until he could see the wall of the ranch. Directly in front of him was a window. It was rather large for a cell window, but he could see that the room was indeed a cell. The door was directly opposite the window. Kratos could hear two guards walking away from the door, though he could not catch their voices. They must have just left the room.

He went cautiously up to the window. By leaning to his left a little, he could see a cot against the wall. On it lay a prisoner, clearly unconscious. The position of the cot left the bed and prisoner in shadow.

As he watched, the body began to move. Slowly, as though each motion was painful, the prisoner sat on the edge of the bed. The person sat still for a short time, than suddenly sprang up. As soon as the figure stood it crashed forward on hands and knees. Kratos could hear the human breathe slowly and shallowly, as though each breath was a torment. He quickly put his hand on the window and whispered an incantation that would allow him to pass through the metal. Once in the cell, he knelt down, intending to help the prisoner.

All his movements had been made in complete silence. The prisoner did not notice him right away, but suddenly the small shoulders stiffened. Slowly the head turned towards him, revealing the prisoner to be a young woman. Kratos was afraid that she would scream or cry out, but she did not. Her eyes met his and did not turn away.

They stared at one another. Kratos noted her large brown eyes, her shoulder-length hair, and her face. Her eyes were not sunken, as he had expected from a prisoner. Her face, though pale, was not gaunt. Her body, though slender, did not appear malnourished. But her fingers were twitching, and her face was tensed, as though she were enduring great pain.

Kratos had been intending to ask her about the human ranch, how many Desians were stationed here, what weapons they had, how many guards were positioned. Looking into her face, however, had rendered him mute. He had no idea how to explain himself to this woman, and he was sure he could not do so without her becoming convinced that he was an enemy. Finally he asked: "What has happened to you?"

She slowly shifted her body so that she could face him. "The Desians did something to me," she replied. Even speaking those few words seemed to hurt her; she grimaced, and continued, "I can't remember very much of the procedure. They took me to a room, stripped me, and fastened me to some kind of metal board. They focused a beam of light that seemed to split my chest. I fainted soon after, and woke in here."

Kratos nodded. He could guess what they had done to her. The Asgard human ranch was trying to manufacture an exsphere that had greater power than any of those previously produced. The ranch had been asking for a supply of Cruxis crystals, saying that if they could place a crystal inside a subject and equip them with an exsphere, the exsphere itself would form a more powerful crystal because of the increased power within the subject's system. But their reports revealed that all the ranch's efforts to implant a Cruxis crystal inside a human had either killed the subject or transformed the person into a monster, which then had to be destroyed. This girl, then, must be the first "experiment" to make it out of the operating room.

She gasped and her right arm, on which she was partially leaning, buckled. Kratos looked at her sharply. "Can you come into the light?" he asked.

She nodded and slowly eased herself forward into the moonlight. She had said that the Desians had seemed to split her chest. Reaching out, he put his hand on her collarbone. "Tell me if I hurt you," he murmured.

Directly below her collarbone, he felt a small difference in her skin. She had been mended by magic, but he could tell that she had been cut open. He sighed and removed his hand.

She looked up at him. "What did you find?" she asked. "Do you know what they did?"

"I believe they implanted a Cruxis crystal in your body. They have a theory that a Cruxis crystal within a human will make an exsphere nourished by that human more powerful. Is there an exsphere on your body now?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not that I'm aware…wait." She put her hand to her chest, feeling gingerly up and down. Her hand stopped directly above her heart and her eyes widened. "There's something…" Her fingers gripped her dress, trying to pry off something on her skin.

"Don't!" Kratos grabbed her hand, and forced her fingers free. "Don't take it off. If you do, you will transform into a monster, and kill everyone around you until someone kills you. Whatever happens, you must never take it off."

Her fingers relaxed, and he let her go. She looked at him, started to speak, and then stopped. Kratos said nothing. Finally she asked, "The exsphere-and the crystal you spoke off- are they why I feel so- are they why I am in so much pain?"

He shrugged. "The exsphere will cause sickness to humans if not equipped with a key crest. The Cruxis crystal generally does not cause pain, but it can sometimes take away a person's ability to feel, communicate, and eventually perceive his or her surroundings. But I think your suffering comes from the fact that the Desians are not masters of healing. The exsphere looks as though it is over your heart, which makes me believe that the Desians opened your chest, planted the crystal in your heart, then mended your ribs and attached the exsphere over the crystal. Till now, I do not believe anyone has even survived the procedure the Desians performed on you."

Her smile lent her face an unexpected charm. "Really? I suppose that's an achievement- though I would be much happier without such an accomplishment. But now, can I ask you- how do you know so much about what the Desians have been trying to do- and how did you come here? I'm still a little hazy from the pain, but I'm sure you did not come in by the door. You appeared by the window, which cannot be opened, and which is still intact. And you appeared without a sound. Who are you?"

This was the question Kratos had been waiting for, and of all the ones she could have asked, it was the one he did not know how to answer. Under normal circumstances, he would have lied, but for some reason obscure to him, he did not want to lie to her.

"My name is Kratos Aurion," he answered after a long silence. He said no more, and gazed at the floor between them. After a while, he continued, "I know that you want answers to the points you raised. But I cannot give them to you. I want to help you get out of here, but after that, I have a task I must see to, and I cannot risk giving you more information about myself, without endangering this mission of mine. It is not that I do not trust you, rather that I will become a wanted man very soon, and it would be dangerous for you and me, for that matter, to know much about me."

There was a short pause. Then the girl inclined her head, and answered, "Well, I suppose a name for a name is fair exchange. I'm Anna, also known as AO12 in the records of this place. I have no deadly purpose like you, just a desperate hope to somehow escape this ranch, with Ian, an old sad wretch who has known nothing but the black walls of this place. I want to get him out, somehow."

Kratos straightened up. "If you allow me, I'll heal your bones, and take you wherever you want to go. But only a miracle would allow you to escape with your friend. He would slow us down, and we will need speed." He reached out to put his hand on her ribs. But she reached up with her left hand, wincing, and lowered his arm.

"No," she whispered. "Ian-I suppose I can call him my friend. I cannot leave him here. It just- feels wrong."

It was all Kratos could do not to smash the bars of the cell in frustration. "Anna, if you want to be free, you have no choice but to leave Ian." She lowered her head.

There was a very long silence. Finally the girl broke it. "You should probably go," she said, raising her head to look at him, "You will only be in danger if you stay here. I am truly thankful for your offer to help me, and I wish you luck in whatever you must accomplish." She stopped and smiled warmly at him. "You have given me hope," she said quietly. "And I truly would love to get out of here, but if you don't want Ian because he'll slow us down, then you should probably know that as I am I would slow you even more he would. So it's probably better that I stay, if you want mobility."

Kratos was surprised by her speech, but he did not want to leave her behind. "If I heal what has been broken, you could travel. Even if you do not wish to go, will you allow me to mend you anyway? I can spare you a great deal of pain." He placed his hand lightly on her chest.

She nodded. "This will hurt very much, but it won't last for long," he warned her. She nodded again, and he whispered an incantation to heal everything damaged by the ordeal she had endured. He felt her writhe under his touch from the sudden spike in pain, but she never made a sound.

When the spell was done they both stood. He wondered if she would change her mind, but she did not say anything. Just then the door opened, revealing two astonished white-uniformed Desians, notepads in hand, come to record observations on the outcome of their experiment with subject AO12.


	3. Revelations

All four beings stood frozen. They will kill him, thought Anna. They will kill him, or torture him to find out what he is doing here. Why doesn't he go out the same way he came? Why didn't he go earlier?

Then one of the Desians reached forward to try to shut the door.

Kratos flung Anna aside. He grabbed the arm of the Desian who had tried to shut the door and threw him inside the cell. Without pausing he struck the other Desian in the neck. Anna heard a faint crack. The Desian slid down in a heap. Kratos did not even spare him a glance. He leapt on top of the other Desian, who had been trying to get up. With one quick motion, he wrung his neck.

He straightened up. Anna could not meet his eyes. She was horrified that the man who had been so gentle to her could kill at a moment's notice. Much as she despised the Desians for what they had done to her and everyone she knew, the looks of horror on their faces had been almost pitiable.

Her hands shook. "Why did you need to kill them?" she cried. She stared at their faces. They were two of the three who had watched her eat breakfast that morning. But the slant-eyed Desian was not there.

"They know me," Kratos answered.

She stared at him. "How can they know you?"

To her astonishment, he looked down, as though ashamed. Then he raised his head and said quietly, "I once commanded them."

Dumbstruck, she backed against the wall. She knew that every passing second increased their danger, but she could not think clearly. "Why have you come here?" she demanded. "Are you trying to use me for your own ends? Why did you help me?" Her voice trembled.

He glanced at her, then at the door. "Anna, I cannot stay here much longer. If you wish to come with me, I promise you I will tell you about myself, and why I came."

"If? I can decide not to go with you?"

He nodded. "I highly doubt the Desians knew how their experiment on you would affect you. If you chose to allow them to find you with these-" he gestured to the bodies, "I have no doubt they would believe that you had killed them. They would believe it to be the result of the increased power within your body. And if you fear that they would punish you, I believe that they value your life more than the lives of two of their own, now that the experiment with you seems to have been successful."

Anna rubbed her arms. She was sure that sooner or later the Desians would kill her, if she remained in the human ranch. All her life she had wanted to escape. But could she trust that this stranger would not turn on her? He himself had said that he had once commanded the Desians.

"Anna…" Kratos' voice broke in on her thoughts.

"I'll come," she answered.

He took her hand and led her out of the room. They went down the hallway. Anna could almost hear her heart pounding against her newly mended ribs. She was already beginning to regret her decision. If he was going to help her escape, why had he not taken her out by the same mysterious way he had come? Why was he taking her into the ranch?

They turned the corner at the end of the hallway. There were several other doors. They were all open, showing empty cells like the one they had just left. At the end of this hallway was another corner. At first glance this hall, which had no doors, appeared to be a dead end. As Kratos led her closer, however, Anna could see that there were actually two doorways, one on each side of the hall. The doors faced each other.

Kratos opened the door on the right side of the hall. The passageway behind it was dark. It was not like the sanitized hallways she had seen elsewhere in the ranch. Something about the air made the place feel more like a tunnel.

"There are stairs here." Kratos' voice made her jump. She was glad he had warned her. The floor seemed to drop away, and only Kratos' hand kept her from stumbling. The flight of stairs seemed endless. When they reached the bottom, she felt the air change. The darkness thinned. She could just discern an ascending flight of stairs a few feet ahead of them. But the top seemed to be blocked.

"Is this a dead end?" she asked.

Kratos did not answer. He let go of her hand and walked up into the darkness. Then his footsteps stopped. She heard a rumbling, a gasp of breath through clenched teeth. The darkness that had been at the top of the stairs moved away, and she could see stars through the silhouettes of treetops. Her heart seemed to stop beating altogether. Tonight she was going to see the night sky for the first time.

She raced to the top of the stairs. Kratos put a finger to his lips, and pointed behind them. She turned around. Only a few hundred yards away was the human ranch. Trees and bushes were between them and the ranch, but Anna still felt that they were far too exposed. She glanced around for cover. To her left, just beside Kratos was an enormous rock, a rock that no two Desians could possibly lift.

She had had so many shocks that night that she did not make much of the fact that somehow Kratos had single-handedly moved this boulder. Instead she simply looked at the boulder and glanced at him. She moved out of the way so he moved the stone back into place. He sat down behind it and gestured to her to sit beside him. She did so.

The stars immediately caught her eyes. They were so much more beautiful than anything she could have imagined, even in her wildest dreams. Thin white gleaming sparkles filled a beautiful dark blue background. The tops of the trees did not disrupt the sky; rather they complemented it. A bright round circle cut through the sky. She knew, from some faint childhood memory, that this was the moon, Tethe'alla. It produced the silver light that pervaded everything. A wind swept through the trees and ruffled her hair.

Anna could not remember the last time the wind had touched her face. The courtyard of the ranch had been designed to keep captives from feeling the elements directly. She had not felt rain, snow, or sunshine in almost thirteen years. Now she was immersed in the nature she had longed to experience. She had always thought that she would want to run and leap through the woods. But now she felt content to sit in the woods, dwarfed by the majesty of the trees. Compared to the glory of the forest, even the human ranch seemed meaningless.

A light touch on her shoulder brought her out of her reverie. "We need to go farther away from here." Kratos' voice was barely audible. He rose and extended his hand. She took it and stood, fully aware for the first time how much taller he was than her. Her head barely came to his shoulder. She remembered how easily he had disposed of the Desians.

After they had walked deeper into the forest, they came to a small circle of grass. Kratos turned to face her. She let of his hand, and rubbed her arms. After a short pause she asked, just as she had in her cell, "Who are you?"

His eyes met hers, unwavering. "I told you that I once commanded the Desians. Though that statement is true, it is…simplified. It would be truer to say that I am part of the power that the Desians serve. I am…was a close comrade of Lord Yggdrasill. Have you ever heard the Desians mention him?"

Anna shook her head. "They never speak directly to their captives, if they can help it. I never knew that they were taking orders from a higher authority."

"It is upon Yggdrasill's orders that they produce exspheres at the cost of countless lives. What you may not know, however, is that Yggdrasill is the same person as the hero of your legends, Mithos."

Anna gasped. "What! How can that possibly be? Mithos died- I don't completely remember why, I was only six when the Desians took me- but I do remember festivals and things in his honor, because he died a hero!"

Kratos shook his head. "Anna, he did not die. Mithos lost his sister, Martel, who he loved more than anyone else. He-and his friends- transformed into angels four thousand years ago. He and his friends became angels in the hopes of bringing about her dream. She wanted a better, more peaceful world, and he promised that he would bring this about. Mithos and his friends formed Cruxis, a sort of coalition of the angels, and Mithos was chosen as the leader But he has grown more and more twisted as the years have gone by. He is trying to make humans, half-elves, and elves creatures of one kind, by means of exspheres, despite the fact that the exspheres have caused, and are still causing, unimaginable suffering. Hundreds of thousands have lost their lives, and still more have suffered from the loss of loved ones, because of the Desians' research on exspheres. But the Desians themselves, horrible as they are, are following orders from Mithos."

Anna's head was spinning. Mithos the hero, actually a twisted tyrant? Trying to make creatures of one kind-by means of _exspheres_? "Wait," she said. "Martel, Mithos' sister, is that the goddess Martel? How can that be if she died?"

"He turned her name into a method for making sure that he can obtain enough mana for his research into exspheres. Have you heard of the journey of Regeneration?"

Anna shrugged. "I know the phrase, but I know little about it."

Kratos nodded. "That journey is nothing more than a tool of Mithos'. One person, a Chosen of Regeneration, breaks all the seals in his or her world. The Chosen believes that they are attempting to save the world from destruction, which is partially true. The breaking of seals causes mana to flow into whichever world the Chosen hails from. The mana flow enables the exsphere research to continue in that particular world. But lately, I think that Mithos has begun something else. I think he is trying to wake Martel."

Anna covered her face with her hands. She felt overwhelmed by the flood of information that was turning her whole world upside down. Though she did not remember much of her life before the human ranch, she was sure that everything Kratos was telling her was contradictory to everything believed in that life. Questions piled up in her mind. It dawned on her that Kratos had mentioned "split worlds". He had also said that the Chosen of Regeneration caused mana to flow into his or her "particular world".

"You speak of 'split worlds'," she said after a while. "Do you mean…is there a world other than Sylvarant?"

He nodded. "It is called Tethe'alla. But it is not the moon. Tethe'alla exists in another dimension. It was once one with Sylvarant, but Mithos split the world into two, in an effort to end the war that was tearing the world apart."

She drew a shaky breath. "Is nothing as it seems?" But those words were whispered to herself, and Kratos did not answer.

She turned away and put her hand on the trunk of one of the trees. There were many things in Kratos' explanations that she did not understand, such as what "the seals" were, or how exspheres could make all races one. But she did not want to ask anymore, not yet. For a long time, she gazed out at the night. Kratos' words had shattered everything she thought she knew about the world, which admittedly had not been much. Yet she believed him. When she had been a child in the human ranch, Ian had tried to tell her that the Desians were actually helping each person they dragged out of the courtyard. He had been saddened when she told him that she knew he was lying. Something in her could sense when a person was telling the truth. That something told her that Kratos was telling her the truth now, impossible as it seemed.

Taking a deep breath, she turned back to face him. "How do you know so much about what is happening, and about what Mithos is doing?" she asked.

She saw Kratos clench his hands. His shoulders tensed. Fear of his answer gripped Anna. He sighed and locked eyes with her. "I am one of Mithos' comrades. I was with him all those years ago. I am an angel of Cruxis, Anna."


	4. A Loose End

**First review from AngelofaWhiteNight! If I had a way to give a prize you'd get one. I didn't realize that you actually had to insert these explanatory things yourself, which is why there's nothing for the first three chapters. Like I said/implied, first story on this website. **

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. That also is true for the previous three chapters.**

Kratos waited for her reaction to his revelation. It was not long in coming. She gasped, then ran up to him and slapped him with all her strength. He could have easily avoided her hand, but he allowed her to strike.

"How-how could you stand by and allow him to rule in such a way? Did you have no pity, no sense of right and wrong?" Anna's voice quavered, and she turned away.

She raised a clenched fist to her own forehead, as though she were trying to steady herself. With a deep breath, she raised her head to look at him. "Why did you stand by?" she repeated, sounding calmer. "You saw for yourself what happened to me in the ranch. There are countless other victims, all of whom have suffered more than I." She paused. There was a very long silence. Finally she spoke again. "Is it- did you decide-is the mission you spoke of- are you going to try to stop what is happening?" Her voice was much softer now. She sank to her knees.

He knelt down in front of her. "I am. Anna- I…" He stopped. He thought over his years. Her anger was justified. He had sat by and allowed Mithos to steadily tear apart thousands of lives. Why, indeed, had it taken him so long?

He took her hand in his. "Anna, everything you have said to me- I acknowledge that I should have done something long before now. All I can do now, though, is try to make amends for my inaction. I want to help you, if I possibly can."

She did not say anything. The night air seemed to settle all around them.

"I'm sorry."

Kratos stared at her. She met his eyes and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I should not- I wish you had acted. But I can understand, I think, how hard it would it be to tear yourself away from someone who had been your companion for so long. I think I can also understand how hard it would be accept that such a friend was doing something so evil. I- I wasn't thinking about those things when I shouted at you. All I can feel right now is regret, for everything that has happened. I wish that such things did not have to be. But you, at least, are trying to mend what you have allowed to happen."

Her words touched and surprised him. She seemed to have touched every doubt that had plagued his heart ever since he had left Mithos, and by doing so had unconsciously quelled each one. "I am sorry too," he answered. "For you and for everyone else. I should never have allowed Mithos to go on with his plan. I cannot undo what has been done, but I promise you I will do my best to mend it."

She smiled again, more joyfully. "Good. Perhaps there is hope for you yet."

Her eyes were serious, despite her teasing tone. Kratos smiled at her for the first

time. "Perhaps there is."

He stood up, and extended his hand. She took it, and rose. "We need to go as far away from the human ranch as possible," he said. "I do not know how much time we have before they discover that you are not there, but we need to go as far away as possible before stopping."

She nodded, but looked thoughtful, and rather sad. Kratos looked down at her. "Is it Ian?" he asked softly.

She said nothing, but her hand slackened in his.

Kratos remembered how she had been willing to watch him leave, because she did not want to abandon Ian, whoever he was. He looked down at her. "Will you stay here? If I am to go back, it would be easier if I were alone. What is Ian's name in the Desian records?"

Startled, she gazed at him open-mouthed, then embraced him. He was so surprised that he hardly knew how to respond. It only lasted for a brief second. She stepped back. "Be careful," she said somewhat shyly. "But you probably do not need me to tell you that. Ian's record name is J171."

He inclined his head, and turned back to the ranch. As he went through the woods, he wondered at the girl he had just left. She stirred him more deeply than any being he had met before. Mithos' sweet-sounding words sounded sibilant when compared to the fierce cry she had given when he had told her who he was. It crossed his mind that not many humans would have struck an angel the instant he revealed himself. The thought made him smile.

Kratos came upon the human ranch far more quickly than he liked. They were still far too close to the place; once the hunt started they would have to be miles away. He went back through the tunnel through which he and Anna had come. He crept through the hallways of the ranch, making his way to the main offices, his hand on the hilt of his sword the entire time. But he met no guards.

He came to a broad hallway with several doors on either side. He could tell that these were the offices. Somewhere among them was a filing room. He tensed. He could hear rapid footsteps coming in his direction. He looked for a room that was dark, found it, and entered, hoping that the Desian would not enter that room.

The footsteps ran by and faded.

Relieved, he put his hand on the door. Then he stopped. The entire room was filled with files of papers that stretched from floor to ceiling. Kratos smiled. Luck was with him tonight. The leader of the ranch kept his files well-organized, and in five minutes Kratos found the location of Ian's cell. He left the room and crept through the hallways, a few rights, a left, pass through several hallway intersections. The walls were now black stone, and the air was much colder than those of the main offices.

Ian's file had said he was kept in cell 403, deep within the human ranch. Kratos knew his risk of being discovered was very high. Given the quiet of the place, he did not think Anna's absence had not been discovered yet, but if he were found wandering about the ranch cells, it would not take the Desians long to discover the loss of their prized experiment.

Kratos found the cell soon enough. The doors were able to be opened from the outside, but not from within. He had no idea what to expect, and mentally cursed Anna's conscience that would not let her, and consequently him, rest until they had at least tried to help this person. He opened the door, and was astonished at what he saw.

An old man lay on a cot in the cell, covered with blood. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, muttering and whispering to himself. He was gnarled and twisted like a dead branch. Kratos could see that he had been whipped and beaten without pity, and that he was at the point of death.

He propped open the door with his sword and knelt by the old man. "What happened to you?" he asked.

The old man's eyes flew open. They stared wildly at nothing. "Anna talked-foolish child, hopeful child…they took her away, took her away, took her away… I talked, talked, asked, … they didn't like that-I don't think they like talking… or asking, especially about Anna…"

Kratos was glad that the girl in question had stayed behind. He touched the bloodied shoulder of the old man. "Ian, Anna is not dead. She is well. She asked for you, she hoped you would escape-"

"Escape!" Ian gasped. "She always hoped for that…she wanted me to come. But I can't now, I can't, they hurt me for talking and I have no hope without Anna. She always wanted me to hope, she always had hope herself, always had joy…Listen!" he exclaimed so earnestly that Kratos looked at him with new attention. "Listen! Anna will give you hope, she'll give you joy, she cannot help it, she was made that way. She simply cannot keep her joy within her, she'll give it to others-but don't lose her! If you lose her, you'll lose more than her joy, you'll lose a part of yourself that you won't know you had. I know that now…I know that. Tell Anna I wish her well… I want her to be happy…keep her safe!"

"I will," Kratos answered.

The old man nodded, then let his eyes fall to the side. "More punishment? No-haven't I been punished enough? All I did was talk to her…all I did…" His voice trailed off, and his body slackened.

Kratos straightened up. Whatever anger he had felt toward Anna vanished. He understood now the exasperated affection and sorrow in her voice when she had spoken of this man. He made sure he could do nothing before turning on his heel and stalking out of the cell. All he felt now was a consuming rage with Mithos-and himself. The leader of Cruxis should have been overthrown as soon as he had begun to set his plan in motion. And as for himself? Kratos felt that nothing less than years of torture could possibly atone for the suffering he had allowed. How many others had died, gone out of their minds, or been broken by grief because he had been unable to summon the resolution to defy Mithos?

It was well for the Desians of the ranch that they did not meet Kratos as he made his way back through the human ranch. All the halls were deserted, and the place was deadly quiet. But then again, the Desians had no reason to suspect that anything was amiss. Kratos knew that there were surveillance cameras, but he hoped that he and Anna could get at least a day's journey away from the ranch before the Desians discovered that she was gone. There were no cameras in the hallways of the cell; they could not know that he had led her out.

As he walked through the secret tunnel he stopped and swore very softly. There were no surveillance cameras in the cells, but there were cameras in the main hallways. They would surely analyze all footage when Anna's absence was discovered, and see him walking through. The Desians might not necessarily connect a head of Cruxis in their halls with the disappearance of a prisoner, since Mithos occasionally sent his angels down to the ranches; though they might think it odd since Kratos had not left Derris Kharlan in centuries. But when Mithos realized that Kratos had left him for good, he would send out alerts, and the Desians would then put a different interpretation on the images.

As soon as he replaced the stone on the tunnel mouth, he raced through the woods as fast as he could, arriving at Anna's side in less than a minute. She was clearly startled and relieved by his sudden appearance. "Kratos, what happened? Were you seen by any of them?"

He shook his head. "I saw Ian. He had been tortured brutally by the Desians-I believe because he was seen speaking to you. He seemed to have lost his mind in some ways, but he did tell me that…"Kratos hesitated. "That he wished you well, and wanted you to be happy."

She rubbed her arms. "How badly was he injured?" she asked pointedly.

Kratos answered what he was sure she was thinking. "I could not possibly have healed him, Anna. He had been tortured very harshly. He died very soon after I came into the cell."

She nodded. "At least," she said softly, "he is at peace now. He had suffered so much. I wish he had not had to die so painfully, but the afterlife is almost certainly a happier place for him than Sylvarant ever was."

"We should leave now, and get as far away from here as we can," Kratos said quietly. "I would give us at most seven hours before they realize that you are gone, and once Yggdrasill discovers that I have left him, I will become a very dangerous companion for you. I need to take you somewhere where you will be safe, and then I need to disappear entirely."

"Where can you take me that I won't be a danger to everyone I meet?" she countered. "The only place I remember was my birthplace, Luin, and I'm sure the Desians will search there first when they discover I have gone."

"You are right, they would expect you to go to the place of your birth. But once they have left Luin, I could take you there. I doubt they would return to it if they search the town and do not find you. If you are willing to wait perhaps a few weeks, I can bring you there."

Almost as if someone were pulling the words out of her, she answered: "I would like that. Thank you."

Kratos guessed that she would not wish to talk more that night. "If that is what you wish, then I promise I will see you safe to Luin once the Desians have left it. We should go farther away from the ranch than we are now. Can you come now?"

He looked at her. Her face was turned away, but grief was written in every line of her body. "I'm ready," she answered.

He held out his hand to her, and she took it. Silently they went away from the ranch, two shadows that soon faded among the trees.


	5. I do not know what to make of you

**Next update! Once again, thanks so much for reading! And if you're reviewing, I love that too!**

**CommodoreZelda13: Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to make it better! I'm really really bad at description. The dialogue gets better as the story goes on (I think, but I've been wrong before). And yes, I am a huge Within Temptation fan; my pen name is homage to the song that got me addicted. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I originally wrote this story just for the enjoyment of myself and the friend who directed me to the manga. I was several chapters in before I finally got the courage to post, which is why I'm updating so fast. I am catching up with myself though... but I'm working on Ch. 9 now, so I should be ok for a little. **

**Disclaimer: I'm not nearly creative enough to own Tales of Symphonia. **

A drop of rain on her face made Anna wake. She sat up and brushed the water off her forehead. All the events of the night came back to her. After Kratos had returned they had traveled for hours far into the forest. She vaguely remembered grey light showing in the sky before falling asleep.

Kratos was sitting beside her. They were both underneath a huge pine, with thick branches that swept the ground and formed a tent around the trunk of the tree. He nodded to her, then stared out at the forest. Anna sat up beside him.

"I never said 'Thank you' for what you did last night," she said. "But your going back- it was a kindness that meant a great deal to me."

"Was he such a great friend, then?" Kratos asked, his eyes never leaving the woods.

"No, I did not really consider him a friend. But, nevertheless I felt a-a responsibility to him. He helped me, as best he knew, when I came to the human ranch as a child, and I felt indebted to him for that. Then, as I grew older, he began to infect me with his own despair. But I-I decided that his gloomy view on life was wrong, and from then on, I wanted to try to help him be happier."

Kratos looked at her. "He infected you with his own despair?"

Anna dropped her eyes. "I know that sounds harsh. But he kept talking about how people in the human ranch were not… 'true humans' was the phrase he used. He kept meandering on about how all we could do as captives was wait for the Desians to kill us. He felt that any human in the ranch was broken and worthless, because of what we had endured. I don't believe he did this intentionally, but his words did make me lose hope, many times."

Kratos raised his eyebrows. "And you did not resent him for this?"

"At times, yes, I did." She crushed a pine needle in her fingers. "But more often I pitied him. I think that with him, if only he could have had some joy, however small, he would not have been so consumed by despair. When I brought him a roll yesterday, he became so much happier than I had ever seen him. I kept hoping that maybe one day he could learn to just be happy for each day, and try to wrest from it what pleasure he could."

There was a short pause. Anna threw away the needle fragments and leaned back on her hands. Now that the shock of the night had faded a little, she was consumed with curiosity about Kratos himself. "What about you?" she asked. "How did you come to the decision to leave Mithos, who you had been friends with for so long?" She knew that she was asking a question that her companion would probably not be inclined to answer. He had a right to remain silent, she mentally conceded. Yet in her own mind she was still unsure of him, and his motives in helping her. She hoped with all her heart he would answer her honestly, so she could decide whether or not to trust him. She wanted to trust him, to know that he was indeed her friend. But he was still far too mysterious for her liking.

"I found I could not continue to shut my eyes to what he was doing." Kratos's low voice penetrated the stillness. "I did shut my eyes, for a long time. I kept telling myself that the suffering he was causing was for a greater good that would outweigh the evil of his plan. But after thousands of years of telling myself this, I acknowledged that I was deluding myself, and doing so at the cost of thousands of lives. Despite that acknowledgement, I still found it hard to tear myself away from the side of my friend. I tried to talk him out of his ideas, several times. Finally I confronted him and told him that I could not stand by and allow him to continue his plans. I was expecting a battle with him, but he did not take my outburst seriously, and dismissed me quietly. I descended from Derris Kharlan immediately after that. I came down at the Asgard human ranch, and then met you."

There was an odd intonation in his voice as he ended his speech. Anna looked at him curiously, and wondered what was going through his mind. Yet his answer seemed honest enough. She had the feeling that if he had been lying, he would have tried to excuse himself from blame; if anything, he seemed harshly contemptuous of himself. He did not seem truly repentant, not yet. But perhaps that would come in time. If he was truly intent upon helping those crushed by Mithos, he would have to feel a deep sorrow for what had happened, and from that a desire to make it right. Pure anger was an unmatched force while it lasted, but it did not last for long, as Anna knew from experience. She had only begun to truly live, she felt, when she had begun to try to make Ian happy. Fury against the Desians had come and gone in ebbs and flows, but her compassion for Ian had accomplished more for him than her anger had ever hurt the Desians.

She came out of her reverie to find Kratos staring at her. Looking slightly embarrassed, he turned his head away. She smiled to herself, and stood up. "Do you have any definite plan?" she asked.

"Not yet," he answered. There was a short silence. He did not look at her, but seemed to be smiling as he added, "Your presence…complicates matters."

Anna smiled a little and leaned against the tree trunk. "A poor repayment, considering that you saved me…and then took goodness knows how great a risk in going back to the ranch to try to help poor Ian."

Kratos turned away. His shoulders stiffened. "If anything, I have an obligation to you, given what I have allowed."

"Your obligation is not to me," Anna replied, without anger. "If you truly wish to atone for what you have done, you must perform some just penance for what you have done. It is not as simple as just helping me."

He did not answer. Anna had already decided that he was taciturn by nature, but his silence now seemed troubled.

She knelt beside him. "Kratos, please hear me. The fact that you are haunted by what you have done says much for your conscience, but if you allow yourself to be consumed by your guilt, you will only drive yourself to despair. I cannot judge your guilt, but I know that the guilt of responsibility is not yours. You cannot make amends for what you have done by drowning in self-loathing. You will need to have a higher motivation, if you wish to achieve anything."

Kratos laughed bitterly. "If you had any notion of the hatred I feel for myself now, you would not say I needed any greater motivation."

"I think I may know something of it," Anna responded quietly. "You feel as though you wish to break the object of your hate, utterly destroy it. But you must destroy it in such a way that it set right some injustice the hated thing has brought about. For that end you wish to grind away the hated thing, until it is gone. Only in your case, this object of hatred is yourself. Is that…is that anything like what you feel?"

He looked down at his hands. "Something like it."

Anna stared at the branches of the pine. "I felt that consuming hatred for the Desians, every time they examined me, every time they took someone screaming out of the courtyard. I don't think that what I felt is exactly the same as what you feel now, for obvious reasons. But I think there are some similarities. And I know that my hatred of the Desians would always die away, and begin to fester and rot rather than burn. It never did any good."

She shivered. Her thin dress did not keep out the cold, and she had no shoes. But the rain itself was so strange, so incredible, that she did not complain. Every time the water struck her, she felt a thrill that she could feel the raindrops. She longed to go out and explore the woods. But that might be too dangerous.

Kratos seemed to sense her thoughts. "If you wish to go out, you could. I can warn you if anyone comes near."

She nodded and pushed through the branches. Once out in the open, she thought again about Kratos. She still was uncomfortable around him, but, whatever his strangeness, he did not seem to mean her harm. She wished that she could have come with him into the ranch to see Ian. She was sure that Kratos had not told her the whole of what had happened at Ian's death, though she could not imagine why.

Another thought struck her. How did Kratos know the Asgard human ranch so intimately? The tunnel through which he had taken her was well-concealed. And he had somehow found his way to Ian's cell, using only the knowledge of his name in the Desian records. How could he possibly have known where Ian was kept, and somehow make the journey in only an hour or less?

All the doubts Anna had felt when she had heard that Kratos was an angel came rushing back. She was visited by the horrible notion that perhaps Kratos had lied to her from beginning to end, that everything he had told was false. But what on earth could his motive be? If he was after the exsphere she bore, surely his purpose would have been better served if he waited to steal it until after the exsphere had grown. If he wanted to use it to take power from Yggdrasil for himself, perhaps his actions would make sense-but surely he could have accomplished the same thing by waiting. The danger to him would be much less if he waited to take the exsphere until after the Desians removed it from her body. And how could her exsphere, however enhanced, possibly be powerful enough to make Kratos risk his life in obtaining it covertly? Why would he saddle himself with her? She hampered his movements, and made him much more vulnerable to attack from Yggdrasil. Perhaps he was trying to win her trust to make taking the exsphere easier-but he had proven in Asgard that he had great physical power; he could easily overpower her, if that was his goal.

She shook her head, scattering raindrops from her hair. Though it seemed utterly fantastic, the only conclusion she could come to was that Kratos was telling the truth. Any other explanation simply did not account for everything that had occurred.

She turned around to go back to the tree, and was surprised to see Kratos standing outside it. He had not made one sound. For a moment she hesitated, then asked him outright: "How do you know the Asgard human ranch as well as you do? And why did you take me out the way you did? How were you able to find Ian? And," Her voice caught. Swallowing hard, she continued, "What happened at his death? I don't think you lied, but you didn't tell me everything, and…" She stopped. She was trembling. Tears ran down her cheeks.

Kratos answered slowly. "Ian, I think, was losing his mind as he died. He kept mentioning you, how you always had hope, always wanted him to escape. But he was not very coherent, and he kept repeating himself. I don't know if that is what you meant when you said I had not told you everything about his death. I did not want to make you sadder than you needed to be. As for how I know the ranch as well as I do, I helped oversee its building, almost 700 years ago. I took you out the way I did simply because I am able to pass through the window bars, but I could not do that and take someone else with me. Why do you ask?"

Anna was surprised that Kratos had even asked her a question, but she was even more puzzled by the manner of his asking. He almost sounded hesitant.

"I- do not know what to make of you," she answered candidly. "I cannot say more than that."

She half-expected him to expostulate with her, but he simply lowered his head. "That is fair enough."

He went back beneath the tree. As soon as he had disappeared Anna began to weep in earnest, this time in mourning for Ian and everything he had endured.


	6. Yggdrasill

**There are so many other things I should be doing. This fanfic has really and truly taken over my life, which is a little disturbing. But I love it anyway. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight, thanks again for reviewing! It really makes me happy...knowing that somebody is actually reading this, and enjoying it. If you're reading, even if you're not reviewing, thanks so much. I really get happy when I see that the story is actually getting hits all the way through. Especially since the more I reread the more I get convinced that the first four chapters need some serious work. If you're sticking around, know that I really really really appreciate it! **

**Disclaimer: If you think I own Tales of Symphonia, I strongly advise you to get your head examined as soon as possible. **

Throughout the rest of that day, neither Kratos nor Anna said much to one another. Kratos could tell that Anna needed time to grieve, and he wanted time to think. He was not sure what she felt towards him, but was sure that she did not fully trust him, not yet. In any case, it did not matter. He would part company with her, as soon as it was safe for her. But he did not know what he would do after that. Her words had convinced him that he would need to do something to strike at Mithos. And though he did not want to admit it to her, he did not have any definite plan.

As dusk began to fall, Anna rejoined him under the pine. She had not wept as much as he had expected her to, but she had wandered about the area often. Her sorrow was clear, but she seemed calmer than she had been earlier. Indeed, she looked almost puzzled.

"Kratos…" she hesitated, "Did you say you would tell me if anyone came near?"

That surprised him. "Yes."

"When I was outside the tree earlier- it was only a few minutes ago this happened- I saw someone in the woods."

Kratos shook his head. "Impossible." Anna stared at him, and he continued, "My senses are stronger than yours. I would have heard anyone walking within several hundred yards of us."

"But there was someone in the woods, very close to us."

"What did this person look like?"

Anna furrowed her eyebrows. "Very tall. And truthfully-I'm not sure if it was a man or a woman. The hair was very long, or I would have said it was certainly a man. 'He' had pale skin, and rather small eyes. He moved very silently; I never heard him, I happened to look-Kratos?"

Kratos had leapt to his feet and was staring out at the woods. He kept his hand on his sword. "Anna, did this person see you?"

He heard her stand up beside him. "I don't know. That was why I came back. He seemed to stop at one point. I was behind a tree, relative to him, and he seemed to look hard near where I was. I stayed still, and after a while he went on. Is he with the Desians? He did not look like one…"

"Be silent!" How, _how_ could Yggdrasil have found him so soon? He turned to Anna. "Stay here."

"Kratos, what is going on?"

"This is probably Yggdrasil." He drew his sword, and stepped out of the pine branches.

The angel was standing a few yards from the pine. His presence dominated the forest; the large trees seemed to dim and recede behind his tall figure. His long pale hair moved slightly in the breeze. Unexpectedly, he smiled at Kratos. "My friend, the leader of Asgard just communicated with me in a panic, wondering why I had sent you down to his ranch without forewarning. What made you come here?"

"You should know by now." Kratos answered.

"So you meant what you said earlier." Yggdrasill sighed, "I wish I could convince you. Why can you not trust me anymore to do what is right? You were once at my side, you once helped me, and, I believe, with true conviction. Can you truly be leaving my side, after all these years?"

"What do your eyes tell you?"

For a long time, the two stared at one another. Kratos waited for any sudden movement. Then a spasm of pain crossed Mithos's face, making him look exactly like the heartbroken boy Kratos remembered from their friendship so long ago. Even as this look crossed his face, Yggdrasill lunged forward.

The attack was so sudden that Kratos barely had time to raise his sword. The blast of light from Yggdrasill knocked him down, but did not incapacitate him. For half a second he was expecting to die, but then he realized that Yggdrasill had turned away from him. Without pausing to think, Kratos sprang up and struck. A thrust from his sword, and Yggdrasill was gasping, clutching at his side. Kratos leapt toward him. Mithos gave him a look of hatred, and sprang upward and away, vanishing into the sky.

Kratos sheathed his sword. He looked to the pine, and saw Anna standing there, looking shaken. "Are you all right?" she asked, "I saw you struck down, but I couldn't tell what had happened. I've never seen anything like that before."

Kratos looked at her sharply. "You saw him knock me down?"

She nodded. "That was when I came out from under the tree. I just- wanted to distract him."

"You could have been killed."

She laughed out loud. "As you would have been, had I done nothing. I knew I could not possibly fight him, but I thought that perhaps you could do something, provided you were still intact."

Kratos smiled. "Then thank you."

She smiled back. "I think I at least owe you some help, given what you have done for me. And, honestly, till just now, I did not realize just how much you have done. I was not sure for a while if you were actually just using me for some purpose of your own. But given what Yggdrasill said to you-I believe you now. I wanted to trust you before, and now I think I can."

Kratos was surprised by the joy he felt at those words. He hoped it did not show on his face. "I think I have a plan now," he said wryly, "We need to leave immediately, and I'm afraid I cannot take you to Luin, not yet."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "Well, if we are going on the run, we-or I at least-must stop at Luin. I haven't seen you eat anything yet, but I will need supplies, or at least some better clothes. Are we going to stay together throughout this hunt?"

Kratos did not answer her immediately. He finally stirred himself to speak. "I think you and I should stay together, at least for a while. If you and I were to go separate ways, you would be at great risk of being recaptured by the Desians, or of being taken by Yggdrasill. We should stay together, at least as long as we are both hunted."

With a quick motion she rubbed her arms. "Then," she asked calmly, "what should we do now?"

"I saw a farmhouse some distance to the north of here. They might be willing to sell us supplies."

A few hours later they came to the house. Kratos saw small rows of growing plants on one side of the house. A battered plow was in the front lawn. Night had truly fallen by this point. Anna nearly walked into the plow, and only his sharp exclamation stopped her.

The door of the small house opened. A young man, blue-eyed and brown-haired, stood there, carrying a heavy stick in one hand. He cast a suspicious look at Kratos's sword. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"We are on the run," answered Anna. Kratos turned to stare at her, but she did not notice. "I was once a prisoner of the human ranch."

Kratos grabbed her hand surreptitiously, in an effort to silence her. Just then, he heard a footstep behind the farmer. A woman, who looked only a few years older than Anna stood there. She was clearly pregnant. Her round green eyes stared at Anna with sympathy. "You were a prisoner?" she asked, looking at Anna.

Anna nodded her head. "We won't stay long. Both of us bring you into danger while we stay. But if you could help us-"

Kratos cut her off, "We will pay for any food, or clothing for her, that you can give us. I have money." He produced his coins.

The man looked belligerent. The woman gave Kratos a sharp look, then spoke to Anna, "We have some dried meats and fruits, and I think I can shoes and a better garment for you than that thing you're wearing now. If you'll wait a few moments, I can get them together."

She disappeared into the house for some minute and reappeared with a pack and some garments. "Why don't you come in and try on the dress?" she asked Anna, "Here, come on." She reached past her husband and beckoned Anna in, leaving Kratos and the farmer to stare at each other.

Some time later, Kratos and Anna left, Kratos having paid handsomely for the food and the brown tunic and boots that Anna now wore. The man and the woman watched them go. Once they were out of sight, the farmer shut the door and turned to his wife. "An odd pair," he commented.

The woman nodded. "Odd indeed."

"What did you make of them?"

"I think they were telling the truth, what little they did tell. I wish them luck, whatever their errand. Especially the girl. She's probably had little enough luck in her life."

The man set down his stick. "She seemed honest enough to me, but I couldn't make anything of the man."

The woman sat down by the fire. "I couldn't tell much about him either, but I can tell you this: by the look on his face whenever he looked at that girl, he'll be madly in love with her before another month is gone."

Meanwhile Kratos hoped that no harm would come to the people they had left. If Yggdrasill were to find out that they had helped Kratos and Anna, he might do something in retaliation. But the possibility that worried Kratos most was that Yggdrasill might to try to exploit the fact that Anna was with him.

For a long time the two of them walked through the woods. Suddenly Anna broke the silence. "Will you teach me how to use a sword?"

Her question surprised Kratos so much that he turned to stare at her. "What is it?" she asked. "If attacks from the Desians and Yggdrasill are things we can expect, I am just a danger to us both. A rat armed with a twig could probably defeat me as I am now." She stopped, and continued hesitantly, "And I don't mean to start immediately, if that what's why you're looking at me the way you are. I simply wanted to ask if you would teach me."

"If you wish."

Anna nodded after a short pause. She whispered to herself, but Kratos heard her clearly anyway, "What an instructor you will make. I'll have one syllable directives for every lesson and if I have a question…" Her voice trailed off. She drew in her breath softly. "You heard every word of that, didn't you?" she said.

Kratos laughed out loud, for the first time he could remember in years. "Yes, I did."

Anna's voice sounded embarrassed, but also as though she were smiling, "I forgot that you said that you had stronger senses." Now she sounded as though she were laughing. "I don't know that I'm altogether sorry, but I wouldn't have said that aloud. So in that sense, yes, I am sorry. And thank you, by the way, for agreeing to teach me."

For a long time, they walked on through the woods. After an hour or so, Anna began to stumble more and more frequently over branches and roots. When she nearly fell over a small log, Kratos had to catch her. "We should stop now. You need to rest."

She sat down against the log. "I'd love that. Good night, Kratos."

He drew his sword and sat down next to her. "Good night, Anna."


	7. Making a Fire

**Wow. Almost three days since I've updated? That feels like an eternity for me. I don't know if I can keep this pace up, but I promise I'll try. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: That admission thing does have an explanation, but it involves analyzing Kratos to the point of absurdity. I'd enjoy that, but I doubt anyone else would.**

**AndieArmstrong: I think you already did enter my brain; I've been working on this story non-stop for almost a month! That said, I love that you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. **

A spurt of smoke came from the glowing twigs. For a moment or two Anna thought she had succeeded in starting the fire. She prodded the sticks, and they began to blacken. The smoke spiraled up and the red glow died.

She gave an exasperated cry, and again grabbed the flint and steel. How could Kratos make this look so easy? She could strike the sparks so that they would catch on the wood, but building up the flame was utterly beyond her.

It had been two weeks since she had asked Kratos to teach her how to use a sword. Her first attempts had been slightly disastrous, since she could barely lift the sword Kratos used. But it was the only weapon to hand, and the more she used it, the more adept she became. Lately, since they had remained in the woods to the south of Asgard, and avoided any contact with others, Kratos had begun to show her how to hunt. That was not nearly as difficult as she had expected it to be, and she had become skilled enough for them to take turns hunting whenever they made camp. But making a fire completely baffled her. Tonight it had been Kratos' turn to hunt, and she was hoping she could get a few flames, at least, before he returned.

She struck flint and steel briskly, and the sparks flew. But this time they did not even bring out a small glow in the wood. She threw down the metals. If she had known any curses, she would have employed them.

"You need to use smaller sticks when you start."

Anna started. She could not get used to never hearing Kratos approach. "Smaller sticks?" she repeated.

"If you want to get flames from the sparks, you need to use very small dry fuel at the beginning." Kratos put the corpse of a bird by the wood. "Sometimes it's easier to use dry grass or dry leaves to begin, then as those are burning, put very small twigs on top. I've found pine twigs are best, but any very thin dry stick will do."

Anna hid a smile at this speech, which for Kratos was the equivalent of a lengthy monologue. She stood and began to gather fresh fuel. A thought struck her. "Kratos, how long could the hunt for us last?"

"I think the Desians will stop hunting you after a month or so. But Yggdrasill saw you, he may hunt for you as well, and he is much harder to avoid."

Anna snapped off some thin branches from a huge dead tree-limb. She wanted more than anything to fight the being that was causing so much suffering. But she knew that she did not have the ability to accomplish anything against him, not yet. And she had no way of knowing the best way to attack him. But Kratos might. She decided to ask him after- if- she started the fire.

She rejoined Kratos and for a while they worked in silence, Anna stacking the thin twigs and Kratos cleaning the meat. When she was ready, Anna took up the flint and steel. With a quick motion she struck the two together. The sparks flew for a moment, and a small flame appeared. She added a larger stick, and immediately the flame withered. Angrily she sat back on her heels, staring at the sticks.

"Glaring at the wood is not going to ignite it, unfortunately," Kratos' voice sounded amused.

Anna laughed, even though she was surprised. It was rare for her companion to ever offer an unsolicited comment, let alone make a joke, however mild. "If it could, we'd have a bonfire," she answered. "I've been trying to get this started ever since you left earlier."

"Do you want me to try?"

Anna shook her head. "Let me try a few more times, if that's all right with you. I would really like to figure this out."

Twice more she struck the flint and steel. The second time she thought she had obtained the flame, but once again it died as soon as she added the larger stick.

"Let it burn for a little before you add the larger stick. And if you can try to lay it down on top of the burning sticks, rather than throwing it, the flame may catch on that as well."

Anna paused, about to strike. Was now a good time to ask him about Yggdrasill? Kratos seemed more talkative tonight than he ever had before. True, he had told her more when they had left Asgard, but the circumstances that night and the day after had been somewhat extraordinary. Did she really have the right to ask him about something that probably painful for him still?

"Anna?"

"It's- Kratos, is…" She met his eyes, and trailed off. Not now, she could not possibly ask him now. Something about the way he was looking at her, waiting for her to ask her question, made her incapable of finishing. She did not want to see his face, which looked almost contented, freeze and become the unreadable mask she knew it would, should she ask about Yggdrasill.

She shook her head, and concentrated on the fire again. "Nothing."

She felt his eyes on her and raised her head. "What is it?"

"Anna, what is it you wanted to ask me?"

With a quick toss of her head, she shook her hair out of her eyes. "It can wait. It's not important, not now."

"Not 'now'?"

"What I mean is, it can wait for another time. It's not urgent. Now this fire, on the other hand, that may need addressing soon."

Kratos looked at her with a hint of smile. "You give up then?"

Anna raised her chin. "Now that you put it that way- no." She reset the pile of twigs and struck again. The sparks caught the twigs and they began to burn. A small breeze came up and the flames gathered strength. Feeling nervous, she added a thicker branch to the flames. It did not crush the fire, though it did lower the flames a little. Then it too began to burn.

Kratos bent and began to build up the flames. "Well done," he said lightly.

Anna smiled. Praise from him was hard to come by. "Now that I've learned that, perhaps I should start figuring out how to cook on a fire."

"It might be wise."

Anna began to look for sticks that were sturdy enough to be used for roasting. Dusk had fallen. The firelight made flickering shadows on the tree-trunks that were all around. Several of the trees had smooth pale bark, which showcased the fire-shadows. One of those shadows reminded her vividly of the eyes of the horrible Desian who had examined her face in Asgard. That thought led to another. She turned back to the fire.

"Kratos, it just occurred to me: why haven't we had any kind of encounter with the Desians? I know that we've been moving around a great deal, but our range has been rather limited; to be honest, I've been expecting a run-in of some kind. It seems strange that it's been so- well- easy."

Kratos straightened up from the flames. His figure appeared taller than usual in the flickering light. "I cannot explain that."

His tone told Anna that he was offended at the implied slight on his skills in evading their hunters. She had to grin, since his back was turned. The man- angel- had emotions after all, even if he was good at hiding them. "I'm sorry I seemed to question your ability to keep us safe," she said gently. "It just seemed strange that we have had no encounter with the Desians, even though I'm sure they're still hunting hard for us. That's all I meant."

Kratos bent his head, but stood still. "Kratos?" she whispered. This silence on his part frightened her; it reminded her of when Yggdrasill had discovered them.

He turned away from the fire and grabbed both their packs. With a quick movement he took her hand and drew her into the woods. Bewildered, she followed him without comment, trying to imitate his silence. When the fire was only a short distance away, Kratos stopped and turned towards it. Anna reached up and took the packs from him. "What's happening?" she whispered as quietly as possible, knowing that Kratos would hear her.

"We may have our first encounter with the Desians."

Anna drew in her breath. "How close are they?"

"From what I could hear, it sounded as though they were close enough to see our fire. I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention."

She squinted at the fire. "How many are there?" she whispered.

"It seems only a few," he answered. After a short time, Kratos suddenly changed position. "They are tracking our traces," he said quietly, "to where we stand now."

"You mean my traces," Anna replied. "Why are we waiting for them?"

"Because we can already see you, AO12," a loud ringing voice called. "There is no point in hiding. As for you, Kratos Aurion, you are running with an escaped experiment, and it will be very much easier for you to flee your own pursuer, if you simply hand her over to us."

Anna felt Kratos' hand on her arm. He drew his sword.

"Come on, AO12, do you truly wish another to die for your sake?" The loud voice sounded artificial, bored.

Anna started violently. "What do you mean by 'another'?" she called, fearing the answer. Kratos' hand tightened on her arm, and she clamped her lips shut.

"Your friend, J171, who helped you escape, as we thought at the time. When he began to ask after you, we became suspicious, especially when we discovered that you had somehow gotten out, killing two high ranking officials in the process. No doubt when you talked with him, you were plotting your escape. Although it was a shabby trick to leave him behind, AO12."

Furious, Anna cut him off. "Why did you kill him?" she almost screamed. "What had he done? You said that you only thought at the time that he helped. But he did nothing!"

Kratos leaned toward her and whispered, "Stay here." Raising his voice, he called, "I can guess, I think. What were you going to say in your follow-up report to Cruxis? No doubt you immediately sent them a giddy missive as soon as the girl made it out of the operation room alive. But when you had to follow that with a report saying that your 'experiment' had escaped, in a fully staffed human ranch, you searched in a hurry for an explanation that would keep Cruxis from investigating too closely. And a prisoner who was seen speaking with the experiment in question no doubt seemed perfect. But you needed to silence him, so he could not deny it."

Horrified, Anna gripped the packs tighter. But that explanation made sense. Humans were inferior beings, who had no use except to serve the greater purpose of the Desians. And if that greater purpose involved saving the neck of an official, then that was what would happen.

The voice of the Desian rose again, sounding shaken, "Whatever the circumstances of AO12's escape, I am going to set the circumstances of…its recapture. Turn her over."

Kratos gave a laugh which made Anna tremble. "And you will not take the chance of capturing the most wanted fugitive ever to cross your path?" He strode back to the fire. Anna wanted to follow him, but she waited a short time, and then came a little closer, so she could hear their words.

As soon as Kratos stepped into the light, all the Desians stepped backwards and drew closer together. There were only four. Their leader was a short thin Desian she had never seen.

"So," Kratos said flatly, "given your mission, we can assume that you," his eyes wandered over the four nervous-looking Desians, "must be the pride of Asgard. Yet you shy away from taking a prisoner whose capture could secure your standing in Cruxis forever."

"I have not been told to do anything to you. All I know is that you are wanted," answered the Desian. He's afraid, Anna realized. He's terrified that Kratos will attack him.

There was a very long pause. Anna tried to analyze what was going on. He knows you can destroy him in a heartbeat, Kratos. It's clear he's frightened. So why does he do nothing? The whole situation was worrying her. Why were there so few Desians? Surely they knew by this point that she and Kratos were travelling together. Why would they send only four rather cowardly soldiers to track a renegade angel of Cruxis and a valuable experiment?

She heard Kratos' voice, still mocking, "Do you really think letting me go will improve your own standing in Cruxis?"

The Desian leader leaned forward. "You will have a better chance of avoiding being dragged back to them in chains if you hand that thing over to me," he hissed. His demeanor had changed; he looked and sounded almost arrogant.

Kratos knocked the Desian's sword out of his hand, shoving him back into the small fire, and proceeded to disarm his three companions in short order. But the leader, even as his clothes began to burn, had begun to scan the sky.

Anna saw him stand. Even as he shook off ashes and hot coals, he was smiling. Something felt profoundly wrong. That secret smile, the fact that even now his soldiers were delaying, rather than fleeing or fighting. Then the Desian again raised his eyes to the dark sky. His face fell from triumphant to terrified. That look decided her. She dropped the packs and ran into the clearing.

Kratos spun and faced her. She had never seen him look so purely angry. Only a few hours ago a stare like that would have stopped her dead in her tracks. But she could deal with him later; they had to leave, now. She gestured upwards. "The sky, something about the sky, we have to go!"

Kratos glanced upwards, then seized Anna's hand and began to run. She sprinted as hard as she could, hoping she could keep pace with him. He was as fast as he was strong, she soon realized. There was no way she could keep this up for long, but she would go as long as she could. "Kratos," she gasped, "what are we running from?"

His only response was to glance backward and run faster. Anna was hard pressed to avoid the trees and roots, and did not bother to look at whatever he had seen.

Suddenly a white light seemed to shine all around them. Anna looked back then, and saw that a lightning bolt had blasted the area she and Kratos had just left. Even as she watched, white flames began to consume the trees. But they were out of range of the fire. Kratos slowed down and led her behind a large tree. He let go of her hand, which had begun to grow numb from his grip.

When she could speak, she looked at Kratos. "What happened back there?" she asked.

He turned to her. "I should ask you that. How did you know that that was going to happen?"

Anna felt a hysterical impulse to laugh. "I _didn't_. I had no idea what was going to happen. I was worried because there were so few Desians, yet they knew our location, and that we were traveling together. It seemed odd that they would send so few, especially if they knew that you were with me. Then I saw the leader looking at the sky. He seemed to be smiling, but then he looked absolutely terror-stricken. That was when I ran out."

She paused then continued, "How did you know that that was why they did what they did to Ian?" The thought of Ian made her feel sick. Why, why, _why_ had she not thought of him when Kratos had offered her escape? If she had not been thinking only of her own hopes, perhaps she could have saved him too.

"I guessed about Ian," said Kratos, more gently than she had ever heard him before. "I was not sure, but given what the Desian said about his helping you escape, it seemed probable. When I said my guess he seemed shocked. He was afraid, and I think that that could be partially attributed to fear about how much I knew about their counsels."

"He seemed relieved as the conversation went on," Anna said. She sat down and hoped her voice would remain steady. "He seemed very afraid when you first came out, but as you kept talking, he seemed to relax a little. That was when he began looking at the sky." She stopped, fighting to control her emotions.

"Anna." Kratos' voice made her look up. She saw that he was kneeling in front of her. "Anna, listen to me. You could not possibly have known what the Desians would do to Ian. I had just violently killed two guards, you were barely recovered from a very harsh operation, and I had earlier appeared from nowhere. It would have been almost beyond human capability to not be in some kind of shock. I know that you felt responsible for him, but…" He stopped abruptly and looked so unsure of himself that Anna began to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Thank you," she said, as soon as she could. "I know you're right. Well- my mind does."

Kratos glanced at her strangely, then looked away, "In time, your heart will know it too."

"I hope so." She brushed away her tears. "Kratos, was Yggdrasill behind what happened there? I can't think of anyone else who could give a lighting blast, but why use those Desians?"

Kratos lowered his head. "I think he was behind the attack…and, well, he is mad. I cannot imagine why he chose this method of attacking us, but I think he has known our location all along, and told those four. But why he would send them, and not the higher, more capable officials- I do not know."

"Perhaps he wants his own revenge on you, and that way he could get it without losing anyone useful. Maybe he will assume we are dead, since I dropped both our packs in when I ran out; he might find the traces."

"I would not be too confident," Kratos said dryly. "But I hope you're right."

"Will he come himself, do you think?"

"Possibly."

Anna grimaced, and leaned against the tree. "I truly hope not," she murmured. "I don't think I've seen a more unsettling person. Except maybe the slant-eyed Desian at Asgard."

"Do you mean Kvar?" said Kratos sharply.

"Maybe. I never knew his name. He had slanting eyes, a thin mouth. He never said much, but he seemed in charge whenever I saw him. He was at every experiment the Desians performed on me." Anna clenched her hands. It still jarred her whenever Kratos acknowledged his former alliance, even if it was only in the knowledge of a name. "Did you know…Kvar?"

Kratos shrugged. "I only know of him, but he is not someone who forgives. You will have to settle far away from Asgard, when it is safe, and you must make sure neither he nor any Desian official can trace your past, whenever you settle."

"Easy enough," answered Anna lightly, "if Yggdrasill is obliging enough to assume you and I are dead. At the moment, he's more on my mind than Kvar."

"Mine too," answered Kratos softly. "You should rest while you can, Anna. I think we will have a long way to go later."

"What about you?" she asked. "I don't mean to pry, but I don't know that I've ever seen you sleep. Do you want me to watch for a little?"

"I haven't needed to sleep, not since I became an angel. I will be all right. Get some rest, Anna."

Anna could tell he wanted silence, since he could not have solitude. She lay down and shut her eyes, surprised at how tired she felt. Her last thought before her eyes closed was that for four thousand years, Kratos had had to watch his friend fall into madness, unable to escape, however shortly, in slumber.


	8. Noishe

**Not much happens in this chapter. Sorry. But they could use a bit of break, at least in my opinion :) Once again, if you're sticking with this story, if you're reading all the way through, I love you. Hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy the writing. **

**Right, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Tales of Symphonia, it would be much easier to understand the title. **

Contrary to what Kratos had told Anna, he feared that she could not settle anywhere. Sylvarant was no longer safe for her, now that he knew that Kvar was on her track. She clearly could not know that he was a Grand Cardinal, or else she would have known how unusual it was for Kvar to personally supervise any kind of experiment. The exsphere she bore must mean a great deal to him.

With distaste, Kratos cast his mind back to the various reports Cruxis had received from Asgard. He had always read those, simply because of his connection with Asgard. More than ever now he loathed himself for that. He tried to remember what the reports had said about Asgard's research on exspheres.

Many humans had died in the preliminary operation, in which a crystal was implanted in the body of the victim. One or two people had survived, but the exsphere had not "been activated", and the hosts had eventually died. As far as he could guess, that meant that the exsphere was unable to develop on the victims. Was the exsphere developing now? Anna did not seem to be affected mentally. Nor did she seem to be ill, nor was she losing strength. Indeed, she seemed only to have grown stronger, though that was not surprising; even the life of a fugitive was better than that of a captive in the human ranch.

Then he remembered when he had begun to teach her to use his sword. She had barely been able to lift it. But her progress had been astonishing. She could not use it expertly, but she had learned enough to survive, and was still improving. Could that rapid improvement be due to her exsphere? The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that the exsphere had indeed found its host in Anna. Even her hunting skills were a testament to the increasing power of her senses.

Kratos drove his hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he rarely allowed himself. What had he hoped to accomplish by coming down? Had he truly done anything to help Anna, or had he made her situation worse?

The scent of burning wood carried on every breeze. But the trees around Kratos and Anna were still intact, and their leaves rustled. The moonlight gleamed upon every leaf and twig. After a while Kratos felt calmer. But the problem of Kvar loomed more than ever in his mind.

A stealthy sound came from the woods to his left. He stood and drew his sword. A large white shadow moved out of the trees and came up to him. With shock, he recognized Noishe. Kratos had not seen the protozoan in nearly a hundred years. With a smile he sheathed his sword. "Have you come just to make my life even harder?" he asked.

Noishe's eyes glinted, as though he were smiling. Kratos put his hand on the creature's head. "Noishe, what have I done?" he asked quietly. "I came down with nothing but a rather weak resolution to stand against Mithos. My will is stronger now, but only because of that girl, Anna." He gestured to her. "Being with her, I realize how twisted Mithos has become, and what a fool I was for believing his promises. Yet I have done almost nothing for her. I have swept away every chance she could have had for a normal life. From the moment I stepped into her cell, I have brought her nothing but sorrow."

"What is that?" Anna's voice, sounding sleepy and astonished, floated through the dark. "That- that cannot be a dog. I do remember what they looked like."

Embarrassed, wondering how much she had heard, Kratos kept his eyes on Noishe. "He is something called a protozoan. He is a very ancient being."

"How long have you known him?"

"Many centuries. He is intelligent, in that he can understand us. Communicating with him, though is sometimes, difficult."

Anna looked at Noishe. "Can he speak?"

"No."

She came beside Kratos, who stood up. With one hand, she reached out to Noishe, who put his head to her hand. Kratos could not see her clearly, since her dark hair fell around her face. He wanted to brush it back, restrained himself, and then realized that he was had been staring at her for some time. Noishe seemed to have noticed, for he gave Kratos a look that radiated amusement.

"It's a shame you can't talk," said Anna to the protozoan, laughter ringing through her voice. "I'm sure you know Kratos well enough to give me tips on how to explain something that should be obvious to him. I wish you could tell me how to convince him that, contrary to what he seems to think, life as a fugitive with him is, in fact, better than life in Asgard."

Kratos noticed, as if for the first time, her wide smile, the large eyes that sparkled so warmly. For the first time he thought of her as beautiful. He gazed at her for some time, then roused himself to speak. "You may not think so once you have had years of my company," he observed drily. "I cannot leave you to be hunted down by Kvar, even if Yggdrasill assumes we have died. Kvar is not someone to give up on an exsphere so important to him that he supervised procedures on its human host."

She tilted her head. "Wouldn't he be forced to give up if the head of Cruxis assumes we have died?"

"I don't know. But all Kvar may hear is that I have been eliminated. I think that that lightning blast was meant for me, rather than for you, and all Yggdrasill may tell him is that he need no longer concern himself with Kratos Aurion. Especially since I think Yggdrasill sent those four Desians without Kvar's knowledge. Kvar may not know we were travelling together, and if that is the case, he would have no reason to assume you dead."

Anna looked into the distance, her hand still on Noishe's head. "Kratos…do you truly think that you have done nothing to help me?"

Her words startled Kratos because that was exactly what he feared. "I do not know. All I seem to have done is lead you into danger." It was the only answer he had.

Anna turned from Noishe, and stared hard at Kratos. "I do not know what would have happened to me if I had stayed in Asgard, but I cannot think it would have ended well. I've never said truer words when I say that I have never been so contented, nor have I ever felt so safe. I have freedom now, which I would never have had without you."

"How can you feel safe or free? We are pursued by one, if not two, very cruel and powerful entities."

Anna laughed out loud. "Have you seen a functioning human ranch?"

Kratos felt ashamed. "Not in many years," he said quietly. "But I think I know what you are saying."

"So don't blame yourself. If you know what I am saying, you know that I see you as my rescuer. And," she continued, smiling, "if anything, I am the one bringing you into danger now, with the possibility of Kvar on my track. So at this point you could shift the blame to me."

In disbelief, Kratos smiled back at her. "I suppose then, that your brush with Yggdrasill was simply a minor distraction? You would not have had to expose yourself like that had you been on your own."

"If I had been on my own, I would not have been free to go into such danger."

"Do you want to have that particular freedom for the rest of your life?"

Anna grinned mischievously. "Of course I do. It's still a freedom, one I confess I rather enjoy. Can we assume that Yggdrasill is no longer tracking us? Because if we can…what is Noishe doing?"

The protozoan had begun to jerk his head up and down. Kratos turned to Noishe. "Do you mean Mithos is not hunting us?" The creature nodded again.

Kratos exchanged looks with Anna. "Do you mean that he is not hunting us?" he repeated. "Has he just dismissed us from his mind? Or does he believe we are dead?"

The protozoan nodded emphatically.

Kratos turned to Anna, feeling relieved. She looked skeptical. "Would he…?"

"You can trust him, Anna."

She nodded. "I hope I didn't offend you…Noishe," she addressed the creature. The protozoan parted his lips and wagged his tail. "He looks as though he is laughing," she said, grinning.

"He probably is."

After a short time, Noishe turned away and walked into the trees. Kratos and Anna watched his figure disappear among the trees. "Does he always come and go like that?" she asked.

"He does. But he'll come back. I don't know when, but I think we will see him again, whenever he thinks we need him."

"Now that we know that Yggdrasill is not on our trail, what should we do?"

"First we should get supplies. We could probably go to Luin for that. I know you are tired, but can you start now? We are about a day's journey from Luin, and it will help if we can arrive sometime tomorrow in the afternoon when the city is crowded and busy."

"I can go on for a while," she said. "I would like to see Luin anyway; I should see if I have family there so I can tell them I am alive, at least."

Kratos hesitated, then held out his hand to her. It was a gesture he had not used since the night they had fled Asgard, and he was unsure how she would respond.

She looked surprised, but smiled and took his hand. "Shall we go?" she asked. He nodded, and together they set out.


	9. Shadows of the past and future

**I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided to label all my story chapters with Roman numerals. It makes it impossible to figure out which chapter is which when I'm trying to upload. Anyway, here's _Chapter 9_. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. **

The first thing Anna noticed in Luin was color. Every building seemed to have at least three different hues, one for doors, another for rooftops, and still another for the walls. The second thing she noticed was that the people who kept shops called to everyone who passed, inviting them in to see clothes, jewelry, shoes, leatherwork, almost anything imaginable. Many of the shopkeepers addressed passerby by name: "Damien! Have you bothered to look at the wheels on your cart? The spokes are rotting! Come and see the wheels that I have in stock, made from strong wood here! No? Well, I hope you come in soon, before that cart collapses on you. Good day to you!"

As she looked around, Anna thought she could recognize some of the smaller streets. She must have lived close to these roads. If she strained her memory, she thought she could remember the fountain on which she sat. But she might have been deceiving herself, she admitted. She did remember what her house had looked like, and decided that after Kratos had purchased the supplies he wanted, she would try to find it.

She sat down on the edge of the fountain. Kratos had already bought her the only thing she wanted, which was a small dagger. Most of the shops were around the fountain, and there were crowds of people milling about, talking, laughing, and sometimes arguing. But what entranced her most was the music. Pipe players, fiddle players, and singers were scattered among the place, all surrounded by crowds who danced, clapped, or sang along. Anna had never imagined people could be so joyous.

One piper close by was playing a melody that Anna wished she could keep in her head forever. Several people were dancing to it. Their movements were quick and graceful. She wished she knew the dance, but it was far too complex to remember. Instead she concentrated on the music. She had never heard anything so beautiful. There was something about it that reminded her of the woods at night, with the wind whipping through the leaves. It was strange to hear something so eerie and enchanting in the afternoon light.

After a long time she became aware that a little girl, perhaps four or five years old, was standing beside her on the fountain wall. She wore a red dress, and had long chestnut hair, which she had to push out of her bright green eyes. She was looking anxiously out over the crowd. When she saw Anna looking at her, the child gave a shy smile and actually raised her hand in a little wave. Anna smiled back. "Are you looking for someone?" she asked the girl.

"My brother," answered the girl. "He promised he would take me to one of the food-stands. But he's late. What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for a friend," said Anna. "What is your brother doing?"

"He's learning how to be a healer, but he has to work for the meanest man in Luin. That's what my mom says. But he doesn't really mind, I don't think. He told me once that even the meanest people aren't as mean as they look."

The girl stopped abruptly and scanned the crowd again. After a while she sat down beside Anna. "I love my brother a lot," she continued, as suddenly as she had stopped. "He's always nice to me. If I ask him for help, he'll help. He always plays with me, even when he's tired. Oh!" She gave a little shriek. "There he is. LLOYD!" she bellowed. Without a second glance at Anna, she sprinted off into the crowd. Anna stood up and saw her run to a tall sandy-haired boy who looked about twelve. The girl gave him a hug around the legs and asked him something. The boy did look tired, but he laughed, and swung the girl up onto his shoulders. He turned away, and the two disappeared into the crowd.

Anna smiled. She had never, as far as she could remember, had a brother or sister, but she could vaguely remember a woman who might or might not have been her mother. For the first time in many years, she thought about the day of her capture.

She had been a rebellious child, as she could now tell. The woman, who had been a soft-spoken person, had taken her out into the woods, as a celebration for Anna's sixth birthday, the date of which she could not remember. But she did remember how the woman had said quietly, "Stay close, Anna!" And she remembered how, as soon as the woman's back had turned, she had gone running into the woods, hoping to be chased. As she had run through the woods, she had been seen by two Desians. She had not even been aware of them until they had seized her. Without a word they had dragged her to Asgard.

"Anna." Kratos' voice called her out of her reverie. He was standing beside her, with two packs in his hands. She took one, noting with amusement that he was wearing a battered brown coat, not the dark blue one he had been wearing for the past two weeks. It did not do much to change his appearance. "Are you ready to leave now?" he asked.

"If there is time, could we go down those streets, over to the right?" She gestured across the fountain area. "I think I recognize them; at least they look familiar. I'm hoping my old home could be on one of them. I should visit it, if it is there." She paused, then, unable to resist, added, "Your old coat was in much better shape, by the way. What did you do with it?"

Kratos gave her a half-smile. "It's in the pack you're carrying."

Anna stared at him, then laughed. "Oh, really? Well since I'm carrying your things, I think it would be a fair bargain to let me look for my house. Do you agree?" She held out a hand to him, as she had seen many of the shopkeepers do after they had made a sale.

He shook it, and, for a brief second, smiled in such a way that she felt rather shy. The look was gone almost as soon as she noticed it. Kratos turned away and squinted at the streets across the fountain area. "Do you know on which street you lived?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not," she answered. "I do know that I have seen those streets," she gestured to three streets with small, cheerful-looking houses, "before. I thought perhaps we could walk down them, just to see if the house is there."

As they walked across the square, Anna realized that she was remembering more of the city than she had thought possible. She had come on shopping trips with the woman, and she was almost sure that there had been a vegetable stand where a blacksmith's shop now stood. There would be a bakery right next to that place- and there was. She shook her head, amazed that there had been a time when she could not even remember sunlight and rain, and inwardly rejoiced that she was free from Asgard.

They came to the end of the first street, where the road intersected with another. None of the houses struck a chord of recognition. Kratos stopped and looked at her. "Shall we turn and go back to the next road?"

She shrugged. "I guess so…wait." In turning to face him, she had seen a small house that was on the far side of the intersecting road. The frame of the house was the same as the one she remembered, though it was now white rather than blue.

Kratos turned to follow her eyes. "Do you think that is it?" he asked.

"It may be."

She walked forward slowly, trying to remember. The house was much newer-looking than the image in her mind, but she supposed it was not out of the question that improvements had been made. Then she saw the front, and was sure. There was a gate, the style of which she remembered; it consisted of two metal spirals that met to form the two halves.

Surprised at how frightened she felt, she and Kratos walked across the road to the gate. She entered, while Kratos waited on the sidewalk. With an effort, she rapped on the spotlessly white door.

It opened to reveal a large old woman, whose face was covered with smile wrinkles. Her bright blue eyes twinkled in a perplexed manner at Anna. "I don't think I've seen you before, have I, love?" she asked. Her voice was somehow both rasping and jovial.

Anna realized that she had been holding her breath. "No!" she almost gasped. "No, I don't think we've met. I'm here because I think I used to live here thirteen or fourteen years ago. Would…"

The old woman shook her head. "Dear, that's impossible. I bought this house thirteen years ago when I came here with my husband. We were both from Palmacosta and so we didn't know when we took this house- it was empty, when we got it, so I don't think you could have lived here at that time- we didn't know that the woman who lived here before killed herself, and she was all alone."

Anna had not expected that. "Killed herself?" she repeated blankly. "But why?"

"Well, from what we could tell by asking, the woman partially lost her mind when her husband died. She had a daughter, who disappeared a year or so after the husband died. Everyone said she'd killed the child in a fit of madness, but they could never prove it. Of course, no one told us that till after we'd bought the house. Well! It's a nice thing when you find that your house was the home of a mad murderess. But I think my man and I- he died a few years back- made it a decent place."

Anna nodded. She had no idea how to respond to this. Finally she found her voice. "I'm sorry you lost your husband."

The woman nodded. "Ah, well, so am I. He was a good man, and I still miss him each day. But he always liked this house, and I grew to like it too, even though it had a bad history. So, if you two," she raised her voice to include Kratos, who was standing outside the gate with an impassive face, "are planning on settling down, make sure you ask around! Who knows what they'll try to push on you, here!"

Anna could not restrain a burst of laughter at this. "We are not," she gasped, "planning on that. We're leaving soon. But I would like to reassure you. Whatever the woman who lived here was, she was no murderess. I was her child."

The woman stared at her. Then she clapped a hand to her mouth. "I should have known! I found a portrait of the husband and wife in the attic when we were cleaning, when we first came! You have the eyes and face of your father, but your mother's hair and build. I never kept the portrait, but oh, I should have noticed. Oh, child, I'm so sorry, I never should have said the things I did about your mother, but I…I did not know!"

Touched, Anna took her hands. "I don't…I'm not angry," she said soothingly. "Truly, I'm glad you told me, it was better that I know. Thank you for your help." She hesitated, then said good-bye shyly, and rejoined Kratos, Together they left the city.


	10. A Good Beginning

**Ok, sorry I didn't respond to the reviews for Ch. 8! When I posted Ch. 9, I was going through a major panic attack about the quality of the story, and I was seriously contemplating yanking the whole thing. I'm out of that mode now, which is why I owe everyone a huge thank-you for the reviews for Ch. 9. They made me feel much better.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Um, yeah, the lake completely slipped my mind. I have no excuse on that one. I swear I am trying to make the description better. It's hard, but I am working on it. **

**Moonlight M3lody: Thanks so much for reading! I'm trying to be as accurate as I can. The main reason I wrote is that there is no real detail on their story and I wanted to supply it. By the way, I had no idea my anonymous review functon was disabled; I would never have caught that if you hadn't told me. Thank you so much for the good-luck wish; I need it for both :)**

**CommodoreZelda13: Yes...I struggled with the ending of that chapter. I couldn't come up with anything to conclude that wasn't ridiculously wordy, so I just went with it as it was. **

**By the way, if anyone is reading and has been trying to submit a review anonymously, I'm so sorry. Please write away! I love feedback!**

**Last item of importance: my updates are not going to be as frequent as they have been. I leave for college next week, and this week is going to insane getting ready. I am not going to abandon the story, far from it, but it just won't be updated every other day anymore. Plus, I finally have caught up with myself, in terms of my writing. Working on Ch. 11 now...ok, enough talking. On to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.**

Kratos stole glances at Anna as they traveled away from Luin. She looked shaken by what had been revealed, but not grief-stricken. Her years in the human ranch had no doubt dulled her memories, and probably blunted the pain she felt. But he was certain that she did feel sorrow. As if she did not have enough, he thought.

After the road left the lake, the forest sprang up again. The trees were thicker in the trunk than they had been near Asgard, and were much taller. The forest and road were shadowy and somewhat oppressive, in spite of a chilly breeze that made all the leaves and branches rattle.

When darkness fell, they made their camp far to the right of the road, behind a large oak tree. Silently Anna began to construct a fire. Kratos brought out some of the food he had bought in Luin. It took Anna a few tries, but she was able to make a small blaze some distance away from the tree. After she had done this, she sat staring into the flames, turning a loose stick over in her hands.

This silence was uncharacteristic for Anna. In the weeks after their escape from Asgard, she had often asked Kratos questions varying from sword technique to the customs of the people in Sylvarant. He had answered them to the best of his ability, though he did not know enough to satisfy her curiosity. But now, as he gazed at her tense face, he wished that she would tell him what she was thinking. She could always sense when he was most troubled, and her words always lightened his heart without making light of his fears. But he was not so sure he could do the same for her.

Finally he spoke, and he felt as though he were taking a first step down an unfamiliar path. "Do you grieve very much over what you found out about your mother?"

"Not as much I believe I should," she answered slowly. "I pity her deeply, for her life sounds tragic, and I wish with all my heart that she could have had better fortune. But what troubles me is that I do not feel any deeper sorrow. I would feel this way for anyone whose life ended so sadly. But even though she was my mother, even though she brought me into being, I cannot feel anything stronger."

"What you feel sounds strong enough to me," said Kratos, after a long pause. "You did not ever get the chance to know her, to bond with her as a mother and child normally would."

"That is true." She set down the stick and clasped her hands around her knees. "Do you remember your own family?"

Kratos sat down on the other side of the fire. "Yes, but the memories of them are not pleasant. My parents were both aristocrats, and my father was a distant man, who never had much time to spare for my mother or myself. My mother never thought much about either of us; the marriage was an arranged one, and she did not concern herself in maintaining a happy household, once she had given my father an heir. When I became friends with a half-elf named Yuan, my parents and I became more alienated."

Anna stirred. "Why?" she asked quietly. "Had you suffered at the hands of half-elves?"

Kratos stared at her, but then remembered that in Sylvarant the Desians were feared, rather than enslaved. "No. At that time, Anna, half-elves were regarded as inferior beings. Indeed, they still are in Tethe'alla, which was the country from which I came. My parents could not understand how I could become almost like a brother with a member of the 'inferior race'. We became even more estranged when Yuan introduced me to Mithos and Martel. When I joined Mithos, Martel, and Yuan, in their attempts to end the war that was raging between Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, my family disowned me entirely. From that point, Mithos, Martel, and Yuan took their place.

"I should have realized when Martel died and Mithos began a church in her honor that something was wrong, but he had- and still has a great capacity to persuade. When he split the world in two, he begged Yuan and me to assist him. And we agreed. From that point I stayed at his side, doing whatever he said was necessary to make all races equal."

Kratos paused. He had heard a faint sound on the road. A lone traveler was walking home, slowly, and unevenly. Kratos tensed, then heard a faint singing. He relaxed, for there was no need to fear a drunkard staggering home.

Anna had turned to the road when the singing began, and had clearly reached the same conclusion. "I don't think he's in any shape to do anything," she whispered, with a faint grin. "Will you go on?"

Kratos folded his hands, and rested his forehead on them. "I did not begin to oppose him openly for a long time; mostly because I did not wish to. I tried, from time to time to convince him that he should begin to reunite the worlds. Many times he told me that he was preparing the way, but I could not believe him. Then, a little more than two weeks ago, I finally asked him if he had any intention of fulfilling Martel's request. Infuriated that I would question his devotion to the dying wish of his sister, he told me that the Desians were preparing the exspheres so that eventually all creatures would lose their own nature and become lifeless beings that would simply endure, neither growing or dying."

Anna gasped, "But that's horrible! Not only because of what the Desians are doing to get the exspheres to develop- though that's bad enough, for no end should be reached by such evil- but because it assumes that every human, elf, and half-elf is… inadequate in who they are. It doesn't even solve the problem that he's trying to fix!"

"I know. That was when I realized that I was no longer dealing with the friend I once knew, but rather a madman with incredible power. I had to admit, too, that I had helped give him this power. So I descended upon Sylvarant, hoping to find some way to bring about his downfall."

Anna said nothing. She bent her head and stared at the fire for a long time. Kratos felt as though he could not bear the silence anymore. Finally he broke it. "Do you despise me for my past?"

Anna raised her head swiftly. "If I did, I would not be here. If I truly despised you, I would be travelling alone. You have not told anything that I did not know already, save some details. Why can you not move on?"

"Because what I have done- or perhaps not done is the better phrase- is evil, and it haunts me still. How can I possibly set aside the wrongs of which I am guilty?"

"Kratos, you must learn to forgive yourself, because this self-hatred is blinding you to the present. What's done cannot be undone, and acknowledging that is not shoving aside your guilt!" There was clear frustration in her voice now.

Kratos struck his hand on the ground. Could she possibly understand the loathing he felt for himself each day, whenever he thought about his inaction? "You know nothing of the guilt I feel. Do not speak to me about shoving aside my guilt when it looks me in the face every time I see you sleeping on the ground, when I have to think that it is because of me that you are hunted by one of the cruelest beings to ever set foot on Sylvarant-"

Anna jumped to her feet. "Must I beat it into your head that being hunted by Kvar is an improvement over being tormented by him in Asgard?"

Kratos stood to face her. "You would not be the danger you are from him, if not for me. You would not have been dragged to the human ranch as a child had it not been for my spinelessness!"

"You are so caught up in what would have happened that you cannot see what is happening! I am not in Asgard, I am free from that hideous life because of you, because you finally did act! You seem to have forgotten that detail; that you did decide to defy Mithos." She rubbed her arms. Her voice was softer as she continued, "I wish I had thought of Ian when you appeared in that cell; indeed I wish I had done more when I was in Asgard to defy Kvar and the rest of them. I wish that I had been stronger. But hating myself for my weakness will not make me stronger nor will it improve our present condition."

"But what we do in the past will inevitably shape the present. That is mainly why I cannot forgive myself, or let go of what I have allowed."

Anna sighed, sounding exasperated. "You really cannot let go…?" Her voice trailed off. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger and somehow gentler. "If you truly cannot let go, then learn from your past. And look to your future. What we do in the past does indeed shape the present, but how we choose to act in the present is our own choice. How can I say this…There are few paths that one cannot choose to leave. Even if it's impossible to retrace our footsteps, we can still find another way to get to our destination."

Kratos said nothing, letting her words sink in. Perhaps she was right. No, there was no perhaps. She was.

"I don't know if I can set my feelings right overnight," he said finally. "But I promise I will try."

Anna nodded. Kratos saw her smile faintly, but it was to herself, and there was no mockery in it. Finally she asked, "You said that you were close to Yuan. Did he ever feel the same way as you about… Mithos's plan?"

"He became distant after Martel's death. Our friendship cooled after she died, and we never regained it."

Again she nodded. Kratos wondered again what was going through her mind. Then he recalled his own thoughts, how he had wished she would confide in him. He looked at her. What had gone through her head when he had appeared so suddenly in her cell? After the Desians had entered, he had known that she most likely would choose to leave. If she did not have Kvar on her trail, how would she choose to live? Hesitantly he asked her the question.

Anna furrowed her brow. "I think I would try to find a small house, like the house of that farmer who helped us immediately after Asgard. If I could, I think I would just...live. It would be peaceful, and I," she looked at the ground and continued shyly, "could maybe learn how to dance and sing, and perhaps play an instrument."

"The pipes, perhaps?" asked Kratos with a smile.

She looked up. "Yes. You probably heard the music in Luin; I would love to be able to do what that pipe player did."

Kratos nodded, then remembered the girl who had run away from Anna just as he come up. "Who was the child you talking to at the fountain?"

"I don't know. All she spoke of was her brother and how much she loved him. It was very charming. Her brother was kind to her when she came, I noticed that." She fingered the bark of the tree, exploring its wrinkled surface with her fingers. Their angry words seemed to have been set aside by some unspoken consent.

Kratos began to think on what their next step should be. The greatest danger to Anna was Kvar- but her exsphere was the more immediate peril. Though the thing did not seem to be harming her yet, he did not want to wait to find out if it would. She would need a key crest, but only dwarves could make them well. As far as he knew, there was only one place in Sylvarant where dwarves dwelt: in the mountains near Iselia. He spoke, and his voice made Anna jump.

"We ought to take care of your exsphere, make sure that it cannot alter you. It does not seem to be harming you now, but as it grows, it may affect you more. The way to make sure that it will not is to equip it with a key crest."

"What is a key crest?"

"A certain metal engraved with a charm in which the exsphere is mounted. But it needs to be crafted by a dwarf, and there is only one place in Sylvarant I know where dwarves are. It is quite a journey."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "How long?"

"Since we will be travelling mostly by foot, at least a month. Perhaps longer, depending on if we have to avoid certain towns because of the Desians."

"And then what?"

Suddenly Kratos knew what was to be done. "We find a way to reunite the split worlds."

Anna's face radiated joy. "I'm impressed," she said lightly. "For someone who could not turn his feelings around in a night, this seems like a good beginning."

He smiled back at her. "I only said I was not sure if I could. It seems I was wrong."

She leaned back against the tree. "I'm glad of that." She paused, then continued rather quickly, "Thank you, by the way."

Kratos sat down and looked up at her. "For what?"

"Saying 'we'."


	11. A Fugitive from Asgard

**Ok, we have a new chapter. I've been really busy these past few weeks, but I am still working on this story. This chapter went through more rewrites than I can count, but I like the end result. I hope you do too!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Keep reading! All I have to say for the whole timeline thing!**

**Moolight M3lody: Sorry about the mistakes! I did check, but I was probably half-asleep at the time. I'm sorry that it was that bad. I'm glad my story clicks with the canon; I'm trying as hard as I can to be accurate. I'll have to check out that Tales of Fandom thing; I think I would enjoy that. **

**To everyone who didn't review, but who has added my story to their alert subscription, and who added me as favorite author, huge thanks! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me feel when I see those emails. Thanks so much for reading! I hope you stay with it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. **

Anna did not like the way the sailors stared at her as she and Kratos walked down the gangway. She met their eyes. One of them, a large man with a grey beard, dropped his gaze, but his companion, a blond weather-beaten man continued to watch her. Disturbed, she turned her face to the shore. A huge cliff rose from the white sand. White birds flew up and down the rock face, shrieking in eerie harmony with the wind. The waves that washed upon the beach were dark grey, reflecting the grim sky.

This beach was the most dismal place Anna could remember seeing in their travels. The voyage across the sea had taken almost two weeks, due to rough weather. It had been almost a month and a half since Anna and Kratos had fled Asgard. They had avoided towns unless they needed supplies. Wanted posters, with a sketch and a description of Anna had been plastered throughout the villages they passed. When they reached the sea, hiring a vessel to take them to the other continent had been difficult, and they had had to resort to shifty sailors who asked almost no questions. Anna wished with all her might that more honest people had been willing to make the voyage.

Kratos seemed to feel the same way. He led her south down the beach. She knew they would be going north eventually, but could tell he was hoping to deceive the sailors. He led her up a path that straggled up the side of the cliff. More than once she slipped on loose stones.

As soon as they reached the cliff top, they found a trail that looked as though no one had set foot on it in decades. The path twisted away from the cliff's edge to the north. To the south it followed along the edge of the cliff. Kratos and Anna walked in this direction for a short time, then left the path and retraced their steps, heading north.

The trail was not easy to follow, since it cut its way along the edge of a mountain range. It rose and fell, twisted and turned. Anna was already weak from the voyage, during which she had been horribly seasick. A cold wind blew in from the sea. She folded her arms to keep them warm, and walked after her companion, who was striding ahead of her at the same pace he had when they first began. Irregular boulders surrounded both sides of the path, hiding the sea which lay to their right. A wave of dizziness came so suddenly upon her that she stopped, leaning against a rock to steady herself.

Kratos turned around, still far ahead of her. "What's wrong?" he called back, raising his voice over the wind.

"I just felt lightheaded, for a little. I'm all right." She straightened up. As she did so, she sensed a faint movement behind her. Kratos shouted her name. A harsh voice rang out: "Stop! Stay where you are or the girl dies."

Anna spun around. The two men from the ship were standing a few yards behind her. Both had arrows pointed at her. They must have hidden in the boulders on either side of the path, though she had no idea how they had made it to the area before she and Kratos had. Furious, she clenched her hands. Kratos was twice as far from her as the two men, and though she was proficient with her dagger, she could not possibly throw it faster than two arrows.

Keeping their arrows strung, the men advanced on her. Once they were right behind her, the bearded man slackened his bow and brought out rope. He bound Anna's hands tightly behind her back. The other man kept his arrow aimed at her neck, and watched Kratos narrowly. He was standing rigid, his sword half-drawn, looking more enraged than Anna had ever seen him. "What are you going to do with her?" he called.

The man who had bound Anna's hands restrung his arrow, and addressed Kratos. "You don't know much about your…companion, do you?" Anna flushed at the tone in which he said 'companion'. The sailor continued, "She's a wanted fugitive from the Asgard human ranch. The grand cardinal there's offering a huge reward for her safe return. I don't know what she told you to convince you to take her. She must be more persuasive than she looks."

"No need to be insulting," Anna snapped. "He didn't know anything. Just let him go. He's just a traveler, who I found useful. Let him alone."

"I don't think we will," the other sailor said dispassionately. "He looks disposed to fight for you, and if you tell us to leave him alone, he'll probably make trouble for us later." Without warning he shifted his stance and shot Kratos in the chest.

Anna bit back a scream. She lunged for the bearded man, trying to knock him down, do anything to make him drop his bow. He sidestepped her easily and threw her to the ground. His bowstring twanged. Meanwhile his companion stooped and struck her on the side of the head with a rock. Anna struggled against the dark, but only stayed conscious long enough to hear another bowstring snap.

She came to herself on a surface that somehow was both hard and yielding to the touch. The ground was grainy, and parts of it stuck to her face. Slowly she realized that she was lying on the beach. The sand was sticking to blood that had run down one side of her face. Her temple was throbbing from the impact of the rock. A strong heat was at her back. From the crackling, she guessed it was a fire. Dusk was falling. She could not see or hear the sailors. She was facing the cliff, and it did not look like the place where the boat had originally docked. The sailors must have sailed north, then scaled the cliff to lay their ambush.

"Are you sure the Desians won't care that we shot the man?"

The voice made her jump. It came behind her, from the other side of the fire. The faint answer came from a greater distance, down by the water: "I doubt it. He was probably just a lover she picked up to make her running easier. In any case, I feel safer with him dead than I would if we'd tried to capture him. Did you see his sword? And he looked ready to use it."

Tears fell down her cheeks. Was she cursed to bring misfortune on everyone who knew her? How could she have done this to Kratos? He had always helped her by his calm, by his patience. Whenever they had been in danger, something about his presence helped her to stay alert and even confident. What it was she could not say, but something about him had helped her stay hopeful. Despite the danger she had been to him, he had not abandoned her. And now it was because of her that he was dead.

Or was he? Anna forced herself to think. She had seen the first arrow strike him, but it had not been in the region of the heart. The hit had been lower, and on the right side of the body. The second and third arrows she had not seen. But the first one would not be fatal. Even with the other wounds, he might survive. He had healing abilities, but did that mean that he could heal himself?

The sailor on the other side of the fire seemed to be arguing with his companion who was by the ship. She heard him shout to his companion, "Send the message, damn it! Those bastards are tricky enough as it is. Let them come and claim their own experiment, if it means so much to them." There was a pause, then the man called down. "I don't care. They'll hurry if they know we have the girl. You know we need money, get that bird on its way!" There was a faint expostulation from down by the boat. Anna heard the man get up and run down to the vessel. She heard his footsteps thump on the gangway.

Anna's back was to the fire, and the heat licked her hands. She clenched her teeth, took a deep breath, and put her wrists into the fire. Her flesh began to burn. So did the ropes. When she could not bear any more, she lifted her hands out, and strained them apart. But the rope was tough. Her eyes watered, and she plunged her hands into the flame again. This time she could actually smell and hear her skin flaming. But the ropes suddenly came apart. Gasping in pain, she rolled over and looked for the sailors. They both were on the deck of the ship. The bearded one was the one who had been shouting from the fire, she could hear his voice yelling at the other. She turned back to the cliffs. At one point, there seemed to be a footpath of sorts. The sailors must have come that way.

She took one cautious glance at the ship, and ran with all her might for the path. Once she reached the cliff base, she stopped and looked back. The sailors had not noticed anything. She raced up as quickly and as quietly as she could. The path was choked with bushes which made complete silence impossible. Several times her burned wrists were cut, and it was all she could do not to scream when a thorny branch slapped directly in one of the raw patches.

Once she reached the top, she recognized the cliff trail; she and Kratos had been ambushed a few miles ahead of this point. She sprinted down it. She did not care anymore if the sailors heard her. All she wanted to know was what had happened to Kratos. If he had died- Anna choked off that thought, clinging to the faint hope that his healing powers would help him through.

She ran almost a mile. Then she saw a figure standing, leaning against a rock. Even though it was dark, she recognized Kratos. Overjoyed, she ran to him, slowing down as he raised his head. "It's me," she called. "Kratos, how badly are you-" She reached him, and gasped. Bloodstains trailed down his shirt. His breathing was shallow. "How long did you walk like this?" she demanded.

"I'm not sure; from wherever we were attacked." He swayed.

Anna grabbed his arms to support him. "Sit down," she ordered. He obeyed, and she knelt in front of him. "I said 'how long', not 'how far'. What were you thinking? I know you have healing abilities, but you were shot three times!"

"Four," he cut in gently.

Anna stared open-mouthed. "What were you thinking?" she repeated, more softly. Gingerly, she drew apart the torn cloth of his shirt. The edges of the wound were ragged. "Did you yank the arrows out? Are you insane?"

"Well, I will heal, at least. It will take a little while, but I will mend."

"You didn't help yourself by going however many miles it is from here to there! I…" Anna buried her face in her hands. After a while she raised her head. "I'm so sorry I brought this on you," she said. "When the sailors said they had killed you, I was… Kratos, are you sure you want me to stay with you? This attack- I could go on by myself. You could look for the way to reunite the world without me…" She stopped, and stared at him. "Are you- why are you laughing? I meant what I said!"

He looked at her and smiled. That in itself was enough to draw a smile from her, though she tried to fight it. "I know you were serious," he said. "Why else would I be laughing at you? What makes you think I would leave you to find your way alone to Iselia, especially after an attack like that?"

"The fact that you were severely wounded, which you would not have been without me!"

Kratos leaned his head back against the rock. "If I made a comment like that, you would tell me- indeed you have told me- that you would be in a worse position without me. I can turn that on you now. Anna, I probably would have been killed by Yggdrasill twice over, if not for you. Not to mention that you helped show me that I can go on from what I have done in the past."

Anna shook her head. "You did that, you came to that realization. You were able to make that choice, you finished what you began by leaving Yggdrasill; I had nothing to do with that."

Kratos laughed again, "I would never have been able to, if you had not been with me. You have a joy that helps me see more clearly. That is no small thing to me, Anna. For over four thousand years, I dulled everything about myself, most notably my sense of right and wrong. You woke that sense, Anna. I wish that I could take credit for that, but without you it would not have happened."

Anna opened her mouth, then closed it. For once, she had no idea what to say to him. She felt intensely shy and somehow frightened that she meant this much to him. But she was aware that she was happy, very happy that somehow she was more to him than a danger and a burden. "I'm glad I helped," she finally said, unable to hold down an overjoyed smile. She felt embarrassed to meet his eyes, but forced herself to do so. There was a silence.

At last Kratos looked away. "We should probably go on," he said. "Those sailors will be looking for you, if they haven't discovered your absence by now." He tried to stand up, and nearly fell down. Anna was barely able to catch him. He put his hands on her shoulders to brace himself, and in doing so pulled back her sleeves. She drew in her breath as the cloth caught on her burns. He heard her, and looked down. "Anna, what happened to your hands?"

She grinned. "Fire. It was the only way I could get rid of the rope."

He took her wrist in both his hands. Anna felt the beginnings of a healing spell, and yanked her hand away. "No-don't, please. Save it for your own injuries. I'll be all right. And by the way, we are not going anywhere tonight, not until your wounds are better. We can stay behind these rocks for tonight."

Kratos looked resigned. "Very well, but we start tomorrow."

"We start when you're better. If that's tomorrow, fine, but as long you're hurt, we stay here."

He gave her a half-smile. "As you wish."

Once again Anna felt shy; though this time she had no real reason. She helped him to a small hollow where three large stones hid them from the pathway. Kratos sat down with his back to the largest rock. Anna lay down, gingerly placing her hands beside her on a smooth rock. She felt exhausted. "If you hear the men coming, please wake me up before trying to go after them," she whispered sleepily. "Good night, Kratos." Her eyes closed.

She felt him lay his hands on her throbbing wrists. A few words, and the burning sensation faded. Even though she was on the edge of sleep, she smiled. "Didn't I ask you not to do that?"

She heard him laugh very softly. "Good night, Anna."


	12. Flight

**I'm so sorry about how long it's been since I've updated. I really am. College is busy, who knew? Anyway, I hope you haven't lost patience with me altogether. I am still working on this, I promise!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: He's getting there, yeah. I really hope he's staying in character, but he is starting to loosen up... **

**AndieArmstrong: Hurray, thank you! I'm trying to keep it up, I swear. Just keep reading, it makes me happy.**

**andy: as regards Kratos's getting hurt- I really wasn't sure. I know he's got the angelic powers, but he's not going to risk letting Anna get hurt, and even though he stopped aging, I couldn't find any evidence that he was invulnerable or anything like that. But the injury was a bit of an educated artistic license (is there such a thing?) , I'll definitely admit that. Thank you so much for reading, readers make this worthwhile!**

**CommodoreZelda13: It is coming, I swear it's coming. Bear with me, keep with it, I know we're all dying to see them get together (well, I know I am). **

**Enjoy, and once again, sorry for the late update!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Tales of Symphonia, because then I'd have the rights to make it a full-length, big time movie. Sadly, though, I do not...**

The sun rose, sending golden rays groping out over the water. Kratos watched the waves come to life, as they sent the sunlight flying back into the sky, sparkling and flashing. He stood and looked down at Anna. She was deep asleep. Her face, framed by her dark hair, looked pale in the light. For the first time, he noticed that there was dried blood on the side of her head, where the sailor had struck her. He bent down, and put his hand on her head. As he whispered the words of a healing spell, she opened her eyes. He removed his hand.

"Good morning," Kratos said, after a short pause. Anna sat up and explored the side of her head with her fingers. "Good morning," she answered with a smile. "And thank you. Are you better now?"

He nodded. The wounds were causing some discomfort, but they had stopped bleeding, and with that he could travel. Anna tilted her head to one side. "Are you better now?" she repeated sternly. Her voice made Kratos smile for some reason. He tried to turn his head, but she saw his face. "What is it?" she demanded. "I can't help it if I don't sound as intimidating as you when you're trying to get a point across. I mean…I still mean what my tone is implying."

"If your tone is meant to be threatening, then I understood what you meant," he said with a grin. "But I don't know how you intend to enforce your implied…threat."

Anna threw back her head, laughing, "Oh, I could find something. Perhaps at the next village we pass through, I can buy some tomatoes and stew them or something."

He stared at her, shocked, then tried to recover his poise. But she was watching him with raised eyebrows and a smile on her lips. With a sigh, he turned to the ocean. "How did you know that I dislike them?" he asked, curious in spite of himself. Not once throughout their travels could he remember mentioning that he despised that food, even though he had not needed to eat since his transformation.

Anna stood and came up beside him. "When we were passing through one of the villages, before we hired the sailors, we passed a vegetable stand that was selling them; tomatoes, I mean. And just for an instant, you looked absolutely disgusted. So it was a bit of a guess on my part, but," she shrugged, "apparently it was a good one."

He bent his head. Anna shifted by his side, and he turned to look at her. She was gazing out at the waves, her hair snapping in the wind. She was shivering in the breeze, but she looked uplifted. She met his eyes, and smiled, looking so happy that he felt a sorrow that he could not yet feel such pure joy. Her delight was in the morning, in living, in being able to speak, sleep, or be silent as she chose.

With a slight effort, he turned his eyes away from her. After a while, Anna spoke up, "Kratos, when we go to get this key crest- what do we have to give the dwarves to get it?"

The question was so unexpected that he had to think a moment before answering. "I think that we will just have to pay them."

"That's what I thought. But do you have enough money to get to Iselia, and still pay what they would ask for a key crest?"

Kratos shrugged. "No, but I can find jobs when we pass through the villages."

Anna nodded. "But if you do that, what will you do? What do you know how to do?"

Surprised, he turned to her. "I can teach people to use a sword, or take a job as a mercenary, a bodyguard, if you will. Why do you ask?"

She rubbed her arms nervously. "Well, I think I should help…I too can get a job of some sort that would be temporary. I'd like to feel that I'm not just a useless companion for you."

"What are you talking about? Why do you feel that you are useless?"

"Mostly because I am the cause of the danger we both are in, and I have no means to do anything about it yet. I would like to at least be free of the worry of the exsphere, and for that reason, I want to help in obtaining the key crest."

Kratos looked down at the ground. He understood how she felt, but he did not want to let her into a village more than was necessary. He did not know how far Kvar had extended his search, and it was quite possible his wanted posters had made it to the continent ahead of Kratos and Anna. Indeed, that probably had happened. Perhaps the sailors, who had been from this continent, had recognized Anna the moment they saw her, and had merely waited for a good opportunity to capture her.

"Are you worried about my getting captured again?" Anna's voice cut into his thoughts. "Don't be. If any situation looks suspicious, I'll leave, I promise, no matter what it is, no matter what I'm in the middle of. If anything, you would be in more danger, if you intend to take a job as a bodyguard."

"But being a mercenary is different. I can defend myself more readily in such any situation that might arise in that job. You would be vulnerable to anyone who happens to recognize you."

"I can defend myself reasonably well, I think," she laughed. "And there are jobs other than being in a village, where there are many prying eyes. I can work at a farm, or someplace similar."

Kratos stared at her. He could think of no polite way to tell her that he did not think so highly of her ability to defend herself.

Anna seemed to read his thoughts. She gave an exasperated sigh. "Kratos, just because you could destroy me in a heartbeat- that doesn't mean that I couldn't hold off a lesser opponent."

Kratos felt a sudden stab of pity for her. "Anna, what if you had to kill the opponent?" he asked quietly. "What if the person was doing everything in his power to destroy you, and the only way you could stop him was to plunge that dagger of yours into his heart? Could you do it?"

She bit her lip. "I don't know," she whispered. "I never thought… I don't know if I could."

Kratos nodded. For the first time, she looked and sounded like the girl of nineteen that she was. The change woke within him a strong desire to help her, for he had never seen her look so troubled. "There is no shame, nor is it a sign of weakness, if you could not do it, Anna," he said gently.

"I suppose not." She turned away, looking out over the ocean.

"I can wield a sword, and I can destroy almost anyone who decides to pit himself against me," Kratos said, more to himself than to her. "Yet I am one of the weakest beings you will meet. I do not have a tenth of the strength of many people. You have are far stronger than I will ever be, for you were able to survive and retain your sanity, your morals, and even your ability to be happy, despite the Asgard ranch." She met his eyes. He held her gaze, and continued: "I could not have done that. It took me thousands of years to finally decide to stand for what I knew to be right, and even then I almost faltered. The point I am trying to make is that there is more to strength and courage then killing."

Anna nodded once, and then smiled faintly. "Thank you," she said, "I…I could not have seen things that way."

"It is not easy to think otherwise, given the world we live in."

"That's why we need to change it."

Kratos remembered his own words to her, when he had said that they would reunite the worlds. He wondered if she knew just how dangerous that would be. There was no doubt she had the necessary courage, but the split worlds should not be her trouble; Kvar was bad enough. He sighed. Anna was caught between two perils; one a shadowy thing of the future, and the other a concrete evil from her past. Would she ever have an escape?

"Kratos!" Anna's sharp cry brought him back to the present. She was staring out at the ocean. To the south, from which they had come, the cliff bulged out in a sharp curve. Around that curve a powerful ship was sailing. Kratos could only see the prow and part of the sail, but he knew from the vessel's size that it was not the sailors who had attacked them. The ship was too well-built.

"Oh, no," Anna whispered. "I remember now- the sailors sent a message to the Desians, when they had me."

"Then we have to go now. For all we know, Kvar may be on that boat." Kratos clenched his hands. The ship would reach the shore very soon. Already it was moving close to the cliffs. As soon as he saw the figures on the decks, he swore softly. They were indeed Desians, and there were many of them.

Anna ran back to the rocks and gathered their packs. Kratos watched the boat. Now a smaller craft came into view. He recognized that one; it was the ramshackle boat that had brought them to this coast. The sailors were leading the Desians to their location, probably at the point of a sword. He joined Anna and took the packs from her. Then he stood still, watching the boat.

"Should we run?" Anna asked, sounding impatient.

He shook his head, still trying to gauge the situation. "Running will tire you, and in the long run, it will not put much distance between us and them. We need to leave this trail in such a way that no one can track us, and we need to do it quickly."

"How?"

"I'm not sure. But we can't stay here."

"So here we go again," she said. Kratos was amazed and impressed by the laughter in her voice, as she continued, "Another race, against another opponent that seemingly has all the advantages."

"Well, as far as we can tell, we won the last one."

"Let's hope our winning streak continues, then. Where will we go?"

A sudden idea came to Kratos. "We'll stay on the trail for a short time. When we see a ravine, or a gap in the mountains, we'll go down it."

"But that will probably take us to a dead end."

"Yes, I hope so." He began to walk up the path, as fast as he could. Anna matched his pace.

"May I ask why you want to get to a dead end?" she said after a short time.

"For us, it will not be a dead end. But for the Desians it will be. There!" He turned to their left. A narrow gap showed between two looming peaks. Kratos led Anna into the cleft. They walked perhaps a mile. Then they came upon a wall of rock, soaring higher than the cliffs on either side of them. An eagle screamed in the sky.

Anna stared at him. "What now?"

"Help me sort out what we have in the packs. We need to find a way to make all the essential supplies go into one of them." He fumbled as he tried to shove some food from one sack to the other. Anna laughed out loud. "Let me do that," she said, kneeling down. With nimble hands, she shifted the position of the food and refolded the rough blankets. It took her only a few minutes to repack everything in one of the packs.

Sheepishly Kratos hid the now-empty sack underneath a rock. Anna stood, and scanned the cliff. "What do you have in mind?" she asked, still craning her head. "That looks far too sheer for us to climb."

"Do you have a good head for heights?" Kratos asked. He let his wings burst from his shoulders, remembering belatedly that she had not yet seen him as an angel.

A spasm of shock passed over Anna's face. She stared at him, then back at the cliffs. "Do you mean…Oh, no. You must be insane."

He laughed, and stretched out a hand to her. With a groan, she came and stood in front of him. He put both his arms around her waist. She put the pack on her left shoulder, looping the straps twice around her arm. Since he was so close to her, he could feel her whole body stiffen. He smiled, looking down at the top of her head. "Anna, relax. I have no intention of dropping you. Are you ready?"

"No!" she gasped. "If you're certain this is the only way for us to go, then at least make it quick! Are you sure we have no other way of evading the Desians?"

An exasperated reply rose to his lips. But he caught himself, realizing just in time that her words were not altogether serious. Not altogether. Instead he tried to make her laugh. "Do you think I'm doing this just to terrify you?"

"If you were, you couldn't have come up with a better way!" But she was laughing; he could hear it in her voice. Her head turned slightly, but her face was obscured by her hair. "All right, I'm ready-I think."

Kratos braced himself and sprang. He heard Anna gasp. Her hands clenched his. The ground fell away with every beat of his wings. He was slightly disturbed by how light Anna was to carry; even though she had been out of the human ranch for some time, the effects of her suffering clearly still lingered. Higher and higher they rose. The morning shadows cast by the peaks were sharply highlighted on the ground. Anna did not say a word, but he could feel her shallow breathing. He guessed her eyes were shut.

After a short time, he could see a thin trail snaking through the mountains. The brown trail stood out like a ribbon against the grey rocks. It was deserted. To be safe, he landed behind three huge rocks that hid them from the path. He let go of Anna. She turned to him, with a smile on her ashen face. "Well, that went well," she said shakily. "Please, don't ever do that again. Not unless we absolutely need to."

"Not unless we need to," he agreed. He noticed that she was trembling, and took the pack from her shoulder. She thanked him, and sat down, leaning against the rock. He remained standing. With a sigh, she looked up at him. "We have to get moving right away, don't we?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "Not if you are not ready."

Anna raised her eyebrows, and extended a hand. "I can go now. I may be terrified of heights, but walking won't do anything to me."

Kratos took her hand and lifted her to her feet. Together they went onto the path. "Where are we going now?" Anna asked.

He cleared his throat, and turned away. "There should be a village west of here."

She gave him a penetrating look. "How certain are you?"

He shrugged, and heard her gasp with suppressed laughter. Nettled, he did not turn around. Anna came in front of him, and he could not avoid her eyes. "Kratos, I'm not mocking you," she said lightly. "Laughing at you? Maybe a little. But I don't doubt you'll get us where we need to go. I'm not worried- not when I'm with you. Shall we go?"


	13. Two Syllables in 'Goodbye'

**I have no idea how to thank everyone who has reviewed. You guys are making me so happy, and giving me even more incentive to keep going with this story. And those who are reading, I love you. Thanks so much for sticking with me! **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Um, I just liked the rhyme for "deep asleep". It sounded nice, but it's probably not grammatically correct. And Anna knew that Kratos was an angel; she just hadn't seen it yet. So I don't think she'd be thinking too much about that. I think the prospect of flying bothers her a little more...**

**AndieArmstrong: Thank you! Same to you!**

**CommodoreZelda13: Glad you liked it! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

**andy: No problem. I'm sorry my updates are taking a while. Thanks so much for reviewing!**

**mysticklonoa: Thanks so much for saying that about their dialogue; their interactions are my favorite parts to write! **

**Once again- thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read and review this. I honestly did not expect to get more than five reviews, not to mention readers. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. **

By sunset, they had emerged from the mountains. The path opened onto a grassy plane that was surrounded on either side by rolling hills. The air was warm, and there was a slight breeze. A very small group of buildings was clustered along the path. Kratos and Anna made their way to the outskirts of the town. Anna was surprised by the dense crowd, for the village was much smaller than many of the places she and Kratos had seen.

More and more people filled the road as they came closer to the buildings. Some drove carts with boxes, others carried sacks and weapons. Not all the faces were friendly. Anna knew that in a crowd there was less chance of her being noticed, but she felt an unreasonable fear that these people would turn on her, seize her, and drag her away.

There was one building that was larger than the rest, and bore a large sign with strange markings. Anna noticed that many travelers were going in and out of the place, and she wondered why. Kratos had stopped several yards away from the building, and was tapping his finger against the hilt of his sword. Finally he turned to her. "We should spend the night in there, and I think we should check in together. If we go separately, you would attract attention travelling alone. Does that…bother you?" His voice sounded almost embarrassed, and he did not meet her eyes.

"Why should it bother me?" she asked.

He stared at her oddly. "Anna, look at the sign."

She did, and could make nothing of it. "Why should that answer my question?"

"Didn't you see what it says?"

Anna shook her head. "Kratos, I can't read. I never learned how. Will you please tell me what's on it, and why I should be bothered?"

"That place is an inn. And if we check in together…" his voice trailed off.

Anna suppressed a smile with difficulty. "I don't see how that's any different from the way we've travelled the past two months. Are you worried about what people will think?" she said gently.

Kratos stared at the ground, looking more discomforted than she had ever seen him. She touched him lightly on the shoulder. "Kratos, come on. We will not see anyone in this place again. Besides," she could not resist adding, "this wouldn't be the first time people have said strange things about us; those sailors assumed you and I were lovers." Kratos raised his head at that, but his face was expressionless. Anna gave him a grin. "Let's get it over with," she said firmly.

The inn was filled with people. Kratos reserved a room, and disappeared immediately after checking in, saying that he was going to find a map. Anna had no trouble finding the room, but once she reached it, she felt lost. How was it that people could need so much furniture, and so many things, such as blankets and a rocking chair, for a one or two night's stay? She threw the pack down on the bed, and opened the window. The warm wind drove her hair back and the setting sun cast a rich red light over everything.

She turned when Kratos came into the room, a scroll in his hand, his head almost brushing the ceiling. He looked around. He whispered, but she heard, "Amazing. I did not expect the place to be like this."

"I know!" Anna exclaimed. "How can people need this much? Is it so hard to go without a mirror, or a chair, for one night? It's so strange."

Kratos stared at her for such a long time that she felt uncomfortable. To break the silence, she asked, "Is that the map?"

He nodded, and spread it out on the bed. Anna came and stared at it. The markings meant nothing to her. Kratos indicated one of the lines that twisted down, and across the page. "That space after this line is the ocean we crossed, and I think we must have been ambushed roughly here." He pointed to a spot on one of the black lines.

Still confused, Anna squinted at the paper. Kratos took his hand away from the lines, and held down the edge of the map. "It may help if you think of the map as an outline of the lands, drawn as they would look from the sky. These lines are a picture of the continent on which we stand. Over here is the continent which contains Luin and Asgard."

"So this wide area here is the ocean, then. And these markings along the coast…"

"They're the mountains we flew over. I think that we are here," he pointed at a point towards the center of the continent, "near the desert. This place seems to be a crossroads of sorts between the roads that lead to Triet, which is in the middle of the desert, and the roads from Izoold, which is on the coast."

Anna looked at the parchment. "Why is this place not marked anywhere on the map, then?" she asked.

Kratos shrugged. "This village is not very large. Also, this is not a very good map, it only shows the major cities, with nothing of the roads or villages in between them."

Anna nodded. It was incredible to think that someone had been able to obtain a picture, however rough, of the entire world. She wondered how it had been done. Had the person traveled the world, guessing at the size of the continents? How could he know the shape of the world as it looked from above? An image of an angel, soaring above the continents, sketching busily, rose in her mind. She smiled to herself, imagining Kratos's face if she suggested that he become a mapmaker to get more money.

She turned when she heard the door squeak open. Kratos was about to go out. "I'm going to see if anyone in this area needs the services of a mercenary," he said. "I can't make you stay in this place, but if you go out, be careful. There may be more men like the sailors around."

Anna grimaced. "I hope not. But you know, if you get a job as a mercenary- your employer may decide that he doesn't want me to go with you. If he recognizes me, then he might turn me in, or decide that he won't take you."

Kratos shrugged, still standing in the open door. "I can try to talk him into letting you come. But if not, I can find some other job."

"I see. Well, good luck. I'm going to see if I can find work that will be available to a woman who is rather weak, and has no skill sets whatsoever. There must be something."

Kratos smiled faintly. "Be careful, then," he repeated.

"Of course. What makes you think I wouldn't be?"

"Would you like the reasons in chronological order? When Yggdrasill came you put yourself in his path despite seeing what he could do. When he sent those Desians to draw us out, instead of staying undercover-"

"All right, all right!" Anna laughed. "I promise I'll be careful. Is that enough for you?"

Kratos nodded, and went out quickly. Anna shut the door, since people were in the hall. She immediately threw herself down on the bed. It was so soft, comfortable and springy, that she did not want to get up. Was this what people slept on every night, in the free world? Did they have any idea how lucky they were? She sat up, then dropped down again, almost laughing. Even if it was only for one night, she could sleep in luxury.

With an effort, she rose from the bed, and went to the mirror. She was surprised by her reflection. A round face, with huge brown eyes gazed back at her. Her mouth was wide, and her lips were pale, as was her whole face. Her dark hair was thick, and fell a little past her shoulders. It had grown since Asgard. "You're rather a strange-looking person, aren't you?" she told her reflection teasingly. "An odd companion for someone like Kratos. No wonder the sailors were… confused."

She pulled her hair back, and tried to smooth it. Pocketing the key, she surveyed herself one last time. Her clothes were dirty, and her face needed washing. She could do nothing about her dress, but she quickly splashed some water on her face, scrubbing at it with a rough cloth. Then she went out, through the crowd in the inn, and into the street.

The people here were nothing like those in Luin, where everyone had seemed to have some inner delight that they wanted to share with the world. Here the people seemed to be secretive and suspicious, all content to remain strangers. Anna wandered, uncertain what to do, or where to go. The market here was arranged in a square area in front of the inn, and the vendors who ran the stands were closing up for the night. An old man selling jewelry gave Anna a nod, and held up a brooch that was so beautiful, she came closer. It was silver with a blue stone.

"This would be perfect for you, but it would be shabby to make you buy it for its true value. So, since it suits you so well, I'll sell for…2,000 gald."

Anna winced. "No, thank you," she said firmly. "Although I do have a question for you. Where could I find a job that is temporary, and does not require much skill, such as helping out in a place like a stable, or a farm?"

The jeweler set down the pin, and rubbed his nose. "There aren't many farms near here, because we're only a few miles east of the desert; the soil isn't very good. But I do know a family, who lives a few hours away east and north of here, who owns a farm. They need some help packing their goods for market tomorrow. But I can't guarantee they'd take you, since they don't know you. But they're in town now, looking for help. You're rather weedy looking, but you don't look dangerous. If you're strong enough, it might be what you're looking for."

"It might," said Anna, though she still had reservations. She would have to meet the family first, but that job sounded suited to her situation. "Do you know this family well?" she asked.

"Well enough. They came down from the north, from near Iselia, and live near the foothills of the Ossa mountains. I talk with them when they come into town to buy things. I think they have some kind of tragedy in their past, mostly because the woman looks sad. But that's just me guessing." The jeweler suddenly glanced over her head. "They're coming this way now, actually. Would you like me to introduce you?"

"If you would," said Anna. She turned as the family came forward. The man had grey hair and a lined face. His wife looked somewhat younger, with black eyes that did indeed look sorrowful. Two little girls were at their side. They looked about seven and ten years old.

The jeweler introduced the man as Evan, and his wife as Riata. Anna gave her name, and told them what she was looking for. The woman surveyed her sharply and said, "We can offer you work only for a day, and that would be all. All we are doing is packing our goods tomorrow for delivery. Is that what you need?"

Anna was at a loss, for she had not expected them to even consider her. "I think it is," she answered. "But the main reason it needs to be short is that I'm travelling. After the job is done, I would have to meet up with a companion, because I have to resume my journey. Would that be all right?"

"Of course," the woman answered. "If you could get your things and come with us tonight, that would actually be more helpful. Then we can start early tomorrow, and be done by the end of the day."

"I need to check with someone, but I think I should be able to come. Can I go make certain?" asked Anna, trying to sound as polite as she could. The woman looked surprised, but nodded.

Anna turned away to go to the inn, pushing her way through the crowd. She ran up the stairs, and met Kratos in the hallway outside their room. "I found a family willing to give me work," she said quickly. "But it's a job that begins tomorrow and sounds like it would last all day. Did you find anything?"

Kratos shrugged. "A man who's a diplomat of some kind wants a bodyguard as he goes to Triet, which is in the desert. It would take perhaps a day to go there with him, and about half a day for me to make it back here. Is there a way you could stay with that family an extra day?"

"I'd feel strange asking that, to be honest," she answered. "But I do know that they live near the Ossa mountains, wherever those might be."

"You could ask for directions to where the Ossa trail comes out of the mountains. I could meet you there, the day after tomorrow."

Anna inclined her head. "That sounds all right to me."

The two of them faced one another in the hall outside their room. Anna knew she should return to her new-found employers, but she did not want to go just yet. It would be strange to go without Kratos. He had been with her for nearly two months, and she had become used to his company. She liked being with him, enjoyed trying to make him smile. Finally she shook herself, and spoke up, "Well, I suppose I'll see you the day after tomorrow then."

He nodded, but looked troubled. Anna raised her eyebrows. "What's the matter?" she asked.

Kratos looked away. "This whole business is risky. That's all."

She laughed softly, "Kratos, from the very beginning, our acquaintance has been risky, to say the least."

Kratos looked at her then, his expression unreadable. "Is 'acquaintance' how you would describe these past few months?"

Anna looked at him in surprise, and wondered if she had hurt his feelings. "No," she answered softly. With a smile, she looked Kratos in the eyes. "No, I think I would describe it as friendship. A friendship I never expected to have, or would have hoped for."

Kratos's lips twitched, as though to smile. But he showed nothing more. "Then Asgard must have been worse than I imagined, if this surpasses your hopes."

"It was pretty bad," said Anna lightly. "Being outside is better than anything I could have imagined. But truthfully, I was thinking even when I first met you. You've-you've become very different from the monosyllabic person who first led me out of Asgard."

He looked offended. "I was not monosyllabic."

Anna laughed at the expression on his face. "Perhaps not. Occasionally you would shock me by putting more than two sentences together. But you've grown much less stiff since then." Kratos opened his mouth, and shut it again. She bit back another burst of laughter. "And my saying that seems to have effectively tongue-tied you. But don't worry- you won't need to put up with me for almost two days."

Kratos smiled, almost unwillingly, it seemed to her. "Anna, do you remember what you said, when we were by the cliffs?"

"I haven't forgotten. If anything seems suspicious, I'll leave. Don't worry about me. Just be careful, come back from Triet quickly, and we can go on to Iselia." She moved forward and unlocked the door. Scooping up the pack, she smiled ruefully at the bed, and went back into the hall. She gave Kratos the key. Once again, she did not know what to say. Finally she cleared her throat. "Goodbye."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Now who's talking in monosyllables?"

Caught off guard, she could not help but laugh, "I beg your pardon; at last count, there are two syllables in 'Goodbye'."

He smiled fully. "Take care, Anna."

"I will, I promise." She hesitated, then added shyly, "Don't take too long to get to the Ossa trail. Goodbye, Kratos." Quickly she went down the stairs, wondering why she felt such pain at parting from him, even if it was only for little more than a day.


	14. An Exsphere Removed

**Hey, everyone! So here we are again. I don't have too much to say tonight, so I will jump right to my wonderful reviewers.**

**CommodoreZelda13: It should be soon. I know I've been saying that it's coming for a while, but I really do mean 'soon'. Truly. Very Soon. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I'm happy the writing's improved. I hope things stay that way!**

**Klausi: I'm so glad you like it! Thank you so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me.**

**mysticklonoa: I know the chapters have been short, and I'm really sorry. The upcoming chapters will have more substance. This past week has been awful, so thank you so much for wishing me well, I appreciate it very much.**

**andy: No, don't worry, your review makes sense. I think the best response I can give, though, is read on!**

**ToSDude999: Your review made me post this. It's actually been sitting in Document Manager for a while now, so thanks for getting me in motion. Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Tales of...you all know the drill by now. **

Anna's words surprised Kratos, but before he could respond, she went down the stairs. For a while he stood in the hall. He was worried for her, more than he liked to admit to himself. He knew that she was quick-witted, and that she had courage. But would that be enough, if something were to go wrong?

He tried to focus on the present. The diplomat was waiting in the lobby of the hotel, and he would have to meet him and finalize their arrangements for his own employment. But still worries for Anna lingered at the back of his mind. He brushed them aside, annoyed with himself. Yet the thought of her still gnawed him. His mood was not improved by his telling himself that he had no real right to worry for her as he did.

He descended to the lower level to meet his employer, and arranged to set out at sunrise the next morning. After settling when the man would pay him, Kratos went outdoors, wondering if Anna had already left. He looked around the square, but could not see her anywhere. Many of the shopkeepers had left. The sun had set, but red clouds still shone in the west. Long dark shadows blotted the roads, and filled the alleys between buildings.

Kratos leaned against the side of the inn, wondering how to fill the hours between the sunset and the dawn. He had become so used to Anna's presence that he did not know what to do without her. Sometimes she would ask him questions, but more often, they talked quietly together. Occasionally, they would simply fall silent, but never once had those silences felt empty. At nights, when they stopped to rest, he would catch Anna staring into the coals of the fire she had crafted, with a thoughtful expression on her face. Sometimes when this happened, she would look up suddenly, meet his eyes, and give him a smile filled with such joy that he always smiled back at her, even if he did not share her delight in that moment.

After a while, he noticed that a lone vendor was slowly packing up his wares. Kratos saw that he had difficulty packing some of the trinkets that he sold. The old man tried to place some small boxes into a large carrying case that he would clearly carry on his back. A few of the boxes clattered to the earth and broke open, spilling the contents.

Without a word, Kratos went forward and began to replace some of the baubles in their cases. The man gave him a nervous glance, but Kratos simply handed him the boxes. The man carefully packed them in his case, sealed the locks, and hoisted the thing on his back with some difficulty.

"Do you want me to help you carry that?" Kratos asked.

The man bristled immediately: "What, so you can run off with my things?" But his tired face belied his angry tone. He shrugged. "Well," he said to Kratos wearily. "That was rude of me. If you don't mind, then I'd appreciate it. I don't live far away, just in that small house on the edge of the town."

Kratos swept the case up onto his back, and followed the man's lead. They came to a small broken-down hovel, behind a waste dump. Kratos fought down his distaste. The old man opened the door, and indicated with a wave of his hand where he wanted the case put down. The house was cluttered with metalworking tools. Scraps of metal crunched under his shoes. Kratos could think of nothing to say after setting down the case, so he immediately turned toward the door.

"Hey, hey, wait," the old man called in surprise. "I should- You didn't need to do that for me, and a deed like that's rare enough in this town. Here," he stooped and reached into his case. "I can give you something from what I have in here." He lifted out three boxes, which he opened to show glittering trinkets.

Kratos shook his head. "Thank you, but I don't need anything." In his own mind, he was certain that all the jeweler's goods were worthless.

The old man gave him a sharp look. "A lot of what I sell is junk," he said shamelessly, "but these boxes contain things that actually aren't bad work." He held up a brooch made of intricate metal twists around a single blue stone.

To pacify the man, Kratos came forward and looked more closely at the trinkets. One piece caught his eye. It was a necklace with a fine gleaming chain. The thin oval-shaped pendant was carved with flowers in such a way that it resembled metal lace. It felt hollow in Kratos's hand. He felt as though he ought to remember what this piece of jewelry was, but it had been so long since he had seen that side of human nature. He turned it over in his hands, thinking. Suddenly decided, he looked the man in the eye. "Could I take this?"

The man nodded. "A good choice, I worked hard on that one. You drive a hard bargain," he laughed creakily, "but a good choice nevertheless. Good night to you." He turned away, and Kratos left.

As soon as Kratos came into the road, he realized his heart was pounding. What had he been thinking? How was he going to follow through with what he had in mind? As soon as he had seen the necklace, his first thought was that it could be a gift for Anna. But how on earth could he give it to her? Coming from him, it would seem strange, and he had no idea how he would even explain why he wanted to give it to her, for he barely knew himself.

The moon rose, looking like a pale lamp hung in the dark blue sky. Kratos tucked the necklace into his coat and walked back to the inn. He went back up to the dingy room and sat down on the window sill, wondering why one night suddenly felt like an eternity. Time, and life itself, had gradually lost all meaning, when he had been in Derris-Kharlan. Every year had been an hour, and every century a day. He had never truly despaired; Kratos recognized now that he had dulled himself until he barely could take in anything, until his four thousand years lent him no insight, until even his sharp eyesight and quick hearing were no longer capable of showing him the world's beauty. But that had changed when he descended on earth, and he knew there was more to the change than merely leaving the angelic stronghold. "It took a young girl to show me what I had done to myself," he whispered to the dark room. "A girl of nineteen or twenty, who cannot read, who has seen nothing of the outside world, and has more wisdom, joy, and gentleness within her than any being I have ever known."

His words almost frightened him. By speaking his secret thoughts aloud, he was acknowledging to himself that he was far more intertwined with Anna than he had ever intended to become. Kratos drove his hand through his hair. What did he feel for Anna? Why, for instance, whenever she smiled at him, did his own heart grow lighter? This action of hers, beautiful as it was, was not the cause of this feeling. Suddenly understanding came to him. Seeing that she was happy, no matter the cause, no matter the circumstance, contented him. Her own joy was sufficient reason for him to be happy.

With a sigh, Kratos fingered the hilt the hilt of his sword. This complication was not one he had been expecting when he left Yggdrasill. He was certain that her own feelings for him were nowhere near as tumultuous. Her friendship for him was open and honest, and he appreciated that more than he could ever tell her.

Such thoughts occupied him throughout the rest of the long night. Even when he met his employer early the next morning, his musings followed him. Throughout the trek through the desert, he was even more unresponsive than usual. Triet itself did not interest him, not when he had no one to show it to. If Anna had been with him, it might have been different. But now that his job was done, he simply wanted to go back and meet her at the Ossa trail. At the diplomat's insistence, Kratos stayed one impatient night in Triet, and set out across the desert the next morning. Because of crowds on the road, he had to walk the entire journey, and it took him the better part of the day.

Even after he made his way back across the desert, it took him till sunset to find where the Ossa trail left the mountains. The trail resembled a river of stones pouring out of the mountains. Once the trail reached level ground, it forked, one path going north along the mountains, while the other went south, trailing around a dark forest that straggled on the foothills of the mountains. Anna was nowhere to be seen.

Kratos refused to acknowledge the fear that had been nagging him ever since he had left her, the fear that something might happen to her. Instead, he tried to look for any explanation. The area to the north of the trail was flat and clearly deserted. But on the southern side of the trail, to Kratos's right as he faced the mountains, there was the dark expanse of forest. He stood still, listening. He thought he could hear a faint disturbance in the woods, but he could not identify the sounds. Finally he softly called Anna's name. As he did so, he turned to the mountains, still scanning the trail. He caught the gleam of metal further up the trail, near where the mountains began. Kratos went to look. A Desian greave lay there. Faint bootprints came down from the mountains, leading into the trees.

Kratos drew his sword and entered the forest, extending his senses to their utmost power. He listened, his eyes sweeping the shadows. Then he heard a growling, roaring sound that grated on his ears. Shouts came from the forest only a few hundred yards or so ahead of him. Then a voice shrieked, ringing with horror and disgust: "Bastards! He was only a child!" Kratos started violently, for the voice was Anna's.

He spread his wings and took flight, rising high over the trees. Once above the forest, he could see that it faded as it encroached upon the mountains. There was a bare space of some hundred yards between the trees and the cliffs. In this space were five Desians, and a being the likes of which Kratos had never seen, only heard of. The head was round and faceless, the body shiny and massive, with disproportionately long clawed arms, and thick ungainly legs. But this monstrosity had once been a human being.

For one horrible instant Kratos thought that Anna had been transformed. Then he saw her. She was collapsed on the ground, leaning on her right hand. Her dagger was lying some distance away, snapped in half. She was between the Desians and the monster. Her attention was fixed on the creature. One of the Desians stood beside her, bouncing an exsphere on his palm. He tucked it into his coat, and stretched out a long metal arm. A blast of light shot from it, toppling the monster. With a growl, it fell, and began to wither.

Kratos heard Anna give a small gasp, or perhaps a sob. The Desian leader turned to her, and Kratos saw with shock that it was Forcystus, one of the Grand Cardinals.

The Desian bent over Anna. Kratos heard him say dispassionately, calmly, as though nothing had happened, "I am curious about how this exsphere is developing." He tore open the front of her dress to examine her chest, and reeled back as Anna slapped him with all her might.

Kratos had seen enough. He leapt down from the sky, landing between Anna and the Desian. His back was to Anna, but he heard her stand. Forcystus stared at him in shock. Kratos blasted him back against the cliff face. Pulling Anna to his side, he whirled on the Desians, and cast Judgment. They fell, groaning as light tore through them.

Kratos's attention was distracted when Anna suddenly grabbed his arm and leaned heavily on him. Her breathing was ragged. He caught her, and realized that she had been stabbed in the stomach. He could mend it, but it would take time and they had to leave quickly. He cast a quick healing spell. "That won't hold," he said, "but it will suffice for now. I know you hate flying, but we need to do it one more time." He put his arms around her waist and tightened his grip. Anna breathed sharply and her hands, clasped over his, trembled. It was clear she was in pain. Swiftly Kratos stooped and lifted her so that he cradled her. She gasped again, and her face contorted. He gave her a quick glance. "Is that any better?" he asked.

"Yes, but it still hurts," she whispered. "We should go now." She glanced at the prostrate Desians. Kratos sprang up into the sky and headed for the mountains. He flew behind one of the peaks as quickly as he could. A ledge on the east side of one of the mountains caught his eye. He landed there, and set Anna down. Her wound had reopened during the flight. Without a word he cast a more thorough healing spell that would heal the entire stab.

When he finished, Anna leaned back against the rock. Tears began to fall down her face. Kratos sat down beside her, letting her weep for a short time. He had seen her cry from pure sorrow before, and he saw that in her face now. But she also looked profoundly shocked, as though she had watched a nightmare take place in front of her. "Anna," he said softly, "Anna, what happened?"

She took a deep breath, and folded her hands. "After I left you- nothing. We went to the house of that family- it's a little to the south of the trail- and the next day, I just worked. It wasn't hard; all I had to do was pack up the things they had grown, and get them ready for when they would be sold in that town. And they were helping too, so that wasn't any trouble.

"While I was there, I noticed a picture in the house that clearly was the family. The man Evan, and his wife Riata have two daughters, Lori and Trina. I recognized all of them, but there was a boy in the picture I hadn't seen. Riata saw me looking at the picture- she said it was a photograph- and told me that the boy was their son. I'm only telling you this because it does have a bearing on what happened back there." Anna swallowed, and another tear trickled down her cheek. Without thinking, Kratos reached forward and wiped it away. He jerked his hand away as soon as he had done it.

"Thanks," Anna whispered. She bent her head. "She then told me that she wasn't even sure what had happened to him, but that he had been taken captive by the Desians, only last year, and they couldn't find a way to get him out. Apparently he was too valuable an experiment subject." Anna's voice sounded bitter. She bit her lip, and continued, "Anyway, Riata just began to tell me everything. I don't think she could help it; she told me she thought she failed her child. She went shopping with her son, actually in Iselia and he ran off as they were going back. The Desians found him and took him to the human ranch. As I told you, Evan and Riata couldn't get him out. The family moved down here last year, after all their efforts to free him failed.

"I just listened to her tell me this for a while. At times she was sobbing. Eventually, though, she calmed down, and we went back to work. They paid me, and I left them that night, and camped out in the forest. I was there all today, and it wasn't until a few minutes before you came that things got ugly.

"When I was at the trail, I heard someone running down from the mountains. I went into the forest, and waited. A boy came down out of the trail, sprinting as hard as he could. He looked exhausted. What shocked me was that it was the boy from the photograph. He somehow escaped the human ranch, and was able to trace his family down here." Anna buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry," she gasped out. "I'm not telling this well. Anyway, I ran up to him, and asked him who he was. He said he was looking for his family, but he couldn't go to them, because he was hunted by the Desians. What made this so awful was that he couldn't have been more than nine or ten years old. Then- the Desians came. I ran with him into the forest. But the Desians were close, and the boy was so tired that he only made it to the place you found us before collapsing. That was when they caught up with us. The leader said to his followers, 'It has no use for us now, the exspere has developed more in escape than it did in captivity.' He- I tried to fight him off, and did wound him, but it didn't seem to have any effect. One of the others stabbed me then. Then the leader reached forward and tore off the boy's exsphere."

Her whole body shuddered. "I've never seen anything so horrible. I never imagined that such a thing could happen. The boy changed into that…thing. It was so fast, and so awful to see. He looked terrified as that Desian came at him, and then he began to grow and lose all expression, and started growling… He came so close to his home, he almost made it back…and now he's gone."

Kratos could think of nothing to say, so he took her hand in his. She held it tightly, tears still falling down her face. Wondering at his own daring, Kratos brushed her tears away. Anna smiled faintly, and looked out at the darkening sky. Finally she spoke: "Kratos, what is the quickest way we can put an end to what the Desians are doing?"

Kratos feared the turn her thoughts were taking. "The quickest way would probably be to depose Yggdrasill, but that way is…"

Anna laughed sadly, "No, that way isn't open to us right now. If we were to go about reuniting the worlds, would that help?"

"It might," he said cautiously. "But by itself, that would not be enough to end the exsphere production. I didn't explain this to you very clearly when we went out of Asgard, but the fact that the world is split in two is not the only complication we face." The formation of the pact with Origin rose in his mind. The voice of Mithos: _"Kratos, are you sure you want to go through with this? If you do this, it will secure the worlds beyond anything I could do. But when we reunite them, there's a very good chance you'll die when we have to release Origin. Are you sure you want to become the Seal? This is the last chance to change your mind."_ His own response: _"If it will help bring about the world Martel had in mind, if you promise that this will lead to a world where all life is respected, then, yes, I will become the seal."_

"Kratos?" Anna said softly. "You look worried. What else stands in our way, other than the danger?"

Kratos looked at her, and words failed him. The last thing she needed now was to be told that for the worlds to become one, he would have to die. He stood up. "I will tell you later, I promise. But we should leave now. We won't have much time before Yggdrasill receives word that I'm not dead."

Anna's face fell. "It might be safer then, if we left this continent altogether," she said. "If we go to Iselia, it will be difficult to stay hidden on the way. Especially if Yggdrasill finds out that you are still alive."

"I was thinking the same," Kratos admitted. "I'm sorry, Anna, that I could not get you a crest."

Anna smiled. "It doesn't matter. If we can make this world a place where such things won't be needed, that should be good enough."

"You have no thought for your own safety then?" Kratos asked with a faint smile.

"I do, I suppose- when I think of it. But there are other things to think about." One last tear trickled down her cheek. Kratos brushed it away.

"Don't be haunted by what happened, Anna," he said. "I'll stay by you; I promise I will not let anything like that happen to you again." He realized belatedly that his hand was still on her cheek, and hastily removed it. Anna smiled, and lightly brushed her hair back from her face. "Thank you for that," she said. "Where will we go from here?"

"I think Izoold would be best; they have ships going back and forth between the continents, and it would be easy to leave this continent unnoticed."

Anna nodded. She cleared her throat, and asked firmly, "Kratos, can I have that coat you're wearing now?"

Bewildered, Kratos gave her the coat, and then realized that she had been holding her torn dress together the entire time. He turned red. Anna smiled, dropped her pack off her back, and threw the garment over her shoulders. "We should go now," she said quietly. "As you said, we don't have much time." Kratos lifted her, and spread his wings. Anna shut her eyes as soon as he took off, and did not open them until they landed on the other side of the mountains, a few miles from Izoold and the coast.


	15. A Small 'Thank you'

**I have to open with Colette's line: "I'm sorry!" Midterms! Papers! Quizzes! Reading! More Reading! I'm so sorry about how long it's been.  
Second, I have a confession of sorts that I thought I made earlier, but realized I hadn't. Anyway: I've never actually played Tales of Symphonia. I've just read the manga, and fell in love with it. I hope that helps people understand my writing a little better; I'm only being vague at some points because I don't have very much to go on. If I make a mistake or anything, feel free to tell me.  
Thirdly, I realized I have a contradiction that I'm surprised no one caught. I had Anna able to read in the first chapter, but then forgot about it by the time I got to Ch. 13. Anyway, I think it makes more sense that she not be able to read, so I'm leaving it as it is. I may fix it later, when I have time. Ok, to my reviewers!**

**CommodoreZelda13: That chapter evolved into a depressing one all by itself. And it makes me very sad to think that will happen to Anna- I don't want to think about it now. As regards the romance, there is a reason, believe it or not, that I put romance as one of this story's themes! Really! (I know that doesn't really answer you question. Just bear with me).**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Yes, the week is better, thank heaven. I'm surprised- I didn't think that chapter was that packed. Glad you liked it, though!**

**Moonlight M3lody: Welcome back! I was afraid I'd done something to annoy you :) Thanks so much for taking the time to review! Yes, they are much closer. Characterwise- Yuan's not coming in till later, and there aren't really that many people, apart from Desians and Cruxis, who were around when Anna and Kratos were. That's mainly why the story has such a narrow focus. It will get a little broader though. I hope it's not getting boring. **

**andy: Not at all. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hope you like this chapter too!**

**AndieArmstrong: Haha, I was wondering if anyone would fall for that chapter title. Now I know. **

**Jnaso: Your review made me so happy I was almost crying. You've given me one of the greatest compliments I've ever received as a writer. Your story is wonderful: I encourage people to check it out. Thank you so much! Inspiration- you inspired me to spend 3 and a half hours on it last night, and practically get carpal (is that spelled right?) tunnel syndrome writing it. And I love you for it. I'm so humbled by what you told me, I'll be working that much harder at it now. **

**Thanks so much, everyone, for reading and reviewing! You know I don't ToS, and I've talked a lot, so on to the story!**

The breeze, heavy with the scent of salt, seaweed, and dead fish, indicated the presence of the ocean. The mountain path on which Kratos and Anna walked took them to a curve of the cliff. A few feet ahead of them, the path turned downwards and to the left, snaking down the side of the precipice to the bay on which Izoold was located. The fishing village looked fragile, with small buildings clustered near the water. Docks extended for several yards into the water. The water was filled with tethered ships of all kinds.

Anna looked out over the houses. Smoke came from the chimneys, and a faint grey light showed in the east. She was profoundly thankful that, between flying and walking there had been no time to sleep. Images of the child still rose unbidden in her mind, and she was terrified of reliving the horror in her dreams. In all her time at the human ranch, she had never seen such a hideous transformation, though she had heard whispers of such things happening.

Shivering from the wind, she turned to go on, and saw Kratos looking at her with concern. "I'm all right," she said. It shamed her that she could never hide her emotions. She envied Kratos his ability to do whatever was needful, even if he was worried or angry, and wished she had that much self-control.

He nodded without comment, for which she was profoundly grateful. She gave him a quick smile. Partially to take her mind off the night before, and partially because she was curious, she asked, "When we have time, can you explain to me what we need to do to reunite the worlds?"

Kratos's shoulders tensed, but he answered, "Yes, of course. But that may not be until we are on the ship."

They made their way down the path. The morning air was much colder than Anna could remember. The seasons had begun to change. "Kratos, what month is it?" she asked.

His pace slowed a little, though he did not stop. "I- I don't know," he said after a while. He seemed to think that some explanation was needed, and continued, "After a while, I stopped keeping track of the years, Anna. The only way I even know that my transformation took place four thousand years ago, was that Yuan would remind me at times about how many years had gone by."

Anna nodded. "I see." She hesitated, then added quickly, "Kratos, why did you want to become an angel?"

Kratos helped her down a point where the path suddenly dropped downwards, like a strange step in the cliff. His face looked troubled, and thoughtful, even as he lowered her to level ground. Finally he seemed to remember that she was waiting for an answer. "I hardly remember, to tell the truth, Anna. I think the only answer I can give is that I was drawn to the power the transformation brought. You have seen the wings, you have seen the spells I can cast. None of those would be possible for me if I were still human. I think also, when my friends, who had become my family, decided to undergo the change, that may have been a help. No matter what happened to us, we would endure it together. I will admit too, that I was drawn to the thought of not dying."

Anna stared at him in surprise. "Why?"

The look Kratos gave her made her wonder if she had spoken another language. "Why? Anna, the thought of not having to die-" he turned away, and she could not catch his last whispered words.

"Didn't such a transformation have a price, though?" Anna asked after a short pause.

"Yes. For one thing, I lost the need for sleep- at least- I can't remember the last time I slept. I don't need to eat, although I do sometimes, when I feel like it. The long life, I think, made me lose most of what made me human, and most of my goodness too."

"I don't see anything lacking in you," she said. "Neither in humanity, nor in goodness."

He looked away from her. "If you know me now, I'm surprised you think so."

"You idiot," said Anna gently. He gave her such a surprised look that she laughed softly. "I know you now, and that person is not the person you still seem to think you are. You have more courage than anyone I've ever known, because you were able to leave the life you led for such a long time. You are also far more patient than I will ever be, and you have a calm that keeps me from acting like a frightened sparrow. If it would make you feel better, since you seem to think so badly of yourself, I could catalogue your faults, but that would be by invitation only." She saw a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Just stop wallowing in your self-loathing," she said firmly. "After a while, it gets annoying. You're much better company when you're not bashing yourself."

"You aren't revolted then? You have many reasons to be."

"No!" Anna exclaimed, exasperated. "Are you certain the transformation didn't take away your reason? It certainly seems to have done so!" She grabbed his shoulder so that he faced her. "Once and for all, will you accept that I don't care, that I know the person you are now, and that person is very dear to me?"

Kratos stared at her, and lowered her hand from his shoulder. "I have a hard time believing it," he said quietly.

"Excuse me? What makes you think that I don't mean it?"

"Anna, I don't mean that you seem insincere. It's just that I- I find it hard not to hate myself, when I think on my life, and I still am amazed that you don't feel the same."

His speech touched her profoundly. The quiet way in which he spoke made him seem so vulnerable. "If you feel so badly about it, why don't you tell me? Why don't you talk about it?" she asked.

Kratos smiled. "I'm not very good at talking, as you've noticed. It may be something I just have to learn."

Anna grinned. "I'm sure you will, as time goes on. The longer you stay around people, the more you'll learn that they like to talk, especially about themselves. I think you have a long way to go till then, but I have no doubt you'll learn."

He laughed, and Anna did the same. "It's good to hear you hold out some hope for me," he said lightly.

"Well, I have to, given that you seem to have so little hope for yourself. You need to understand that- oh, Kratos, there's so much more than hope for you! Do you understand how much you've changed me? It's because of you that I can be who I am now. I- I'm more myself, now that I know you." Overcome with shyness, she turned to Izoold, her face burning. "You give me so much hope, so much courage," she whispered. "If I have any hope for anything, it largely comes from being with you."

For a while there was a silence. Anna felt oddly relieved that she had spoken so openly. The encounter with the Desians had made her want to tell him just how much she cared for him, for fear that she might not get another chance. At last Kratos spoke: "Thank you for that, Anna."

She gave him a quick smile. "Well, it's true."

The morning sun helped ease some of the cold as they walked down to the village. As soon as they reached the center of the village, Anna noticed a small clothing store. She turned to Kratos. "I have to stop there," she said firmly. "It's far too cold for me to keep wearing a dress this thin, and I feel like I'm drowning in this coat of yours. Not to mention that this dress is split down the front. Are you going to come in with me?"

Kratos looked at her as though she had suggested he walk into a dragon's den. "Enough said, then," she answered, amused. She turned to the shop windows. Three saleswomen in matching uniforms were all staring at Kratos with adoring eyes. Anna whirled away from the window so they could not see her laughing. "You'll disappoint them so much, you know," she gasped, as soon as she had her breath back.

He rolled his eyes, causing her to laugh even harder. "I'll try and find a ship that's leaving the continent soon," he said. "It shouldn't take too long, so I'll meet you here in an hour. Will that be enough time?"

"I think so. It shouldn't take me too long to find a couple outfits that will hold up through a lot of travel. Good luck in your search."

Anna's stint in the shop was even quicker than she had expected. Sturdy clothing had been easy enough to find, and the saleswomen had warmed to her when they had established that she was nothing more than a friend to Kratos. When she left, she felt much warmer and less conspicuous, since she had a pair of dark pants and tunic, similar to those of the other women. She purchased spare items of clothing, and quickly went out of the store. Being around the women had made her feel shy. She had no idea how to interact with them. For the first time it hit her that she was truly cut off from such a simple existence. She could never go home to a small house, nor would she be able to talk with friends about what was going on in the town.

"Anna." She jumped at the sound of Kratos's voice. "There's a ship that's going to sail out in a few hours. It's late notice, but the captain agreed to take us across."

"Can we trust him? What if he turns on us like those other men did?"

Kratos led her to a deserted area of the street. "His father was killed by the Desians. He will not turn us in."

Anna raised an eyebrow. "How can you be sure?"

Kratos sighed, "When he asked me why I wanted to travel with him, I told him about our position. I didn't threaten him directly, but implied that his turning us in would have consequences. He didn't flinch, and told me then about what had happened."

"He could be lying."

"I don't think he was. I've met enough liars to know their different types. He rang true."

Anna nodded. "If you think he's honest, that's good enough for me. What do you want to do till then?"

Kratos looked around. "I would rather not stay in the town, if that's all right with you. I'm worried about how long it will take the Desians to get here. There's a beach that's near the docks, if you need nothing else here."

The strip of sand was about a mile away from Izoold's docks. It was cut off from the city by a shoal of rock that extended far out onto the bay. Anna sat down in the middle of the beach. The wind sprayed her with chilly water from the waves, and the whitecaps were blinding in the morning sun. Kratos remained standing beside her. She glanced up at him. "Why don't you sit down?" she asked.

He did so, giving her a searching look. There was a long silence. Anna felt saddened, though she scarcely knew why. Kratos seemed to sense this. Finally he asked, "Anna, are you all right?"

She began to trace patterns in the sand. "No," she answered quietly. "I don't know why, but I just feel…I feel as though we're fighting a battle we can't win. And I don't mean in the odds we face. But when I see so many people in that village living so happily, so cheerfully, even with so much suffering in the world outside- I feel so torn. I want the evils in this world to end, but at the same time, I want so badly to just live, to have no greater concern than what my neighbors are doing. That family, for instance- I want to cry every time I think of them, but then I actually grow jealous of them, horrible as that sounds. Despite what they've been through, they will have each other, they will have that bond. I want to condemn the people I see in the towns we pass through for not doing anything- but if someone were to offer me the chance of being in their place…oh, I don't know. I just don't understand what it is I was meant to do."

Kratos took her hand in both of his. "Not many of us do know what we were meant for, but all we can do is try to find out," he said. "And as regards your torn feelings- you have more right than anyone to want a life of safety. I have seen you endure things that no one should have to undergo, and there may even be other things you haven't told me." That, Anna reflected sadly, was certainly true. Kratos looked at the ground. His hair fell in his eyes and she could see little of his face. His voice sounded strangely distant as he continued, "If you wish it, there are some small villages where there are no nearby human ranches in the continent to which we're travelling. We could go to one of them, and see if you could live there."

"What about you?" Anna asked. "Would you stay?"

He shook his head. "I need to bring an end to what I've allowed. But you have already been through enough, and there is no reason for you to go through more than you already have. If we found a place nowhere near the Desians, you could probably settle there."

Anna realized with shock that he meant every word. She opened her mouth and closed it again. The possibility of putting the fear of capture behind her was so tempting. She thought of going to dances, chatting with neighbors, perhaps even having her own place to live. But Kratos would not be with her.

That thought shook her. Without him, she would be lonely no matter how many acquaintances she had. Even when she had been with Evan and Riata, she had missed Kratos's company. Anna had not been exaggerating when she had told him that she was more complete with him. She trusted him completely. His friendship was one of the most precious things she had. Even his laughter, rare though it was, never failed to fill her with happiness. How could she contemplate parting from him?

She looked down. His hands held hers, and she felt with shock that his hands were shaking. She took his hands in her free one. "Kratos," she said. Her voice trembled, and she fought to steady it. "Kratos, have I told you that you are one of the most amazing people I've ever known?"

He looked out at the ocean, but she could hear the smile in his voice. "No, you haven't. But in all seriousness, Anna, do you want to cut ties with this business? It would be risky, but not impossible."

Anna shook her head. "Not if it means cutting ties with you. You- you are the best friend I have ever had, and I don't say that lightly. If you wish me to go, then I will, but if the choice is mine, I want to remain with you."

He looked at her steadily. "Know this, Anna. I want you to stay with me, more than anything. But your danger will only increase if you stay. If you are serious about this, then you need to know that. But if you decide to stay with me, I promise I will protect you, I will keep you safe."

Anna smiled. "I know the danger. And as regards your protecting me- I've never doubted that you would."

Kratos raised an eyebrow at her. "Never?"

She laughed sheepishly. "Well, no. Perhaps at the beginning I thought rather the opposite. But I trust you now, and that's been true for a while."

He smiled. "Thank you."

For a while, they sat still. Finally Kratos let go of her hand and broke the silence. "Anna, I meant to give this to you, and- well- here it is." He reached into his coat and took out something small that glittered in the sunlight.

Surprised, Anna took it. It was a dark silver pendant, carved with flowers and vines. The chain was fine, and shone more brightly than the pendant it supported. Her fingers felt a small crack running around the rim of the oval. She noticed the small hinge, and realized it was meant to open. Gingerly she pushed apart the two halves that formed a thin compartment. It was empty.

Kratos winced. "I'm sorry," he said stiffly. "I didn't realize that something was missing."

Anna burst into laughter and put the necklace around her neck. "That doesn't mean it's incomplete," she said. "Nor does it mean that the thought behind the gift was any less kind."

"Still, if I had known, I would not have presented you with an empty locket."

Anna fingered the necklace. She had no idea how to convey how moved she was. "It's still a beautiful piece of work. I- I don't think I've ever had anything like this. I love it, truly."

Kratos said nothing. She gave him a sharp look and realized he still was embarrassed. With some desperation, she wondered how to get him to see how much the gesture had meant to her. A sudden impulse took her. With a quick motion, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. She retreated after a few seconds. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Thank you for everything."

He looked so astonished that she felt a momentary panic. Then he smiled, almost shyly. "That is quite a thank you for something so small."

Anna smiled, feeling a happiness so intense it frightened her. "It's also a thank you for a friendship that anyone would be blessed in having," she said lightly.

He put his hand on her cheek and brushed back her hair, which was whipping around her face wildly. Just before his lips touched hers, he whispered, "Then let me thank you for the same thing."


	16. Lucky to Know You

**I have three papers and a novel (I'm doing NaNoWriMo-50,000 words in a month) to write. Naturally I churn out this chapter. So... hope you like it.**

**AndieArmstrong: My friend who gets these chapters before I post (to point out my slip-ups) had the exact same reaction. Except she wrote it the way CommodoreZelda13 did. But she did go back and reread. And yay for rereading! More hits to the story!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I'm glad. You guys have no idea how nervous I was about the change to romance. So, yeah, thanks to everyone who reviewed to say they liked it! Makes me feel much better!**

**andy: I'm so glad you mentioned the 'not love at first sight' because I'm really trying hard to make this fic realistic. The manga- it was online, and my above mentioned friend (her name is Maria, and you guys have her to thank for this story, because I wouldn't have posted without her) downloaded it and gave me it on CD. That's how I came across the life-consuming monster that is ToS.**

**Jnaso: Did you see my opening a/n sentences? Your fault (partially). Hope that shows the power of reviews... And I had no idea how to write that scene at all when I first started. Trust me, it'll come on its own time. If your writing stays as good as it has been, I think your writing of that scene will blow everyone away (and send me into fangirl orbit). I have watched Tales of Fandom, and love it. It did help me a lot.**

**CommodoreZelda13: Yay! Aren't you happy? I wasn't kidding when I said romance was coming! And I'm so glad you like the updates. Is this soon enough? I hope so.**

**ToSDude999: Well, it is a romance, you know! That said, if it ever seems like it's getting sappy or cheesy, smack me (ie tell me) and PLEASE tell me why and what I'm doing wrong, so I can fix it. I don't mind sweet moments, but I don't want it to get mindless either. **

Kratos's head was still reeling from Anna's kiss as they walked up the gangway of the ship. He was not sure what he had expected her reaction to be, but what had occurred on the beach he would have dismissed as impossible, if he had been told of it beforehand. But he felt far happier than he ever had before, and could feel a smile pulling at his lips even as he remembered her touch and her words.

Anna seemed to notice the change in his demeanor, for she turned to him, laughed softly, and looked away. He asked what she was laughing at, which only made her smile. Kratos was struck by the change that had come over her. Her brown eyes were sparkling and every gesture she made radiated joy. He shook his head, amazed that apparently he could make her so happy. But now that he knew he could, he resolved never to miss another chance to do so.

The captain of the ship gave Kratos a nod as he passed. The crew members were helping passengers find their cabins. Kratos and Anna had a rather large one beneath the prow of the ship. It contained two bunks, a small bench built into the wall, and a table fixed to the floor with a lantern attached. It was austere, but not squalid. Anna threw her pack on the lower bunk and looked around. "This isn't as bad as the ship we came on earlier," she observed, looking at the blankets. "Though of course the memories of that voyage are a little tainted by what happened afterwards."

Kratos nodded. "Hopefully this voyage will not take as long as the last one," he said.

"I hope not. I don't think I've ever been so sick as I was that time. Although I'm not yet, so maybe that's a sign of better things to come."

Kratos smiled. "Or a sign that we haven't started sailing yet."

Anna burst into laughter. "I suppose that's possible too. But let me at least pretend I've gotten a little tougher since then."

"There's no shame in being seasick. I was too, the first time I went on the water."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "Really? I have a hard time seeing that, I have to confess."

"Well, it was…a while ago."

Anna nodded. "True, it would have been."

Something in her voice made him glance at her sharply. She looked thoughtful, but nothing else. With her usual suddenness, she met his eyes and smiled. He instinctively tried to fight down the smile that always came when she looked at him that way. But he could not quite succeed. She grinned. "What on earth do you think I'm going to do if you let yourself smile? You act as though it's something embarrassing."

He ducked his head and her laugh rang out in earnest. Embarrassed, he forced himself to meet her eyes. "What?" he asked, trying to match her light tone. "Have you never felt nervous about trying something new?"

She knelt and began to sort out the clothes from her pack. "What implication is there in that? You're nervous about smiling because it's new to you, yet don't have a problem giving me a kiss? How can you possibly be more practiced in kissing than in smiling?"

Kratos could not think of any response to that. Anna looked up at him, a very tender smile on her face. "I'm not serious, you do realize that," she said.

He nodded. "I just don't know how to carry on such a conversation. But I do enjoy it."

"If you enjoy it without participating, it's not much of a conversation." She yawned suddenly, covering her mouth with her hand.

For the first time, he noticed that her eyes were shadowed. He mentally berated himself. She had not slept for more than a day. "Do you want to rest?" he asked.

She drew a deep breath and shook herself. "Yes. But I'll try and unpack what little there is to unpack first."

"I'll go and pay the captain; we owe him extra for taking us on such short notice."

She nodded. Kratos left the cabin and made his way to the deck. The captain was standing alone beside the helm. He gave Kratos a quick glance. "Is the girl you were with the one you spoke of, the one who is hunted by the ranches?" he asked.

Kratos was tempted to ask who else she could be, but restrained himself. "Yes, she is. I have the payment you wanted."

The captain took the coins, commenting as he did so,"I only ask because I've never seen anyone from those places, even if they'd gotten out, look so…animated."

Kratos held in a smile. "She is unique in that, I think."

"Are you- how is she connected to you?"

There was only one lie Kratos could think of, and he spoke even as it came to him. "She's my wife."

The captain said no more. Kratos went back down to the cabin to tell Anna what had been said. It would make her laugh, and she needed to know in case passengers asked her questions. He opened the door and stopped. She was asleep, her head leaning against the side board of the lower bunk, a white shirt in her hands. In sleep she looked more vulnerable; Kratos could only look at her thin hands and small chin, and almost forget about how lively she looked when awake. When she was awake her smile and alert eyes gave an impression of brilliance that outshone how thin and frail she truly was. And she looked very frail now, slumped against the side of the bunk.

He lifted her gently and put her on top of the blankets. She stirred slightly, but did not wake. Once again he felt a twinge of guilt for not thinking of her exhaustion sooner. She accepted him and dealt with every trial that came from being with him so completely that he could almost forget that she was still a vulnerable human. Or was it that while with her he could forget his angelic nature? For a while he remained by the bunk. Then quickly he stood and went out of the cabin, shutting the door behind him.

There were only a few passengers on the ship. A couple with a small child, and a few merchants were the only other people who were not members of the crew. Kratos went to the deck. He stood on the prow of the ship, feeling the wind buffet his face. The ropes swayed and the rigging creaked as the ship began to sail. He breathed a sigh of relief. For a week at least, the Desians could not touch them. And if they could get to the other side, he was going to have to begin looking for a way to reunite the worlds. The only way for that to happen was that somehow, a human had to be able to use the Eternal sword. And he could not do it, for the only way to obtain the sword was to release Origin's seal, which would almost certainly kill him. The sword wielder would have to be Anna.

Kratos clenched the railing. He had no doubt she could command the sword, if they could arrange it so that it could be held by a human. But he had no idea how she was going to react when he told her, and he doubted that her response would bear any resemblance to what had happened on the beach. She would most likely be furious, then frustrated, and then- he smiled, feeling certain- she would tell him that there had to be another way.

Suddenly he felt a presence behind him. He spun rapidly, and saw a boy who looked about seven or eight years old. The child flinched at his rapid movement, staring awestruck at the sword Kratos carried at his side. Finally he asked, "What do you use that for?"

Kratos stared at him, feeling somewhat out of his depth. At last he answered, "I use it to fight monsters and others."

The boy's eyes widened. "Who do you fight?" he asked.

Kratos shrugged, trying to come up with something that would satisfy a small boy. "Sometimes things like wolves, or skeletons."

"Are they scary?"

Kratos nodded. "Yes, the first time, they were."

"But they aren't so bad now?"

Kratos shook his head. The boy stared up at him with wide eyes and asked, "What's your name?"

"…Evan."

"That's a good name." He paused, then looked back down at the deck, where a woman was beckoning him. "I should go, but I'll see you later!" He jumped down to the lower level of the deck.

Kratos felt relieved. It must have shown on his face, for when Anna's head appeared suddenly at the stairs, she burst out laughing. "That child is going to hero-worship you from now on, you do realize that," she said teasingly.

Kratos smiled. "How did you hear the conversation?"

"I came up from that stairway," she gestured to a hatch that opened very close to the level on which they stood, "heard you say something about wolves and skeletons, and immediately became interested. Why haven't I seen those battles?"

"I think they were before your time."

Anna grinned. "Probably. I woke just now, and I want to see if I can stay awake for a little while longer, or else I'll never be able to sleep normally again. At least we're moving." She paused and smiled. "And I'm not sick. I think flying has made being on a ship much more bearable." She turned and leaned back against the rail of the ship. "It feels nice to have other passengers," she commented. "Even if we can't get to know them too closely."

"Oh, Anna, that reminds me. You and I are husband and wife now," he said, trying to keep his face straight.

She blinked. "Really? I think I may have missed something between when I fell asleep and woke up."

Kratos stared at her, realized her implication, and felt his face burning. Anna burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. But I take it that was what you had to tell people to avoid suspicion. I understand." She pulled her tunic closer to her thin shoulders and her face grew more serious. "Kratos, you said when you had time that you would explain what has to be done to unite the worlds." He stiffened involuntarily and said nothing. Anna gave him a very sharp glance. "What's the matter?" she demanded. "I know you said that the split nature of things isn't the only problem, so what else do we have to do?"

He clenched his hands on the railing. "Yggdrasill split the worlds using something called the Eternal Sword, and we need to use that to bring them together. But the problem is that the sword can only be wielded by a half-elf."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "That's a problem, certainly, but why didn't you just tell me that when I asked on the mountain?"

Kratos clamped his lips together. She was watching him closely, and he realized that she knew he was evading her. Finally he said quietly, "That's not the only problem. Getting the sword will involve breaking the seal of Orgin, and summoning him, and we would need a summoner for that."

"I don't know who or what a summoner is, but I'm sure we could find one. Why does it worry you so much? Unless there's…is there something else?"

Kratos looked at the water. How could he possibly tell her that he would have to die for the spirit to be summoned, especially when she looked so hopeful now?

He felt her hand touch his shoulder. "Kratos? Kratos, what's the matter? I don't think I've ever seen you look…just sad, till now."

He stood upright, looking down at her. She was watching him intently, a faint smile on her lips, her brown hair blowing around her face. Feeling a little shy, he reached forward and smoothed back her locks. Her smile widened, and she held his hand to her cheek. "Your hands are freezing," she said lightly. "What's the matter? Kratos, what else do we have to deal with?"

In spite of himself, he smiled. "You won't stop asking, will you?"

She shook her head. "I'm still confused as to why you look like you've been put under a death sentence; going about this will be difficult, but I'm sure we can bring it about."

Kratos released his hand from hers, and stared at the deck. "Anna- to unite the worlds- it is almost a death sentence."

"What- what are you talking about?" Her voice was much quieter now, and she looked worried.

"When Mithos split the worlds, he wanted to make sure that he could seal Origin in such a way that no one could break it and reunite the worlds before he wished to do so. He wanted to make sure that the seal would last, and be unbreakable." He paused. The truth was that he felt afraid, far more afraid than he had ever felt. It was almost laughable that telling her he was the seal frightened him more than the thought of dying when the seal was opened. At last, he continued, "You know that I believed in what he did, that I wanted to try and help him. I chose to do my part to bring about his plan by becoming the seal."

Anna looked at him, her face completely devoid of emotion. "So if we break the seal to obtain the sword… you will have to be…"

"I have to release the mana in my body for the seal to open."

"What happens if you do that?"

He looked her in the eyes, afraid of what he would see there. "I will very likely die."

She stared out at the waves. "So when you promised me that you would keep me safe- did you mean it?"

Her voice stunned him, for he had never heard her sound so wounded. "Yes, of course I did."

She looked at him, and her eyes flashed angrily, "Given what you've told me, I doubt it."

Kratos had heard worse insults in his life, but such words from her were as shocking as a slap in the face. He looked at the deck. "I'm sorry you think so."

His words sounded more distant than he had intended. Anna sighed angrily and grabbed one of the ropes attached to the rail as the ship plunged into a trough. She said nothing for a very long time. Kratos finally turned to go back down to the cabin. As he did so, she called his name softly. He looked at her. Her eyes had lost their fire, and she looked almost defeated.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for acting like such a child. This…I just hadn't expected it. It's just that- weak as it sounds, I truly don't know if I could bear losing you. I've lost so much already. But I was acting like an idiot; I shouldn't have been angry with you."

Kratos felt an overwhelming sorrow for everything that had brought her to this point. He raised her head so that she was looking into his face. "Believe me, everything you have lost has been weighing on me for a long time now. And I am sorry too, sorry for everything that has happened. I want to mend it for you, if I possibly can."

Anna smiled, even as a tear slid down her cheek. Kratos wiped it away, and she laughed shamefacedly, "I've been crying so much for you lately. And I know. I was acting petty, just now, and I regret it. Just bear with me." She drew a deep breath, and sighed. "It never changes, being with you, does it?" she said with a sad laugh. "Every time I think you have nothing else to tell, you come up with something. What will it be next, I'm curious?"

"As far as I can remember, there isn't anything else about me that you don't know."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "No bizarre magical curse or liability, no deep personal confession? I don't know whether to be happy or disappointed."

Kratos looked at her for a long time before realizing she was teasing him. He smiled, "Honestly, Anna, there's nothing more. I know how hard that was for you to hear, but I promise, if I mean that much to you, I will not leave you."

Anna surveyed him with merry eyes. "You know, you can be quite eloquent if you put your mind to it. Why is it that now you've become such a wordsmith?"

"I have a reason to speak now."

She grinned, "What I like most about when you talk is that you mean each word you say. Words can just be distractions, or lies, but you never use them in that way." She paused and a thought seemed to come to her. Her brow furrowed. Slowly, she asked, "Kratos…when you first met me, when you took me into the woods…why did you tell me who you were? I'm glad you did, don't misunderstand me, but why would- why didn't you lie? Now that I think on it, what you did was risky, when you trusted me with the truth about yourself."

He shrugged, and came beside her, staring out at the ocean. Now that he thought about it, telling her the truth from the beginning was one of the strangest things he had ever done. It contradicted every habit he had acquired over his four thousand years. Finally he stirred himself to speak: "I think it may just have been that you…I was not expecting to meet someone like you, nor was I expecting you to react to me the way that you did. I was expecting, if anything, hostility, apathy, despair, or even lunacy. Instead, you were quite calm, and even cheerful. I don't know how to explain what I mean, but I think the fact that you are different from everyone I've ever known- I literally had no idea how to interact with you. And I do remember this: I did not want to begin by lying. I had done that enough over four thousand years."

Anna said nothing, but she moved a little closer to him. After a few moments she said slowly, "When I first met you, I had no idea who you were, or why you had come. You were…I had no idea if you were an enemy or whether you might be possibly be the miracle I never thought would come. You were strange because I could never tell what you were thinking. You seemed very impersonal, and yet not without character or integrity." She laughed suddenly. "In short, you confused me. And at times, you do still, though not for the same reasons. Now, though- now, I can't believe how lucky I am to know you, to have you as my friend."

Amazed, Kratos could think of nothing to say. In his mind, the luck was entirely his. But he recognized that it would be selfish of him to contradict her so bluntly. Instead he put his arm around her, and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Anna."

She laughed, as he had guessed she would. "Well, it's true." He felt her hand take hold of his. "And don't worry. There'll be another way to unite the worlds, to make them the way they should be. One that doesn't involve breaking you to get that sword."

He grinned. "I thought you would say that."

"Well, you know me pretty well."

Kratos smiled faintly. "When you say that you are lucky to know me- believe me, Anna, you can still surprise me."


	17. Forgiveness of Sins

**Don't kill me, guys. I'm sorry, I truly am. I won't take so long next time, I promise.**

**AndieArmstrong**** and CommodoreZelda13: Thanks so much for the encouragement! Once again, I am so sorry about how long this took. I really will make an effort to be quicker.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Oops. I completely forgot to say where they're going. But yes, Palmacosta was what I had in mind. It gets mentioned in this chapter.**

**Kiomori: Thank you for reviewing! I never thought about Lloyd resembling Anna in that- but you're right, I guess that is where he gets his sense of justice. I hope you like this chapter!**

**Jnaso: Oh no, doesn't Kratos say that his name is Evan? That was what I meant- was it that unclear? Shoot. Anyway, all that is is Kratos just giving an alias. And thanks for pointing out the grammar mess-up, I'll fix it when I get the chance. **

**andy: Thank you so much. Good luck with the manga- although I will say when I tried to read it online, I got these weird pop-ups which might or might not have had viruses. Just to warn you. **

**Thank you everyone, for reading and reviewing! I can't believe I'm saying this: but who will be my 50th reviewer? (The suspense...) Don't own. Enjoy!**

Anna felt her heart pounding. She had to tell someone, she had to warn them of something… no, she had to stop the Desian, but he was advancing on someone she could not see. She tried to scream, but nothing came from her throat. She did not know what she could do. Then she heard a roaring sound that filled her with terror.

With a gasp she sat up and immediately cracked her head against the top of the bunk. Bright light was shining through the porthole over the bench. The cabin was deserted. She drew a deep breath, and got up, the images of her dream fading rapidly in the morning light. A flash made her notice a mirror on one of the walls. She came in front of it, running her fingers through her dark brown hair. As she gazed at her face, a sudden idea came to her for evading the Desians in Palmacosta. She thought about it a little more, and squinted at her reflection as she tried to visualize the results of her plan. On the whole, she liked what she saw. Without hesitation she went to work.

It took her almost half an hour to finish, but the results were everything she had hoped. As she stood in front of the mirror, she heard the cabin door open and saw Kratos enter. Anna tried to hold back laughter as she turned around. For a moment he said nothing. Then his eyes widened. "Anna- Anna, what did you do to your hair?" he asked after a stunned, if short, silence.

When he said that, Anna could not hold back the burst of laughter that had been welling up in her. "Isn't it obvious? I cut it."

He stared at the table that stood underneath the mirror. "With a dagger?"

Anna grinned. "Well, there wasn't anything else at hand. Besides," she turned to the mirror and surveyed her newly trimmed hair, "I don't think it looks that bad. I only cut it to my chin; it wasn't much longer than that earlier. I know it's not exactly even at some points, but it makes my face look different enough that it should make me harder to recognize when we get to the city." She turned and saw that Kratos was still staring at her. "Does it really look that bad?" she asked.

Kratos smiled faintly, and shook his head. "No, not at all. But how were you able to do it by yourself?"

She shrugged. "It took a while, I will admit."

"You could have asked me to help you."

Anna felt it was her turn to give him a shocked stare, and did so. "What? N-no. I'm sorry, but the thought of you cutting my hair just- I can't see it. Besides," she laughed, "have you been cutting your own hair for the past however many years?" He nodded somewhat stiffly and Anna shook her head, still laughing. "Then frankly I think I'm better off as I am."

Kratos still looked somewhat uncomfortable. Anna sighed, realizing that she could not expect him to learn to laugh at himself so soon. She smiled, drew his head down to hers, and kissed him quickly. "But I do appreciate the offer, truly," she said as soon as she drew back.

He looked unsure of how to respond, which Anna had expected. Smiling to herself, she bent and began to gather up the strands of hair that had fallen all around the table. Kratos bent and helped her. With a murmured "Thanks" she gathered up the loose segments and rolled them in a piece of fabric she had torn from her old dress. She went to the door, intending to pitch the thing overboard.

Kratos caught her arm as she was about to go out. "Wait, Anna, there's one thing- I told that child that my name was Evan, and that's how the rest of the people know me now. Just- don't forget."

She gave him a quick smile. "All right, Evan." She made a face and added, "But can I say- that name does not suit you at all." Before he could reply, she slipped out of the cabin and up to the deck.

Anna tossed the small rag into the water and remained standing with her back to the railing, surveying the people on the deck. The child Kratos had spoken with yesterday was playing some kind of imaginary game. From the sounds he was making, Anna guessed it was a battle. She grinned as she watched him jump from side to side, swinging his arms and shouting challenges in his thin voice. His mother, a plump woman with faded blond hair, was watching him with an indulgent smile. Two sailors were lounging on the stairs that led up to the prow of the ship. One man was standing at the helm, with one hand on the wheel. He was looking leisurely at a compass. Anna wondered how he knew where the ship was to go, and looked up at the rigging. The ropes and pulleys were so complicated that she was amazed that anyone could understand how they worked.

Suddenly Anna sensed someone moving towards her, and looked up to see the mother of the child coming across the deck. She gave the woman a quick smile. The woman immediately quickened her pace and burst into chatter as soon as she came beside Anna.

"I've been wanting to talk with you, ever since I saw you come up!" the woman exclaimed. "I'll admit that I was quite relieved when I saw you! Not that I don't love my man or my boy there, but I think that a change of company can do everyone good. And I was afraid that I was going to have to spend this voyage surrounded by men. Although I don't think I would have minded that one of yours so much! The captain told me you two were married. How on earth do you keep him in line? With a face like that, I bet he has most every woman at his feet!"

Anna had been somewhat overwhelmed by the flood of words, but at the last comment she began to laugh so hard that she was almost doubled over. She gasped and tried desperately to control herself, since the woman looked somewhat stunned by her outburst. Taking a deep breath, she straightened herself with an effort, and said, "I've never really run into that problem. I never even would have thought of that. I haven't noticed anything, anyway."

The woman stared at her. "You never thought of that? Dear, how on earth could you not have noticed his face? At some point, you must have thought that his looks might bring you trouble."

Anna grinned. "Truthfully, I've never thought about his looks much."

At that the woman looked dumbfounded. "Really? I-oh. I had a hard time not staring at him myself. I suppose familiarity breeds contempt, then?"

"I- I suppose it does," Anna stuttered. She was feeling more and more lost. She desperately hoped the woman would change the conversation soon; already she was having doubts about her ability to pass herself off as a married woman. And she had even lower expectations for Kratos to act his part. Inwardly berating him for not coming up with an easier lie, she tried to change the subject: "Your child seems to be enjoying himself. Is he winning his fight, do you know?"

The woman immediately smiled proudly. "I think today he's defending us from Desians who are attacking us on our pilgrimage."

Anna blinked. "Your what?"

The woman gave Anna a curious look. "Our pilgrimage. We're going to Palmacosta for the pilgrimage there."

Anna hesitated, but then her curiosity got the better of her. "Could you tell me: what exactly is a pilgrimage?"

She blushed when the woman stared at her. "Where on earth have you- how can you not have gone on one? Most everyone in Sylvarant goes on one at some point, it's a big part of the Church!"

Anna chose her words carefully, not wanting to let slip that she had never even known the outside world until two months ago: "I didn't have a very traditional upbringing. Please- will you tell me more about it? The pilgrimage, I mean?"

The woman looked dubious, but then shrugged. "Well, all we really do is travel to the Church to visit the holy sites of Martel."

"That's it?" Anna asked, and immediately regretted her bluntness. But the woman did not seem offended.

"Well, it's just a way to show our respect for her, and honor the history that she's helped write. We establish a kind of connection with her that way; at least I think so. It's also a way to show that Martel's support of life here isn't without thanks. Some say, too, that it can lead to forgiveness of sins."

The woman's voice had grown softer throughout this speech. Anna felt a stab of pity as she realized how hideously twisted this system of Yggdrasill's was. These people based their whole lives on the product of his twisted fascination with his dead sister. For a moment, she contemplated telling the woman what she knew. But what good would it possibly do? None, save put her and Kratos in far greater danger. Besides, the woman would never believe her. Anna had had a hard time believing Kratos when he had explained the system to her, and the only memories she had had of the religion were the vague images from her childhood before the ranch. She had not lived her whole life with it, nor formed her beliefs around it.

A shout from the child made both Anna and the mother turn. "Evan!" the boy shouted again, and sprinted across the deck. Anna was utterly astounded to see him leap on top of Kratos and shout, "What took you so long?"

"I'm sorry!" Kratos exclaimed. "It took me longer to find than I expected." He produced a very small knife, with a leather sheath. The child scrambled off of Kratos's shoulders, and stared with wide eyes. Kratos held it towards him, but did not give it to him. "You remember that your mother only wants you to use when she or your father's around, right?"

The child nodded with bright eyes. "I know," he said firmly. "And she knows, she's right over there! So will you show me how to carve with it? Mom, can he?" He gestured to his mother, who was watching with indulgent eyes.

"Liam, did you say thank-you at all?" the woman called to her son. "And you shouldn't be taking up so much of Evan's time."

Kratos turned in her direction for the first time. "I don't mind," he answered. His eyes met Anna's and for a moment his expression conveyed such joy that she felt her heart turn over. She had never seen him look so contented or at ease as he was with this child. All she could do was smile at Kratos showing the child the niceties of carving a plank of wood. It was a sight she never would have thought to see.

The woman shook her head, and turned to her. "I'm sorry," she said, surprising Anna. She went on, "I don't think I ever gave you my name, nor asked for yours. I'm Ellen."

"I'm Anna."

Throughout the rest of the day, Anna and Ellen spoke together. Ellen did most of the talking, and Anna was content to listen. She liked hearing Ellen's stories about their life a few miles west of Izoold, in a tiny hamlet. Ellen's tales ranged from her next door neighbor's dog who had gotten into her chicken coop and killed almost all of her birds, to her husband's adventures as the local night watchman for the village. Anna hung onto every word, devouring every personality, every failing, every human quirk detailed in the housewife's words. But deep down, she felt a sadness that she would likely never know such a cheerful, contented existence. Almost unconsciously, she reached up and touched her chest, feeling the hard presence of the exsphere underneath her garments.

That night, after Ellen had left to put Liam to bed, Anna remained on the deck. There was no moon, but the starlight provided enough light. She wandered aimlessly on the deck, gazing out at the water. For the first time, she felt deeply how much the human ranch had robbed her of everything that would have allowed her a peaceful life. She was a fugitive, and would probably remain so for the rest of her life. With a sigh she remembered Kratos's offer to her that she could find somewhere to live. "I don't think I knew what I was giving up," she whispered to the sky.

Then she remembered Kratos's face as he smiled while helping Liam to carve the plank of wood. She shook herself. "No," she said more firmly. "I may not have known what I was turning down, but what I would have been giving up-that I did know. And I don't think I could stand having Kratos vanish out of my life." She looked down and spoke to the shifting water: "Whenever I see him happy, it makes me feel that much better. I wish I was more helpful to him than just saying whatever comes into my mind. He's changed so much from when he was the silent angel; he was so happy with Liam today. I wish I could- I want him to have that happiness all the time."

But try as she might, she could not shake a slight feeling of sadness. She looked at her hands, and felt overwhelmed by her ignorance of the world, and almost crushed by how difficult the task ahead of her and Kratos was. Could she even help in such a difficult mission?

After a while, she felt chilled to her bones. Shivering, she went down to the cabin. The flickering lantern filled the room with golden light. Kratos was seated on the bench, polishing his sword. He had taken off his dark blue coat, and looked less aloof without it. He looked up when she entered the cabin, and immediately noticed her face. "Anna, what's the matter?" he asked quietly.

Anna smiled and shook her head. "What is the matter?" she repeated wearily. "I don't know. I'm just tired, I think. And I don't know- just aimless thoughts are chasing me tonight. That's all." She sat down on the floor in front of the bunk and closed her eyes.

"You may just be tired," Kratos said after a while.

"Maybe. But I'm not- Kratos, if we somehow fix this world, will it really help?" She saw a look of surprise flash across his face, and went on, "It seems as though we'd end by making so many people unhappy. So many people are used to things the way they are, and I can't help but wonder if we'd only make their lives harder. The way they all believe Martel is a goddess, for instance- it seems like there would be more disillusionment than anything else. How would that help these people?"

To her surprise, Kratos's hands froze on his sword. For a moment he sat completely still. Then he set down the blade and put both his hands on the bench. She noticed with shock that his knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the bench. A small pit of fear formed in her stomach. "What is it?" she asked.

Kratos lowered his head and said in low voice, "Anna, how much did I tell you about the journey of Regeneration?"

Confused, she thought back to the night of her escape. "I think you said it was a tool of Mithos's. You said that the Chosen would break the seals of his or her own world so that mana could flow into his or her respective world. I think that was all you said."

He nodded once. "The chosen of Regeneration does break all the seals, but for one reason- to become a vessel for Martel. That was what I meant when I said Mithos was trying to wake Martel. He arranged the journey of Regeneration in the hopes of obtaining a body whose mana signature was close enough to hers that he can wake her. This goes on both in our world, and in the other. When the seals of a world are broken, mana begins to flow into that world, because of that person's journey. When the Chosen reaches the end, he or she has ensured that world will prosper for the next century."

Anna was silent for a very long time. "What happens to the person?" she finally asked.

"In many cases the journey failed; the person would die on the trip, killed by one of the many trials that face the Chosen: Desians, assassins, or monsters. If the journey reaches its conclusion, the person loses his or her soul, and becomes an empty shell for Martel."

"What?" Anna exclaimed. She was horrified, far more horrified by this revelation than by anything else Kratos had told her. "How long has this been going on?"

Kratos remained silent for so long she wondered if he had somehow not heard her. Then he answered, "Ever since Mithos established the Church of Martel, this journey has occurred at least once every one hundred years. More often, actually, since if the Chosen died, the next of the bloodline would take the place. Then that new person would commence the journey."

"What!" Anna shouted. "And you knew this?"

He nodded. Anna felt as though the ground had been torn out from under her. "How?" she whispered. "How could you let such a thing happen?"

"Anna, it is not solely because of your own strength that you are a stronger person than I."

She felt her hands shaking with rage, and she turned to him. "So sparing the feelings of a madman was more important to you than at least forty lives, if not more?"

Kratos said nothing. Anna felt her tears brim up in earnest. She tried desperately to hold them back, but could not do so. Even as her tears spilled over, she felt her anger dying. All she could feel now was an overwhelming sorrow. "So that's why we need to fix the world," she whispered. "No illusion is worth a life."

"Anna, believe me- I wish I had understood that sooner." Kratos's voice startled her, and she looked at him. For one moment his eyes met hers, and she realized that this might be part of the reason for the vicious self-hatred in his voice when they had spoken just after Asgard. Anna rubbed her arms. This wounded her far more than anything Kratos could have told her about himself. A great deal about him was shown in this revelation, and Anna was not sure she could endure what she had found.

At last she got up and tried to think of what to say. Even as she struggled with words, she remembered that never once had Kratos lied to her. She clung to that as she came and stood in front of him.

"Kratos- Kratos, are you sorry?" Anna knew how childish the words sounded, but she could not think of anything else to ask. She had no words to describe what she meant, and hardly knew what she expected him to say. All she knew was that his answer would determine whether or not she remained with him.

He stood, and looked at her. "Anna, I am. But is that something you can forgive? Would you understand now, if I asked for your forgiveness, for yours alone?"

Anna closed her eyes. Never in all her life had she expected to have a friend, let alone one who would not leave her, and who would help her. But would she have become friends with him, had she known that he had allowed something like this?

For a long time she was silent, struggling with herself. An atrocity like that made her want to turn away from him altogether. But could she? She thought back to when she had been making the fire for the first time, when he had shown her how to use his sword, and how she had gradually begun to talk to him more and more, hardly noticing the change in the way she saw him. Now he seemed to truly understand how blind he had been. Then she thought of trying to tell him that she would not stay with him, that she would leave him. She could not even begin to imagine it.

At last she spoke, and her voice cracked from her suppressed tears: "When I first met you, you were a silent angel, and I had no idea what to make of you, and I never expected to understand you. I don't know when that began to change, but I- I can't see the silent angel anymore. The only person I can see is Kratos Aurion, who has done more for me than I can ever tell him. That-that's a rather poor way of saying that I…I do forgive you, that I will always forgive you and hold out hope for you, no matter what happens. I've never known anyone quite like you, and I never will again."

She could barely keep in her tears now. But she was utterly astounded when she saw Kratos draw a shaky breath, almost as though he were close to tears himself. Without hesitation, she embraced him, and he held her so close that she feel his heart beating. But he released her after only a moment. Anna could not restrain a smile when she saw that his hands were shaking. He noticed, and smiled faintly himself. "Thank you." His words sounded heartfelt.

Anna smiled more fully. "Nothing more to say than that?" she said.

"There's nothing more I can say."

"Fair enough. Then I suppose I had better just say 'Goodnight'," she whispered. Reaching up, she kissed him quickly on the cheek, and turned away. Without another word, she blew out the light.


	18. Palmacosta

**So my computer has been acting bizarre with this chapter; it saved it, didn't save it, I rewrote the whole thing, lost that, found it again, and just now it disappeared again. Thank heaven I uploaded it to this site while I had it. So please bear with me while I'm sorting out my computer issues- this kind of thing makes me really mad. Plus I have finals coming up, so I'm not sure how soon my next update will be. To my reviewers:**

**andy gets the 50th reviewer prize! Which is...me being eternally grateful. Not much, is it? Many apologies. **

**CommodoreZelda13: Thank you! I had so many difficulties with that chapter- just trying to get the feel of it right. And I don't really know why everyone on this site seems to think Kratos would be bad with kids; he never gave me that impression :) Hence that detail with Liam.**

**andy: I already talked to you. Just kidding. But keep reviewing- reviews make me do happy dances... Which is really not a good reason to review. Moving on. **

**AndieArmstrong: Wow, you're impatient. He only recently kissed her, and even there Anna had to start it first! Take it easy. And why were you laughing? I think I need to look over my writing, especially if you were laughing at the end; that would mean I'm doing even more wrong than I thought possible.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Any review is good with me! I know what you mean about her staying or leaving, but she really has a lot to deal with in Kratos. Don't know how she does it...**

**One last thing- if anyone spots typos or mistakes, I'd appreciate it if you let me know. If you think my writing could stand improvement, which it always could, tell me! As always, I love you all for reading and reviewing. My hits soared when I hit the 50+ review mark, so huge thanks to everyone who got me there! **

As soon as Anna's breathing slowed to an even rhythm, Kratos buried his head in his hands. He was so stunned by what had transpired that he could barely wrap his mind around it. Throughout the first part of their journey, he had felt that at least his protection of Anna was enough to repay his debt to her for making him smile and giving him resolve to mend the world. But now he felt that nothing he could do could equal her forgiveness of him. He had almost forgotten that she did not know the full extent of his guilt, and as he explained it to her, he had expected to see hatred in her eyes. Instead- he smiled, amazed- she had embraced him. And kissed him.

Kratos shook his head as he replayed every word in his mind. What shocked him almost as much as Anna's reaction was the fear he had felt at the thought of her rejection. He accepted that he was attached to her. But somehow this attachment had grown so deep that he could not face the thought of her leaving without anguish. But why? What was it about Anna that set her apart from every other being he had known? When he had seen her weeping, all he had wanted to do was comfort her, and knew he could not because he was the cause of her sorrow. But how was it possible that growing close to her could change him so deeply?

"Or perhaps it is not that I have changed because of her," he whispered to the dark. "Perhaps it is that she has shown me to myself. And I am hard to recognize, after four thousand years."

He stared into the darkness for a long time. There was one thing that he thought he could do for Anna, and that was simple enough. He could defend her from the dangers that beset her, and try to be as much of a support to her as he could. It still seemed an inadequate repayment, but it was the only thing that he could think to do. He still was unsure how to deal with the fact that she had come to mean so much to him. But he could not think of her words without a rush of joy that was completely foreign to him. Throughout the rest of the night he tried to understand how a young girl, who he had expected to disappear from his life, could suddenly come to hold his happiness in her friendship. For the first time he felt at a complete disadvantage as an angel; Anna's human heart was a mystery to him, despite her openness. But he could start to try to comprehend her, understand her joys, her sorrows, and perhaps begin to share them with her.

The voyage to Palmacosta passed quickly. Kratos spent much of his time with Liam, who was the only person on the ship apart from Anna who had no fear of him. The boy's mother had monopolized Anna, talking with her for hours on end. Kratos had no idea how Anna could endure such mindless chatter, but she seemed to take it with good grace. At any rate, she never complained.

The ship arrived in the city on a dim morning that smelt of rain. As they drew closer to it, Kratos could hear the cries of sailors on the docks as they made ready to sail. An icy wind blew in from the harbor. The buildings loomed up into the gray sky, looking dark and grim.

Anna looked at the city with distaste. "This whole place looks so dirty," she said. "How many people live here?"

"I believe a good many," Kratos answered. "I don't know that the place always looks so inhospitable. The coming of winter may have something to do with it."

"Oh it does!" Ellen's voice rang out behind them. Kratos clenched his teeth with annoyance, but Anna smiled as she turned to the woman.

"You've come here before then?" Anna asked.

"Oh yes, and it's much nicer in the early summer. The heat isn't too bad, and there's a lot of trading and ships going in and out, a lot of visitors. The city looks much brighter then."

Anna laughed. "I would imagine most places would. How often have you come to this city?"

"Oh, we've made the pilgrimage often enough." Kratos saw Anna's eyes flicker, and her hands tensed a little. But she made no other sign, and Ellen noticed nothing. She went on telling Anna about the various pilgrimages she and her family had attended. Kratos could tell the conversation was making Anna more and more uncomfortable, but he was not sure how to extricate her. He was saved from having to when the ship hove into port. The ship's crew motioned them out of the way as they made the gangplank ready.

Ellen returned to her cabin to gather up her family's baggage. Anna already had her pack on her shoulder. She seemed to feel Kratos's eyes on her, for she looked up and gave him a quick smile.

The dock was soaked from rain and slimy from sea water. When they reached solid ground, Anna and Ellen said goodbye. Kratos would have liked to have said goodbye to Liam, but he was sound asleep on his father's shoulder, and the angel did not like to wake him. The family walked toward the cathedral, which was near the outskirts of the city. Kratos began to walk to the main entrance to the city, where most of the travelers made entry. But he realized that Anna was lagging behind him. She was watching the family as they disappeared along a street that led to the north part of the city where the cathedral was. The look on her face was so forlorn that Kratos was surprised. He would have expected Anna to be relieved to be free of the housewife's incessant talk. But he had a feeling saying so would anger her, so he held his tongue, and they went into the city together.

They reserved a room at one of the inns that abounded near the edge of the city. The clerk looked sleepy, and grumbled as he gave them the key to their room. The stairs were rickety and the hallways dark. But the rooms looked passable enough. There were two narrow beds, with a nightstand between them. A large window was in the wall opposite the door. The washroom was very small, but clean. Anna threw her pack on one of the beds. She looked somewhat sad still, and Kratos felt annoyed with himself for not knowing how to cheer her. After a long pause, he said, "I'm going to try to find a library of some kind here. If I find something, I'll probably stay there for a while. Do you want to come, or would you rather stay here?"

"I think I'd rather stay here," she answered quietly. She looked at the nightstand and picked up something that had lain on it, turning it in her fingers. The object was a small bracelet of red glass beads. She gave it a rather sad smile. "Someone forgot this," she said, turning to Kratos.

"It's yours now, then," he answered with a smile.

She laughed a little, and went to the window, twisting the jewelry in her hands so that it sparkled a little in the light. Kratos thought she looked beautiful, with the gray morning light giving her pale face a delicate air. She looked up and met his gaze. He immediately looked away so she would not catch him staring at her, but he could see her smiling out of the corner of his eyes.

"I'm going to go now," he said, sounding stiffer than he had expected.

Anna did not seem to care. "Good luck," she replied. "I'll probably look for supplies later today."

Kratos nodded. "Be careful."

"Of course."

Kratos hesitated for a moment before asking: "Is something the matter, Anna?"

She shrugged. "Not really. It's just so sad to see that family devoting themselves so much to a lie. And I have to admit, too, that-well, I just envy them how peacefully they live. They don't have much to trouble them."

"I know. I'm sorry that I've made it so hard for us both."

Anna's head shot up. "If I have to have this argument with you again, I think I'll throw something at you."

Kratos smiled. "All right, I'll spare you the trouble."

"Good. You'd probably make me look like an idiot anyway, given that you could probably catch or dodge whatever I threw." She smiled at him with that suddenness that had lately begun to make his heart race. Embarrassed, he looked away, and Anna burst out laughing. After a minute, he joined in her laughter, amazed at how easily such emotions came when he was with her. He said goodbye and went down into the street. The sky had grown a little lighter, but the clouds showed no sign of lifting. He stopped to ask a street vendor if there was a library in the town. The man told him that there were two, one for the people and one owned by the church. Kratos asked which was the older, and was told the cathedral had the more ancient of the two libraries, though its books were less in number.

So he set out for the cathedral. Getting to the place was difficult, since it was surrounded by nameless streets and small wooden buildings that all looked the same. It was nearly mid-morning when he finally came up the steps of the huge stone building. Once inside, an elderly priest whose hands shook with age led him to a series of rooms. There were three in all, all connected, and all lined with ancient books. Perhaps among this collection there was some scrap of information that had evaded Yggdrasill, that could lead to his downfall.

Kratos spent several hours with the books, but almost all of them were theological treatises on the moral teachings of the Church, none of which had any relevance to the history of the Church's founding. After searching the first room and almost all of the second, he discovered a book that dealt with the entire history of the Church. Kratos was concerned with only the beginning, and that had taken place so long ago that the author had characterized it as myth. But there was one passage that he found interesting. It told of the hero Mithos's pact with the goddess, and mentioned that the hero had sworn to defend the world "by the sword he carried, and the ring of his seal."

There was nothing else of interest in the book, for it then began to describe the missionary work of the Church. Kratos set the book down, thinking hard. The sword of the hero was very likely a reference to the Eternal Sword that had been garbled by time and the lies of Yggdrasill. But the ring- the reference to the ring might or might not mean anything. Mithos, as far as he could recall, had had no ring of any kind when he had used the Eternal Sword. Nevertheless, it was something to remember, for it was odd that the writer should point out such a detail.

Kratos found the priest to see if he could take the book with him. The old man was apologetic, but insisted that it was not allowed. Not wanting to call attention to himself, Kratos told him he would return the next day and went outside.

He was shocked to see that it was midafternoon. He had spent longer with the books than he had intended. As he came nearer to the center of the city, he continued to overhear conversations that mentioned the Desians, which was surprising because of the distance to the nearest human ranch. He walked on, catching bits of conversations.

But one exchange stopped him dead in his tracks. It took place at a coffee stand where a young woman was serving a man. As the girl handed over the cup, the man said, "So did you see the Desians coming through here? I heard they were in a nasty mood, but in a hurry."

"I did," the girl answered. She brushed her hair behind her ears and went on, "It was quite strange. They came through normally enough, military style and in formation, but then forty-five minutes later came sprinting back again, as though they had a pack of demons behind them. It was really weird; I think they were chasing someone, they shouted something to the effect that somebody couldn't have gone far. I wish whoever they were chasing luck."

The man she was talking to winced. "Don't say that so loudly," he muttered. The coffee-girl shrugged her shoulders.

Kratos was standing in growing fear. At that he turned and began to walk to the inn as fast he could, pushing through the crowds without courtesy. The Desians had been in the city. If they found out that either he or Anna were there- he had to get back to Anna. They had to leave at once. The risk was too high, there were too many prying eyes in the city.

When Kratos reached the inn, small groups of people were standing outside the inn, talking in low voices. One of the doors was ajar, and several of the bystanders were looking around, craning their heads at the streets. Kratos felt his fear mounting. He grabbed the shoulder of one man who was standing near the inn. "What's going on here, what happened?"

"The Desians came here," the man answered. "They were looking for some wanted person who apparently was here, but when the bastards came, they didn't find who they were looking for. They beat up the innkeeper pretty badly; some people are with him, but we're waiting for a doctor now."

Kratos ran up the steps and through the door. A door in the back of the lobby was open, showing a room with several people inside. Kratos went forward. "Get out of the way," he said coldly to the two men who tried to shove him out. "I need to talk to that clerk, assuming he's not unconscious." He glared at the two until they stepped back.

As soon as the two men at the door fell back, the rest stepped aside to let Kratos through. On a couch against the wall lay the man who had given Kratos and Anna their room that morning. His face was bloody; his head had been battered and he looked as though he had taken a severe beating. He was holding a rag to his face which partially covered his eyes. When he saw Kratos, he cringed, and tried to raise his hands. "I never, I never meant- don't do anything to me!" he almost whined. His voice was ragged, and he sounded absolutely terrified.

Kratos looked at him with disgust. "You turned her in, did you not?" he said. "You told the Desians that their lost experiment was in your inn, waiting for them. So what happened? Where is she?"

"I don't know!" the clerk almost wailed. "I don't know! She never came down, she never left, but when they went up to her room, she wasn't there, and they came down and told me I was going to pay for lying to them. I don't know what happened!" But Kratos had already left the room. Every person stared after him, but no one had the courage to try to stop him, or question what he was doing with a wanted experiment.

Kratos ran up the stairs. He had no idea how Anna could possibly have gotten out, but he needed to make sure that she was not, by some strange chance, still hiding in the inn. Once in the hallway, he called her name, but there was no answer. Then he came to the door of the room they had reserved. It had been smashed in. Kratos stepped over the threshold and felt a crunch under his boots. He looked down and saw red glass beads scattered on the floor, close to the broken door. He turned the door and saw a gleam in the dull black metal of the lock. He bent to examine it. The keyhole had been filled with glass beads that he recognized as part of the bracelet Anna had found. A cold draught made him look to the window. It was wide open. Had she gone out that way?

He ran to the window and looked down. The drop was short for a second story window, and looking down into the mud below, he could see two deep imprints directly beneath the window. He shook his head, amazed. She had jammed the lock with beads from the bracelet and then had jumped. She must have gone out of the city. But the Desians who had run past the coffee-stand girl had said that she could not have gotten far.

Kratos almost ran to back to the stand. The girl was starting to put away her coffee pots and cups, and she did not look happy to see Kratos run up to her. Without preamble he asked, "Awhile back, before the Desians came by you, did you see a girl pass you, a girl with-" He paused, struggling to remember- "a white tunic, dark leggings? She was small, with short brown hair."

The girl stared in some surprise, but answered readily, "Yes. I remember because she came by, and she was limping a little. She looked like she was in pain, but was still going at a pretty good pace. She went out to the north exit of the city, but I don't know where she was going."

Kratos nodded, and with a muttered "Thank you" walked quickly in the direction the girl had told him. He had no way of knowing how long ago the Desians had come through. If their arrival had been only minutes ago, he had to reach Anna before they did. And if they had come hours before, he had to try and find them as quickly as possible. If Anna had hurt herself in the fall, she was at even greater risk.

That thought spurred him to walk even faster. As soon as he came outside the confines of Palmacosta, he began to run, ignoring the stares of the other travelers. He had left Anna alone once, and that had almost been disastrous. He could not leave anything to chance now, he had to find her. And with that in mind, he soon vanished from the sight of the city, a distant figure against the cold sky.


	19. Captured

**Bragging time! I finished NaNo! Well, wrote 50,000 words in November. It counts. Anyway, I had a hard time with this chapter, but I didn't want to leave it until next week, since after I update this, I'm going to be writing papers and studying like a maniac. So here it is!**

**Kiomori: You will find out...Basically just start reading! :)**

**CommodoreZelda13: I know, I know! I'm sorry. Really. I've been pretty good about avoiding cliffhangers, but at least I know you'll come back to read...**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Thank you! I liked that line a lot. Why, I don't really know. I just did.**

**andy: I'm glad you like it! One thing I always noticed about Kranna fics was that there's a lot of initial mistrust, but then all of a sudden, they're together. It's something I never really quite got, so I'm trying to keep mine real. And I do think Kratos would take a while to figure out what's going on with him and Anna. Which I personally think is really cute. **

**As always thank you for reading! (and reviewing) I don't own anything. Enjoy!**

Anna huddled at the base of a huge tree. When the Desians had come to the inn, she had barely had time to hear them coming, and had been trapped in the room when they came. Stuffing the lock with beads had been nothing more than an effort to delay them a little. But she was not sure how much it had helped. As soon as she had rigged the lock, she had jumped out the window, and in doing so had twisted her knee. She felt sure that the time she had lost in limping out of the city was greater than the time the Desians had been delayed by the lock.

But at any rate they had not discovered her. Anna had gone out of the city to the north, where, after going over a hill, the road wound around a small forest. She had hidden herself deep within it, hoping that the Desians were not good trackers. And it appeared that the ones pursuing her were not; she had been in the woods for almost two hours, and had heard and seen nothing.

She shivered in the wind and thought about Kratos. Was he going to be able to find her? If he went to the inn, he would find out that the Desians had found her. But he would have no way of knowing where she had gone. Was it safe for her to try to slip back into the city and find him?

Shivering in the wind, Anna stood up and immediately fell down again. The pain in her knee had grown to a dull ache that made walking almost impossible. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the cold trunk of the tree and rose. She had not taken the pack off her back when she had jumped, and it felt impossibly heavy. With an effort, she straightened herself up and began to hobble towards the road.

After some minutes, Anna could see glimpses of the road between the trees. Then she froze, and retreated behind an enormous trunk. It forked into two sections at almost the height of her head. She stood on her toes and peered between the cleft. There was a patrol of Desians standing in the middle of the road. Clearly there was some kind of dispute between them. Three of them were being lectured by the leader of the unit. Anna strained her ears, but could only catch "No time for every report…let the higher ups deal with…project."

One of the Desians being lectured mumbled something about "he's defying…still haven't found…" and received a tongue-lashing from his leader that was lost on the now screaming wind. Anna wished that they would settle their fight and leave. Even as she thought this, the rebellious group appeared to capitulate. The patrol settled their ranks, and in doing so revealed a sight that made Anna gasp.

Amongst the larger group of Desians were three prisoners huddled together. One of them was a young woman with thick black hair, and the other two were boys who looked so much alike that she could only assume they were related. Their clothing was in good repair, so Anna guessed that they were newly captured. Two half-elves were holding spears at their necks. She stared at them, stricken. Even as she watched, the patrol moved out of her range of vision and disappeared down the road.

She made her way out of the forest as fast as she could, heedless of the branches and roots that caused her to stumble. But the pack bore down on her, and every step made the pain in her knee worse. Anna staggered out of the forest just into time to see the Desians disappearing over the cusp of another hill, heading away from the city.

Furious tears ran down her cheeks. The wind made her face feel colder than ever. For a while she stood, trying to calm herself. Eventually her sobs slowed and her breathing grew steadier. Her anger was unabated, but tears would not help the prisoners. Yet what could she possibly do to help them? The pain in her knee was almost unbearable, and even if she caught up with the Desians, she had no weapon and had not practiced fighting for a long time. "I'm helpless," she whispered, fury coursing through her. "Just as useless and weak as I was in Asgard! Is there no end to this?"

"Anna!" At the sound of her name, she jumped violently, and her knee buckled. With a cry she fell to the ground, trying to avoid landing on her leg. She looked up and saw Kratos coming down the hill towards her. She was surprised and touched to see that he was running.

In only a few seconds he was kneeling beside her. "Anna, what happened?" he asked. "Where- do you know the Desians are after you?" His voice sounded less calm than usual; indeed it was laced with relief.

Anna burst out laughing. "Why do you think I left you without even trying to find you? Of course I knew! I almost walked down on them; they came to the inn."

Kratos nodded. "I know. That was how I found out. The innkeeper contacted them somehow." He looked at her sharply. "Are you hurt at all? I spoke to someone who said that they had seen you limping."

"My knee," she answered simply. "I fell badly on it, when I jumped out the window." Kratos nodded and began to heal the joint.

Anna watched him with a grin. "You don't seem surprised when I say I jumped out of a window," she said.

Kratos shook his head and gave her a faint smile. "I guessed as much when I saw that the window was open. Is that better? I think you tore a ligament, so it's not a perfect healing, but you should be able to walk."

Anna rose to her feet. There was still some pain, but now all she felt was a slight twinge. "Thanks," she said, and turned to where the Desians had gone. "We need to hurry, we're far behind."

Kratos stared at her. "Behind who, Anna?"

"The Desians!" Anna exclaimed. For a fraction of a second Kratos looked astounded, and she quickly went on, "The Desians had some prisoners, and they took them over that way, away from Palmacosta. We need to help them."

"Anna, we should not be going anywhere near the Desians at this point, they know you are in this area. We need to get as far away from them as possible."

Anna folded her arms. "And just leave those people to be taken to a ranch?" she demanded.

Kratos's voice took on an emotionless tone which made her furious. "There's nothing we can do to help them. There are only two of us, and I'm the only one who has a weapon."

"So you have the ability to help! Why won't you?"

"Two of us against one Desian patrol? Anna, do you have any idea how foolish it would be for us to try to stop them? It would be one against several-"

"Two," Anna snapped.

"_One_ since you would be nothing more than a liability in such an encounter. And the Desians could easily turn the attack to their advantage, since they could use the prisoners against us."

For a time there was a silence. Anna stared at the ground. She knew that Kratos was right, but the thought of leaving the prisoners was unbearable to her. At last she looked up at Kratos. "I lived my entire life in a human ranch, and I will never be the same for it. I would not wish that life on anyone. If we let those people go, I will never forget it, or stop regretting it."

Kratos clenched his hands. "Anna, this is imprudent beyond belief."

At that, Anna could no longer restrain herself. "If allowing them to go to the ranch without doing anything to help is prudence, I would rather be a reckless idiot! Are you going to come with me, or are you going to stand by again?"

She saw his mouth set itself in a thin line. When he spoke, his voice was icy: "I'll come with you, but I wish you would think this over."

Anna shook her head. "Don't ask me to do that," she said without anger. "One of the things I regret most about my life in the human ranch is the fact that I never tried to do something about the evils there. I can't let this go, Kratos, I can't."

Her companion lowered his head. "Then we should go," he said quietly. "As you said, we're behind."

Half an hour later, they saw the patrol marching on the path ahead of them. The city was miles behind them now, and the landscape had drastically changed. The rolling hills had been replaced by rock. On the left side of the path, there was a cliff that had fallen rocks scattered at different heights at the bottom. On the right side, there was nowhere to hide. The Desians were several yards ahead of them. Kratos grabbed her arm to slow her down. "Anna, we have to think this through. Attacking here would be foolish, there's nowhere for us to hide and you have nothing to use as a weapon."

"What do we do, then?" she asked.

"I think follow them as we are, until we reach terrain where we can hide." Suddenly his grip on her arm tightened. Anna looked at the Desians. They appeared to be having trouble with their prisoners; one at least seemed to be resisting. Two of the Desians were pulling at the arms of the prisoner, while the others looked on.

Kratos began to drag her back. As they retreated, one of the Desians looked up. Anna could not hear what he shouted, but the entire patrol whipped around and stared at them. Then three of them began to run towards the two of them. Kratos shoved Anna behind him and drew his sword.

When the Desians came close enough to recognize Kratos, all of them slowed down and looked hesitant. Anna stepped back as Kratos sprang forward and attacked. A stroke of his sword swept the shield of the first Desian aside, and a thrust ended his life. But the other two had their weapons ready. One of them sprang at Kratos from the side. As the angel turned to face his attack, the other came behind him, sword in hand.

Anna had seen enough. She dropped her pack and ran towards the dead Desian. He had a long knife in his belt, which she swept up. Kratos used his sword to force the first Desian several feet backwards and turned to face the other. As he did so, Anna saw the first half-elf running towards Kratos from behind. She drew breath to warn him, but with terrifying speed Kratos whipped around and plunged his sword into the oncoming soldier's throat.

Anna barely saw this, as she was concentrating on the second Desian who was between her and Kratos. With his back to her, the half-elf raised his sword, exposing the underside of his arm and lifting his armor a little. With a thrust Anna buried her dagger deep into his shoulder, causing him to shriek as he dropped his sword. Kratos finished him before there was time to think. His eyes met Anna's for a brief second. "The prisoners," he said quickly, before turning towards the seven remaining Desians.

Anna looked around, and saw that the Desians had left them standing next to the cliff, as they prepared for battle with Kratos. She ran to their side and saw with relief that they were bound rather than chained. Quickly she cut their bonds. The woman stared at her with her mouth open. She seemed to struggle with words, and then, to Anna's astonishment, turned and fled back in the direction of the city. After a startled glance at the scene of battle, the boys followed suit.

For a second or two, she stared after them, amazed and annoyed. Then she turned back in time to see one of the half-elves cast a spell. He shouted words she could not catch, and spread his hands.

Rocks burst from the ground in front of her, cutting her off from Kratos. She threw her arms up out of instinct, and tried to turn away. But as she did so, another rock slammed into her, throwing her several feet backwards off the edge of the cliff.

Anna barely had time to see the cliff rushing past her. At the point where she had been standing, the rocks at the base of the cliff were fairly high, so the distance to them was not great. But the drop was enough that when she struck them, she felt a crack in her ribs. Even as she felt a stab of pain, she fell again, this time landing hard between two narrow upright slabs. The back of her head cracked against one of the rocks, sending her into instant darkness.

When she woke, she was lying on her back, staring up at a rock ceiling. For a long time she lay still, watching shadows flicker on the smooth surface. Her head ached, and if she opened and shut her eyes, she felt as though her skull were being stabbed. She lay still for as long as she could. At last she summoned her energy and asked, "Kratos, where are we?"

"Kratos isn't here." A voice she did not recognize came from a short distance away. Shocked, Anna sat upright. Immediately she felt a horrible pain lance through her side, and her head spun. She laid a hand on the ground to steady herself, and looked around. She was lying in a cave by a small fire. Outside, it was clearly nighttime. A man was standing with his back towards her at the entrance to cave. Because of the fire, she could see little of him.

"Where is he?" she asked after a moment.

"Captured," the man answered without turning around.

"What?" Anna exclaimed. "How is that possible? Where is he now? How could he-" She tried to stand but the pain in her side exploded, and she collapsed to her knees. The man turned around, and she caught a glimpse of sharp green eyes and a narrow face before the pain in her head forced her to shut her eyes.

"Calm down." She heard the man walk towards her. She looked up to see him staring down at her. "Calm down," he repeated. "He told me to come after you."

Anna stared at him in horror. Had Kratos betrayed her? Was that possible?

The man seemed to read her thoughts. He sat down opposite her. "And so you know," he added, "this was the only way out that we could see. The only way we could avoid having to bring him back to Yggdrasill directly. With me holding him captive, we can delay a little and perhaps work something out. Kratos told me to make certain that you were all right, and to see to it that you avoided capture. As long as you can manage that, we can probably get him out with minimal danger."

Anna stared at him warily. "How do I know that I can trust you? Who are you?"

The man shrugged. "I haven't turned you in, and you wonder if you should trust me?"

"Yes, when you tell me that you are holding my best friend captive."

The man stared at her with an expression that Anna found infuriating; it contained mockery and amusement shot through with bitterness. "Your best friend? Oh, you oblivious girl. Not that he's much better than you are; he wouldn't listen to me either."

"What are you talking about?" Anna snapped.

"Nothing," the man said with a smirk. Anna contemplated slapping him, but restrained herself. The man ignored the sudden motion of her hand and went on, "Anyway, don't worry about him. He's all right where he is, and he won't be hurt. Trust me, Anna. He's fine."

Anna threw back her head. "So he told you who I am?"

The man rolled his eyes and stood up. "Yes, Anna, he did. As long as you don't do anything foolish, you should be on the mend in a few days. And when that happens, I'll do what I can to get Kratos out. Until then, the best thing you can do for him is to listen to me."

"I'm afraid I'll need more assurance than that," Anna answered drily. "For all I know you could be trying to use him to rope me in."

"I'd be going about it quite inefficiently, if that were the case," the man answered. "And if anything, it would be the reverse for you two." Anna's confusion must have shown in her face, for the man went on, "If you were to be captured, it would be the best thing imaginable for Yggdrasill. Kratos would do anything, capitulate to anything, rather than see you be hurt." His voice had taken on a serious note.

Anna stared at the ground. "How can you possibly know that?"

"I know Kratos fairly well," the man answered shortly. "Now I've spent too much time here, if you'll excuse me. Just stay here, and try to heal. I'll be back tomorrow." He turned away.

"Wait!" Anna shouted. "How can you know Kratos? Who are you?"

The man turned back towards her. "If you must know, my name is Yuan. I do need to go now, so I'd be thankful if you stayed where you are. Tomorrow, we need to get some kind of plan together." He disappeared into the night.

Frustrated, Anna stared at the fire. The most infuriating thing about the encounter was that with her injuries she could do very little other than wait on this man. Yuan. She frowned, thinking. She had heard that name before, but where? Then she remembered outside Luin, when Kratos had told her that his best friend was named Yuan. Was this man the same? It seemed possible- but how could she be sure? Surely he was a member of Cruxis- so why was he helping her and Kratos? Was it out of friendship or for his own ends?

Her head ached, and she lay down again. All that she knew was that for the moment, she had to wait. She tried to curl up, but her broken ribs prevented her. She gazed into the fire, feeling impossibly lonely. All she wanted was to have Kratos with her. She fell asleep, thinking of him.


	20. Sarcastic Remarks

**A long(er) chapter! Amazing! Anyway- this was the site of an epic battle between me and Sir Block of Writers. I eventually won. I hope the result won't disappoint...**

**Kiomori: Ah, Yuan. He figures quite a bit in this part, but mostly in conversation. Like I said: Sir Block of Writers is a tough enemy. **

**andy: Ha, he's got a pretty good idea; if you read on, you'll see. Thanks so much- I hope you came out of your finals alive too (I barely did). **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Thanks for catching the typo! Glad you liked the chapter!**

**CommodoreZelda13: I basically ditched social life (and school) to do it, but somehow that word count came through...Yuan's eye's are green? Gah, as if I needed more proof I should not be writing about a video game I've never played. I guess I was thinking of his cape. Anyway, I fixed it, thanks for telling me!**

**Candy Maiden: Wow. Thanks so much for sticking with it! I'm really happy you like it thus far. As regards Kratos- he gives me issues, but I think the story shouldn't have too much more of that. I hope he didn't seem too out of character- it honestly wasn't intentional. Although as regards their separating- we know they don't, but I think it possible that they would have considered it at some points. That was my rationale for those points. Again, thanks so much for sticking with it! And the main reason I haven't played ToS is just that I don't have it. My family doesn't even have a video game system, lol. If ever I get a lot of spare time, I probably will, but I don't have it yet...**

**Don't own. You know that. Enjoy!**

Kratos paced the long room in which he had spent the past twenty-four hours of his capture. It was a dreary place, with only a table and two chairs surrounded by white windowless walls. After what seemed his thousandth walk around the table, he threw himself on one of the chairs and drummed the table with his fingers.

He tried to tell himself that the situation could have resulted in much worse things for both him and Anna. His capture had been a lapse in attention for which he had not yet ceased to berate himself. When Anna had fallen out of sight over the cliff's edge, Kratos had literally lost control of himself, and in the process of destroying the remnant of the Desian patrol, had been attacked by Yuan, who had been summoned by one of the Desians. The subsequent events had almost been comedic, as Yuan had tried to convey directions to him even as they ferociously attacked each other. At last when the two were in close quarters, with their weapons locked, Yuan had whispered in a furious hiss, "Just come back with me! I think the girl's alive, but you're making this difficult, and there's a lot you don't know. Just let me take you, you can always 'escape' later! Trust me on this!" And Kratos had done so, allowing Yuan to take him to the Palmacosta Ranch.

Now he was waiting for Yuan to return. The angel had told him that he would find Anna, but Kratos was terrified for her. He began to replay every second of the attack, wondering if there was anything he could have done to help her. If he had known that the Desians had had such a powerful magic user with them, he would never have allowed Anna to talk him into going after the patrol. Yet how could he have denied her, given her reasons for wishing to help?

The door to the room banged suddenly. Yuan entered with a smirk that Kratos had almost forgotten, it had been so long since he had seen it. The half-elf threw his cape over the unoccupied chair and sat down. "An interesting girl you have there," he said.

"Is she all right?" Kratos asked tightly. "How badly was she hurt?"

Yuan sighed, "She broke two ribs and gave herself a pretty good concussion, but she'll live. She must be tough, though she certainly doesn't look it."

"Given that she has been in a human ranch ever since she was six, I think she is strong enough," Kratos commented quietly.

Yuan raised an eyebrow, but merely said, "Do you- do either of you know why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why she was in the ranch for such a long time? After they come in, they usually either die or are killed within three years, five at the outside. Yet Anna is at least sixteen."

Kratos shook his head. "She's at least nineteen. We talked about her age once; she's not sure, but thinks that she's at least nineteen, possibly twenty." He shut his eyes as he remembered that conversation; it had taken place after Luin, when one day Anna had suddenly asked him when his birthday was. She had laughed at him when he had said that he could not remember, but when he had asked her about her own, she had said frankly that she had never known the date of her birth…

"You're thinking about her," Yuan's voice cut into his thoughts.

Kratos clamped his lips together, and looked across the table with annoyance. "You have no proof of that."

"Oh no? In all the years I've known you you've always been hyperaware of your surroundings. But just now I put my feet on the table and took them off again, and you were staring at nothing and didn't even glance in my direction to see whether or not I was just aimlessly moving, or perhaps summoning some Desians, or anything. You didn't even notice."

Glaring at him, Kratos tried to think of a response. He and Yuan had only spoken in monosyllables in recent times, but clearly his old companion still remembered how to get under his skin. At last he said tersely, "That does not prove I was thinking about Anna."

"Yes it does. Because I didn't do anything just now. Yet you were so lost in thought that for all you knew it might have happened. You didn't deny it, even though you weren't sure." Yuan looked down at the table, and his brow furrowed. His voice was toneless as he went on, "There is literally only one thing in the world that can have that effect on people like us. And that is someone we…care deeply about. And I'm sure that it wasn't anybody in our organization that was occupying your mind that intensely. You never acted this way before you left anyway." His voice became more teasing as he ended.

"That's not evidence," Kratos said with some irritation.

With a smirk the half-elf flicked his bright blue hair out his eyes. "Maybe not. But you still haven't denied it."

Kratos rolled his eyes. "What is it to you if I think about the person with whom I've been travelling for almost three months now? Especially when the person in question is alone and is plagued by bad luck."

"Believe me, Kratos, that girl seems to have been born for bad luck," Yuan said seriously. "I actually know why she was in the human ranch for such a long time, and why she's still being pursued. Do you know how long she's had her exsphere?"

"It was placed on her literally hours before I met her. If you're referring to the fact that they're trying to cultivate a crystal by planting one in her body, then I do know about that."

"Do you know why such a convoluted method of development was commissioned?" Kratos shook his head, and Yuan continued, "An exsphere on a body with a Cruxis crystal growing within it has the potential to absorb the qualities of the crystal, in essence, become a crystal. Since it is fed by more mana than is normal in development, it will become far more powerful than any of the other crystals yet produced. At least that's the theory."

Kratos was amazed by the rage that surged in him on Anna's behalf. In a deceptively level voice, he commented, "I know that. But why do the Desians keep pursuing Anna, rather than starting again?"

"For one thing, that girl's the only person to survive the implanting of the crystal. For another, it's a matter of time. That particular exsphere is going to take years to grow to full potential as a Cruxis crystal, even with the one inside her to speed things up. And Mithos wants that thing ready as quickly as possible."

"Why?"

Yuan leaned against the table, and said bitterly, "If the bloodlines of the partners of the next marriage in the Chosen lineage are anything to go by, Sylvarant's next Chosen should have a closer match to Martel's mana than any previous Chosen. Mithos wants that crystal ready to put on the body of the vessel when Martel's soul is placed inside. That way, she can become an angel with him."

"So in the end, it all comes back to Yggdrasill. I didn't know this," Kratos sighed. "I assumed Kvar was acting on his own initiative. But why was Anna in the ranch for such a long time?"

A smile twisted across Yuan's features. "As you said earlier- that girl literally is plagued by bad luck. I looked up her records, and as far as I could find out, she was captured and brought to the ranch within days of Kvar receiving orders to cultivate that particular crystal. He thought that she was a good candidate, but wasn't stupid enough to perform the procedure on a six year-old child. So he kept her as a reserve while he tried out others. And when she was old enough and when he had no one else- well, he used her, and she made it. That's why you two are being pursued so relentlessly. Kvar isn't going to let the only successful experiment in thirteen years get away so easily."

"And Yggdrasill is not concerned about the fact that I've left? I've been expecting more from him than we've encountered."

Yuan rubbed the back of his neck. For the first time he looked unsure of himself. "I don't know what's going through Mithos's head," he said with a sigh. "A few days after you left, he did try to kill you, which I'm sure you remember. For a few weeks after that, all he spoke of was destroying you, completely ignoring the fact that your death would release Origin, which would be inconvenient for him. Then he stopped. I don't know why. But he just isn't thinking about it right now. He talks to Martel a lot." The half-elf's voice wavered, but he went on, "However I wouldn't count on his ignoring you for much longer. The girl's too important, and you're too risky unsupervised."

Kratos clenched his hands. "What do you intend to do, now that you have me here?"

"You were always paranoid," Yuan said, rolling his eyes. "If I were going to hand you over, I would have done it a while ago. But you're going to need help to effectively throw off pursuit. Now do you intend to stay with that girl?"

"Her name is Anna, I'll remind you. And yes, I do intend to stay with her."

A smile played on Yuan's lips, but he merely said, "Then you're going to have to be more careful. Your actions today will make things harder, because now Mithos will probably get word that you two are travelling together. If you want to make sure Anna is in no danger from Mithos, you are going to have to disappear for a while."

"Where can we go? I haven't been on Sylvarant in… a long time. Palmacosta is out of the question; she was recognized there. Are there any villages far away from the ranches?"

"You don't expect to be able to stay in one place, do you? You and Anna are going to have to be constantly on the move. If you settle anywhere, you will attract attention; any new person anywhere will do that. And if Anna was recognized in Palmacosta- well, she's at risk of being recognized anywhere. If you stay in one place, it will make it easier for someone to find out who she is."

He made as if to rise, and then stopped as a thought seemed to strike him. "Out of curiosity, why do you want to be in a village? I would have thought you would hate such a life."

Kratos shrugged. "I probably would," he answered. "But I think that Anna deserves to meet other people, to see how they live. She was always asking about how people in the outside world lived."

The half-elf inclined his head slightly. "Thirteen years. That's a long time to spend in a ranch. She didn't strike me as naïve, but she definitely is not like other people," he commented.

"No, how could she be? I think she has a great deal to learn, but in some ways she has more knowledge than you and I ever will. I don't know the specifics of what she's been through at the ranch, but she learned from it. She understands people remarkably well. Though I doubt she would ever say so. Yet almost everyone she meets trusts her right away. She draws people to her."

"And angels," Yuan said with a smirk. "It's pretty obvious you'd do anything that girl asked you. Even when you were infatuated with that princess all those years ago you never spoke of her the way you did this girl. What was that woman's name? I can't even remember."

"Nor can I," Kratos growled in an agony of embarrassment. He racked his brains for any memory of the person Yuan was talking about, but could not recall anything. The only time he could have come into contact with a princess was when he had been a knight in Tethe'alla's palace. But he could not recall any of the faces he had known before he and Yuan had met Mithos and Martel.

He gave the half-elf a scowl. "Are you just making this up?"

"No," was the laughing response. "I remember you being absolutely terrified of going into the same room with her, and even if she just looked your way, you would be tongue-tied for the next half-hour. Oh!" He exclaimed. "I remember now. Her name was Soleille. I think she liked you; at least she'd try to talk alone with you sometimes, I remember. But she got engaged to someone else, and then we left Meltokio with Mithos and Martel."

Kratos glared at him. "Don't you have other things to do than chat with a prisoner?"

"Yes, but I enjoy this more," Yuan answered teasingly. "Have you told her about that episode?"

Kratos met his eyes, and Yuan looked visibly alarmed. "On second thoughts, that's a stupid question, given that you didn't remember till I reminded you."

"It was idiotic," Kratos said coldly. "Are you going to spend your whole night here, or do you have business elsewhere?"

"Actually, I've had to change plans. I was going to stay here, but now I'm off to 'personally inform Lord Yggdrasill of your capture' and make sure he doesn't try to come here himself. I actually don't plan on mentioning you at all, unless he asks and I can't evade it. I'm mainly going up there to make sure I can intercept anything that idiot Magnius tries to send. I'll try to get back the day after tomorrow."

"And you expect me to just sit in here?" Kratos asked.

Yuan shrugged. "If you feel like attempting to break out of a ranch you don't know, be my guest, but you'd draw all of Cruxis down on your neck. And that won't help you or the girl."

"What about Anna? Is she going to be all right?"

"I told Noishe to go to her, and I left her supplies. She's not an idiot; she ought to be all right for a few days. Once I get back, we ought to be able to get you out without too much trouble. After that, it'll be up to you and Anna."

Kratos said nothing. Yuan gave him a nod and left, locking the door behind him.

The next three days passed slowly for Kratos. No one came to see him, and he tried to occupy his mind by thinking of a plan to escape and hide. But his thoughts kept turning back to Anna, remembering the warmth of her kisses and her ready laughter. He missed her more than he had thought possible. He smiled a little as he thought about how she had changed since he had first met her. During the first few days of their acquaintance, she had been soft-spoken and somewhat timid. The Anna of those days would never have attempted to go after a Desian patrol, and she probably would not have argued with him when he had said that they should not. And in recent days, she had begun to laugh more, and smiled at almost anything. Often she laughed even when she was annoyed.

The door banged suddenly and Yuan strode into the room. "Get up."

Kratos stared at him. Yuan grabbed his shoulder. "We don't have time for this. You have to get out and on the move now."

"What happened?" Kratos asked. "And why do you have my sword?" He snatched the blade from Yuan.

The half-elf ignored him. "Get up! I'll explain later." He began to drag Kratos toward the deserted hallway. Bewildered, Kratos followed. Yuan glanced from side to side before racing down to one end of the hall. He shoved open a plain metal door that opened on a flight of stairs.

"Go down these," the half-elf said. "At the bottom are two doors. One is labeled "Emergency Use Only". Go through it; I've disabled the alarm. It's the escape tunnel for this ranch. Once you get outside, get back to those cliffs where you and Anna were. Get to the bottom and walk toward Palmacosta. After a mile or so, you should come by a stone that's almost a perfect square. Beyond that behind some rocks is a cave. Anna's there with Noishe. If you can't find it, call him so he can get you there. I'll join you later. Now get out and be quick!"

"What went wrong?" Kratos demanded sharply.

"Not much, but if you delay much longer, it'll get worse," Yuan snapped. "Get going!"

"I want an explanation."

"You won't get one here. Now unless you want to be hauled back by Mithos himself, I suggest you move."

"Is he coming here?" Kratos said, glaring at Yuan.

"Not yet," the half-elf said. "Now hurry up! If a Desian comes along, I'll have to get rid of him, and I'll have a really hard time explaining that to the rest of the ranch."

Kratos made no move to go. Yuan gave him a glare. "I'll tell you what's happening later on, if you do what I say now! I'm not turning either you or Anna in, is that enough? Will you please go?"

"If you meet us later and explain what's happening."

"I will; now get out before I lose my patience."

"As if you had any to lose," Kratos shot back. He went through the door before Yuan could respond and went down the stairs quickly. The tunnel was similar to the one in the Asgard ranch. Once outside, he began to retrace his route from when he had been taken to the Palmacosta Ranch. It took him a while to reach the cliffs where he and Anna had had their disastrous encounter with the patrol, and the full moon was high in the sky when he finally arrived. Quickly he spread his wings and drifted to the bottom.

The moonlight made each rock gleam with a silver light. Kratos was reminded of the night he had first met Anna. He began to scan the rocks that lay scattered at the cliff's edge. Many were broken from the impact of striking the ground. Kratos guessed that they had fallen from the cliff years before. Carefully he noted the shape of each rock he passed, looking for anything that resembled a perfect square.

Some minutes later he found one that qualified. It was a huge symmetrical lump of stone that was about the height of his waist. Kratos scanned the cliff. Long thin slabs leaned against the base of the rock wall. Any one of them could hide a cave.

He walked toward the slabs and began to examine them. There was only one point between one of the rocks and the cliff large enough for a person to enter, and Kratos had to stoop to make his way inside. But he felt the air change, and was able to see a wide chamber of rock, draped in shadow. He caught a glimpse of a small figure standing against the far wall, though not at a great distance. Before he could say anything, the figure threw something at him. Even as he saw the motion of the arm a flicker of movement to his right caught his attention. He felt something sharp strike his face. Almost at the same time a creature struck him, knocking him to the cave floor. A growl that Kratos recognized came from the creature that had surprised him.

"Noishe, get off of me," he said, shoving at the protozoan. The creature's ears flickered, and he shifted so Kratos could get up.

"Kratos?" Anna's voice rang from the back of the cave, sounding astonished. He heard her footsteps run towards him and stop some distance away. "Where are you?" she asked uncertainly. "I could see you earlier when you were at the entrance, but I can't now. I don't want to step on you or anything."

"You throw a rock at me, and then worry about stepping on me?" Kratos said, a smile spreading on his face.

Anna groaned, "You've been talking with Yuan too much. If you start acting like him…" Her voice trailed off. "Did I hurt you when I threw that?" she said, sounding worried.

He quickly healed the cut. "No, you missed."

Anna laughed. "You're a really bad liar. I'm sorry. I honestly didn't expect my aim to be that good."

She took another step towards him, looking uncertain of where to go. Kratos rose and walked towards her. "I'm here, Anna," he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"I'm glad," she said lightly. "I really missed you."

Kratos smiled in the darkness. "I missed you too, Anna." Carefully he led her to the entrance to the cave, where she could see more easily. She sat down on the ground, and he sat next to her. For a short time they were silent.

At last Anna spoke, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry about what happened with the Desians," she said. "I wasn't thinking very clearly. I don't regret going after them, but I'm sorry for forcing the issue like I did. I just really wanted to help."

"I know," he answered. "But it's not always possible to help every victim we see."

She shook her head, smiling a little. "But we did help them- those prisoners, I mean. I think it maybe just depends on whether or not we try."

Kratos smiled and smoothed her hair back from her face. "Maybe," he said softly. "But we need to go more carefully now."

Laughing, she took his hand in hers. "You mean I need to go more carefully. This is what, the third time I've gotten us into trouble?"

"I've lost track," he answered, laughing a little. "But I don't want to see you get into trouble when I can't get you out."

"I feel bad, though, constantly getting you into these situations."

"I don't mind," Kratos said, before he could stop himself.

Anna stared at him and grinned. "Somehow I have a hard time believing that."

He shifted so that he was leaning against the wall of the cave. "Anna, what I mind is seeing you-" He cut himself short. All of Yuan's sarcastic remarks came back to him, and he shut his mouth and looked away.

She waited for a while before sighing, "So does this mean I have to guess what the matter is?"

"No. Just forget what I said. It's unimportant."

A quick smile twisted her lips. "If you say so." Her tone was teasing, but she did not say anything more. Kratos looked away, wondering whether he was ever going to be able to sort out his feelings for Anna. She seemed to notice that he was troubled, for she came and sat beside him without a word. He felt her right hand take his left and clasp it between her own.

For a long time they sat this way. After a while the rhythm of her breathing changed, and Kratos knew she had fallen asleep. He felt her head fall gently onto his shoulder. Carefully he shifted so that she was leaning against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and leaned back to wait for the morning, wondering what Yuan would say if he found them this way. And the next moment he smiled, for the truth was that he no longer cared.


	21. And Yet You Put Up With Me

**I'm so happy everyone liked Yuan! He was a blast to write; I had so much fun with him. I don't know why he was so easy for me, but he just came really naturally. **

**CommodoreZelda13: Agh, I can't please anyone. I can't force it! I don't feel like I say that enough. I want the romance as much as you, but I can't shove it in there if it doesn't feel right!**

**AndieArmstrong: Yes, Tales of Fandom reference! And I didn't like Yuan- until I wrote that chapter. Now I do. And the cookies are amazing. Amazing. **

**andy: Is this soon enough? This chapter- I couldn't stop writing it. I really need a life. Really need a life.**

**Kiomori: You'll see...just read! **

**DragonSong17: Hurray, I feel special... I think. Wow, I never thought about that with Lloyd. Um- I don't know what to say to you. Other than I did mess with the ending, so hopefully it's an improvement over what I had before. (This person is my beta/fact-checker/friend who got me started on this, for everyone who doesn't know. If you've checked either of our profiles, she's the person who doesn't know how old she is. Or when her birthday is. Unless I tell her.)**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I just guessed for them, and went with what felt right, so I'm glad you liked it! **

**I won't be updating this till 2011, so see you all then! Have an awesome Christmas, or whatever you celebrate this time of year! Enjoy!**

Anna slowly began to wake. She was less cold than she had been the previous night, and she felt almost comfortable. Almost. Her body was slumped a little to the side, but she did not want to move just yet. As she lay, she could feel a rhythmic beat that would probably send her back to sleep soon. She sighed and then realized where she was. She was leaning against Kratos. The rhythm she had felt was his heartbeat, unmistakable as her head lay on his chest. For a moment she stiffened, feeling self-conscious.

"Are you awake?" she heard Kratos ask softly.

A smile crossed her lips, and her embarrassment vanished. "Yes," she whispered. "But I'd rather not be." She closed her eyes and curled up next to him, hoping he would not insist she move. Being close to him physically was strange, and yet natural. During the three days she had been alone, he had been her only thought. And now that he was finally with her, she had no desire to lose that feeling of safety that she always felt when she was with him.

She waited for Kratos to shove her away. Instead he moved so that she was closer to him. Relieved, she leaned her head against his left shoulder. Within moments she had fallen asleep again.

When she woke again, the light in the cave was grey rather than black. A patch of sunlight lay near the entrance where she and Kratos had spent the night. Anna smiled, feeling the steady rise and fall of her companion's breathing. Never in her life had she felt so contented. It was such a strange feeling; to feel as though she needed nothing else. All throughout her life she had always longed for something she did not have. In the ranch it had been freedom, in the past few months it had been a life free of danger.

Now, however, all she felt was pure, unshaken happiness. Kratos had not been hurt, and he had come back. Though she had seen his power and knew he could defend himself, she had never been so afraid for him as when Yuan had said that he was captured. Yet he was here with her, and was happy to be so. She knew him well enough to recognize that. She had heard his gladness when he had spoken to her last night. And he was close to her now, and did not mind. Unconsciously, she clasped his hands in hers.

"Anna?"

"I'm awake," she answered. "Really awake, this time." But she made no move to get up, wondering what Kratos would do. Would he try to get up himself, or would he let her stay as she was?

He seemed to wait for her to move, but she merely shifted so that she was sitting upright. She did not let go of his hands and found herself tracing the gem mounted on the back of his left hand. For some reason, she had never noticed it before. Memories of the human ranch came back to her, memories that she had shoved away and buried so they would not haunt her. But now she found that she could think of them without pain. That her experiences had marked her for life, she would not deny. But she no longer felt twisted and broken because of them.

"Anna, what are you thinking about?"

She let his hands fall from hers, feeling slightly foolish. "Not much," she answered. "Just about the past, I guess." She moved slightly away from Kratos so he could get up.

He turned to face her. "Yuan told me about why you were taken. Is it something you want to hear?"

Anna stiffened, and had to keep herself from touching her exsphere. "Tell me," she whispered.

And Kratos did. His voice was level and emotionless, and as he spoke, Anna slowly felt her tension lessen. Somehow, even though she was infuriated by the cruel reasons she had been kept, she felt less lost. So that was why she had been robbed of everything, why she had been forced to know evil so far ahead of her time. To give a trapped soul the means of becoming an angel. A twisted reason, but at least there had been one. It had not been blind chance.

A thought came to her, and she laughed suddenly. "Who would have thought I could be the means of bringing a goddess to life?" she asked. "Now that I think about it, it's funny. The Desians always treated me as less than an animal; and yet I was the hope for bringing back a divinity!"

Kratos stared at her, looking bewildered. It was such a strange expression on his face that she laughed even harder. After a while his lips quirked upwards. "Anna, why do you find this funny?" he asked.

"You don't see even a little bit of humor in it?" she said, still laughing.

For a while he stared at the ground, then shook his head. "Frankly- no." But the smile still hung in his voice.

Anna grinned. "Well, I do," she answered. "And if you can't, then I'm sorry, because I can't help but laugh at it. So if you're confused, it's bad luck for you."

He laughed, looking up to meet her eyes. At the sight of his face, Anna's heart gave a wild leap and immediately she felt herself turning red. Exasperated with herself, she looked away, having very little hope that her change in expression would go unnoticed by him.

After a few seconds she glanced back at Kratos. The look on his face had certainly grown more amused, but all he said was, "Anna, you are a very strange person."

Relieved, she gave him a smile. "And yet you put up with me," she commented.

His own smile grew to the point where anyone could have recognized it for what it was. Leaning forward, he put his hand to her cheek, drew nearer, and kissed her.

This kiss felt strange compared to the others they had shared; the first time he had touched her this way, she had felt almost giddy with delight. But now this show of affection simply felt natural, something that she could expect from him, and something she would give him in return. His touch was gentle, as it always was, but this time he did not break contact after a few seconds. Anna herself had no desire to draw back. And so they allowed their kiss to linger.

From behind them, Noishe gave a whine that caused both of them to draw apart. The protozoan's attention was riveted on the entrance to the cave. Anna turned and saw Yuan standing there. Even though his back was to the light, she could see the dumbfounded expression on his face. She burst into laughter as he stared from her to Kratos. "Please don't tell me that's the first time you've seen a kiss," she spluttered. "Even at the human ranch, I saw those."

"I never expected to see that one, though," Yuan answered, still looking amazed. He turned to Kratos, whose face was expressionless. "You're even deeper in this than I thought."

Anna had to restrain another impulse to laugh, as a flicker of embarrassment and irritation showed on Kratos's face. Still smiling, she asked, "Why didn't we hear you coming?"

"Well, you weren't paying much attention," he answered dryly. Anna felt her face burn. Yuan smirked and continued, "Besides, I flew here, so that might have had something to do with it. Anyway, I came to tell you what's going on, now that I have the chance."

Swiftly Anna looked from him to Kratos. "What is going on?" she asked. "What happened back there at the cliffs?"

Yuan sat down opposite the two of them. "I had to take Kratos back with me when I found the patrol, since the Desians summoned me to help them. It would have looked suspicious if I hadn't. Anyway, I took him back to the Palmacosta Ranch and went back up to see…"

He hesitated, and shot a swift glance at Kratos, who gave him a nod. "She knows about Mithos. And Cruxis."

Yuan stared from Anna to Kratos. "You know about that?" he asked Anna.

"That you and Kratos were with Mithos and that you helped bring about the way things are now? Yes, I do," she replied.

Yuan's eyes widened, and for a fraction of a second his mouth hung open. "You told her everything?" he exclaimed, staring at Kratos.

Kratos met the half-elf's eyes coldly. "I did. What is it to you? You can speak freely in front her; now go on."

"What is it to me?" Yuan repeated. "What on earth possessed you to tell her everything? You didn't even think that perhaps some of our past is meant to be secret?"

"It's too late now," Anna said, trying not to laugh. "Whether or not it was meant to be secret, it's out now. So why don't you two stop snapping at each other, and you," she nodded to Yuan, "explain yourself."

Kratos looked as though he were trying to hide a smile, while Yuan looked irritated. "Very well," he grumbled. "I went to see Mithos, to make sure he couldn't get wind of anything and I didn't mention Kratos. I was up there just to make sure that if Magnius, the Desian in charge at the Ranch, sent a message, I could get it before Mithos. What I didn't count on was Magnius deciding to send a message to Pronyma, who then relayed it directly to Mithos. Luckily, a contact of mine let me know, so I wasn't completely unprepared. I went to Mithos while he was in the middle of talking to Pronyma, and told him I'd received a message saying that you, Kratos, were seen near the Iselia Ranch. So now that he has two contradictory reports of your location, it should buy us a little time."

He said nothing more, looking pleased with himself. Anna looked at Kratos in some confusion. She knew scarcely any of the names Yuan had mentioned, but she had understood enough. "And what if Yggdrasill decides to check this area first?" she said, turning back to Yuan. "What do we do then?"

"Actually I had something in mind," Yuan said. Something in his voice annoyed Anna; he sounded far too complacent. "If Kratos shows himself at another location entirely, it should create sufficient confusion to stall Cruxis for a while. That way they have to deal with three conflicting reports, and send troops to three different locations, making it harder to coordinate. And Mithos is not going to come down himself; he'd consider it a lowering of his dignity. He'll let his underlings bring Kratos back, or rather- try to."

"That's it? That's your plan?" Anna exclaimed. "To have Kratos show himself somewhere and just hope he can make it out when your mad friend attacks? Do you realize how many things could go wrong with that?"

Yuan rolled his eyes. "Well, your luck seems to have held so far," he commented. "Besides, unlike you, Kratos isn't announced as a wanted criminal. Mithos is trying to keep the news of his defection from the Desians; they won't be looking for him. And what does it matter to you? Your opinion hardly counts, since you won't be the one going into danger."

Anna's hand was raised to strike the blue-haired angel almost before she had time to think. Kratos caught her hand swiftly. "Yuan, enough," he said quietly. His voice gave Anna time to collect her anger, and her arm relaxed. Kratos lowered her hand, but did not let go. "Go outside, or back to the ranch," he continued, still addressing Yuan. "Give us some time to talk about this."

A bitter smile crept across the half-elf's features, but he stood up. "Make it quick, then," he said. "I don't know how long it will take Mithos to decide on a course of action now that he has those two conflicting reports already. You'd better decide what to do fast." He ducked out of the cave, though Anna doubted he had gone far away.

She turned to Kratos, glad he was still holding her hand. "So what do you think?" she asked, hoping her voice sounded normal. "Much as I hate to admit it, Yuan has a point in that you're the one who would be going into this. What do you think about it?"

He shrugged. "It could provide some time, but I don't know that the risk is worth the potential gain. The troops Cruxis would send might have a harder time communicating, but there would be more of them, and they would spread out across Sylvarant, making it more dangerous. Besides, when I spoke with Yuan in the ranch, I received the impression that he has less control over Mithos than he would like us to think."

Anna tossed her head back. "It doesn't sound to me like he ever had any control over him. Why on earth would he think he could control a madman, anyway? Although it doesn't surprise me that he would think he could."

"I can hear what you say, you know," an irritated voice called from outside the cave.

"Good!" Anna shouted back.

She looked back to Kratos, who shaking with silent laughter. "What is it?" she snapped, grinning in spite of herself.

He looked up. "Nothing, Anna. Just don't worry about him for now. We need to decide whether or not to take up his suggestion."

"Whether you deliberately reveal yourself in someplace that isn't here or- what was the other place- Iseli?"

"Iselia," Kratos corrected her in a low voice. "And yes, that is what we need to decide. Because I have a feeling whatever we choose, we shouldn't count on Yuan. I don't know what he's hiding, but he's doing something on his own initiative, and I don't know if I trust him yet."

Anna nodded. For some reason Kratos's words saddened her. Though Yuan was one of the most irritating people she had ever met, she would have liked to think that beyond his sarcastic front, there was someone to trust. But she trusted Kratos absolutely, and if he had reservations about Yuan, then she would not argue. After all, he had once known the half-elf better than anyone. "What do you think we should do?" she asked. "As you could probably tell, I don't think much of the idea."

"It's not a terrible idea," Kratos said evenly. "I would like it better if you were not involved."

"My presence complicates matters?" Anna said with a smile. He raised an eyebrow, and she laughed. "You told me that the second day after Asgard, when I asked you if you had a plan."

Kratos nodded. "I remember that. It doesn't seem as though our situation has changed much since then."

She hugged her knees to her chest. "I wouldn't say that," she said, laughing a little. "But regardless, what should we do now?"

"I think the simplest, and probably the safest course of action would be to get out of the area altogether. And I think it would be easiest to go north of here. There are not as many villages and towns there, and it will be easier to avoid questions."

"It sounds all right to me," she said. Kratos immediately stood up, and she glanced up at him. "Just like that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Is there any reason to stay? Are your injuries a problem?"

Anna shook her head. "As long as we don't have to run or anything, I should be all right."

"We will be walking a great deal."

Anna grinned. "As long as it's not running," she said again. Kratos extended a hand to her, and she got up. Together they went outside.

Yuan was sitting on the square stone that lay some distance away from the cliff's edge. "Well, did you make up your minds?" he asked shortly.

"Yes," Kratos answered. "We're going to leave things as they are and get out of here."

With a shrug of his shoulders, the half-elf slipped off the stone. "Then you won't be needing my help anymore," he said matter-of-factly.

Anna shook her head. "But thanks for helping," she said after a while. "It would have been a lot worse for us if you hadn't."

"It would have indeed," Yuan commented. "Now if that's what you've decided, you need to be on your way quickly. Once I get back, Magnius is going to send out search parties. I've told him I think you're trying to get a ship, so they're going to Palmacosta first. Wherever you go, don't head there."

"We won't," Kratos said quietly. "You should probably go back so the others will not become suspicious." He hesitated, then added, "And I should say thank you as well."

Yuan laughed, "Well- good luck. You'll need it, especially if you plan on going without supplies."

Anna gasped in annoyance as she realized she had left her pack in the cave. Kratos turned without a word, and disappeared behind the rocks.

Yuan glanced after him, then gave Anna a long mocking stare. She glared at him, her irritation with him rising. "What?" she finally demanded.

"I find it amusing that you two are still so oblivious. Well, actually- just you. Him not so much any more."

"Oblivious to what?" Anna grumbled. She hated the feeling that Yuan was secretly laughing at her whenever he talked to her. And that feeling only grew stronger as a smirk stole across his features again. "Oblivious to what?" she repeated, growing more annoyed. "For once, will you give me a straight answer? If you're capable of that?"

The half-elf's grin grew even wider. "A straight answer, you say? Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Anna shouted, losing all patience. "Yes, I want a straight answer!"

"Very well," Yuan said. "Kratos is absolutely besotted by you. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that he's wildly in love with you. And I don't think you would ever have realized it. I hope that answer was to your liking." He spread his wings, and leapt into the sky. Completely dumbstruck, Anna stared after him. He had to be mocking her. He had to be. And yet- she remembered every word she had exchanged with Kratos, every touch, every kiss, every day spent with him. It was a strange idea, to think that he could be in love with her. But was it really so surprising?

Still pondering, she turned to the cliffs and saw Kratos standing there. His face was completely rigid, and she realized that he must have heard Yuan's words. Desperately she racked her brains for something, anything, that would dispel this moment. But before she could come up with anything, Kratos walked by her. "We should go back up to the path; it will be the easiest way to get out of this area," he said.

His voice sounded more distant than Anna could remember it being for some time. A burst of rage at Yuan rose in her, and she found herself hoping that a gust of wind blew him into a tree. That image amused her, as she imagined Yuan getting tangled in the branches, his cape caught so that it was above his head with folds falling in his eyes.

She looked up to see Kratos watching her. As soon as she looked at him, he dropped his eyes. A smile crossed her lips, and she no longer felt embarrassed; just sorry that he had had to deal with this. If Yuan was wrong, it must have been jarring for Kratos to hear, and if he was right, Kratos should have been the one to tell her. "Tell me," she said lightly, "how were you able to be with Yuan for over four thousand years without killing him?"

A small smile crossed his lips. "After a while he becomes easy to ignore."

She laughed, "No doubt it was easy for you." Kratos said nothing. He lifted her and spread his wings, bearing them to the top of the cliff. For a while he led her in silence down the path, away from the city to the north. Anna thought over everything that had occurred. The thought of Kratos loving her- it was so strange and yet the more she thought about it, the less it shocked her. But what then was she to think? If Yuan had just been mocking her, she was becoming worried for nothing.

She was startled when Kratos spoke, "Thank you for not mentioning what he said."

Anna smiled. "Not at all. Truthfully, I'm just confused. But Kratos, sometime-it doesn't have to be now- but if I ask you about it, will you answer?"

She saw his shoulders tense a little, but all he said was, "Yes, if you wish to ask." Annoyed by his brief answer, she glanced toward him. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead and his face was expressionless.

She shook her head. "Kratos, till then will you please not act like the world's ended?" she asked. "We both know Yuan's irritating. Can we let it go at that?"

Kratos nodded, giving her a very quick glance. "Very well."

Frustrated, she gave a groan. "Then don't look so tense!"

He looked away. "I apologize."

"You idiot!" she exclaimed, causing him to turn back towards her. "Don't apologize, just- I don't know- calm down!"

Kratos lifted an eyebrow. "You are the agitated one, it seems."

She glared at him for a few seconds, but could not keep a straight face. Finally she laughed. "You have me there. But do you understand what I mean?"

"No."

Angrily, she turned her head away. "You're impossible."

"And yet you put up with me."

Anna lowered her head, trying not to let him see her growing smile. At last she gave up. "Yes," she muttered, and turned to him. "Yes," she said more firmly. "I do. I don't know why, but I do."

Her smile grew as she felt his hand take hold of hers. She thought about Yuan's words, and shook her head slightly. Perhaps she deserved all the scorn with which the half-elf had regarded her; though not for the same reason. For if Kratos could be said to be wildly in love with her, then what did she feel for him? Was it possible for her to love him? If she loved him, would she even know it? Worried, she let her gaze fall to the ground. Perhaps the coming days would bring answers. But she had a feeling that the answers would have to come from within herself. She did not have them yet.


	22. Embers of a Fire

**I hope everyone had a good New Year! I celebrated by working, and heading back to school midnight of the first. Anyway because I was bored, I came up with a poll that I actually kind of like, so will you at least look? And please vote? It'd make me happy...you don't have to read all the drivel on my profile. Just click the "vote now" thing, it's not too hard! Thank you in advance! :) Now, to reviewers!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Yes, things are moving! I finally get to the fun stuff...**

**CommodoreZelda13: I hope I can get it right when it comes, now that I know you're waiting for it. Thanks for being so patient! **

**andy: I certainly hope I find one; it'll be needed eventually. I'm really glad you think it's realistic- I think I take this far too seriously for fanfiction, but I'm glad it's paying off. **

**Moonlight M3lody: Yeah, I know it was a little cliche, but I had so much fun with Yuan I couldn't resist giving him that chance to make himself a pain. Thanks for the advice; I'll definitely try my best! **

**As always thanks for reading! Although Fanfiction is having a glitch and won't let me see my traffic, so at the moment I can't really see if it's being read... of course, if you really want to let me know you're reading, you could always review :D **

A pale sun peered through the strips of gray cloud. The dawn was cheerless, without majesty or color. A crow flew down from the sky to examine the group by the side of the road that lay to the northwest of the Asgard Ranch. He noted the large green and white animal that lay some distance away from the two people by the road. The small winged creature flew low over the creature with a harsh call, causing the woman to glance up at him. The bird cackled and flew off into the sky.

Noishe spared the bird a passing glance before turning back to Kratos and Anna, his chin resting on his front paws. His eyes flickered back and forth between the two, glinting with some amusement at their words. Anna was kneeling on the ground, leaning on her hands gingerly. Kratos glared at her, unable to understand why she would not listen to him.

Anna shifted and met his stare with raised eyebrows. "Kratos, I'm fine. I can go on without riding Noishe."

"Anna, it's been two days now, and this morning you couldn't even sit upright because your ribs hurt you so badly. There is no way you can walk, and we need to go as far away as we possibly can to be safe from patrols."

"You dealt pretty well with the last one we met," she countered.

"Pretty well? You fell down a cliff and I was captured. If not for Yuan, we would both be prisoners now. We can't risk another encounter; now will you get on Noishe?"

"Kratos, why can't you just heal my ribs so I can walk?"

"I already told you that once the bones have begun to set, casting First Aid won't do anything. Now that your body has begun to heal itself, it'll resist the spell."

He waited, but she said nothing and stared into the remains of the fire from the night before. A breeze scattered the ashes onto her tunic. She brushed them off absently and made no move to rise. Frustrated, Kratos took her by the hand and tried to raise her to her feet.

Immediately her head snapped up. "Kratos, let go of me. Now." Her voice was low and she looked at him with furious eyes. Surprised, he dropped her hand, and she stood and crossed to Noishe without another word. The protozoan shook his shoulders and rose. Anna eased herself carefully onto the creature's back, avoiding Kratos's eyes.

For several hours, they went on in silence. The wind was biting, and the plains over which they traveled provided no shelter. Anna shivered as she sat upright on Noishe's shoulders. "It's really cold," she commented. "I don't think I remember weather like this ever."

"Were you not confined most of the time?" Kratos asked, never taking his eyes from the road.

"Most of the time. But in the ranch, you could feel the weather a little; the courtyard had barred walls. It was something that drove people mad sometimes- just seeing the forest through those bars and knowing they could never get out."

Kratos looked at her, unable to tell if she was exaggerating. Her face was thoughtful. He wondered if she was telling the literal truth. "Did you see the other prisoners often?"

Anna shook her head. "They all had exspheres, and had to go shove things around and get abused so the things would develop. I didn't have one. I guess because I was being kept in reserve for this." She touched her chest with a bitter smile. "I tried to talk with the prisoners when I could. The newer prisoners would usually talk to me, at least for a little while. After the first few months though, they'd usually stop. They just didn't see the point. And the Desians ignored me for the most part, until another prisoner attacked me."

Kratos looked at her, astounded. "Why would another prisoner attack you?"

Anna laughed out loud. "You've been around four thousand years, and can't guess?"

Kratos lowered his head as he realized what she was implying. He heard Anna slip off Noishe and fall into step beside him. "Don't look so grim," she said gently. "Nothing happened. That prisoner was beaten really badly by the guards before he could do anything. After that that the Desians tried to keep me away from everyone; they wanted me in good condition, you know. No one would talk to me but Ian. And it went on that way for a long time."

He looked down at her. "Anna, how were you able to brush that off so lightly?"

She looked uncomfortable. "Define 'lightly'. With so many people going through so much all around me, it didn't make that much of an impression. It was just something that happened. The only reason it was so bad was that it cut me off from most everyone."

Kratos sensed that she did not wish to speak more of it, and was silent for a time. Then it occurred to him that she had never spoken to him in great detail of her time at the ranch before. When he pointed that out to her, she smiled. "I feel like I don't need to think about it anymore. It's so much easier to bear those memories when I'm with you. You really do help me stay strong, you know."

"You mean that," Kratos said, unable to hold back a smile.

"Of course I do," she replied, looking up at him with an exasperated grin. "How often will I have to keep drumming that into your thick skull? I mean it with all my heart."

Her hand crept up to his shoulder. Kratos slipped his hand onto her waist and kissed her, surprised by how naturally this came to him. For a brief moment he held her close, and whispered, "We should go on."

Anna laughed and turned back to face Noishe. Suddenly her face became pale, and she leaned heavily on the protozoan, clutching his shoulders. "Are you well?" Kratos asked sharply.

She shook her head. "I think I can go on, though. If I'm on Noishe, I should be all right."

"That's what you said two days ago when I asked you if you could walk."

Anna rolled her eyes. "If I fall off, then I'll make sure to tell you."

"Anna, be serious."

"I am. You asked if I'm well, and I'm not- I feel like I'm being drained of energy, like something's being sucked out of me, but I think I can ride Noishe. I just feel weak, nothing more."

"It's your exsphere," Kratos said, suddenly afraid.

He felt her hands. They were clammy to his touch. When he touched her wrist, Kratos realized her pulse had slowed. Anna gripped his hand as she swayed suddenly. "Can you help me get on Noishe?" she asked.

He lifted her so that she was sitting sideways on the protozoan's back. For a moment Anna leaned on Kratos, trying to maintain her balance. Then she straightened and took hold of Noishe's shoulders. Kratos stepped back, watching her. She gave him a quick grin. "Honestly, you worry too much. You said yourself we have to get going, right?"

They made slow progress the rest of the day. Kratos could not stop stealing glances at Anna, who was beginning to slump on Noishe's back. He walked beside her in case she was in danger of falling. But nothing untoward occurred. By nightfall, they had left the barren plains, and reached a small forest that provided some shelter from the cold wind. The trees appeared to be tangled together, their roots and branches intertwined in convoluted patterns. After almost an hour of scanning the sides of the path, Kratos noticed a small hollow between two gigantic trees. It was sheltered from the road by a fallen tree-trunk. He led Noishe to the spot. The protozoan refused to jump the felled tree with Anna on his back. She slipped off him and leaned against the log, which was almost as wide as she was tall. Her face looked resigned and amused as she watched Noishe spring over the log. Laughing a little, she turned to Kratos."Will you help me get over?"

Kratos lifted Anna onto the log and then climbed over himself. Once in the hollow, he helped her off the tree-trunk. "Thanks," she said, sitting down. "I wish I could actually do something to stop this."

"Stop what?" Kratos asked sharply.

"I don't know, but I feel like I'm getting the life sucked out of me."

Kratos looked at her. She was huddled at the base of the log, staring at the ground. For a short time she was silent, and then looked up at him with serious eyes. "Kratos, is it possible that I'll die from this?"

Her question surprised him, but there was something about the straightforward way she said the words, without a trace of fear, that touched Kratos's heart. All she wanted was a true answer. He would never have expected her to regard the possibility of her own death with such composure.

He tried to think how to answer evasively. But he was in the habit of telling her the truth, and accordingly said, "I don't know. From what Yuan said, the exsphere should take a long time to develop. In fact it should take years. But it's possible that it may act more quickly."

Anna nodded. "I see. So all I can do is wait?"

"Yes."

Kratos was shocked by how cold he sounded. But there was literally nothing else to be done. None of his magic could stop what the exsphere was doing to Anna, and they were several days away from the nearest town. Even then, a doctor would not help her.

Sitting down beside her, he tried to think what to say. He could guess what she would have said to him if their positions were reversed, and tried to form the words she would have spoken. On his lips, they sounded hollow, feeling less like comfort and more like reproach: "Anna, why do you automatically think that you'll die? This loss of energy is probably temporary."

Anna looked at him for a moment before a gentle smile crossed her lips. "I don't know. I guess because in the ranch, when a prisoner became weak it meant that their exsphere was ready to be taken off. And when that happened, we never saw any of the people again. That might be why. But you're right- it was stupid of me to jump to that right away."

Kratos stared into the night sky before saying softly, "I did not help with my response."

Anna laughed out loud. "Maybe not. But at least you're beginning to recognize when to not be grim and dour."

"Even if it's too late for me to use my lesson?"

"Well, at least you learned it, didn't you?"

Kratos smiled. "I think I've learned that I should leave it to you to be the cheerful one."

Anna rolled her eyes. "That's just an excuse for you to be lazy. You still need to try." Reaching out, she ran her hand through his hair, brushing it back from his eyes. Her tone was more serious, but a smile was on her lips as she went on, "I'm happiest when I see you happy, but it's really tiring trying to get you to laugh, and frankly, you should be able to do that without my help at this point. After all, you've been able to start again. As have I. Between the two of us, we have a lot to be happy about."

Kratos thought about her words and almost without thinking, took her hands in his. How she could be happy was beyond him. She had lived her entire life a prisoner. And even now, she was not wholly free- she was a fugitive, and even now suffered from what she had endured. If anything, she should be bitter, cynical.

"Are you all right?"

Her voice startled him despite its quiet tone. Kratos could not bring himself to meet her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" She paused and then asked with a smile, "Are things really that bad, and I'm just not seeing it?"

Kratos laughed aloud and brushed her hair back from her face. "No, Anna." He let his fingers trace her jawline and tried to think, to reason with himself. At last he gathered himself and spoke, "Anna, you are one of the most confusing people I've ever known. I don't doubt that you are happy, but how can you be? How is it in human nature to be happy, after what you have endured?"

"How am I supposed to explain that?" she exclaimed, sounding annoyed.

Kratos felt more lost than ever, for he had intended to compliment her. Anna seemed to notice his surprise, for she laughed softly and lowered his hand to clasp it in both of hers. She sighed, "Kratos, I don't know. How can I possibly answer a question that- that sweeping? I don't have anything to go on. All I know is that I'm happy for the first time I can clearly remember. If I shouldn't be- well I am, and you'll just have to take me as I am."

"As you are- you still baffle me. But I think I'm getting used to that."

Anna grinned. "Well, at least I'm not annoying you anymore."

"When did you- why do you think you annoy me?"

Her burst of laughter rang off the trees, and Noishe, who was lying a few feet away, pricked up his ears. Anna smiled, and leaned back on her hands. "Kratos, the first day I met you, you didn't seem to mind me- you told me everything, after all. But after that- I remember the first week, you would glare at me if I asked you a question, and if I spent too long staring at something, you would give me the most contemptuous look I've ever seen. At the beginning, I definitely irritated you."

Kratos smiled a little as he remembered those early days. Though he did not want to admit it to her, she was right; she had irritated him beyond measure with her unbridled fascination in everything. It had taken him a very long time to become accustomed to her delight in the world around her. "You could see so much beauty in everything," he said quietly. "And I could not."

"Were you looking?" Anna returned. "You must be able to see some beauty in things. There's a lot to see."

He hesitated a moment. This was something he could not answer without sounding ridiculous. Yet he wished to give her a truthful answer, an answer that could somehow explain himself more fully without too many words. But the only answer in his mind was one that he shied away from saying aloud. Anna watched him with thoughtful eyes. A silence fell.

At last Kratos made up his mind and drew a deep breath. "Anna, you were the first sight on this world that I found beautiful. When you first met Noishe, when you smiled at me that night- I have never seen anything lovelier."

For a moment, he expected her to laugh at him, and for an instant she looked as though she might. Her mouth curved upward in the same smile that he remembered from that night. But this time her lips were trembling. Her brown eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and Kratos realized with shock that they were filled with tears. "You mean that," she stated.

Kratos was amazed to hear her voice tremble. She looked shaken, but he had never seen her eyes look so joyful. A tear slipped down onto her cheek, and he brushed it away. As before, he kept his hand on her cheek. "Yes, Anna, I mean it," he said softly, unable to hold back a smile. "I mean it with all my heart."

Anna smiled and looked at the ground. Shyly, almost as though she felt the need to explain herself, she whispered, "I never would have thought you'd say something like that."

"You know better now."

She grinned. "I do indeed; I don't think I'll ever forget that."

"It was that unexpected?"

"Yes!" Anna exclaimed. "Yes- I just- I wouldn't have expected you to think that. Or it may be that I- well, I- I liked hearing that."

Kratos smiled a little. "I would imagine it's more agreeable than being treated as an inanimate object."

She laughed aloud. "You'd be right."

Clouds began to cover the moon, which hung low in the eastern sky. Kratos rose and set about building a fire. Soon the red flames were crackling merrily. Anna slid along the ground until she was close to the warmth. While she ate, she stared into the heart of the fire. Kratos sat some distance away from the flames, watching every shadow. He wished that there had been a way to avoid the fire, but it was far too cold to be without one, and it might deter any wild animals that might otherwise attack. Yet the possibility of being spotted by any wandering patrol still worried him.

"Kratos-?" Anna's voice startled him, and he turned to look at her. She had not moved, but looked curious. "Are you- well, what are you watching for?"

"Any danger."

Anna looked at her hands, and Kratos could tell she was smiling a little as she said, "This may sound like an odd question, but why do you never look at a fire? I can't remember you ever looking at one, even back in Asgard."

"If I needed to look up into the forest, I wouldn't be able to see. The flames would make it hard for me to see in the dark."

She nodded and commented, "Shame. You're missing a lot."

"What do you mean?"

With a quick motion, she beckoned him to come close to her. Suppressing a sigh, he walked to her side.

She groaned, "Sit down, will you?" Reluctantly he sat down a little behind her. She turned her head towards him. "Can you see the embers?"

"Anna, why do you want me to look at the embers?"

"Would you please just look at them for a little?"

Kratos did so, wondering what she could possibly want him to see. There was nothing remarkable; it was a fire.

He said as much to Anna, and she shook her head. Kratos could only see the back of her head and her shoulders, but he knew that she was frustrated. He heard her fingers snap a twig. For a moment she was silent. Then her head raised a little, and he knew she had an idea. "Kratos, can you describe it to me? The fire, I mean."

Lost for words, he stared at the flames. How could he describe something that changed constantly? "Anna, it's impossible. The flames leap from one log to the next, and the color isn't ever quite the same; it changes from red near the embers to yellow in the flame. The embers are like nothing else in the fire-" His voice trailed off.

Anna laughed, "For something that's impossible to describe, you're doing a pretty good job. Keep going!"

Kratos shook his head, still unsure what she wanted from him. "The embers shimmer, and they change from red to pale grey to red, sometimes standing out against the blackened logs and sometimes breaking and sending up small sparks. They look almost like jewels, but alive…" The full ridiculousness of what he was saying hit him, and he broke off. "Anna, why am I doing this? Don't you see the exact same things I do?"

Her voice was thoughtful. "I don't know. For a moment, when you were describing the embers- I thought we did. But I love looking at the embers of a fire; when you said they constantly change- that's why I love it. Can you see that?"

Kratos looked down at the flames again. "Anna, I don't know. I see that you love it. I don't know if your delight is something you can teach."

She leaned back against his chest. "Maybe it's not, but you might be able to learn it."

"Maybe. But what good will it do? My staring enraptured into a fire won't help us in our situation."

Anna sat upright and turned to face him. "Kratos, that's not the point! I know it won't help us avoid our pursuers, or win any battles! I- I don't know. I don't understand any more than you why this means so much to me, but I wish you could see through my eyes, just this once! It might make everything that's hard in the world easier to bear if you can see that there are reasons to be happy in it!"

She looked at the ground, and then added words that surprised him beyond measure: "And I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier today, when you were trying to get me to ride Noishe."

Kratos was so surprised by the change of topic that he could only stare at her. It seemed the more he knew of Anna, the more she could catch him off-guard. Finally he found his voice. "It's all right."

In a glance he took in the firelight flickering on her brown hair, the sparkle in her eyes, and the faint smile on her lips. Everything about her looked warm, vibrant, and alive. Was she everything he was not, or could she draw something out of himself that he had lost?

The question echoed in his mind even as he said haltingly, "Anna, I'll try to see what you do. But at the moment, you are the main reason I can bear the hard in the world, as you put it. When I see your joy, I know I want to find it in myself. That's all I can do now."

Anna lay back so that her head lay on his right shoulder. "Kratos, all I'm trying to say is that I want to see you happy. That's all I want now. It's not as complicated as I made it seem. In fact, it's pretty simple."

He looked down at her. Contentment was written in her face as she stared at the flickering fire. For a while he was silent, thinking. Anna was so strange to him and yet he could not imagine himself without her. Seeing her small hands clasped in her lap, feeling the rhythm of her breathing as she lay against him, hearing the sound of her laughter- how had he borne the time without her?

An impulse took him and he bent down to kiss her, letting his lips press against her hair, then trace her cheek, and last of all brush her mouth. Anna turned slightly and raised her hand to his shoulder, drawing him closer. As a result, their kiss lasted much longer than Kratos had originally intended, though he had no wish to end it. When they drew apart, she surveyed him with a smile. "I have to admit I was hoping for a more articulate response than that," she said teasingly. "But I can put up with that for now."

Kratos stroked her hair. "How can you expect anything more from someone you deem monosyllabic?"

Anna laughed so hard that Noishe raised his head in surprise. Kratos smiled and stood up to go back to where he could watch the forest more readily. Anna lay down, still staring into the fire, and her breathing grew slower and deeper. When Kratos looked at her again, she had fallen asleep, her hair tousled, and her hands under her head.

Kratos sat down, looking into the trees, but barely seeing them. He stared at the shadows, thinking over every moment he had spent with Anna, every word exchanged, every touch. When it had happened, he did not know, but at some point, she had come to mean enough to him that he would do things he would never have considered. Why else would he try to describe a fire, or cheer her when she was unhappy? Even though he failed often, something about her called him back to try again, to keep her hopeful and strong. If he could do that for her, then he wished to, more than anything.

He lowered his head, wondering if he should simply acknowledge that perhaps Yuan was right. With a sigh, he scratched Noishe's head. "When did she come to mean so much? When did her fate become so important? How did she come to mean the world to me?" he whispered.

Noishe raised his head to give Kratos a mocking stare. Kratos rolled his eyes. "Perhaps you're right. It doesn't matter when it happened, what matters is what is."

The night wore on. The fire slowly died. With a soft thud the blackened branches fell apart and collapsed on the bed of coals. "The embers are gone," Kratos whispered. "But tomorrow Anna will find something else to see. And I can only stare at her in awe, in the same way she stared at the embers. And if I have to explain that stare, if she asks me what is wrong- what can I tell her? Other than that she is everything to me now? Other than that she is the only reason I want to mend this world? Other than that I cannot stop thinking of her, marveling at her? Other than that- is the only option to simply tell her I love her?"


	23. Strangeness

**This chapter ended up being a little more filler-y than I intended, but I promise things will get moving after this. I do have to say though, that this pesky thing known as "real life" has been giving me trouble, so I don't know when I'll have the next chapter up. I'm hoping it won't be too long, but I can't make any promises.**

**CommodoreZelda13: I love writing things like that; I just hope it's staying believable. And as regards the whole "shimmer" thing, I know it's weird, which is why he stopped! I'll try and watch myself though. Hopefully I won't make too many mess-ups like that again...**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Thanks for catching the typos! They are now fixed and no longer a problem. Sorry about that...but I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**Snowstar of RiverClan: Um...don't know what to say to that other than "glad you liked it". And you get major points for reading and reviewing every single chapter. I can't believe you read this whole thing in such a short span, but I really appreciate it! I'm really happy you like it that much!**

**andy: You basically said everything I was dreaming somebody would say about this story: that you like Anna, that you understand why Kratos became the way he did after her death, and that their relationship is believable and likeable. Thank you so much for your review- it honestly made my day when I read it.**

**angelinhell: (It's not letting me type your name, sorry) I get sad thinking about that too. And I know things have been a little slow- action isn't really my strong point, but I'll definitely work on it. The pace should pick up in a few chapters, I promise. I hope it doesn't get boring! **

**Don't own. And Fanfiction's traffic feature is still not working, so I can't tell if anyone's reading...unless you review. Regardless, enjoy. **

It had been almost two weeks since Anna and Kratos had fled the Palmacosta Ranch. Their progress had been hindered by the effect of Anna's exsphere; it was only when her fractured ribs were more fully healed that the sapping of her energy had ceased. Both she and Kratos had spoken about her sickness, but could come up with no satisfactory reason as to why it had happened. What Anna had not mentioned was that she was certain that her exsphere was larger than it had been before.

With a sigh she brushed aside her thoughts and concentrated on the surrounding land. The road on which they walked was deserted. It was a hard track of dirt that wound through fields and around small houses. The fields looked bleak without any plants to give them life. Anna had to remind herself that it was close to winter, and that in the spring the place would have a more cheerful appearance. A pale sun shone above their heads. In the distance, round low hills rose smoothly against the blue sky. Kratos had said the previous day that the town of Asgard was beyond those slopes. Anna had been furious when he had said that she should not go into the town, but had gotten little response out of him.

The wind's velocity seemed to grow greater the nearer they drew to the hills. Anna found herself enjoying the violent gusts far more than she would have expected; something about the wild rush of air made her feel incredibly alive. "Why is it so windy here?" she asked Kratos.

"The seal of wind is near Asgard, and its effects can be felt sometimes. As they are now," he added as a burst of wind seemed to pounce on them. Anna laughed as the tails of Kratos's coat whipped over his head and he fought to settle them. He avoided her eyes. Anna grinned, and made no comment.

By midafternoon, they had passed through the low hills. The road wound its way through the mounds, snaking between the steep sides. When they emerged, the town of Asgard lay some distance away. Anna could see smoke rising from the distant houses. She turned to face Kratos. "For the last time, can I go with you?"

"No."

Anna groaned and turned away. She was surprised to hear Kratos say, "Anna, I know you want to be able to go among others, and I wish you could. But the risk is too great."

"And if you leave me here by myself? That didn't go well last time."

"Last time we were in a city, and you were spotted."

Amused by his quiet tone, she laughed and turned to stare at Asgard. She had expected him to become defensive when she spoke of what had happened at Palmacosta. But his voice was level and he displayed no emotion of any kind. After a few seconds she looked back at Kratos. He was watching her narrowly, which she knew meant that she had confused him yet again.

She sat down on a rock beside the road. Staring at the ground, she asked, "Kratos, you do understand, don't you, why I want to go?"

He looked at her. "You want to see how others live, and you want to live yourself."

Anna nodded. To her embarrassment her eyes filled with tears. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, that is what I want. I just want to live. Because if we keep running like this, what's the point? What are we doing, how are we helping anyone by scurrying around the country?" A tear slipped down her cheek, but she refused to acknowledge it by wiping it away.

"Can you think of anything else to be done?"

Kratos's voice was so quiet that she almost felt as though she had thought the words, rather than heard them. Anna knotted her hands. More than ever she wished that she had something of his self-possession.

Then she shook herself. She would never have his strength. All she had was her own. She laughed softly. "No," she said, her voice growing stronger as she met Kratos's eyes. "No, I can't. I wish I could, but-" she stood and rubbed her arms, looking out at Asgard. For a moment she was silent. Slowly she spoke again, "There's so much out there that I still don't understand. I just want to find something I know I can hold onto. I still feel incomplete with the way things are now."

"If you were incomplete, you would not have survived the way things are now."

Anna laughed aloud and turned to Kratos, putting her hands on his shoulders. "For some reason, I think you're leaving somebody out of my survival story."

Kratos gave her a quizzical glance. Anna began to laugh again. "Do you really not know who I mean?" she demanded. "Or are you just dying to be praised again? Either way, I think I'll embarrass you as much as I can now. First, I would not be out of the ranch if not for you. I know that I can say anything to you because you won't laugh at me for it, and that you'll listen. You've saved my life more times than I can count. Not to mention that since I'm with you, I get to travel with a man who causes women in villages to walk into walls because they can't keep their eyes off him."

Kratos gave her a glare. "Anna."

She laughed even harder. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed that," she gasped. "Every woman I've met has commented on how good-looking you apparently are. Truthfully I don't see it; your hair's a mess and you never smile. Ever."

He turned his head quickly, but Anna was certain that he had, at least for a second, smiled. She sighed and stepped back, allowing her left hand to slide down and take hold of his right. "Kratos, are you all right?" she asked quietly. "And don't just tell me 'yes', because you've been acting odd for the past few days."

"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding faintly annoyed.

Anna grinned. "Yes, you've been acting odd. Lately I've woken up to see you pacing at strange hours of the morning, which is really not normal for you. And lately you just seem- preoccupied or more- I don't know- nervous."

A faint smile crossed Kratos's face. "How are you able to tell that?"

"You're not really very hard to understand, you know," she said gently.

Kratos stared at her for several seconds before turning his head. But not before Anna could see that he was laughing. "What is it?" she demanded. "What did I say?"

"Anna, I've never had anybody tell me I was easy to understand."

At that Anna burst into laughter herself. "They can't have known you all that well, then! It's really easy to tell what mood you're in."

Kratos clamped his lips shut and turned away from her. Anna smiled. "For instance," she continued, "now you're annoyed. And embarrassed."

He turned to glare at her, which only made her laugh harder. "Are you going to deny it?" she asked.

She was certain she saw his lips trembling as he tried to hold back a smile. She shook her head. "Why does that embarrass you, anyway?" she asked. "What's so bad about people knowing what you're thinking?"

"People can use that knowledge against you, Anna."

"And you think I'm going to do that?"

"No!" Kratos exclaimed. Immediately he looked more exasperated with himself than before.

Anna grinned and before he could object, stood as tall as she could and kissed him on the mouth quickly. "I think I can guess what you mean," she said lightly. "But what I don't understand is what's been the matter with you the past few days."

"That has nothing to do with this."

"We were talking about it only a few minutes ago."

His face tensed. "It's not important."

"Then why not tell me?"

Kratos shrugged and looked toward the town. "I will later, Anna."

"Why later? Why not now?"

For a moment he hesitated. At last he said with certainty, "It's just not important now."

"Why not?" Anna asked. "If it's bothering you, do you think I'm going to just let that go?"

"You should."

Anna laughed, "Well, I won't. So what's the matter?"

Kratos sighed. "Anna, I will tell you, just not now."

Something in his voice made her look at him more closely. His face was drawn, and she wondered why he was so preoccupied. They had had no encounter with Desians, nor had they met many people on the road. The few travellers they had seen had paid them no heed. Why should he look almost- almost nervous?

She clasped his right hand in both of hers, noting with faint amusement how even both her hands were dwarfed by one of his. For a moment she struggled to form words. Finally she took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Kratos, I don't mean to- to pester you. But I do still want to know what is troubling you. It's just this- I know I tell you things, when I'm worried or afraid. And I love knowing that I can do that. I don't know if you want to tell me things the same way, but I want you to know that- that if you want to, I want to help."

"Do you tell me such things, Anna?"

His question startled her. "What do you mean?"

"You want to live at peace; you mentioned that to me once. I've never heard you mention it again, but I know that you suffer every time you see others, and that you long for that life. Yet you've rarely mentioned how badly you want to live a normal life."

Anna shook her head, smiling. "You idiot, I think I also mentioned that I wanted to stay with you. I know what that entails."

"Do you?"

"Yes," Anna growled in exasperation. "Yes, I know what it entails, and even if I didn't, I'd have figured it out by now."

Kratos looked at her strangely. "You truly know what you've gotten yourself into then?"

"Yes!" Anna shouted. "Yes, I know that I've gotten involved with a stubborn idiot who needs to have the same thing shouted at him ten times, and even then he doesn't get it!" She tried to maintain her frustration, but instead found herself laughing. "And I know that for some reason, I truly want this idiot to understand that I care about him, and I want him to just be happy." Her voice grew softer as she went on, weighing every word, "Because as-as blind as this man can be, he's done so much for me. Around him, I can be happy. I know that when I see him happy, I'm happy too. And I know- I can see every day- that this man has suffered, and suffers still. And when I see that, I want to ease his suffering, or at least help him bear the burden."

Kratos smiled, but the look of sorrow in his eyes almost broke her heart. "Anna, I have four thousand years of sins. That is not a burden you should bear."

"Nor should you."

Kratos smoothed back her hair with his free hand, and his fingers slid down from her jawline to her neck. "I made the choices that led me where I am, Anna. I should deal with the consequences."

"But not alone," she said with certainty. Kratos looked down at her with a strange smile on his face. That expression was not the smile that she knew when he was smiling at something she had said. The look on his face was almost gentle. Anna met his gaze and felt her desire to interrogate him die down. Never in her life could she have imagined that someone would want to spare her from suffering. She was so used to having to bear pain that it was the only way of life she knew. Yet not only did Kratos wish to shield her, he wished to endure his pain alone. All her life she had seen others try to deflect their suffering by any means necessary. To see him try to endure on his own was both daunting and touching.

She laughed shakily, and without intending to, spoke aloud: "And you say I'm strange."

Kratos smiled again. Anna felt her heart race for no discernable reason. Swallowing hard, she tried to return the smile, but found herself trembling. She wondered desperately what had come over her. She felt as though there was something left unsaid. Something about their silence now was unlike anything she had ever experienced with him. But she could not think of what would fill the sudden quiet that had come between them. Slowly Kratos lowered his hand from her shoulder and turned towards the town.

Anna drew a shaky breath. "So should we go into Asgard?" she asked.

He sounded amused as he answered, "I am going into Asgard. Unless you have a mind to tempt fate, you should not."

Irritated, she shoved him, but could not hold back a smile. "I was hoping you'd forgotten," she said. "Fine, but you need to make it up to me somehow."

"Will it be enough if I tell you what was on my mind when I get back?"

Anna caught her breath in sharply, and felt a surge of nervousness and anticipation combined. "Yes," she said, hoping she could keep her voice from betraying her strange reaction. "Yes, that will be enough."

She watched Kratos walk away down the path until he was no more than a small figure that faded against the faint outline of the town. Noishe had slunk off at some point during their conversation, and Anna had no idea where he had gone. Slinging her pack onto her shoulder, she walked up and around the hill to the left of the path so that she was sitting on the southward side away from both the town and the road.

The wind whistled between the hill on which she sat and the hill she faced. She smiled as she remembered how strange Kratos had seemed. He was so quiet much of the time, but his silences were never all the same. It was easy for her to see when he was contented, when he was thinking about where they would go, or when he was brooding over his past. But his latest mood was baffling to her. Lately he had seemed almost as though he were deliberating whether or not he should do something. And why was it that he would not tell her what it was?

She wondered with sudden panic if he was going to try to get rid of her. What if he was tired of being with her, and could not think of a way to tell her? Anna felt her fists clench at the thought of being alone again. "And really, what do I have that would make him want me?" she asked the wind. "And why, for heaven's sake, do I want him to need me so badly? What is the matter with me? Is it just because he's the first friend I've had? Or is it that I think he understands how I feel sometimes, when I think of my wasted life?" Her voice broke a little as she whispered, "I'm certain no one else could even begin to comprehend how lonely I've been. I think he knows that; he knows when I need to be left alone and when I need to be comforted. But I still feel like I could know him better- and yet how?"

In an effort to chase her thoughts away she darted to the top of the hill and looked around. The landscape that met her eyes was bare and flat. The fields that surrounded Asgard were grey-green with dead grass. The clouds above the town were tinged with grey, and the wind seemed to blow with increased intensity as she stood on top of the hill. Yet something about the sky, the wind, and the wide space around her made her feel incredibly alive. She tried to ignore the nagging wish that Kratos could be standing beside her, seeing the charm of the road and the fields spread out beneath her feet. After all, he would be back soon enough and would tell her what had been on his mind.

She threw herself down on the ground and began to twist some long yellow grass in her hands. For a long time she remained there, trying not to think about the feeling that had surged within her when Kratos had smiled at her. But despite her best efforts, she could not avoid her thoughts. "Why did I-where did that- that strangeness come from?" she asked the wind. "It was so simple before- but now- now I feel that I want more than anything else to see him smile, that I'm at peace when I see him happy, and- and that I can bring that to him."

She groaned softly and threw her head back to stare at the sky. "Is that me being a fool? Or- or- oh goddess," Anna whispered, the long disused expression falling from her lips in her shock. "Is it- have I found myself enough that I could love him? Is that it- am I even capable of that? But how would I even know love if I had it, or felt it? But I- oh goddess, I care for him so much. I know that. I care for him far more than I ever thought possible. I know that the thought of him suffering hurts me more than anything I've ever endured, and I know that I want so badly for him to be at peace. And he's given so much to me! I was so dead before he came, I barely felt anything at all. But now- now I can laugh with him, I can be strong, and I-" she lowered her head, "I trust him. I say whatever's in my heart- to him."

Heart pounding, she stood up and scanned the road. Out of nowhere, Noishe came loping up the hill and stood beside her. Anna glanced at him and smiled. "He can't have missed that something's different now," she commented to the protozoan. "And if what I think is right- what now? Is- was Yuan right? Could he feel the same way?"

She whispered the last question to the wind, which bore her words away into nothingness. For nearly half an hour she stood, watching the road. Small figures occasionally crossed the road to and from Asgard, but none of them turned to look at the hill. Anna could not see any of them in detail, but suddenly Noishe barked. At that distance none of the travellers should have been able to hear, but one of the figures stopped and began to make his way toward the hill. Anna's breathing grew shallower as she recognized the red hair and dark blue garb. With trembling hands she brushed her hair out of her face and watched as Kratos ascended the hill.


	24. One Thing I Would have Added

**That wasn't as long I was afraid it would be; 9 days isn't too bad, right?**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for catching my mess-up (again!); it's no longer a problem. **

**CommodoreZelda13: It will get answered this chapter, I swear! Calculus is mind-melting by nature, so thanks for taking the time to review! **

**andy: Wow. I'm really happy you like it that much! I still think I botched the beginning, but if you're reading by this point, you clearly don't mind. Thanks so much for your support; it really means a lot.**

**Jnaso: Thanks for reviewing! Yes, that is part of the reason it's been a little slow; I don't think that life was one constant chase for them, at least not towards the beginning. Since they were able to survive until Lloyd was three, I think that life for them wasn't a perpetual battle. I'm happy you like my writing style; it has a long way to go, but that's why I'm here, after all.**

**Own nothing. I wouldn't be here if I did. Enjoy!**

The streets of Asgard were crowded, but Kratos was vaguely aware that he was out of place. The sword at his side and the clothes he wore set him apart from the farmers and craftsmen who dwelt in the town. But the stares of the townspeople made little impression on him. He had purchased the few things he and Anna would need; non-perishable supplies and a small tent. He knew that he would have to go back to her soon. But he delayed, leaning against an abandoned shed that lay beside a blacksmith's shop and looking out at the main street.

Remaining was foolish. Kratos knew that by staying in the town he was only prolonging his nervousness of facing her. Yet he smiled a little. He felt that Yuan's words would lessen the surprise she might feel if he were to tell Anna that he loved her. But her feelings for him were another matter. For if he acknowledged that he loved her when she did not feel the same, it would make their travels much harder. It would not be easy to endure the constant isolation from the world if they had such an imbalance between them.

He looked out at the sky. Every rational impulse in his mind told him that he should never have allowed himself to grow so close to her. She could not possibly know the full extent of the danger he placed her in, and by remaining with him, she was cutting herself off from every last semblance of a normal human life. Kratos clenched his hands. For her own sake, she should not love him. And yet he hoped that she did, and that hope astonished him. The longing that rose in him when he thought of Anna's love, the wish that it might be his, was unlike anything he had ever felt in his long life. It was far more powerful than any emotion; it was a force in itself. One that he could not ignore.

With a shake of his head, he looked at the ground. What was it about Anna that had roused this in him? He knew that her trick of suddenly looking at him and smiling was enough to make him smile back. He knew that he trembled when she kissed him and that his heart beat slightly faster when she took his hand. Her conversation with him, her laughter, her open-hearted questions, and her quick gentleness when she saw him downcast never failed to put him at his ease. Never had Anna looked at him with distaste, fear, or hatred. At times Kratos caught a look in her eyes when she watched him that, for lack of a better word, he would describe as compassionate. And yet none of those traits seemed to adequately explain why he felt as though he would endure any kind of pain to spare her, why he wished to give her strength, why he longed for her to open her heart to him.

He laughed softly. To be baffled by love was so human. And Anna had unwittingly brought him to that point. He wanted her to know that. He wanted her to understand how much she meant to him, how much he wanted to change, now that he loved her. With that in mind, he knew that he would tell her, regardless of whether or not she asked him. For indeed nothing other than his unspoken love had been on his mind. She had noticed the symptoms of his thoughts; it was only fitting that she know the cause.

Now that he had resolved to tell her, he knew that he should go. Yet he lingered still, this time desperately trying to find the words he would use. But they would not come. He paced the streets, checked his supplies, and went into one last shop. But he knew he could not stay much longer, and did not remain inside long. There was no point in staying longer than he needed to.

Kratos quickly reached the outward limits of the town. Anticipation and nervousness rose and fell within him, and again he had to smile at how long it had been since he had felt anything that could remotely recall the person he might have been. And if Anna, by some miracle, loved him- perhaps he could become that person. If Anna could see anything of worth in him, then for her sake he would bring it out.

He was surprised to see how quickly he had reached the rolling hills where he had left Anna. She was nowhere to be seen in the area surrounding the road, but he heard a faint bark from the nearest hill on the westward side of the road. Kratos glanced up and saw Anna and Noishe standing on the rim of the hill, sharply outlined against the clouded sky. Immediately he left the road and made his way steadily up the hill.

When he reached the top he was surprised to see how pale Anna looked. Her breathing was light and fast as though she had had some kind of shock. Her left hand was in the act of brushing her brown hair back from her face, and Kratos noticed that the hand was shaking. "Did something happen?" he asked.

To his surprise Anna laughed strangely, as though she were laughing at herself, and shook her head. "No," she answered. "No, nothing- nothing happened."

With a shrug she folded her arms as a blast of wind swooped down upon the hilltop. "So what about you?" she asked. "What took so long? Was it crowded, or something?"

"Not really, no." He drew a coat out of his pack. "I found this. You will need it as the weather gets colder."

Anna laughed, "It's pretty cold now, so thanks." She drew the coat over her shoulders. The grey fabric was worn, and the garment was a little too large for her, but it was the right length and she seemed to like it. She buried her hands in the sleeves of the garment and looked up at him with a serious look in her brown eyes. A silence fell.

At last Kratos broke the silence. "I remember that I said I would tell you what had been troubling me."

Anna smiled. "I'm glad you brought it up, because I had no idea how to ask you and I wasn't about to let you get away with not telling me. So what has it been?"

Kratos hesitated, and clenched his hands. He wished that he had something definite to lead into his declaration, but he could think of nothing to say other than the words themselves. Anna shifted and let her eyes fall, a smile playing on her lips. "Can you give me a hint at least?" she asked quietly.

"I can do more than that," Kratos answered. Anna's face and eyes became thoughtful, though the small smile remained. Kratos felt his breath catch in his throat. More than ever he wondered what the outcome of this would be. He was certain that the warmth shared between him and Anna would not remain stagnant; it must either grow stronger or die down. And now that he was certain of his love for her, he knew that he could not allow this moment to pass. He would not let that warmth die down, though he prayed that what he had to say would not kill it.

With an effort he held her gaze and spoke slowly, hoping his words rang true. "Anna, it is simply this: I love you. I do not know when I began to. I don't know if you could ever love me; I have no right to expect it, but I hope for it more than I can ever tell you. That is why I have been acting odd, as you put it; because you have been my only thought for the past few days, because I have been trying to decide how I could tell you without sounding a fool."

Anna did not look surprised, and laughed softly. "I don't think you could ever sound like a fool. I-" She swallowed and cleared her throat. Staring out over the land, she continued, sounding as though she were trying to control her voice, "I thought that- that maybe that was what you were going to say. Ever since Yuan spoke his piece at the cliffs, I wondered if-if he had been just- I don't know- mocking- or if he meant it."

"I don't know if he knew how right he was," Kratos said. He wished more than ever that the half-elf had kept his mouth shut; though he had no idea if that would have affected Anna's reaction.

She seemed to notice his tension, but said nothing. For long time she remained still, a small figure silent against the sky. Noishe shoved his nose into her hand and she absently stroked the protozoan's head. Not once did she look Kratos's way. A gust of wind flattened the long grass of the hill. Still she was silent. Kratos felt a cold fear gnaw at his stomach, gradually making its way to his heart. So this was to be the beginning of the end of their friendship.

At last Anna turned to him. He had no idea what expression was on his face, but what she saw there made her laugh even as her eyes filled with tears. "Don't look that way!" she exclaimed. "Kratos, you look as though you're waiting on a death sentence! I just- I wasn't sure what to say, that's all. I- truth be told, I'm still not sure."

She put a clenched fist to her forehead and drew a deep breath. Slowly she spoke, her voice shaking: "All I ever know of love is what I overheard other people saying in my time at the ranch. I've never experienced it. I don't- I just don't know it. That's why I didn't say anything- I honestly just have no knowledge of –how I- what I want to say – oh, I don't know." She lowered her hand from her head, and stared at the ground. Finally she looked up at Kratos and continued, "When you say you love me, I honestly don't know if I feel the same as you."

Kratos lowered his head, feeling as though he had been thrust into a dream, though there was no indication of whether or not it had the makings of a nightmare. "That is fair enough."

Anna laughed and took his right hand in both of hers. Something in the cold touch of her fingers on his drew him into wakefulness. This was no dream. Now he felt acutely aware of every breath she took, every tremor of her body. Anna looked up at him and smiled. "All I know is what I do feel for you," she said softly. "I know that when I see you suffering- I want to bear your pain for you. I know that whenever I suffer that you'll do your best to help me. I know that when I'm with you-" she caught her breath, and for the first time her voice shook, "I know that when I'm with you- that's enough for me. You give me so much joy, and you have more strength and more courage than anyone I've ever known. And I know that I want you to be happy. More than anything else, I want that."

She dropped his hand and turned away. Kratos, who had been standing as though petrified, realized that she was almost weeping. Before he could do anything she had quickly turned back to him. Her eyes were sparkling with tears. But when she spoke, her words amazed him: "I don't know if that's what you mean by love. But that's what I know I hold in my heart for you. And if that is what you mean by love, and if that is what you feel for me- then I am blessed beyond anything I could ever have hoped! If that is what you mean by love, then I have loved you, Kratos Aurion, for a very long time and with all my heart."

Kratos felt as though his own heart had stopped beating. Without thinking he bent and drew her to him. Smoothing her hair back from her face, he kissed her, savoring the warmth of her lips to his, the touch of her chilled fingers as they stroked his face, feeling the dampness of her tears as his face touched hers. He cupped her face in his hands, letting his fingers run through her soft hair. Their kiss deepened as Anna drew closer to him, slipping her left arm around his waist. For a long time they stood, two interlocked figures on the top of the hill.

At last they drew apart. Anna smiled with such happiness that Kratos could not hold back his own smile. Her right hand slid down to hold his left. "So tell me," she said lightly, "would you have done anything different if Yuan hadn't been such an idiot?"

He laughed aloud and turned to descend the hill. Anna walked beside him, her hand still clasped in his. Kratos thought about what she asked, and after some time shook his head. "Probably not," he admitted. "I think I still would have been as worried as I was."

Anna burst into laughter. "I don't see why you were worried. It's not like you have much competition, you know."

Kratos stopped dead. Was this fair to Anna? It smote him that she had known him, and only him, for so little time. How could he hold her to her declaration when she had no knowledge of anyone else? She should have had the chance to know others, to see other men who could provide the life of peace that she should have had. Yet the thought of another man holding her and receiving her smiles made his stomach turn and set his teeth on edge. Even as he thought this, however, he knew that he had to make sure that she had at least considered her choice.

"What's the matter?" Anna's voice cut into his thoughts. "I honestly don't think I've ever seen your expression change that quickly. What's wrong?"

"Anna, are you sure you've thought this through?" Kratos asked. "You have known no one- other than me. Are you sure you know what you're doing when you say that you love me?"

Anna stared at him open-mouthed before bursting into laughter. Kratos had no idea how to respond to her outburst and stared at her. She shook her head, still laughing. "Well at least I know that this kind of thing is new to you," she said lightly. "Kratos, asking someone if they know what they're doing is not a good way to answer when the person says they love you. Even I can tell you that."

Kratos turned his head aside. He had no idea how to respond. Anna dropped his hand and Kratos turned to look up at her. She stood a little above him on the hill, her brown hair whipping around her face. Her eyes were very serious. Something in their expression as she looked on his face made her companion acutely aware of the suffering she had endured. A sad smile crept across her face as she watched him. "Kratos, I know that you mean to help. But truly, I've seen enough to be able to tell good men from worthless ones. You are not worthless, I know that for certain. And if you think I should know others- I don't think that anyone else could ever comprehend what I've been through with so many years of my life gone. How could they? But I know that you do, or at least that you can relate to it. After all, you've been through more than I have. You have lost so much more."

He bent his head. Anna reached out with her right hand, and brushed his hair back from his face. "Haven't you?" she asked. "You lost your friends, and sacrificed your life for the sake of that madman's goals. And yet you still had the courage to endure, to try to mend it, and eventually to leave. When I say I love you, I say it with the certainty that you are a man worth loving, and a man whose love anyone would be blessed to have. "

Kratos clasped her hand, but could not meet her eyes. What she said seemed so strange to him. More than ever he wondered what the world would look like through her eyes. At last he said, "Anna, if that is the person you see, then I swear I will try live up to that."

Anna laughed again, more gently this time. "You don't need to try," she whispered. "That's already who you are. That's the person I love."

She slid her arms around his shoulders. Kratos drew her close, sharply aware of her cold fingers brushing his neck. He felt her heart beat against his chest, and quickly leaned down to kiss her, letting himself be overwhelmed with pure joy as he felt her respond. This woman loved him. He knew Anna well enough to know that everything she said was honest, and he had never heard her speak so openly before. She loved him. Kratos felt as though this moment had been far too long in coming. Now his doubts felt idiotic, the product of a wretched past that need have no bearing on the present. He had no place in this world if not for Anna, and he knew at last that he could give himself to her without fear. Now that he knew she loved him, he never wanted to let her go.

Keeping her words in mind, he braced himself for what he wished to ask her next. This question was madness, and he knew it. But nevertheless, he wished to ask it, for it would prove beyond question that he wished to be hers alone. Accordingly he drew back a little, though his lips still brushed her forehead as she remained in his arms. "Anna," he whispered. "I think if Yuan had not spoken, I would still have told you that I love you. But there is one thing I would have added."

"What is that?"

"Will you marry me?"

She drew back, looking completely astonished. Kratos did not let her out of his arms, though he wondered a little at her reaction. He had seen only two marriage proposals in his life; Yuan dropping on his knees for Martel, and a man very publicly proposing in a town square through which Kratos had been passing on one of the journeys of Regeneration. Both times the women had burst into tears and said "Yes." Anna did not look disposed to weep, but she gave no indication of what her answer would be. She stared at Kratos for some time, her lips trembling. Each beat of Kratos's heart seemed to last an age. He said nothing, and waited. He could feel her hands grip his shoulders.

At last Anna found her voice. "I mean that much to you?" she whispered. "That you want me for a wife? That you want me with you until I die? Even with my ignorance? Even with my pursuers? You are willing to endure that danger? You want me as I am?"

Touched by her words, Kratos let his fingers trace her cheek. How could she ever doubt that he would want her? She was the only person in the world to him. He nodded once. "Yes, Anna. I want you as you are."

He wished he could find words to elaborate, but there was no need. Her smile outshone any words he could have spoken. After a while, she spoke again: "When I'm with you, I know I can face anything, as long as you're with me. As you are- you are part of me. And so my answer is simply- yes, I will marry you."

A smile broke out on Kratos's face. He drew her to him and kissed her forehead before whispering, "Anna, hear me. I will not let any danger touch you. I swear to you that I will always keep you safe, that I will always protect you. I will do everything in my power to mend this world for you. You and I will have a peaceful life together, I promise."

And at that, Anna did begin to cry.


	25. No Longer A012

**I really liked this chapter when I finished it, but now I'm not sure- I still like it, but I feel like I'm letting the story drag. I apologize for this, and promise that the pace will pick up. On a brighter note- so many readers and reviewers! I love you guys! But I have to condense, because at times it feels like half this fic is my a/n's...**

**CommodoreZelda13, AngelofaWhiteNight, Snowstar of RiverClan: I'm so happy that you all liked it! I still have a lot of improvements to make (I've never written a romance before this) so I'm happy you like my efforts.**

**Jnaso: Haha, I'm glad it wasn't completely cliched! It's always a little gratifying to see people be surprised... and I can imagine the looks, that made me laugh! I'm glad you enjoyed it!**

****

andy: I'm happy you don't think it's cheesy; hopefully that's one mistake I can avoid. And I'm really glad it's making sense- I'm really trying to do their story justice, amateur as I am.

HeroR: Thank you for reviewing! Kratos has always struck me as a direct person; he doesn't say much, but what he says is to the point, which is why I had him be so straightforward. I'm happy you liked the chapter!

reviewer without a name- I cannot tell you how flattered and happy your words made me. I'm honored that you find this story memorable, and thank you so much for your good wishes! I wish you the same!

A cold breeze swept off the lake and wound its way through the streets of Luin. Layers of grey clouds gathered above the lake, darkening the village far before the usual time. Anna stood in one of the windows of the small inn, watching the weather. She sank onto the faded cushion of the window seat and pressed her forehead against the cold glass of the window, glad of the small fire that warmed the room.

They had decided to marry in Luin, though both she and Kratos knew that they could not stay there long. Anna was certain that if fortune had been kinder, they could have been happy living there. When she had suggested that place to Kratos, he had shrugged and said simply that her choice was enough for him, since he had no ties to this world. Convincing the pastor of the village to allow them to marry without witness, rings, or preliminary instructions had been difficult for them. In the end, Anna had simply said that she was an escaped prisoner, and that she and Kratos were on the run from the Desians. This had softened the elderly cleric considerably, and he had agreed to hold the ceremony that afternoon.

Anna sighed and lowered her head. Was marrying in accordance with the rules of a false belief truly worth the bother it had caused? Surely she and Kratos could have exchanged their vows without the need to go through this. And yet a part of her did want the ceremony. If she were to make that promise to Kratos in that church, it would feel almost like an act of defiance. But would the falsehood of the religion taint the words that they would speak?

She straightened up and shook herself. That was ridiculous. She and Kratos were the only ones who could affect the sincerity of their promise. And Kratos had said that there was no mention of Martel in the words of the marriage ceremony. But the thought that they would be making the vows before a false goddess still rankled in the back of her mind.

"Anna, what are you thinking about?"

She raised her head to see Kratos reflected in the windowpane. Without turning around, she could see that he was standing in the doorway of the small room. But she could not distinguish his features. With a smile, she turned to face him. He was framed in the doorway with one hand resting on a side panel. The light from the fire flickered on his face, which was obscured as usual by his reddish hair. Yet something about his whole demeanor made Anna's smile grow. His eyes had lost the sharp watchfulness that marked his face when they were travelling. Something about him was gentler, less distant. His eyes still betrayed his years; at least it seemed so to Anna. But he looked completely untroubled and the transformation wrought in him made Anna catch her breath. For the first time, she felt that the man she knew was truly visible. There was no barrier between them now.

Kratos gave her a faint smile, and moved into the room. "Anna, what are you thinking about?" he asked again.

Anna laughed and drew her left knee to her chest, resting her chin on it. "You drove it right out of my head," she answered. "I can't remember at all. But I think my thoughts were less pleasant, before you came."

He looked away from her, which made her laugh softly. "What?" she asked lightly. "Why the silence?"

Kratos turned to the fireplace and shifted one of the unlit candles on the mantle so that it lay in line with the others. "What am I supposed to say to that?" he asked over his shoulder.

Anna could hear the smile in his voice. She grinned. "Nothing. I just like seeing you turn red when I say things like that."

He gave her a swift glare. "Anna."

"You're doing it now," she pointed out, barely able to keep from laughing. Kratos turned away, and Anna watched him for a minute before rising and crossing to him. She stood beside him in silence for a moment before adding softly, "And just because I enjoy teasing you with those words doesn't mean that I don't mean them."

She saw a smile flash quickly across his face. "I know," he answered, so quietly she could barely hear him.

With a light step, Anna crossed the room to the bed where she had put out her only other outfit. It was a silver dress that she had found in the shop in Izoold. Anna had liked it because it fit her well. The soft fabric clung at the waist and sleeves, and flowed at the long skirt. When she had tried it on in the shop, all the women had insisted she take it. Now, as she looked at it, she had to smile. She would never have expected that the simple garment would be her wedding gown.

She sat down on the bed and fingered the beaded trim on the edges of the dress. Then she raised her head at a sudden memory. "I forgot about this," she said to Kratos. "But Yuan gave this to me to give to you." She leaned over the edge of the bed and hauled a white garment out of her pack. It was intricately designed, with many panels of cloth, and Anna had never seen anything like it. She looked up at Kratos, and caught the surprised look in his eyes. "Yuan said that you might want it for the memories," she added after a moment. "But I don't know what he meant by that. What is it?"

Kratos sat beside her and fingered the fabric, looking lost in his thoughts. For a long time he was silent. Anna said nothing, but watched his face narrowly. At last he met her eyes. "I used to wear this when I was a knight in Tethe'alla," he said quietly. "And Mithos preserved it after our transformation; perhaps as an effort to maintain something of what we had before everything fell apart."

Anna felt her heart contract at the sorrow in his voice, which she had inadvertently caused. It had never crossed her mind that the memories might be painful for Kratos. She could think of nothing to say, so she raised his left hand and pressed it to her lips for a moment.

A thought came to her and she rose to face him. "Wear it today," she said simply.

Kratos stared at her. "What?"

Anna laughed at the confusion on his face. "Wear it today," she repeated. "Because I think that today is going to start something where you can leave that past behind you. And I think it would be fitting, somehow." She grinned and added, "Besides, it's in better shape than what you're wearing now. And this is a marriage you're going to, after all."

A faint smile came to his face. Anna gave him a quick kiss and grabbed the silver dress from the bed. She ducked into the small washroom and changed as quickly as she could. As soon as she was clad in the dress, she tried to smooth her hair, which was tangled from when she had washed it earlier in the day. Her fingers refused to cooperate, and she realized that her hands were shaking. A smile crossed her lips. The wild delight coursing through her seemed to have destroyed her self-control.

She took a deep breath and gripped the edges of the washstand. "It's all different, so different from what I thought it would be," she whispered. "How did I get this lucky? In the human ranch, I didn't have any hope other than getting out. I never wanted anything definite. I was just a shadow of the person I am now. And now- now all I want is to be with Kratos and to love him."

Carefully she drove her hands through her hair. There was no hope of getting the tangles out, but she could at least look more presentable than she did now. At least her hair was clean. After some minutes she looked in the mirror. The picture she saw there shocked her. It was so different from the person she had seen long ago in the small hotel at the edge of the desert. The face in the mirror then had been pale, with sunken eyes and an air of restraint. Now Anna saw for the first time how those few weeks had changed her. Though she was still thin, she was no longer emaciated. Her brown eyes looked more alert and lively, her mouth less tight and drawn. She grinned at her reflection. "I wonder if this is an effect of the dress," she muttered to herself. "Either way, I hope this is what Kratos sees."

She rapped on the door of the room. "Can I come in?" she called. "It should be close to time anyway."

"Yes," Kratos's voice came dimly through the wood panels. Anna walked into the room and stopped dead at the sight of him. He was standing in the doorway to the hall, looking over his shoulder at her. He was wearing the white uniform and it had altered the way he carried himself, or so it seemed to Anna. He was no longer aloof, but proud. For the first time in a long time, she saw him as an angel, but no longer silent. He was clearly a protector and a guardian, no longer elevated and cold. She caught the flash of his red-brown eyes and had to smile at the way her heart was pounding.

"Should we go?" she asked.

Kratos nodded and took a deep breath. Anna stopped in the middle of putting on her coat to stare at him. "Are you nervous?" she asked as gently as she could. She hoped he could not see her smiling, but from the way he turned his head away from her, she had a feeling he had. Feeling slightly guilty, she drew on her coat and joined him at the door.

Before he could say anything, she spoke, "If you're nervous- well, so am I. And we both have reason, don't we? We're plunging into something that neither of us really know. Think about what we're facing."

Kratos gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "It's daunting," he said quietly. "Does it frighten you?"

"No," she answered. "Not really. I know that I probably should be frightened, but at the moment, all I can feel is happiness. And that's enough for me now." Anna raised her eyes to meet his and felt her heart race yet again. "Honestly, Kratos, I couldn't want anything more than this."

Hand in hand they went down into the street. The cold struck Anna's face, making her eyes water. She blinked at the grey sky, and then felt something soft brush her cheek. Amazed, she looked around.

Snow was falling. Small white fragments drifted down from the heavens, seeming to appear out of thin air. The effect on the darkened town was dazzling. Anna could not stop staring. She had only seen snow a few times, and those were through courtyard bars. And the snowfall had never been this heavy; the flakes that filled the air here were large and striking. She stared at one of the flakes caught on her coat, marveling at the delicacy of its structure. Even as she looked, it melted away. Kratos touched her arm with a smile, and they moved on through the town.

As they walked to the church, Anna realized that she was not the only one who was awestruck. People were coming out of their houses and leaving their shops to stare up at the sky and exclaim with one another about the weather that had struck their town. She turned to Kratos with a smile. "I'm glad this was the reason for the weather," she said lightly. "It's better than it being a storm."

He smiled. "Technically this is a storm, Anna. A snowstorm."

"I know that!" Anna groaned. She laughed as she looked at the sky again. "But it seems too…too peaceful to be called a storm."

"Maybe so. But what would you call it?"

"Just a snowfall. That's really all it is."

Kratos smiled and took his hand in hers. Slowly they passed through the streets. Anna noted every house, so small and yet so stable to her eyes. She wondered if Kratos and she could ever have a home, some place where they would not have to run.

Suddenly the small church was before them. Candles were lit in the windows of the little building, and the doorway was carved with an engraving of the goddess bestowing life on the world. Anna sighed. So much effort had been put into just the building, and even those who served the church gave up so much- and for nothing.

She felt Kratos's eyes on her, and raised her head. For a moment they looked at one another. His eyes softened slightly. "Do you still wish to do this?" he asked.

Anna laughed. "It's not the thought of pledging myself to you that bothers me," she said firmly. "I just don't like the thought of doing it here. But I think, as long as the promise doesn't mention Martel- and you said it doesn't- I don't mind where we make it. After all, that promise is what's important in this, right?"

"It is," Kratos answered with a smile. "But if it bothers you, we do not need to do it here."

"I don't mind it though," Anna said slowly. "It seems fitting that it be here- in Luin- I was born here, and now I'm truly getting my life again, so that feels right. And no matter where we say the words, they will be true. So I think it can be here as well as anywhere." She hesitated before adding, "Besides, it'll feel like a bit of defiance for the person who caused this whole mess. Even though he's twisted everything, I was able to meet you because of it."

"That is one blessing to come from this," Kratos said very softly. He looked from her to the door of the church. "Shall we go?"

The inside of the small chapel was bare, with some benches facing a small pulpit. The old pastor with whom they had spoken earlier in the day was standing there. His face broke into a smile at the sight of the two of them. "Since you are the only ones here, shall I begin?" he asked.

"Please do," Kratos answered. Anna glanced at him, and caught her breath. All her concerns about location felt petty compared to how she longed to promise herself to him, to show him how much he meant to her. Her eyes met his, and for what felt an age, they gazed at one another. Anna jumped when the pastor asked them to join hands. Kratos smiled very faintly at her, and took her right hand in his. The cleric cleared his throat and began to read from the small book he held. His preliminary words were lost on Anna, who was lost in a wave of happiness and amazement. It was not until the old man said "And so I ask you to take your vows to this union" that she began to listen intently, pondering each word and weighing it in her heart.

The priest turned to Kratos. "Do you, sir, take this woman for your wife, to love her and cherish her through fortune and misfortune, through sorrow and joy, and through good and evil, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," he answered clearly. His eyes were fixed on her, and Anna could not hold back her smile. She could feel tears welling, though she hoped she could restrain them long enough to say her own part without choking. The priest turned to her, and she swallowed as he began:

"Do you, woman, take this man for your husband, to love and support him through fortune and misfortune, through sorrow and joy, and through good and evil, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes," Anna answered without thinking, and then caught herself. "I- I do."

The pastor shut his book and looked at the two of them with indulgent eyes. But after a few seconds, he looked almost amused. Anna glanced at him in some confusion. The old man cleared his throat and said with more than a hint of laughter to Kratos, "You may now kiss your bride."

Anna was barely able to keep back her own laughter at the comingled embarrassment and irritation on her new husband's face. But she barely had time to see it before he swiftly bent and kissed her. The touch did not last nearly as long as she had hoped it would, but when Kratos stepped back she could see that he was smiling. He turned to the pastor. "Thank you for helping us on such short notice," he said quietly.

The old man shook his head. "It was my pleasure. Just be careful, the both of you." He sighed. "It shouldn't be too long until the Chosen's born, but even then we have to wait till the child's of age- I pray Martel protects you both until then."

"That's not-" Anna felt Kratos grip her hand tightly, and took a deep breath before continuing, "Thank you. We'll need every help that we can find."

As soon as they had left the church, Anna turned to Kratos. "I'm sorry about that," she said sheepishly.

He raised an eyebrow. "You did nothing wrong."

"I would probably have shouted at him for wishing us well, if you hadn't stopped me," Anna laughed. "Which is stupid, I know. I just- I hate seeing that- that- oh, I don't even know what I mean."

"I think I understand," Kratos said with a smile. "Do you wish to go back now?"

Anna nodded. "Yes. It's beautiful, but it's cold, and I'd rather be inside. The snow will still look the same."

They made their way back through the streets. Anna glanced at Kratos, who was walking with his head held high. Amazement and joy swept over her. How could she have gone from being a sullen prisoner to the person she was now? She knew that the answer was holding her hand and walking at her side; yet she could scarcely credit it. A laugh burst out of her heart as she looked at the grey sky, which still spilled snow on the town. Kratos looked at her. "I'm not AO12 anymore," she said, her voice trembling. "I have a name, I have you. It's- it's honestly incredible. I never even had the courage to dream for anything like this."

Kratos said nothing, but from the way he smiled and looked away from her, she knew her words had touched him. They came to the main square of the town. Anna recognized the fountain where she had sat the last time they had come to Luin. The market area was closed, and the water dull. But the snow lent the area an air of otherworldliness that Anna found breathtaking. "Do you remember this place?" she asked softly. "It seems like an age ago that we were here last."

They halted beside the stone curb of the fountain. "I remember it," Kratos answered, after a pause so long that Anna wondered if he was speaking to himself. But then he met her eyes and continued, "At times I cannot believe that this has happened."

"That makes two of us," Anna said lightly. "What made this happen, anyway? I can't think of anything that could have told me to expect this, and yet- I can't imagine anything else."

"Nor can I," Kratos said. "And yet perhaps it is just- that you and I know each other."

Anna shivered. "Maybe. We both have been stunted and almost broken, and yet-"

"And yet we are here."

She grinned. "Against every kind of logic, yes. Yes, we are."

Kratos lowered his head. "Against every kind of logic," he repeated quietly. "Yes, this is madness; there is no other way to describe it. But it is only mad because of a twisted mind. In a happier time, this would be the only right thing for us."

Anna shook her head. "It's the right thing now. The time we're in doesn't change that this love of ours is right, it is beautiful. It may be a miracle in this twisted world, but this love of ours is not madness."

For a while Kratos was silent. Then he laughed very softly. "Where would I be without you, Anna?"

"Probably safe," she answered teasingly.

"As safe as the dead can be, perhaps." He smoothed back her hair and kissed her gently. Anna let herself be wrapped in his arms, marveling at the pounding of her heart. When he drew back, she breathed deeply and laughed. "That was over too soon."

Kratos took her hand and they resumed their walk to the inn. "We have some time still, before we leave," he said after a moment.

Anna had to smile as the warm-looking building came into view. "Yes, we do," she whispered. "We have more than enough time."


	26. Going Into Hiding

**This chapter was hard to write for some reason. But I hope you guys like it! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate everyone who reads this- you all give me so much motivation. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: It's interesting you said "tied together"- one of the songs I listened to constantly while writing that chapter was 'Walk the Line' by Johnny Cash: "I keep my hands out for the tie that binds/ Because you're mine/ I walk the line."**

**CommodoreZelda13: I'm glad it made your day better; it's nice to know my writing can be helpful! And I'm so happy you like Anna, because I was so worried about whether or not I'd gotten her right. I just tried to imagine who Kratos would respond to, and went from there.**

**Snowstar of RiverClan: To the first point: I could not agree more. And to the second, yes of course- but I had to think of my rating :)**

**andy: Thank you for your flattering review! I'm happy you like it so much! **

**I own nothing at all. **

Kratos watched Anna as she ran the blue scarf through her hands. With a quick motion, she threw it around her shoulders, as one would wear a shawl. She looked up at him with a smile. "So what do you think?" she asked.

He felt his breath catch at how beautiful she looked. The early morning sunlight shone on her dark brown hair, and made her pale face look almost unearthly in its charm. In the dust and dreariness of Hima's marketplace, she looked more vivid than ever. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered when she had changed from the shrunken waif he had led out of Asgard into the vibrant creature that stood in front of him. Not that it mattered much.

"Kratos? What do you think?" she repeated, smiling more broadly at his silence.

He felt himself smile in response. "Do you need it?"

"Of course not," she laughed. "But I still like it."

The street vendor, a tall bony woman with a red face, snorted. "Of course a man would ask if it's needed. But it suits you very well, if you don't mind my saying so. And if he won't buy it for you, then he can take the title 'stingiest of husbands.' "

Kratos pointedly ignored the woman, though he was very conscious of Anna's grin. Instead he concentrated on watching the sparkle of Anna's brown eyes and the way her slender fingers ran over the texture of the fabric. Even though nearly two months had passed since their marriage, he still felt awed when she laughed, took his hand, or teased him. Each day with her reminded him of why he loved her and why he only felt alive when he was with her.

He was brought out of his reverie by his wife's laughing query: "So are you going to prove her wrong?"

Kratos blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Will you buy it for me?"

If she had asked him with a pleading look, he would have found it easier to say 'no', but her request had been made without hesitation or a hint of embarrassment. Her request seemed like a challenge where no matter what choice he made, he would lose.

He sighed very slightly. "If you wish, then yes, I will."

Anna touched his arm lightly to guide him to the stand where the vendor waited. "Thanks," she said cheerfully. "And you wanted leave soon, right?"

"We should, yes." As soon as he had paid over the necessary gald, he and Anna departed. After only a short walk, Hima was already far behind them, the small buildings fading into the cold sky. The surface of the plain on which they walked was hard brown stone. Mountains could be seen in the distance, away to the right of the path. Kratos felt as though they were laid bare to any attack, and he had to restrain himself from glancing up at the sky.

His attention was distracted when Anna caught him by the shoulder and kissed him with all the warm energy that had been apparent in her laughter in the village. Belatedly he slipped his hands around her waist and drew her close, so he could hold the kiss for as long as they both had breath to spare. Which in Anna's case was not nearly as long as Kratos could have wished.

As soon as she lowered her head, Kratos could not help but ask, "What was that for?"

Anna laughed and slipped out of his arms to resume walking along the path. "I wanted to do that back in the middle of Hima," she said lightly. "But I know you get uncomfortable when I kiss you with other people around. So I figured I'd wait."

"It is not because I am embarrassed to be with you," Kratos said uncomfortably.

"I know that. But I'm not going to deliberately make you uncomfortable for my own amusement. At least- not yet. You still need to learn to laugh at yourself a little more. And when you do, then I'll kiss you with all of Sylvarant watching."

For the rest of the day they made their way westwards. The level plain, broken by the occasional boulder, took most of the day to cross. As the red sun sank in the sky, they came to the end of the plain, where the path cut into a deep ravine with sloping sides of brown stone. As they were about to enter the cleft, Kratos's ears caught the sound of armor clanking. He caught Anna's arm and listened for a moment. Now voices came closer, running up and down the rocks. The echoes mangled the words, but Kratos had little doubt that a patrol was approaching them. And there was only one explanation for an armed unit to be so near a village: Desians. He drew his sword and moved in front of Anna.

She glanced back at him, her eyes wide. "Should we go back?" she asked quietly.

Kratos shook his head. "On the plain we would be clearly visible. And if we retreat across the flatland, we will be surrounded. We can meet them here." His eyes scanned the path. It wound its way around a bend in the rocks, which would hide them from the oncoming patrol for a little. But the sun was slanting directly down the ravine into his eyes. If he remained where he was, he would be at a disadvantage. Kratos cursed himself for telling Noishe to leave them before they had gone to Hima; the protozoan would have been a valuable ally now.

A cold wind howled as it blasted down the ravine, and by some chance the bright light of the sun was shrouded by a grey cloud. The sounds of marching feet were much closer now. Kratos turned to Anna. "I do not know how many there are, but until it is over, you have to stay out of this. Go back to the plain, stay out of sight until this is done."

"And leave you here by yourself?" she demanded.

"Yes. I don't recall if you have seen me fight at full strength yet, but I will be fine."

She looked unconvinced. Kratos swiftly bent and kissed her forehead. "Love, I will be fine," he whispered. Whenever he called her that, it sounded strange and unnatural to his ears, but Anna smiled faintly.

"Fine," she muttered. "I wouldn't be much use anyway, but don't expect me to be happy about sitting on the side like this."

"Since you are the reason for me to fight, that's use enough; now hurry, go!"

The footsteps were much closer now. Anna whirled and darted back towards the entrance of the ravine, just as the head column of the patrol came around the bend. Kratos sprang forward before the Desians could react. He decapitated one of the front line soldiers, and ducked under a spear thrust from one of the ranks. He straightened up and swung his sword across the necks of three unlucky half-elves. Even as they fell, he spun to his right just in time to impale one that had tried to circle behind him.

"Fall back!" one of the Desians ordered. He did not look like a captain, but he spoke with authority, and the others retreated several hundred yards. But they did not flee. The soldier who had spoken stood a little distant from his fellows, who seemed to wait anxiously on his word. Without a word, the Desian lowered his sword, keeping his gaze fixed on Kratos.

For a few seconds there was silence. Then a voice from the ranks cried out, sounding astonished, "That's the Angelus Project!"

The apparent leader glanced past Kratos, who silently cursed Anna. Why had she not left? He risked one glance behind him and saw her standing some distance away, watching with clenched hands. He glared at her, to no effect. Her eyes met his steadily.

He turned back to face the Desians. For a long time Kratos watched the one who stood apart, sensing that the half-elf watching with equal intensity. At last that leader said grimly, "Lord Kratos, if you have the Angelus Project in hand, we will not interfere. But if you do, why fight us? Why not take it to its rightful place?"

"Because I am not giving her up," Kratos answered. He attacked again, this time without restraint. As he cut the leader down, he saw two Desians attempt to run past him. He clove the helmet of one, but before he could chase down the other, the remaining two leapt towards him, spears in hand. Cursing between his teeth, Kratos dropped to his knees so the spears passed over his head and sliced the leg of one of the soldiers, who fell screaming to the ground. He ignored him and slew the other. Jumping to his feet, he raced back towards Anna.

She had armed herself with a dagger from one of the bodies of the slain, and was retreating as the half-elf advanced on her. Kratos redoubled his speed as the Desian suddenly sprang towards her. Anna leapt to the side, and the spear thrust aimed for her heart grazed her right side. The half-elf seized her shoulder, but had no time do anything more before Kratos thrust his sword into the attacker's back.

He threw the dead Desian aside and walked back to where the last wounded soldier was groaning on the path. Dispassionately he ended the half-elf's life, and then went quickly back to Anna. She had collapsed to her knees, a bloodstain slowly spreading on her tunic. The spear had torn a ragged gash in her right side, exposing some of the ribs. She winced as he drew back the torn cloth. "Why didn't you go?" Kratos asked.

Anna rolled her eyes at the unspoken reproach in his voice. "Just heal it, please," she gasped through clenched teeth. "Honestly, that's the first thing you can think of to say when I get stabbed by a spear?"

Kratos healed the wound and met her gaze. "No," he answered quietly. "But if I wish to avoid that happening again, I need you to understand the basic idea that someone without a weapon should not be in a battle."

She laughed. "I guess I deserved that."

The smile fell from her face as she looked at the bloodied bodies lying in the path before them. Her face grew slightly paler, but she said nothing. Kratos looked at the sun, which was sinking rapidly behind one of the ridges. "Anna, we should move."

She nodded once and swallowed. He glanced at her and saw how pale she was. "Anna," he said gently. "Anna, we have to go on. They will have had a base that is expecting them to report back. We need to get as far away from this area as we can."

Again she nodded, but she kept her eyes averted from him. Kratos took her hand and led her past the dead bodies carefully. She was silent as they walked for what was perhaps six miles. Darkness fell. As the moon rose, they came out of the ravine to a crossroads where the road split into three: north, south, and west. Kratos chose the northward path, for the simple reason that the less inhabited area would be harder for Desians to thoroughly search.

Anna had not spoken since the battle in the ravine. Once or twice Kratos glanced at her, but only saw the flash of her large eyes in the moonlight. Her demeanor was thoughtful, and somewhat sad. He wondered if she was horrified by what she had seen in the battle, for now that he thought, she had only seen him fight with his full powers once, and that only after she had seen a child transformed by an exsphere. He could not blame her for her silence. But even as he thought this, she looked up at him. "Are you all right?" he asked after a pause.

"I think so," she answered slowly. "It's just- that was frightening. I don't know how else to say it. I've never seen you fight so- without restraint."

"I've had more than my share of time to become accustomed to it. And for us, it won't be avoidable. Our safety is going to have that price."

She drew closer so she could lean on his arm. "Are we much safer for that, though?"

Kratos looked down at her, baffled. "What do you mean? They are no longer a threat."

"I know. But we didn't even wait to see what they would do, we just attacked. I know," Anna added, glancing at his face, "I know that they probably would have tried to take us just the same. But we didn't even wait."

"Why should we give them the chance to gain an advantage? Anna, I am not going to let them take you back."

She smiled rather sadly. "I know. But I don't want you to just get to the point where you kill without thinking. If that's to be the price of protecting me, I'm not letting you pay it."

Kratos blinked. "Anna, it is not wrong for me to defend you."

"I never said that it was," she replied, frustration creeping into her voice. "I- I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I know that when I saw you cutting down those Desians- it didn't even bother you that you were ending their lives. That's what frightened me. I'm not saying that I don't want you to fight, I know that you need to- but Kratos, I don't ever want to see you cutting them down like it's nothing. Because it's not. Even if it's necessary, killing someone is- if things were perfect, it shouldn't have to happen."

"Anna, you know as well as I do that things are far from perfect."

She laughed and touched her chest, just where her exsphere lay. "I'm walking proof of it. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to make it so." She was silent for a moment, and then whispered, "Believe me, I know it's hard. But if we actually want to do anything, we need to try."

Kratos stared at her in amazement. "Anna, how on earth are you able to think that way?"

She snorted. "That's just seeing things as they are."

He smiled. "Then how did you come by such sight?"

She drew his head to hers. In no more than a breath, she whispered, "An angel helps me." Her lips, warm and soft, brushed his for an instant. Kratos was about to respond when he heard footsteps coming from behind them on the path. He straightened and laid a hand on his sword.

Anna looked from him to the sound. "What now?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know. I think it's just one person."

Even as he spoke, a figure came into view. Kratos stared at the caped man, unsure whether to believe his eyes. "Yuan?" he asked, keeping his hand on his sword.

"Who else would chase you down in the middle of nowhere?" was the answer. The blue-haired half-elf walked up towards them. His eyes flickered in Anna's direction. Something in the coldness of his glance made Kratos uneasy. He kept his right hand on his sword and stepped a little in front of Anna.

Yuan noted the movement with a bitter smirk. "So you're still with her," he said to Kratos.

"Obviously," Anna interjected coolly.

Yuan pointedly looked away from her. "You have no idea how hard it's been to keep Mithos from going into one of his rages and coming down here to wipe you out. I finally came up with a reason that'll keep you out of trouble, and that's what I came here to tell you." He raised an eyebrow and glanced at Anna, then back at Kratos. "But the fact that you are with the Angelus Project will complicate things."

Kratos felt anger begin to stir within him. "She has a name," he said quietly. "She has a name, and it is Anna Aurion."

Yuan's mouth fell open. He looked from Anna to Kratos in amazement, tried to speak, and stopped. At last he found his voice. "You married her?"

Kratos nodded once, and felt Anna stir beside him. "Why are you surprised?" she asked calmly.

When Yuan spoke, his voice was cold, "Both of you must be mad. Kratos, you walk out on Mithos, defy him to his face, and then marry his escaped experiment? Have you completely lost your reason?"

"I am not an experiment," Anna spat. "And if you find that so insane, why did you say what you did? And why are you here?"

"I'm here to give Kratos the chance to do something more useful than running around the country. Which is why I told Yggdrasill that Kratos had descended to hunt down the escaped Angelus Project."

Anna stiffened, and Kratos glared at Yuan. "You told him what?" he asked coldly.

"It was plausible, since she happened to escape at the same time that you decided to take off," the half-elf snapped. "It was good enough for Mithos to buy, anyway, but he wants that crystal for Martel, and it's only because he thinks you're looking for it that he hasn't come after you yet."

"Setting aside how Mithos could possibly believe that after I attacked him, I fail to see how this helps me, and it certainly does not help Anna."

"The Angelus Project is irrelevant to me, except in that I am not letting that crystal develop to trap Martel," Yuan retorted. "And as for Mithos, I can't account for him; all I can tell you is that he did believe it. I can give you a chance to truly strike a blow to Yggdrasill, but not if you have her in tow. If you want that, you need to get rid of her."

Before Kratos could say a word, Anna took a step forward. "Listen to me, _Yuan_," she said, her voice ringing and her brown eyes blazing. "I have some say in this too, and I will stay by my husband's side if I have to die for it."

Kratos took Anna's hand in his and felt her grip it tightly. He was tempted to strike Yuan for suggesting that he leave his wife, without whom he had no reason to defy the world. Instead he looked his former friend in the eyes and spoke with deliberation, "If I had asked you to sacrifice Martel to end the war, you would have put your sword in my heart. Unless you wish me to do the same to you, do not ask me to give up Anna."

Pain flashed in Yuan's eyes, and he looked away. For a long moment there was silence.

At last the half-elf spoke, and his voice was carefully toneless, "I will not ask it. But if you are serious about this, then the most you can hope for is to hide. You can't do anything about going after Mithos. Her presence alone prevents that."

He turned on his heel. "Wait," Kratos called sharply. "What was the point of this? Why did you come here at all?"

"It's not relevant anymore," Yuan answered without turning around. "But make use of the information I did give you. I cannot help, not if you stay with her. Enlisting you would have been difficult enough."

"You're leaving a lot unanswered," Anna observed. "What is it you wanted him for?"

Yuan gave her a very thin smile. "From your reaction earlier, you'd throttle me if I were to tell you. And since he won't come, there's no point in saying it."

"What happened to you?" Anna asked after a short pause. "Why this coldness now?"

"Why this coldness? Because between the two of you, you are abandoning the world so you can have each other," Yuan snapped, his gaze hardening as he met Anna's eyes.

She glared back. "Perhaps if you were not so cryptic in your offers, we could do more."

"I doubt it," Yuan laughed bitterly. "Well, go on your way, and don't expect much more from me."

He turned to go, but stopped when Kratos asked, "What did Mithos want from you? What did he tell you to do?"

"What does he want? He wants your cooperation, you fool. His reason's dwindled even more since you took off. At least before you left he had some semblance of sanity. Now there isn't much. At times he can be reasoned with, but they're few and far between. And I'm tired of taking the brunt of his rages. You could have done something, but since you won't, I'll leave you to fend for yourselves. I don't have much of a choice."

"If you betray us, I swear I will kill both you and Mithos," Kratos said evenly.

"I believe it," Yuan answered. His eyes softened faintly. "And I stand by what I said before; I won't turn you in. But I can't say more than that. I have business to take care of. If you won't come with me, that's the end of it." He walked away in the direction of the crossroads, and disappeared around a bend in the road. The wind began to blow, obscuring the sound of his footsteps, which soon stopped abruptly. Kratos guessed he had taken flight.

After a while, Anna stirred. "That was strange," she whispered, sounding shaken.

Kratos could sense her trembling, and lost track of his thoughts as he ran his hands through her hair and caressed her face. She shivered and wrapped his arms around her shoulders to make him pull her closer. Her voice was muffled as she asked, "Why would he act this way? He seemed to despise us both this time."

"Bitterness, perhaps. He has to deal with the consequences of my departure. Also- I don't know if I told you this, but he was engaged to Martel. And since Mithos is suspending her existence- and you were to be the means of releasing her- he's faced with the choice of prolonging her suffering, or having the chance to see her again. That would be suffering that I can understand now." He pressed his lips to Anna's hair and slid his hands down to her lower back. "But I don't know what he meant when he said that I could have a chance to destroy Mithos."

Anna stirred against him, slipping her arms around his waist and driving her cold hands up under his cloak. Kratos jumped a little at the touch of her chilled flesh on his shoulders, but smiled as she laughed. "Don't worry about it too much," she said. "We'll find something. I just wish we didn't have to deal with the fact that Mithos thinks you're hunting for me now."

He looked out over the sky. "Yes."

Anna shook her head and smiled. "We still need to work on your responses to simple statements."

"What am I supposed to say to that? How is that a simple statement to answer, that a powerful lunatic is expecting me to be hunting down my wife?"

"Well you could come up with something stronger than 'yes.' "

"Such as what? 'I will send that madman to burn in hell'?"

Anna laughed so hard that the rocks seemed to echo. "Maybe. It's certainly more memorable, I'll say that for it."

They resumed the walk northwards. "What were you expecting me to say, out of curiosity?" Kratos asked after a moment.

"Hm- well, not a simple yes, anyway," Anna said, still laughing. "But I don't mind that, because with you, you always do more than you say. So I'll live with the yes."

They walked perhaps four more hours before Anna began to stumble with weariness. Kratos began to look for a place to rest, but on the west side of the path was a tangled grove of trees, and on the left, a barren plain of rocks and weeds. For almost two miles, there was nothing. But then a gap in the trees caught his eye. He glanced into the wood, and saw a small building nestled far back in the trees. Judging from the broken door and darkened windows, it was deserted.

"Anna, stay here," Kratos said absently. She blinked, and he realized that she was almost asleep on her feet. As he walked down the path, she roused herself enough to call his name. But by that time he had made it to the door.

As he had expected, the hut was empty. He went back to Anna and guided her through the trees to the door of the hut. She rubbed her eyes, and muttered, "How did you even see this?" as he led her into the dilapidated structure.

"We can rest here for a little while," he answered. "Just go to sleep."

He sat down by the door, laying his sword by his side. Anna collapsed beside him, and dropped her head on his shoulder. Before he had time to move, she was asleep.

The afternoon sun was shining in the sky when she finally stirred and sat up, shivering from the cold. Kratos took her chilled hands and rubbed them between his own. "We should move on, Anna."

"Why?" she asked. The question surprised him so much that he could only stare at her. She grinned and stood up, glancing around the interior of the broken building. Dust covered the floor and cobwebs hung in every corner. There were only two rooms in the place. Kratos looked up at her, wondering what had come over her. She smiled and grabbed his hands, trying to pull him to his feet.

Reluctantly he rose. "Anna, be serious. We have to go."

"I was serious, Kratos," she answered. Her voice was teasing, but her eyes were solemn. "We should hide, shouldn't we? And if so, why not here? Not many people come by here, I guess. We could fix this up; we could stay for a little."

Kratos looked around with distaste. To him the building looked beyond repair. "Why here, though?" he asked. "Surely we could find some other place."

"I'm tired," Anna said simply. "I'm tired, and I just want to stay somewhere for more than a day. It doesn't need to be long. Just a few days, even." She laughed. "And that way, all we'd have to do would be just clean up a little."

Still unconvinced, he looked around. They had covered a good deal of distance the previous night, but he still wished to move. Yet Anna had endured so much running already, and it was beginning to wear on her. She was still thin, and though her eyes almost always smiled, there were shadows under them that had not been visible by night. All she wanted was to rest. Surely she had earned that.

"A few days, then," he finally said.

Anna smiled and kissed him with more energy than he could have expected from someone who had spent the entire night walking. Just as he began to lose himself in the pleasure of her touch, she sprang back lightly. "We should start then," she said, laughing. "Let's at least get some of these planks out of here. Come on, you can help me."


	27. Travelling Slowly

**I was going to post this tomorrow, but I obviously changed my mind. Ok, on this Valentine's, I'm going to say that I love everyone who's reading (especially the brave souls who read the entire thing over the course of a day), and my reviewers! And speaking of my reviewers...**

**I think we need to talk about Yuan. First off, andy called it- he was going to ask Kratos to release Origin's seal. And to CommodoreZelda13 and Snowstar of RiverClan- look at what Yuan says. He's not evil, but he is sick of dealing with Mithos's reaction to Kratos leaving, and I think he has a certain bitterness for Kratos and Anna. But he's not so horrible that he won't help- it's just getting harder. I hope that clears him up a little. **

**I own nothing...still. **

"Anna, we'll need to leave soon."

"You think so?" she asked quietly.

They were lying side by side in one corner of the cottage, watching the dark interior slowly lighten in the early morning. The little house, though more habitable than it had been when they had entered it two weeks ago, was still drafty. Anna shifted so that she was closer to Kratos. She sighed softly as he rose on one elbow to smooth her hair back from her face, and felt her breath catch as his lips met hers. Just for a moment she closed her eyes and imagined that she could remain in his arms forever with his kiss to warm her. Yet it had to end.

"You really meant soon, then," she observed as he rose. Her thin tunic was no match for the cold air that filled the room, and without Kratos the blankets under which she was huddled were barely adequate. She curled up and shut her eyes, feeling a slow exhaustion steal over her.

She only realized she had been sleeping when she woke. Kratos was standing by one of the windows, through which bright cold light was streaming. A map was in his hand, and a fire crackled in the fireplace. The room felt much warmer than it had before, but Anna still felt cold. She spared a moment to wonder how Kratos could wear a sleeveless shirt with ease while she found herself shivering even in a long-sleeved garment. His cape was lying in a heap beside the blankets, and she threw it over her shoulders. He glanced at her and she saw him smile before he focused his attention on the map again.

Anna walked up to him, suppressing a yawn. "Where are we planning on heading next?" she asked.

"I think we should head for the coast, and travel south. If we take long enough on the way, hopefully most of the patrols looking for you will have moved out of the area."

"Of course they're looking for me," Anna snapped. A sudden hot anger flooded through her, and she turned to the fire, rubbing her arms. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why the mention of this simple fact so irritated her. She bent her head and stared into the flames, clenching her teeth. It was always going to be this way, always she would be the one dragging them down, always it would be her fault that they could never stay in safety.

She was startled when Kratos asked, "Anna, what's wrong?" His tone was so gentle, compared to what her own had been, that she shut her eyes. Strangely enough, her irritation did not die away, but she no longer felt animosity towards him. The annoyance was almost a physical sensation, a feeling of bother that simply would not go away.

With a sigh, she turned to face him. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I just- I don't want to go, is really all it is. I know that we have to." Her jaw trembled as she fought down a lump in her throat. She felt as though her emotions had suddenly taken custody of her reason, making her do and say things that were strange and unnatural.

Kratos was watching her carefully, as though evaluating how to best answer that statement. She met his eyes. "I'm all right," she said firmly. "I don't know what's the matter with me today."

He gave her a quick glance. "Are you sick, perhaps?"

Anna shrugged. "I've felt better- I'm tired – but I'm not sick. I'll be all right."

Her husband smiled very faintly. "I made you some breakfast, if you want it. It's by the fire there."

Anna smiled as she saw a small plate with some bacon and eggs on the left side of the fire. "Kratos, have I told you that I love you?"

"Not today."

She laughed. "Well, I do."

She ate slowly, trying to understand why she felt as though there was something missing. It was not so much that anything was lacking in the food as much as she felt as though she would give anything to have something go with the meal. Then it hit what she wanted, so suddenly and so surprisingly that she burst out laughing. Kratos glanced at her and she smiled. "I was just thinking," she said lightly, "oranges would go well with this."

He stared at her, which made her laugh even harder. "Don't look at me that way!" she exclaimed. "I'm not saying anything's wrong. Just- that came to me, is all. Don't worry about it. It was just a thought I had."

"Anna, are you sure you're all right?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"You've been acting odd."

Anna almost choked on a bite of the egg as a burst of laughter seized her. She coughed, swallowed, and asked, "In what way?"

He hesitated, and then said slowly, "Lately you go from elation to anger very quickly."

Anna grinned. "But why do you assume something's wrong?"

He shrugged. "It is not like you."

"What am I supposed to say to that?" Anna exclaimed, laughing.

Kratos smiled. "Unless you have an explanation- I don't know."

"Sadly, I don't have one," Anna said with mock regret. She finished the food and went into the much colder room at the back of the house to use the ancient water pump there. As she rinsed the plate, she called back to Kratos, "Are we planning on leaving right away? We don't exactly have much, you know. We need to stop by Hima, and get some supplies. And do we even know where we're going?"

"I think we need to go back to Palmacosta to see what we can find out from the cathedral and the academy there. If we wish to do anything, we need to have some clearer information."

Anna came back to the warmer room and set the plate down on the hearth. Still crouching, she stared into the fire. "But if we go to Palmacosta now, that might be risky, since I was recognized there. I know it was a while ago, but it might not be the best idea."

"If we travel to the coast, and go south, taking the journey slowly, it should take us some months to come to the city. And Anna, you should probably not go into the city at all."

She sighed, and had to tell herself not to snap at Kratos again. Annoyed with herself, she wondered if perhaps something was the matter with her. Certainly her emotions were disordered. Wearily, she stood upright. Why was she so tired now? It was as though her body had been suddenly weighted or her bones made denser.

Anna did not notice Kratos was behind her until his arms were around her. Turning around, she kissed him gently, but not briefly. Kratos shifted his hands to hold her more comfortably, but when they drew apart, he suddenly took his cape off her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Anna gasped as the cold struck her. But she could not help but grin at the faint smirk on his face.

"If we are going to go Hima to get supplies, I am going to need to wear this."

"Really?" Anna shot back, laughing. "You don't want to walk there in the middle of winter without it? I'm shocked, Kratos."

He smiled. "Do you want to come?"

Anna shoved him lightly, but he caught her hands and held them to his chest. She smiled. "Yes, of course I want to come," she answered. "Give me a minute to get ready."

They left early the next morning and headed south, making their way to the coast. Kratos kept his promise about keeping their travels slow; their pace was leisurely. By day they walked slowly and steadily, and rested side by side at night. They took almost a month cutting south to the coast, and then the journey towards Palmacosta was drawn out as much as possible. And this time it was not solely due to Kratos; the walking wore on Anna in ways she had never thought possible. Her body felt slow and unwieldy at times, and she grew exhausted easily. Her strange desire for fruit, and occasionally sweeter things, did not go away, and at times it felt as though she were being assaulted by her hunger. Yet there was little to be done; the small villages through which they passed had little to offer to travelers. Three months after they had left the house near Hima, they finally reached the southernmost part of the continent.

They encountered more and more travelers the nearer they drew to Palmacosta. On this cold afternoon, however, the only others on the road were some four or five men walking towards them. They were poorly dressed, and one was staggering and laughing loudly. They came closer, growing all the more boisterous. She was glad to feel Kratos place a hand on the back of her shoulder. Somehow he had come up to her left so that he was walking between her and the men, which made her smile. As she and Kratos passed the group, the man who had been laughing glanced at her with leering eyes. Anna clenched her hands and averted her gaze. She had seen looks like that in the ranch, and though she was not worried, she still felt angry.

The men shoved by them without overt comment, and Anna felt Kratos's hand on her shoulder relax a little. Then he stopped as the group of men gave a collective laugh that reached even Anna's ears. She was glad she had not heard what had caused the laughter. But clearly her husband had. He took two steps toward them, and Anna grabbed his arm. "What are you going to do?" she demanded.

"Anna, let go."

"What are you going to do?" she repeated. "They're just idiots. I didn't hear what they said, and I don't care much. The last thing we need is a fight right now."

He glared down at her. "You did not hear what they said. I did."

"Obviously I didn't hear what they said. I can guess that it was some kind of insult, and I don't want to know what it was. I don't care."

"I do." He shook his arm free, and Anna ran to stand in front of him. She glanced quickly over her shoulder in time to see the men disappear behind a lip of sandy bank that jutted out onto the road.

Relieved, she looked back at Kratos, who looked murderous. She shook her head. "Stop," she said firmly. "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter that I have to let them insult you without standing for you?"

"Now you sound ridiculous," Anna shot back. "If you had done whatever you intended, do you really think we could have avoided suspicion? If that's your version of standing for me, I think I'm safer without it."

A hurt look flashed in his eyes for one instant, but he said nothing and resumed walking. His demeanor was so aloof that Anna could tell her words had struck home. She followed him without a word, torn between being touched by his concern and furious with his stubbornness. A cold wind blew in from the grey ocean, and the sun vanished behind a bank of dark clouds. Eventually the path turned inland, and wound its way through low hills that were covered with long grass. They were still a good six hours away from Palmacosta, and Anna felt far too exhausted to go on. Shortly she asked if they could stop, and without a word, Kratos led her to a small hollow hidden behind some bushes on the side of the road. The soil was sandy, and the hollow itself resembled a scoop in the side of a hill that sloped down to the ocean. It was lined with large stones, and provided a view of the sea, which lay to their right as they faced south.

Kratos began to build a fire in silence. Anna sat down with her back to one of the rocks and looked out over the restless water. The whitecaps on the waves glistened. Steadily the rhythm of the water drove away her anger. She drew some food out of one of the packs and ate silently. For a moment Kratos remained crouching by the fire. Then he stiffly walked across and sat down beside her, glowering at the ocean. A faint smile crossed Anna's lips at the look on his face, and she turned away so she could smile more fully.

Kratos stirred beside her, and she quickly glanced at him. He looked away immediately, and Anna smiled again. She could be patient. The tension between them was beginning to die down on its own, but it might be best to wait a little longer before she made an overture to him. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes and leaned back against the smooth rock, concentrating on the crashing waves and the faint taste of salt on the breeze.

That was when she felt the movement.

Anna froze. For a moment, her mind felt as though it had stopped working. Never in her life had she felt anything like that gentle flutter. It was gone so quickly that she barely had time to register the turning over within her. The movement was a part of her, and yet something else. She knew the feelings of hunger and sickness, and this was nothing like either of them. It felt independent, but at the same time it was a part of herself, it was within her. She felt as though her head was spinning, and her breath caught in her throat. Was it possible that she was- she could barely wrap her mind around that thought. It was possible. It was more than possible, she reflected, as she thought back over the past months. It was quite likely. Lately she had been so tired, and her body had been changing over the course of their journey. But surely there was some other possibility- her body reacting to freedom, or to the constant running, or even perhaps the winter.

Again came the faint flutter.

She gasped this time, and felt Kratos turn to face her. She glanced at him, and immediately looked away. The sight of him threw her into even more confusion, and she felt lost enough as it was. Somehow, some way, their love had come to something far greater than she had ever imagined or expected. Anna had to struggle to articulate the thought in her mind. Yet somehow she forced herself to do so.

She was carrying their child.

Anna gasped again and sprang to her feet, covering her face with her hands. Dimly, as though from a distance she heard Kratos ask her what the matter was. She tried to form words, but could barely breathe. She could not decide whether to laugh or cry. Her soul was drowned in the strangest sensation she had ever felt- a comingling of high joy, utter shock, and paralyzing nervousness. It was so incomprehensible. They could barely live themselves, yet somehow they had given life to another.

"Anna. _Anna_." Kratos laid a hand on her shoulder, and she realized that her breathing was rapid and shallow. She met his red-brown eyes. He was watching her intently, with more than a hint of nervousness. "Anna," he repeated. "Anna, what's wrong? What happened?"

Anna drew a deep breath and tried to regain control of herself. Kratos clasped her hands in his, and she realized that her whole body was trembling. How on earth was she going to tell him this? If she reacted this way when she acknowledged it to herself- how was she going to be able to tell him? She could barely keep a grip on herself, and she had no idea how he was going to take this news. Yet she was not going to be able to conceal it for much longer. How was she going to tell him? Her mind raced around in circles, around the thought that she had helped- and was helping- to bring about a new life. That was something that she had never contemplated, not even in her wildest daydreams.

She drew a shuddering breath, and found herself smiling uncontrollably. Now that she knew the truth, she could scarcely keep from laughing at how long it had taken her to understand. How could she have missed the signs of the past few months? Now that she was certain of the explanation, she could only marvel at how she could have been so dense.

"Anna," Kratos said sharply, calling her out of her daze. "Anna, tell me what's going on. What is it?"

"I don't know how to explain it," she stammered, feeling as though each word was being jerked out of her. "I just don't know."

"Is it because of our words earlier?" He hesitated, and then continued, "I'm sorry about my reaction- I should not have become as angry with you as I did."

Anna stared at him for a moment before laughing raggedly. He was so far off the mark that she could not help herself. "No, no- it has nothing to do with that. And I'm sorry too- I said some idiotic things to you."

He smiled faintly. "You were angry, and you had reason." Carefully he slid his hands up her arms until he was holding her shoulders. "And I'm sorry for not listening to you." Again a faint smile twisted his lips, and he said softly, "At least such conflict has not happened often- with just the two of us, it makes it easier to be resentful."

In those words, Anna saw her chance. She took a deep breath. A smile began to spread on her face again, and she felt such a wave of emotion that she almost wanted to run, laugh, or sing. She looked at the ground, and then back up at him. Quickly she spoke, before she lost all courage, "You mean the three of us."

He blinked. "Are you talking about Noishe? He's not with us now."

At that Anna could not restrain a burst of genuine laughter that rang against the rocks. "No," she gasped. "No, I am not. I said the 'three of us.'" She emphasized the last word.

Kratos stared at her, looking more lost than ever. Anna smiled and shook her head. She let her right hand fall to her lower stomach. "The three of us, Kratos," she said gently.

He stared at her for perhaps another second. Then his eyes widened in the purest shock she had ever seen on his face. His mouth was slightly open, and his entire face was rigid. He was so still that the wind made him resemble a clothed statue, a statue with astonished eyes.

At last he found his voice. "Do you mean- you are pregnant?"

"Yes," Anna whispered, not trusting herself to say more.

Kratos stared at the ground, and to Anna's astonishment, drew a deep breath as though trying to calm himself. "You are-" His voice died, and he cleared his throat carefully before looking at her again. "You are certain?"

"I just felt the baby move," Anna answered, feeling herself tremble all over at the memory. "I'm certain."

He turned away from her with a quick involuntary motion of his hand, as though he wanted drive a hand through his hair and then thought better of it. With a quick motion he turned back to her. He opened and closed his mouth, then asked in a strained voice, "So what now?"

Anna found herself laughing so hard that she could barely stand upright. "Well- I assume we wait until the child's born." She glanced at Kratos and could not restrain a grin. He looked as though he had had the ground cut out from under him. "What's the matter with you?" she asked. "How much of a shock can this really be?"

"Anna I did not even think that this was possible for me!" he exclaimed.

"Why not?" she asked impishly, and saw his face flush in the moonlight. She sighed, and put her hands on his shoulders to kiss him quickly. "Well, now we know it is possible. Are you worried?"

Kratos looked away, and Anna realized that his hands, which were holding her around the waist, were shaking. She laughed and embraced him as tightly as she could and felt him wrap his arms around her, keeping her tightly against him. His heart pounded against her chest as a further testament to the shock the news had been to him. She smiled into his shoulder as she realized that she was going to have to reassure him that they could face this. Accordingly she whispered, "Don't worry about it, Kratos. We'll be all right. It's not like this is a threat."

He pulled back a little to look into her face. "Anna, how can we possibly raise a child, with the Desians after you, and Cruxis after me? What kind of life would that be?"

Anna shrugged. "We've been all right thus far. And don't we have a little time with you, because of what Yuan told Mithos?"

Kratos laughed bitterly. "Yes, and it's been three months at least since we saw Yuan. Mithos would be a fool to not start to become suspicious by now, and I have no idea how much time we have before we are going to have to do something more meaningful than just running. How can we bring a child into that kind of life? And what will the baby do other than make things harder?"

Anna shoved him so hard that he staggered. Without hesitation she raised her hand to slap him, but he caught her wrist before the blow could land. "How can you be such an idiot?" she shouted. "What's the matter with you? This is our child we're talking about, do you not see that? Of course it's going to be harder, it would be harder even if we were normal, even if we didn't have all this trouble! But that doesn't mean it's wrong!"

Kratos slowly let her hand fall, and he suddenly pulled her closer. Anna tried to draw back until he whispered in her ear, "Anna, I'm sorry. But I am afraid- afraid for you, and what this will do to you, afraid for what kind of life the child will have. Do you think that I can keep you and our child safe from everything that surrounds us? I've nearly failed with you many times. Do you really think I can do my duty as your husband and- and as a father?"

Anna felt her eyes fill with tears. "Of course, I do, you idiot," she whispered, relaxing a little and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm certain you can do it. Don't doubt yourself- you've come so far already." She brushed his hair out of his eyes, and held her hand to his cheek. "I'd trust you with my life, and I trust you with our child. And you seem to be forgetting- you're not alone in this. I'm here too. Between the two of us we can figure this out."

The wind blew smoke from the fire around them, and Kratos drew her carefully away to the other side so they were looking out on the ocean. Anna sat down and Kratos sat behind her so she could lean against him. After a moment, he said quietly, "So we are going to be parents."

"Yes we are," Anna answered with a smile. "We should probably see a doctor or something when we're in Palmacosta."

Kratos stirred, and she felt him sigh softly. Anna turned her head so she could see his face, and he looked at the ground. After a moment, he said, "I need to find some way to make sure that Mithos will not come after us."

A small thread of worry crept into Anna's thoughts. "How?" she asked warily. "How can you do that?"

"I'll think of something." His voice was quiet, but he spoke with conviction. Anna smiled, and lay back against his shoulder, shifting so her head could rest under his chin.

"Don't worry too much about it," she said after a moment. "Think all you want. But don't worry. We'll be fine, Kratos." She felt his hand slide around her waist to her lower stomach, and quickly she pressed his hand. "All three of us will be fine."


	28. Words and Names

**If people feel this chapter is filler-y, it is. I'm annoyed about it, but I originally had more action and a cliffhanger planned, and I didn't want to do that when I have no idea when the next chapter will be up. I've been mauled by school, so it's safe to say it won't be for at least two weeks. I'm really sorry- but please forgive me and read (some amazing people have been reading the whole thing over a day, and I love them for it). Reviews are nice too- they keep me motivated! As do those favorites and story alerts- love seeing those. Thank you, everyone.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Believe it or not, I do have a map- I'm just terrible at describing directions. If anyone else was confused by my complete lack of skill, I'm sorry, I really am. Just don't be too mad at me... I swear I'm trying. **

**andy: Thinking about the way this ends really depresses me- but yeah, just enjoy Lloyd when he comes, because I plan on having fun with that. I'm glad you thought the reactions were in character; they were hard to get right.**

**CommodoreZelda13**** and Snowstar of Riverclan: Yes, she's pregnant- finally- heaven knows it took me long enough. And everyone was supposed to get it except for Kratos and Anna... and to CommodoreZelda, who here is not looking forward to seeing Kratos being a father? I can't wait to get to that point! **

**Own nothing still- ooh wait, I do own an article that got published in my university's online magazine! XD But sadly that has no relevance to the rights to ToS...**

Kratos walked through the streets of Palmacosta steadily. The moon had risen high above the ocean, and the streets were deserted. As he reached the outer limits of the city, the houses became smaller. His shift that night had been wearisome; a job as a guard outside one of the banks of the city had little to interest someone who had seen more lifetimes than forty men. Nothing had occurred during his six-hour shift, which had begun three hours before midnight.

Eventually the buildings ended altogether. He made his way through the rolling hills to the east of the city. The house he was seeking was difficult to find; a large hill hid it from the road, and the hill itself was surrounded by two others. The position of the house was such that it received no sunlight save an hour before noon. It remained in shadow at all other times of day. They had taken this dwelling place when a doctor in Palmacosta had bluntly told them that Anna would lose the child if they did not stop travelling. The man had told them of a house that had been built in the hills on the whim of a rich man who had died some years ago. His family had been unable to sell it because of the bizarre location, a long walk from the city and hidden in the hills. The family had been eager enough to get rid of the building, and Kratos had reluctantly taken up the offer. Certainly the house had been so cheap that it had practically been given away. But he was still unhappy with the arrangement.

After an hour's walk, he came to two hills set close together on the left of the road, looming into the deep sky. He turned from the road and came around the base of the hill nearest to the road. Noishe, who had joined them soon after they came to the city, was lying in front of the house. He raised his head when he saw Kratos coming. The tall swordsman inclined his head as he passed. With his hand on the knob of the front door, he hesitated. After a moment he sat down on the middle step, stretching his legs and leaning back on his elbows. "Do you think this is a bad idea?" he asked. The protozoan seemed to raise an eyebrow before turning to look out at the hill that loomed only a few hundred yards away from them.

Kratos sighed. "You know what I mean. Staying here. Taking a house. I know Anna does not go into the city much, but each time she does, it worries me. And every time I leave here to work, it worries me. There is so much that can go wrong, now that we are no longer moving."

Noishe whined a little, and closed his eyes. His companion glanced at him. "What are you implying? A great deal can go wrong, and you know it. We've been here three months now, and that worries me. If Mithos finds our location, I do not know if I can keep her safe. And it worries me that there has been no sign of him- though with a deranged eternal boy, I suppose I should not be surprised if he acts illogically." The protozoan gave a growl that might have been a chuckle.

A faint smile crossed Kratos's lips. But he rose and went into the house. Talking with Noishe could no longer ease his mind as it once had. There was only one person who could do that now. Yet he felt spineless confessing his fears to her. What kind of strength could he give her if he was telling her his doubts?

Kratos walked up the stairs and slipped into the small bedroom without a sound. Anna's deep breathing indicated she was asleep. She could only sleep comfortably on her back now, but she looked completely untroubled. He hesitated a moment before slipping off his shoes and easing onto the bed beside her. More and more frequently he found that he could sleep when he was with her. Yet tonight his thoughts weighed far too heavily on him, and he lay for what felt like hours with his eyes closed.

At last Kratos swung his legs over the edge of the bed, but froze when Anna stirred beside him. She sighed heavily and turned to him. "You all right?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

"Fine. You should sleep, Anna."

In response she sat up with a toss of her head. "I'm up now," she said with a grin. Her eyes met his, and her smile softened a little. With one hand she reached out and brushed his hair back. "What's the matter?" she asked.

There was something in her tone that made Kratos clench his teeth. She would dismiss his worries if he told them to her, say that he should not fear, or else would point out that nothing had happened so far. Such words now would simply irritate him, since he knew how easily their happiness could be shattered. The thought that he would not have had to deal with this if he had simply remained with Noishe passed into his mind.

"What's the matter?" she repeated.

"Nothing," Kratos answered sharply.

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Nothing? You look like you've eaten something sour. Why not just spit it out?"

"If I had anything to tell you, I would."

"The way you said that isn't very convincing," she shot back.

"Anna, it is not something I wish to discuss."

"Really? Not even with your wife?"

Kratos rose abruptly. "Your words cannot do anything now."

Anna's face hardened a little. "They've had pretty good success before."

"Because I was too willing to listen. If I were to tell you my fears, you would deny that we're even in danger, you say that we'll make it through, but you only base your observations on our luck so far. How is that supposed to comfort me when I know that the reality you forget is something quite different?"

"You think I forget reality?" Anna snapped. "Are you- do you really think that I deny that we're in danger?" She sounded angry now, and her eyes were flashing in the moonlight. With a quick motion she rose and came before him. The nightgown she wore had thin straps and a low cut that left the exsphere on her chest clearly visible. She raised one hand to the gem, keeping her eyes fixed on his face. "You think it's possible for me to forget when I have this on me?" she whispered. Her voice trembled. "Do you really think I can deny our danger when I have this souvenir of it? I can feel it sucking the life out of me, and it's hard enough to bear that and the child! You should think twice before saying that I forget our danger, especially since I'm here now! I'm with you when you're a major reason I'm in the danger I'm in!"

Kratos felt an urge to shout. Instead he said coldly, "As I recall, you said that that danger was something you enjoyed." He turned away and stalked down the stairs and out of the house. Noishe glanced at him sharply. Kratos ignored him and stormed up the hill that faced the house. He was angrier with Anna than he could ever recall being, though a part of him knew that that was because she was right. The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that he had conducted himself badly before her, but the thought of an apology rankled after what she had said to him. If his being with her bothered her so much, she should have distanced herself from him while she had the chance. He was doing his best for her, and if she could not see that, than she was far blinder than he had ever suspected. For some moments he remained on the hilltop, allowing his anger time to dissipate. Then he heard the sound of the front door opening down below.

For a moment, he debated whether he should go to her. But when Kratos went to the top of the hill and saw Anna seated with her back to the door, he felt a pang of guilt that shattered his pride altogether. As quietly as he could, he descended the hill. She watched him with somber eyes. He still did not wish to apologize, but the more he thought on his harsh words to her, the worse he felt. When he reached her, he could think of nothing to break the silence.

After a moment Anna met his eyes. "I'll never understand how you can walk around without that cape in this weather," she commented with a smile.

Kratos stepped over Noishe and sat beside her. "If you are cold, you should go inside."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I wonder why I didn't think of that. I'm not out here because of the weather, you know."

"I know," Kratos said softly. "You're out here because I left you the way I did."

Anna laughed more fully. "Don't flatter yourself. For all you know, I might have wanted to say hello to Noishe."

Kratos smiled a little and took her hand in his. He glanced at her face, which was hidden by the shadows of the hills, and swallowed his pride. "Anna, I'm sorry about what I said to you earlier."

Her hand tightened its grip on his. "I should apologize too," she whispered. "I was pretty harsh toward the end."

He shrugged. "Nevertheless it is true; I am a danger to you."

Anna looked at the ground. "That doesn't excuse what I said, or make it any less cruel." The wind whistled around the corner of the house, and she drew her shawl around her shoulders with a shiver.

Kratos looked at her with concern. "You should go in."

She smiled. "It's not bad out here," she said thoughtfully. "It's rather pretty, actually."

"Still, you cannot risk getting sick." He hesitated a moment before asking, "Has your exsphere been sapping your strength again?"

Anna shook her head. "If it was, I'd tell you." She let her words hang in the air a moment, and then looked at Kratos with a grin. "That would be your cue to tell me what's been troubling you."

He smiled a little, and shook his head. "Anna, it truly is nothing other than old doubts, old fears."

"You still won't tell me then?"

"You wish to hear them?"

"I don't know," Anna admitted with a sad smile. "If you'll just rehash something you've said before- I don't know- but if it's something you haven't told me, I do want to hear it. You don't have to go through this kind of worry by yourself. You do know that, don't you? It's- you're not alone anymore." She grinned suddenly and her eyes danced with amusement. "Unless that's what bothers you and you're afraid to admit that marriage is already wearing you down."

To answer that, Kratos gently turned her face to his and kissed her on the mouth. Anna wrapped her arms around him and relaxed as he pulled her closer. She drew a deep breath when their lips parted, and laughed. "I take it that that's not the problem then," she said lightly.

"No," Kratos said simply. "It is not." He stood and helped Anna to her feet. Together they went back into the house and to their room. Carefully she lowered herself to the mattress, tucking her legs beneath her. She made no move to lie down, and looked up at Kratos. He sat down on her right, and smoothed her hair back. The caress had become a habit for him now, and many times he would let his hand slide down to her shoulder. Somehow the simple gesture managed to ease them both, as it did now.

After a moment he spoke. "Anna… do you remember your time at the ranch?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she answered readily: "Not very clearly. It all seems like a nightmare. I wasn't particularly abused or singled out or even noticed. I was just a reserve- the way someone would keep a spare key in a cupboard. After awhile, I just lost track of everything around me and none of it really seemed to matter. Even though some part of my mind could register the things that were going on around me- the horror of it just stopped sinking in. I think if it hadn't I would have lost my mind." Her eyes were solemn now, and her voice was serious. "That's why your coming helped me as much as it did. I don't think I could be the person I am if you hadn't stayed with me, if you hadn't helped me."

"I think you had something before I met you," Kratos said almost to himself.

To his surprise, Anna lowered her head. "Do you mean Ian?" she asked quietly. Her voice shook as she continued, "I- I can barely remember him. He's like everything else about that place- just a shadow. It's like he was part of a dream, the image you remember just before you wake. Does that- I wish I could remember. But he's like the rest- just an image. Which is horrible, because before you came, he was my only friend. And I never did much to repay him- all I ever did was become exasperated with his hopelessness, even though I didn't do much to try to give him hope."

"Did you ever give up on him?" Kratos asked. Anna stared at him, and he went on, "Did you ever stop trying to help him? If you did not stop trying- and from what he said to me, I do not think you did- you did more for him than anyone can tell. And as for your forgetting him-" Kratos hesitated and looked at the floor before saying in a harsh voice, "I cannot remember my parents' faces, nor can I remember anyone from before I became an angel. I cannot even recall Martel, the woman whose death caused Mithos, Yuan, and I to transform. There is no shame in forgetting. It is only human."

Anna looked at him thoughtfully. "So why did you ask me about the ranch?"

Kratos lowered his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It really doesn't bother me." She was silent for a moment, then said quietly, "It's different for you, isn't it. You still think about your past."

Kratos nodded. "Yes." He looked at Anna's hand which covered his as it lay on her shoulder. After a moment, he went on, "That was what I was thinking about. Just how much has changed over so little time. I am not used to this."

"To what? We've been together almost a year," Anna said gently. "And we've been married for a while now. I know that to you it's not that much time, but at this point, it shouldn't seem so hard to believe."

"It is not hard to believe as much as it is hard to grasp, Anna. That's why I asked you about the ranch. When you said that you dulled yourself- I did more because I could not face what I was becoming. I made sure I cut off every human feeling. After a while, everything else began to fade. After so much time, everything becomes meaningless. What value is there in anything when it will eventually pass away? And I never found an answer, but there was something in me that could recognize Mithos's twisted plan for what it was when I found out. And I decided, almost on a whim, to do something about it."

Anna smiled. "You obviously didn't do a very good job cutting off your humanity, then. You still helped me, even though you didn't have to."

For a moment there was a heavy silence. Suddenly Anna spoke again, "Do you still ask yourself that question?"

Kratos blinked. "What question?"

"What value there is if everything passes away. That one."

Kratos hesitated a moment. For a moment he tried to form an answer, for the truth was that ever since he had come to Anna, his thoughts on that question had been in turmoil. At last he said, "Yes, I do ask it. From when I first met you- I began to ask it the more I saw your joy in everything around you. To me there was no worth, yet to you there was so much. I couldn't see it. I still cannot. A fire or a sunrise cannot render me awestruck. But I know that for you such things are beautiful. So I wonder what it is that I cannot see."

Anna smiled. "I think you're just not used to it," she whispered. "I know that since I could never see any of those things you mentioned, they mean that much more to me. But there's more that's beautiful than just the- the _things_ of the world. The people in it, the joy they have- those are worth a great deal. Even if they'll be forgotten. The love you and I have- the child that's going to be ours- those things are worth so much and makes the world so much more precious. And even if something passes and goes, it can still do something for someone, even if we don't know it."

Kratos nodded. He would have to do something within himself to accept her words in his heart. Yet he did not doubt they were true. Gently he brushed his fingers on her cheek before kissing her softly. After they broke apart, Anna laughed. "It seems I'm not sleeping much tonight."

Kratos felt his face burn. "I apologize."

"Don't," Anna laughed. "I like it when you talk to me like this." She rose and walked to the window, looking out at the sky. The deep blue of the early morning had begun to lighten a little. Kratos came behind her so she could lean against him if she wished. She did lean against him, and he steadied her. A smile came to his lips. He felt like a fool for doubting that he could open his heart to her. She had been right. Her words were a help to him like nothing else in the world.

Yet her next words caught him off guard. "Kratos, we need to start thinking about names."

"Names?" he repeated blankly.

Anna elbowed him a little. "For the baby. When I last went, the doctor said the baby would come in two months. And this poor child still has no name."

"We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl," Kratos said. The thought of the child was slowly becoming less fearsome, though he still found it hard to wrap his mind around the concept of another being with him and Anna.

"Then we need names for a boy and girl; it's not that hard!" Anna laughed. "Come on, you must know a name that'll sound all right."

"What kind do you have in mind?" he asked.

"Something- I guess I want- I- oh, I don't know! Just if you have anything, let me know, because I have no ideas at all."

A sudden name seemed to trickle through Kratos's memory. Where he had heard it, he did not know, but he knew the meaning, and it might be what Anna wanted. "For a girl," he said thoughtfully, "there is one name I know that you might find meaningful. It is 'Beata'."

"Beata?" Anna repeated, glancing at him. She repeated the name slowly. "Beata. It's- it's lovely. Does it have a meaning?"

" 'Blessed traveler'," Kratos answered. "It might be fitting."

"It might," Anna said slowly. "Beata Aurion. I think- I think I like the sound of it."

"Do you have any ideas for a boy?"

"Not yet," Anna said thoughtfully. "I thought about Ian, but it doesn't sound right with Aurion, and I don't know that- that that's the name I'd want the baby to have if he were a boy. I'd like the name to- I guess I'd like it…" Her voice trailed off. Then she laughed softly. "Lloyd," she whispered.

Kratos glanced at her. "Why Lloyd?"

"When we were in Luin, I remember that child I spoke to talking about her brother, and how kind he was to her. I remember she ran up to him, and shouted his name- which was Lloyd- and he looked so tired, but was so happy to see her. And from what she said, it sounded like that boy would do a lot to help others, no matter who they were or what they were like. And I think- I think that if we have a son, I would want him to be able to do that."

"I would want that too," Kratos whispered after a moment. "So we have the names. Beata and Lloyd."


	29. As If I Had Any Luck

**Oh boy. This chapter gave me many headaches, the biggest being: I feel like I'm really dreadful hitting the right balance of emotion, description and action, and it really bothered me writing this chapter- it felt like nothing I wrote was right. Which is one reason it took me so long.  
Ok, enough of my complaining. To reviewers!**

**CommodoreZelda13: When you read this, I think you'll understand why I went for filler in the last chapter. And I did survive (barely), thank you :)**

**andy: Thank you! It was just something I thought could happen. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the good wishes! They mean a lot.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: The typo is no more. Thanks for catching it!**

**Snowstar of RiverClan: I'd never heard of that name before I came to college and met someone with the name- it's pronounced "Bay-ah-tah" in case anyone was curious. **

**Shuojo Kakumei Rena: Thank you so much for reviewing! Kratos gave me problems in the beginning, and on re-reading, I think he got butchered by my lack of writing skill when I first started. I've been trying to salvage the damage, but I really appreciate your sticking with the story, and I'm really happy you like it. And I'm very happy you like Anna- the way I portray her is a little unconventional, so I'm really happy she came off well. Thank you so much for your support; you've no idea the wonders your review did for my self-esteem! **

**Elias: Yes... I did mess up Kratos in the beginning (see above), so I really appreciate that you stuck with it anyway, despite my crappy start. And yes, I messed up the directions as well- I really and truly apologize. I'll fix it when I have the time. Thank you for putting up with it anyway! I'm honored that you like this story, despite its many flaws. I really appreciate that you took the time to review- the feedback means a lot. **

A sharp pressure to her stomach woke Anna. She sighed and tried to sleep again, but to no avail. Three days before, she had visited Palmacosta's doctor, who had told her that the baby would probably come in three weeks, if not sooner. He had expressed concern over the small size of the child, but Anna privately felt that the baby had more than enough energy to make up for its size. The child was constantly moving, or so it seemed to its mother. But though the movements were uncomfortable, they always made her smile. She could not wait to see who the child would be. A daughter, with rich reddish hair and a laugh for the world to hear? A son, who would strive to match his father's skill with a blade?

Another kick thrust against her, and still another. She groaned and stood, rubbing her eyes. After all, night was falling. She could go outside and up the hill opposite the house to watch the sky darken. As it was, she had been sleeping since mid-afternoon. Grabbing a shawl, she left the bedroom.

That was when she heard shouts and a loud barking outside. Anna stopped dead in her tracks. Kratos had already left for his night shift in the city. Whatever was happening outside, she would have to deal with it. Even as that thought flashed across her mind, the barking became a howl, which trailed away in the distance. She felt her breath catch. What had happened to Noishe?

The entire house was dim, and Anna stumbled more than once descending the uneven stairs. Dull thuds echoed up from the lower floor. Just as she came to the spacious kitchen, there was a loud crash. The large wooden door seemed to tear itself out of the frame and swung crazily on its bottom hinge. Two Desians stood in the doorway. The foremost half-elf was carrying a bloodstained sword. His helmeted head almost brushed the lintel of the door, and his huge physique seemed to cause the walls of the room to shrink.

Anna froze. She was utterly alone. This was what Kratos had feared would happen; this was why he had been so averse to staying in one place. His dour outlook no longer seemed so foolish, but she could not think of that now. Her eyes raced around the kitchen and fell on a knife that lay on the center table of the kitchen, some distance to her right. Without hesitation she darted towards the gleaming weapon.

The large Desian sprang forward and seized her right arm from behind, jerking her backwards, but he was not fast enough. Anna's left hand had swept up the knife. As the Desian pulled her towards him, she whirled around and drove the blade deep into the half-elf's left thigh. A cry of pain grated from his throat. Anna yanked the knife out of his leg and tried to slash the arm that held her own. But the blood on the knife trickled down between her fingers, making it harder to grip the handle. Before she could drive the knife against the half-elf's exposed arm, his right hand had seized her left wrist, twisting it and bending her hand backwards. With a gasp she dropped the knife, which clattered to the floor.

The half-elf pinioning her wrists gave a grunt of pain. "Marl!" he shouted. "Get in here! I found a bonus!"

The Desian addressed as Marl came behind her, shoving the table carelessly aside. He seized Anna's arms and tied them behind her back so tightly that she expected her shoulders to come out of joint. The position was hideously uncomfortable, especially with the weight of the baby.

The child. Anna froze. The child. If the Desians were going to force her back into a ranch, her child might be born there. The horror of that thought almost crushed her. She could not let her fate befall her baby. Not when she had known the joys of freedom, not when she had been given the chance to love and live. She threw back her head and screamed for help three times before the half-elf who had bound her clamped a hand over her mouth. "Do you think anyone heard that?" he asked. Something about his voice made Anna guess that he was younger than the other. His gloved hand stifled her, covering both her mouth and nose, and she thrashed in an effort to break free.

The older Desian shrugged. "Would it matter? We could dispose of them easily enough."

"What are we going to do with her?" the younger one demanded. He released Anna and she gasped for air. His hands moved around her head, and Anna gagged as he forced a belt between her teeth. The leather was bitter with the taste of dirt and sweat.

"What we'd do with any other prisoner," the large one said matter-of-factly. "Put an exsphere on it, develop the thing, and remove when ready."

The Desian who had bound Anna grabbed her hair and turned her towards him. She could only see his chin, but she glared at him with all the hatred she could muster. He scrutinized her a moment. Then she heard him gasp, "This- this is the Angelus Project!"

"What?" the older one roared. "You can't be serious- there's been no trace of that for almost a year!"

"I'm certain!" The young half-elf sounded almost giddy with excitement. Anna stamped on his foot with all the energy she had, but lost her balance and fell to her knees. The Desian behind her seized her hair again, and forced her to look up at the large half-elf. Anna felt completely helpless as he gazed down at her, and fought to keep back tears of fury and fear. It seemed ages since Kratos had kissed her goodbye before leaving. Could she possibly delay them long enough for him to return? Had Noishe escaped these two? Would he find Kratos and lead him back?

"Do you think it'll still be useful though?" The voice of the large Desian forced Anna to pay attention. "I mean- it's pregnant. That might mess things up."

The younger one seemed to shrug behind her. "They have ways to take care of that."

Anna's blood ran cold. She tried with all her might not to think of what that might mean for the baby. But the images that rose in her mind were horrifying. This could not happen, she could not let it. Her mind seemed to have grown numb, only capable of forming the thought that she could not let them take her. Yet she was helpless and grew more conscious of it with every passing second. The two half-elves argued furiously over what their next step would be. The elder held that they go on to the city to get supplies, while the younger insisted that they needed to report the recapture of the escaped project immediately.

Eventually the younger Desian was able to prevail, and then the two wasted no more time. The large half-elf seized Anna under the right arm and yanked her out of the house. She went limp, forcing him to drag her out to the road. Finally he dropped her in the dust and slapped her hard. "Walk, human, or I'll lose my patience," he snarled. "We have a report to make, and I'm not going to take double-shift at the night watch because you won't cooperate." She felt a sword prod the back of her neck hard. "Walk," the younger Desian ordered.

And she did. The trek to the Palmacosta ranch lasted six hours, and the darkness added to her misery. Whenever the wind blew, whistling over unseen hills and stones, it seemed to be laughing. Anna forced down her imaginings and tried to look for something that would give her a chance to escape. But there were only cliffs to her left and a barren plain to her right, there was nowhere to run. And the road was deserted; after all, no one in their right minds would travel a road so near a human ranch.

Suddenly the gate of the ranch suddenly loomed in front of them. The elder guard shouted a password, and the huge metal doors swung open, revealing a courtyard lit with dazzling lights that hid the stars from view. Anna blinked several times before she could take in the shapes milling around her. Her captors had stopped moving, though the large one still kept a hand on her right arm. As she looked around, she could tell that something unusual was going on at this ranch. Ten Desians were standing in a group before the large main building of the ranch and their uniforms were different from those of her captors. From the way they looked at the building, they seemed to be waiting for someone. The soldiers patrolling the walls glanced down at the courtyard from time to time, as though watching for any development.

The two Desians muttered together, but Anna could not catch their words. The sky was black beyond the bright lights of the courtyard, and she gazed with growing despair at the high walls. Unless Kratos could find her, she had no way out. And if he came, how could he rescue her without revealing himself?

The Desians holding her seemed to come to an agreement, and hurried her towards the doorway of the huge building. As they passed the ten strange Desians, one of that group jumped upright with a shout of: "Wait! That's- that can't be-" But his words were cut off as the double doors leading into the ranch closed on him and his fellow soldiers.

Her captors led Anna down a wide hallway with black walls and doors. She wondered with a shudder what lay behind the doors, but was given no chance to see. The Desians stopped before a silver door and pressed a button. The door slid open soundlessly, and the two of them shoved her inside the small chamber before crowding in themselves. After a few seconds, the door slid open to reveal a long carpeted hallway. The lights here were less glaringly bright. There were three or four doors in the hallway. A raised voice came from behind one of them, but it was muffled and Anna could not catch the words. But her guards clearly could. The younger one stopped. "Lord Magnius doesn't sound in a good mood," he muttered to his companion. "Should we wait?"

The other Desian looked ready to explode, but suddenly one of the doors flew open. A half-elf even larger than the Desian who had helped capture her appeared. His scarlet hair stood out in painful contrast to the white walls, but Anna barely noticed him. For another figure had emerged beside him, and it was a figure she knew. Though he was now clad in armor rather than a white coat, she recognized his pale hair and slanting eyes. The name to put to his snake-like face rose in her mind: Kvar.

He removed the belt that gagged her and looked her up and down for a long moment. His lips twisted upwards in a very thin smile. "A012." He looked at the two Desians standing beside her. "Where did you find it?"

"In an old house," the younger answered proudly.

Kvar turned his gaze on Anna, his slanting eyes glinting speculatively. "How did you avoid us for so long, A012?" His gaze dropped to her belly. "Were you alone?"

She took a deep breath and spoke, her eyes fixed on Kvar, "You seem to have forgotten, but my name's Anna."

For a moment there was silence. At last the red-haired Desian broke it. "You let this vermin speak to you that way?" he growled.

Kvar did not even look at him. "Why not? She knows what happens to insolent prisoners. And in her- condition," he paused and passed a hand over her swollen belly, "there will be even more for her to endure."

Anna shuddered violently at his touch, and spat in his face without thinking. All the Desians froze. She met Kvar's eyes steadily, wondering how foolish she could be. Was she trying to get herself and the child killed?

After what seemed hours, Kvar wiped his forehead, and turned to the red-haired Desian. "I am going now," he said in such a cold voice that Anna felt her skin crawl. "And I am taking A012 with me. You," he turned to the Desians beside Anna, "Take her down. My men will see to her." The half-elves bowed and turned away, pulling Anna with them.

As soon as they were in the lift, the large Desian gave a groan. "We don't even get anything out of this! All because this thing had to piss off Kvar!" He struck Anna, and the metal studs on his glove cut her face badly. With an effort, she held her tongue, and stared straight ahead of her. The thought flashed across her mind that she was already falling into the survival routine of a prisoner.

Far too soon she was standing in the courtyard again. The walls of the ranch loomed high above her, but Anna felt as encased as she had been in her prison cell. The two Desians who had captured her shoved her at the half-elves in front of the door. These Desians must have accompanied Kvar, she realized. Wordlessly they cut the bonds that were wrenching her arms from their sockets, and re-tied her hands in front of her. For a moment she was at a loss, but then realized with horror that the Desians had gathered themselves and were falling into formation. They were going to leave. And take her with them.

Anna's mind felt as though it had been wiped blank. The only thought flashing through her mind was that she was captured. She was going to be taken away. Although she had only spent a few hours in the hands of the Desians, already it was as though she had never been free of them. The months spent with Kratos seemed to be already fading, like a beautiful dream which melted with the coming of the guard in the morning. Wearily she watched Kvar come out of the building and summon his troops. She felt as though she were watching the gigantic gates swing open with the eyes of another. Her legs seemed to move forward of their own accord, in rhythm with the five Desians before and in step with the five behind. Keeping her head bowed, she watched the rocky ground pass under her feet, and felt the shadows of boulders pass over her. They were heading north, she could tell by the stars. Where they were going, she could not guess.

A strong kick within her roused her suddenly, and she shook herself with horror at how easily her mind had shut itself into a cell. Had being with Kratos taught her nothing? How could she possibly have given herself up so easily? She re-traced every action, every step taken from her house to Palmacosta. As far as she could recall, there was nothing she could have done to prevent her capture. She had done what she could. But she could not let herself be taken to a ranch again. For her sake, and the child's, she could not let it happen. Yet now, as Kvar's troops shoved her forward at a merciless pace, she knew she would have to wait for a little. The rocky terrain left her no chance of escape, and she was far outnumbered. But if she could convince her captors she was broken, a chance might present itself soon. Anna lowered her head as the child kicked again. For the baby's sake, she would find a way out.

All the rest of that night they went on. They were travelling over rocky ground, with an occasional tree thrusting up into the sky. More than once she fell, and by midmorning of the next day her dark leggings were in tatters and her legs and feet were bruised so badly that every step was a torment. Each time she fell she received the lash of a whip across her back. Once, the strike came as she had been turning her head, and her left cheek burned as though someone had traced it with a hot poker. Her back and legs ached as though they were coming apart at the joints. Carefully she slid her bound hands over her swollen belly, praying that she would feel some kind of movement soon. How much more of this pace could she endure? And what of the child?

The troop marched late into the night. As soon as they halted, Anna fell to her knees. Her entire body was shaking, and her mouth was dry from the dust of the road. The Desians completely ignored her. One of them began to build a roaring fire beside her, while five of the others began to raise a tent that Anna assumed was meant for Kvar. At any rate, he was standing to one side of the group, watching with a self-satisfied smile. She clenched her teeth, and felt the heat of the fire blasting her face. Lowering her head, she dropped her hands to her belly again. She had not felt the baby move since she had been taken from the ranch. Fear began to steal over her. Surely nothing had happened to the child. Not after only one day.

Her breath quickened involuntarily, and suddenly a hideous sensation of weariness took her limbs. Anna could feel her hands growing colder, and her body felt as though it had lost all ability to move. She shut her eyes. What was happening to her now? For a moment she had no idea, but then felt a vicious heat searing across and into her chest. She sighed. It had to be the exsphere. The weariness stole its way into her heart and mind, numbing her to the entire world. Before she realized what had happened, she was unconscious.

The harsh crack of a whiplash on her face brought her to her senses. The grey dawn was coming, and the Desians were packing with frightening efficiency. Already there was no trace of the fire that had burned the previous night, and the tent had vanished into one of the Desian's packs. One of the half-elves hauled her to her feet, and the troop split into the formation of the previous night: five before her, five behind her, and Kvar at the head of them all. Another whip cracked across Anna's back, causing her to cry out. She wondered if all human ranch captives had endured such abuse, and had to fight the overwhelming urge to give herself up for lost.

The second day was even more hellish than the first. The weariness that had taken hold of her the previous night overwhelmed her after only a few short hours. Every time she fell, she received the hideous sting of the lash on her back. After perhaps the ninth time she had fallen, she realized that the back of her tunic was being shredded. Cold air struck the burning cuts, relieving them a little. But dust and dirt from the road made their way into her skin, extending the sting of the lash-marks. Anna no longer hoped to escape. All she prayed for was that somehow she could live from one hour to the next. Once they stopped, she might have the chance to recover herself and make a bid for freedom. But till then the only thing she could concentrate on was passing over uneven rocks and treacherous tree roots without falling.

When they halted, it was at the very edge of a dark and tangled forest. Perhaps the strain of her journey made the place worse than it was, but Anna felt as though the forest would only be one lower level of hell on this journey. In the same manner of the previous night, one Desian began to build a large fire, while the others set up Kvar's tent. Only this time, Kvar walked over to Anna and surveyed her for a long moment. A smile twisted his face, but he seemed thoughtful after looking her over. Anna wondered if he was thinking of slowing the pace. After all, he could not regain his prized experiment only to kill it on the march.

After a moment, the Desian leader turned away from her and entered his tent. With an effort, she drove him from her thoughts. Her shaking hands crept down over her belly, craving a sign that the child was still well. It was possible she might not have perceived a movement while the troop was moving. She told herself that over and over, but her heart was growing desperate for any sign of life, any small flicker that meant the child was all right. For several minutes she waited, her heart thumping loudly in her ears. But she could detect nothing. No kick or overturning. There was nothing.

Tears sprang to Anna's eyes, but she blinked hard, and swallowed. She had to get away now. Time was running out for the child, that was clear. Her eyes desperately noted any detail of the camp that could be an exploitable weakness. But there was nothing. Kvar's tent was standing behind her, pale against the dark trees, and the fire was roaring so fiercely beside her that she longed to move away from it. But four Desians had spread their bedrolls on the left and right of the fire, while the last two stood by the road on watch. She was hemmed in, and yet she had the feeling that the answer to her problem lay beside her.

Suddenly the answer clicked in her mind. The fire. Anna had to restrain the urge to laugh. Of course. She carefully glanced behind her, lowering her head as she did so. The tent was not too far away, and the forest suddenly no longer seemed so fearsome. The two guards were watching the road, and talking in soft voices. They were not even looking at her. Anna knew she had to act now. Yet the thought of the pain her idea entailed checked her. To do what she had in mind would hurt so much, and she knew because she had done something like it before.

She swallowed and lowered her head submissively as one of the guards by the road glanced her way. The best way to go would be the woods, but beyond that Anna did not know what she would do. All she could hope was that her plan would cause enough chaos for her to be able to slip away. After that her luck would have to serve her. "As if I ever had any luck," she muttered to herself. "I suppose I'll find out now."

She breathed deeply, as if to take courage from the night around her, and seized a burning log from the fire. It did not hurt as badly as she had expected, though she still gasped as the flames licked her arms. Turning awkwardly on her knees, she tossed the flaming wood at the base of the tent behind her.

For one terrifying instant, nothing happened. Then with a roar the side of the tent went up in flames. The Desians on guard cried out, but they could do nothing to stop the roaring fire. Anna clambered to her feet, and plunged her hands into the fire again, scattering it on the Desians who had been sleeping beside it. Without waiting to see what the effects were, she dodged the burning tent and began to run for the trees, barely keeping her balance with her bound hands. In the camp there was a confused jumble of sound. Shouts and the clanging of swords reached her ears, as well as cries of pain. She thought she could hear pleas among the shouts, but did not want to see what was happening behind her. All she wanted was to get away.

A few feet from the woods, she heard the rush of the flames increase and looked behind her. The entire tent had collapsed, and screams came from within the blaze. Anna wondered dimly if she should feel some joy that Kvar was within that fiery prison, but she could not summon any feeling for him. She had to get away. Turning her back on the camp she stumbled into the woods, blinded by pain which racked her entire body, inside and out. After only a few moments she fell hard over a tree root, barely able to brace herself with her bound hands. It seemed the Desians had been stalled by the temporary loss of their commander, but she could not wait. She had to go on.

But where was she to go? Anna rose to her knees, but sank down and raised her bound hands to her head. Kratos's voice and face rose in her mind, and she fought the urge to scream hysterically. Where was he? Why had he not come for her? Her back was burning from the whiplashes, and aching from the strain of carrying the baby. Terror coursed through her. Had there been any sign of life for the baby? Helplessly she traced her swollen belly again, tears falling unchecked down her face. The fear she felt for the child was growing stronger with every passing second. Why had there been no sign? Unless- Anna closed her eyes as though that would keep the horrible thought away.

A rapid crunching in the undergrowth made her look up. Someone was coming towards her. Each step seemed amplified in the darkness of the wood. Shadows were lurking under every tree trunk, but Anna knew that if she moved, she would make more noise than her hunter. The footsteps seemed to be coming from behind her, moving slowly over the dried leaves. Anna held her breath and remained as still as she could. Perhaps there had been no point to her escape at all. She shook her head as though to rid it of the thought, and remained as still as possible. Her mind flashed back to Kratos, and her longing for him became so intense that she had to restrain herself from calling his name.

The footsteps halted. Anna strained her ears, but could hear nothing. For a long moment there was nothing but silence in the darkness. Only the shadows moved. Even the trees seemed frozen, as though they were listening in as much terror as she. Anna could hear her joints creaking as she breathed, and wondered if the unseen stranger could hear them as clearly as she could. Slowly the steps resumed again, moving slightly to her right, heading north and back towards the path. Very slowly she let her breath out and raised her head.

Then a searing pain raced through her. Her stomach felt as though it had gone rigid and the pain within it made her long to scream. Desperately she clamped her hand in her mouth, but could not hold back a strangled cry. The pain tightened, forcing its way through her abdomen and downwards. Anna felt tears running down her face, though she could not tell whether they were from pain or fear. She tried to stand, but the pain almost made her fall again, and she grabbed a tree trunk for support. There was no mistaking this pain. She had been warned about it often enough by the doctor in Palmacosta.

The child was coming.


	30. Smiling

**So many reviewers! I should write evil cliffhangers more often...**

**Kiomori****, AngelofaWhiteNight, Shuojo Kajumei Rena, Snowstar of RiverClan: Just jump right in and read. Kratos is not going to be found in my A/N's (*sigh... I wish)**

**CommodoreZelda13****, Elias, and andy: I'm glad you liked the chapter! I hope this chapter is worth the wait! And Elias, thanks so much for the good luck with school- by some miracle I did reasonably well, so thank you for your support!**

**Captain Arbitrary****: Thank you for your review! I'm really glad you think this story is original, and I'm really glad you liked the chapter because I honestly thought it was horrible when I wrote it. As for Lloyd... who knows? But we love him anyway XD**

**I really adore everyone reading. But even if you don't normally review, would you think about for this chapter? I'd appreciate it very much...  
And... enough from me. Read! **

The bright afternoon sun beat down on the blue-clad figure beside the hard dirt road. He was on one knee, examining a bare space of ground. A blackened rock dropped from his hand as he straightened and looked northwards up the road. The large dog-like creature at his side barked and darted a few paces up the road. For a moment the man stood still, and then began to run steadily up the path, his red-brown eyes burning.

Though his face was blank, Kratos's mind was in turmoil. How could so much have gone wrong for them so quickly? There had been no warning of their danger, and it was clear that Anna also had been caught unawares. But her own capture had been very different from his; that he knew as soon as he had reached the house. For Kratos there had been no overt battle, no force used to subdue him. He felt as though he could still hear Mithos's cold greeting ringing in his ears, and he closed his eyes for a moment. How had Yggdrasill been able to discover him? It had been a night just like any other; until the tall winged figure had materialized before him. There had been no explanation, simply a demand that Kratos return to Derris-Kharlan with him.

With an effort he tried to stop thinking about the strange encounter. Noishe was loping far ahead, keeping to the scent of the Desians they were tracking. The sun sank into a red haze that made every rock and tree seem distorted and dim. Night fell and they kept running. Kratos knew there was no choice, he had to find Anna. When he had stood before Mithos telling him of her death, he had felt there might be hope to keep her safe from the dangers that beset her. But immediately after he had left Mithos's hall, one of the hideous puppets that haunted Derris-Kharlan had told him that the Angelus Project had been re-captured near the Palmacosta Ranch. Then that hope had disappeared as though it had never existed. Perhaps for him and Anna it never would.

Clouds shrouded the moon and stars, and still the road wound on. Kratos set his sights on the barren landscape before him. He could faintly perceive the outlines of trees in the darkness, and realized the further he came that they were steadily growing closer together. The night seemed to be closing in around him, rendering everything in the world somewhat dreamlike. The only thought in his mind was Anna. Everything else- the stones, the trees, and the winding road- seemed to be fading. Perhaps what he was doing was hopeless. Assuming that Noishe was leading him right, what good would come of his saving her? They would only have to run again, and what point to it was there when the both of them were so futile? He was one man against the ruler of the world, and he could not even protect the woman he loved from that ruler, much less save the world from him.

All the more reason he could not fail now, he reflected bitterly. She was still alive at least, her and their child, and he was not going to let them be taken from him without a battle. Anna had said she trusted him with her life and he would not fail that trust now.

A sudden orange flare sprang up before his eyes, far ahead against a strip of darkness. At last they had found what they seeking. He drew his sword and went forward more slowly, straining his eyes to try and make sense of the shadows milling about the fire. As he drew nearer, he could see two figures standing by the road, their shoulders slumping with exhaustion. Given how much ground this patrol had covered over two days, Kratos was not surprised by their exhaustion now. At least they would be all the easier to dispose of when he came to them.

He left the road several hundred yards away from the camp and made his way forward, surveying the camp. A large tent was visible and a fire burned brightly before it. The shadows on the ground beside it were impossible to identify. Kratos could not see Anna anywhere and wondered for a horrible moment if Noishe had been wrong directing him after this patrol. It was possible she could have been kept at the Palmacosta Ranch; all Kratos knew was that she had been taken near that area.

Even as he paused in doubt, the fire suddenly seemed to flare higher than usual. Kratos jolted back to attention, and realized that the tent was burning. The two road guards shouted, and began to run back to the camp. That was when a short figure sprang up, a silhouette against the flaming tent. The somewhat ungainly outline bent over the fire, and suddenly sparks flew as the person scattered the burning sticks and coals. Kratos felt his heart leap in his throat. Though there was no way to know for certain through the smoke, he was sure that he had found Anna.

The guards ran forward and drew their swords as the figure turned and darted away from the camp toward the forest that lay behind it. Kratos leapt forward to meet them. One stroke of his sword clove the helmet of the foremost Desian. The half-elf's companion sprang back and caught up a spear in his left hand. In his right he held a short sword.

Kratos impaled two of the Desians who were struggling to draw their weapons before leaving Noishe to draw the attention of the camp. He focused on the guard. The half-elf moved backwards as though to gain a better position. Kratos followed him, knowing that since this one had seen his face, he could not leave him alive. But after that he had to find Anna and get her away as soon as he could.

The Desian was watching him intently as he retreated, and Kratos met his gaze coldly. The half-elf seemed to be losing his enthusiasm for attack the more Kratos advanced on him. After a few seconds, the Desian suddenly dropped the spear and took to his heels, screaming as he did so, "Don't kill me! Don't kill me! I followed orders, I don't have anything to do with her capture!"

"I'm not surprised," Kratos spat, before seizing the spear the man had dropped and throwing it with sure aim between the Desian's shoulders. The man collapsed with a grating cry that died quickly as he fell face-down. The swordsman turned and made his way to the woods. He was conscious of nothing now but a furious rage with himself and with the world that refused to let him rest. Another time he might have resigned himself to Fate if he had been met with such misfortune. But now everything that had passed, his capture and Anna's torment, only served to harden him. She was in danger- she and the unborn child she carried, whose presence terrified Kratos because it elevated him to a position even older than his years. He had to find them both and save them from the madness in which they were caught.

Every tree was hunched and somewhat stunted. Their strange branches cast many shadows, making the starless night seem even deeper than it was. Strange creakings and whisperings filled the air. Had Anna come here? The fact that she must be close was maddening. Where could she have gone other in this forest? Kratos was certain he had seen the obviously pregnant figure run in this direction. Yet he surely would have heard her if she were in this area; it would not be easy for her to move quietly in her condition. Perhaps she had not entered the woods and had fled to the road after all. He began to move back towards the path.

Then a cry suddenly tore through the night behind him. It was muffled, anguished, and impossible to identify, but when he heard it a sudden hope flared in him so suddenly that he forgot everything, even the Desians so near. "Who is that?" he called in a low voice.

A pained gasp came to his ears. Then came the sound of movement, as though someone was struggling to move or stand. Kratos moved back, his eyes seeking any figure and his ears strained to catch any sound. "Who is that?" he called again.

The movements immediately halted. "Impossible," a voice gasped. Then the speaker raised her voice and Kratos was sure. "Is that you?" Anna called.

Her voice was strained, but clear; and Kratos felt his breath catch in his throat. She was here. He turned around, eyes raking every moving shadow. "Where are you?"

"I'm close, but I can't see you at all! Make a light, do something! Be quick!"

Kratos was astonished at the urgency in her voice. He hesitated a moment, and heard Anna give a groan that was almost a cry. "What's the matter with you?" she exclaimed, her voice rising so high that Kratos turned quickly to make sure none of the Desians were coming. "Hurry up!"

Worried, he spread his wings. The surrounding trees were lit with the blue light which sharpened every shadow. Then he heard footsteps, slow and staggering, to his left. Kratos whirled to see Anna stumble between two large trees. One glance was enough to tell him that she was badly injured. Her left cheek was marked by a red welt and her bound hands were scraped and raw. Her eyes were large and he could tell that she was in agony by the way her lips twitched and the trembling of her body.

Horror joined Kratos's fierce anger, and he stepped forward slowly, barely remembering to draw a dagger to cut her bonds. "Anna," he whispered. "Anna, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, you idiot!" she cried, so loudly that Kratos grabbed her hands as though that would silence her. She drew a shuddering breath and hissed, "The child's coming! Now! We have to leave!"

Her words rang in his ears. Now. The child was coming now. Terror, exhilaration, worry, and pride crashed within him, and a strange kind of anguish ran throughout his thoughts. His child was coming in the middle of hideous danger and he simply was not ready. He felt that with sudden certainty. Even if the threat of Mithos and the Desians was not looming over him and Anna, Kratos doubted he would ever have been ready for those words. He glanced in the direction of the camp to see if Noishe would come, but a cry from Anna made him realize they had no time to wait. The protozoan would have to fend for himself.

For several minutes they walked as quickly as Anna could manage, bearing north and away from the Desians, keeping the road in sight and at a distance to their right. Once she stumbled and Kratos caught her. As his hand braced her, sliding behind her back, his hands encountered ridges and raw skin. He realized with rage that her entire back had been lashed mercilessly. And he knew better than to suggest they stop to heal her; it was apparent she was thinking of the child and the child only. He cursed himself in silence and kept going, wincing every time a gasp or cry of pain escaped her. There was nothing he could do to ease this pain for her; she would have to endure the childbirth on her own. And she had already endured too much on her own in the past days.

After many minutes, rain began to fall softly. Anna gave a groan in which pain and laughter were comingled. "Wonderful," she gasped. She suddenly gripped Kratos's hand tightly and slowed as her whole body was trembled. "I can't go on much more," she whispered. "I can't do it. This baby isn't going to wait for us, Kratos."

He looked down at her, his heart pounding in his ears. Kratos had not the first idea of what to do for a woman in labor, but he knew that Anna had to stop and rest. With an effort he tore his gaze away from her anguished face and saw a light far away through the trees.

For a moment Kratos stared at the faint gold square, unable to believe what he was seeing. As his eyes adjusted to the distance, he realized that he was looking at a small house, little more than a cottage. It was better than nothing, and it was the only possibility for help they had. It lay a good distance ahead of them, but they could reach it if they followed the road. Accordingly Kratos turned to Anna. "How much time do you have?"

She turned her brown eyes to him. Tears were caught on her eyelashes, but her voice was steady. "Do you see something?"

"I think there's a house ahead. There might be someone there who can help us."

Anna smiled faintly, even as she squeezed his arm and clenched her teeth. "I thought you hated 'mights'."

As soon as they reached the road, Kratos carefully lifted Anna and walked as quickly as possible to where he had seen the cottage. It was hard to spot through the tangled trees, but it was there, and the windows were bright against the trees.

Before they reached the door, it was opened by a tiny old woman with a wrinkled face and a sharp nose. "Who are you?" she demanded. Her voice was rough and strangely clipped, and she looked fierce despite her small stature. Her gaze went from Kratos to Anna and she seemed to size up the situation in that quick glance. "Well bring her in then!" she commanded. "Don't stand there staring like a half-wit! Get her in!" With a mutter of "stupid men," she propped the door open and darted back into the house.

Relieved, Kratos entered and set Anna down. Immediately to the left of the doorway was a chest over which the old woman was bent. She straightened up with an armful of blankets and immediately took Anna by the hand. "Come with me," she said firmly. "I've seen childbirth before, and I've been through it too. Come back there to that room there. You'll get through this, even if it doesn't feel like it now."

She guided Anna through the cramped sitting room past two armchairs drawn up by a fireplace in the left of the room and through a door at the back of the house. Kratos caught a glimpse of the corner of a bedpost in a dark little room before the old woman stepped in front of him. "Oh no," she said firmly. "You stay out here. You'll get in the way and you clearly don't know what you're doing. I'll take care of her. Stop looking at me like a kicked dog; you aren't coming in."

Anna grinned behind the woman's back even as her face went white from pain. She mouthed, "Go on," and went out of sight into the room. The old woman immediately followed and banged the door behind her.

Feeling strangely drained, Kratos stood still for a moment. The room was narrow and very warm, with a rather high ceiling and pale yellow walls. The fireplace took up almost the entire left wall, and it was a strong blaze. The armchairs in front of it were a tired shade of red, and the swordsman could only see their backs. He turned away and gazed out the window, where the rain was falling harder.

A sudden movement from behind him made Kratos whirl, his hand flying to his sword hilt. But the only thing there was an old man, who had leaned around one of the chairs to see what was behind him. His blue eyes were very sharp and his face was covered with smile wrinkles. After surveying the swordsman for a few seconds, he asked slowly, "So what happened? M' wife moves too quick for me. Who are you?"

Kratos hardly heard the question; his attention was caught by a cry of pain from the room. He spun towards the door and heard the old woman say soothingly, "You're doing well." Then, in a more surprised tone, but still muffled, "Good goddess, what's been happening to you, girl?"

"A lot," Kratos heard Anna gasp. She gave another cry and Kratos involuntarily stepped towards the door.

The old man watched him intently. "Your wife?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes," Kratos answered shortly.

The man nodded. "It's hard being outside of it."

Kratos nodded once and turned back to the door. But it was closed and he knew it would remain so. He began to pace up and down the room, trying to block out Anna's agonized cries. How could it be that not forty-eight hours ago he had been standing before Mithos's throne convincing the madman that Anna was dead? He had felt strong then, as though he had secured her safety. And now it all felt as though it were for nothing. He was not even given the chance to make amends for his failure by being with her.

"Hey." The old man's creaky voice broke into his thoughts. "Stop walking like that; the floor squeaks, and it's giving me a headache. Trust me, it ends eventually. Just keep your mind off it."

"How?" Kratos snapped, glaring down at the old man, longing for him to be silent. So much had happened in such a short time, and so many things had gone awry. When Kratos had discovered that Anna had been taken, he would have stopped at nothing to save her. And now she- and the child- were in the hands of an old woman in a cottage in the middle of an unknown forest. How could things have come to this?

The old man did not drop his gaze, and his eyes only seemed to grow sharper. "Sit down," he said, with a trace of his wife's tone. He raised a hand to the chair opposite the fire. Reluctantly Kratos sat at the very edge of it. "Now," said the old man, "why don't you just talk? It'll help pass the time for you, and give you something other than worry." He was silent a moment, and then asked, "What happened to you and your wife to make you show up here?"

Kratos looked into the fire. "She was captured by a Desian patrol."

"Where?"

"Near Palmacosta."

"Really?" Something in the old man's voice made Kratos look at him more warily. The blue eyes gleamed, and the swordsman recognized an observant mind behind them. "Interesting," the old man said slowly, "given that you're a good way north of the city. Why here and not near the ranch?"

Kratos shrugged. "I have no way of knowing."

"None?" The blue eyes narrowed. Suddenly his gaze fell to Kratos's bloodstained clothes. "You get into a fight?"

Kratos glanced down. The stains must have come from when he had attacked the camp, though he could not remember much of the battle. "I caught up with the patrol."

"And got her away from them? With her pregnant and all?"

For the first time that night Kratos felt a smile pulling at his lips. "She did some of it herself."

"But you still attacked the patrol."

"They did not follow us, if that's what you fear. I killed some of them, and I would have known if they followed us."

"Oh that wasn't what I meant," the old man said ruminatively. "But I am curious- how'd your wife get captured in the first place?"

Kratos looked down at the dark wood floor. "I was not there when she was taken."

"Why not?"

The swordsman glared at the old man. "I was-" He stopped. The memory of Mithos materializing before him as he stood at the night watch rose in Kratos's mind. The angel had threatened to decimate Palmacosta unless Kratos came up to the comet with him. What choice had there been for him? "I was arrested."

"Arrested?" the old man repeated. "Hm. Interesting… what was the crime?"

Kratos had to choke back a laugh. What crime had he not committed before Mithos? Treason, assault, and, now that he had left again, lying and more treachery. "I offended someone powerful."

"Which always merits punishment," the old man said thoughtfully. "But then how'd you get out of it?"

Again Kratos dropped his gaze. Convincing Mithos that Anna had died had been one of the most nerve-wracking moments of his life. And then dropping to his knees and apologizing for his 'crimes' had required more acting skill than Kratos had known he possessed. Yet somehow it had come off, and Mithos had celebrated his return as a great thing. It made Kratos's skin crawl to think of the sickening joy in that false child's face. "I was able to talk my way out it."

"Hm." The old man was silent again and he bent his head. Kratos wondered if he had fallen asleep, and rose as Anna cried out again. He began to pace the room again. For long hours, the two remained silent. Kratos at last stopped by the front door and shut his eyes, trying to keep himself from flinching at the screams from the bedroom. He had never heard Anna sound so anguished before. And all throughout his anxiety, a thread of fear ran through his thoughts. Soon he would have to face his child. That thought was more frightening to him now than anything.

"You know, you're not a bad liar." The old man's voice made Kratos jump violently. He was watching Kratos from the shelter of his armchair and his face crinkled into a smile. "Don't deny it. You haven't told me everything, and I don't know that I blame you. But you see," he gestured to his legs, which were peculiarly straight and stiff before him, "when you can't move, you learn to tell people by their words. I don't know what you and your woman've been through, but I can tell it wasn't pretty. Just- all I ask is you not drag me or m' wife into it, if you can help it. I'm old and so is she, and we don't need the trouble."

Kratos stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Fair enough."

For a moment they were silent. Then Kratos looked up. Anna's cries had stopped. Then a sound came that made him tremble: the thin wail of a baby.

He swallowed once and realized he had been holding his breath. The old man glanced at the door, then back at Kratos. "Congratulations," he said simply.

Kratos barely acknowledged the praise. His knees felt weak and he cursed himself silently. Surely he had more self-control than this. Then the old woman came out with stained cloths and a tired air. She still looked sharp, but her eyes were no longer quite so fierce. "Get in there, then," she said with a lopsided smile. "It's done."

Carefully he made his way across the room. Those few paces felt like the longest walk of his life. He hardly knew what to make of the feelings crashing within him. Fear he recognized. Anticipation too, an element of pride, a smattering of relief, and an unidentifiable ache that ran through all his emotions. He drew one last breath and slipped in the door.

Anna was sitting upright on the bed. Her dark brown hair was plastered to her forehead with sweat, and her face was paler than Kratos had ever seen it. But her gaze was riveted on the tiny form in her arms, and she was smiling with joy that gave her an unearthly beauty. Tears were streaming down her face, and her large brown eyes had a look of awe and love so tender that it almost hurt to look on her. She glanced up at him, and her lips trembled. "Look," she whispered. "Just come look. He's so beautiful."

Kratos slowly moved forward, hardly able to believe what he was seeing. He could have held the infant in just his two hands without any trouble at all. Everything about the baby was tiny; the wispy fingers, the small rounded nose, and delicate hands. Gingerly, as though his presence might shatter something in the room, Kratos sat down on the bed. "It's a boy," he whispered, and immediately felt a fool. Was there really nothing else he could say?

Anna grinned. "Yes," she said softly. "Lloyd. This is him." For a while, she was silent, and then spoke in an almost frightened voice. "He wouldn't be here if not for us. I- I can't believe it. He's so beautiful."

He nodded and looked from the baby to Anna. "Are you all right?"

"Just tired," she whispered, and her eyes dropped to the child in her arms. The little boy was wrapped in a white blanket, which sharply contrasted with his surprisingly dark hair. Kratos could see the faint rise and fall of the baby's chest as he slept. The child had clenched his fist, but now he moved a little, and the fingers twitched slightly and opened in some unknown dream. Tentatively the angel reached out to touch his child's hand, and then suddenly recoiled.

Anna glanced up at him and sighed, "I might have known you'd do something like that. What's the matter?"

Kratos's gaze was fixed on the baby. That little face was so peaceful. The swordsman thought of the blood on his clothes and the sword still belted at his side and almost quailed. He felt tainted and filthy before his little son, who was completely dependent on him. How could he have anything to do with such an innocent? How could he take such a spotless creature into his hands?

Anna watched him for a moment before a very gentle smile crossed her lips. Kratos saw it and was ashamed to meet her eyes. But she just leaned back into the pillows. Looking up at the ceiling, she closed her eyes and said softly, "I don't know if I told you this- but when I was carrying him- he'd move if you said something to me. He'd turn toward your voice. I think- I think you should take him."

"He's barely twenty minutes old, Anna. How can I take him?"

She laughed softly. "You'll be fine. He's very light; just keep your hand under his head."

The silence that hung in the room after her words lasted an age for her husband. Then he made up his mind. Gently he slid his hands underneath Anna's. Somehow the baby seemed even more fragile than he had in Anna's arms. Kratos could feel his heart slowing as though his heartbeat would disturb the child. The little one was so small. Carefully Anna freed her hands, and Kratos was holding his son.

He stared at the infant, his heart pounding. He hoped with all his might that Lloyd would stay asleep, for Kratos felt that he could not stop gazing in wonder at that peaceful little face. For a long moment, he looked down at his child. All his life had been spent doing nothing, merely continuing and following, sinking into oblivion with nothing to hold onto or fight for. Yet this was his child, his flesh, his blood. This new life had sprung from him. Against every law of his nature, he had somehow been the means to this miracle. And in that instant, Kratos knew that there was no turning back now. He had to find a way to bring about a world where this child could live in peace. There was no way for him to shirk that, it was a duty that he had to fulfill no matter the cost. The thought somehow only strengthened the joy in his heart, making it so great it was almost painful.

At last he whispered, "Lloyd, I- I was once so frightened of you. And now all I can do is wonder how I lived without you."

For the first time he wished he had more skill to speak his heart. The words felt so empty compared to what he wanted his son to know. Yet as he watched, the baby's mouth suddenly quirked upwards, and Kratos felt his heart stop in earnest. Unbelievable as it seemed, the sleeping child was smiling.


	31. Somewhere to Stay

**Wow, I'm so sorry. I really have no excuse for how long this took me- is it normal to hit a total burnout point when writing a multi-chaptered story? That's sort of what happened to me...**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I'm glad you liked it! I was really nervous about that chapter, so I'm glad it went well.**

**Kiomori: Yay, I did something right! Am I weird for being happy that you reacted that way?**

**CommodoreZelda13: I didn't handle that part about Kratos as well as I wanted to, but I realized when I was looking over my earlier chapters that I rely too much on info dumps, and I wanted to try to avoid that. I'm sorry it was confusing!**

**Snowstar of Riverclan: Ha, maybe... but it's still cute!**

**AndieArmstrong: Yeah- I like seeing Kratos be awkward too :) And you're right; it is a lot of fun to mess with him...**

**andy: I'm glad I helped give motivation. I hope the paper went well!**

**Elias: It wasn't easy to get Kratos's reaction right, given how many different emotions and reactions I had to cover over the course of that chapter. And it's really not easy to do school and this story... but I'm obsessed enough to find a way to get it done. **

"I think he'll sleep now," Anna whispered.

She carefully pulled Lloyd's blanket around his arm and looked across the clearing at Kratos. He was standing at the edge of the small forest clearing where they had stopped to rest. From where she sat Anna saw him smile a little. "Can you go on?" he asked. "We should not stay in one place for too long."

"Unless you plan on raising Lloyd entirely on the run, we'll have to stay somewhere," she observed. It was a thought that had been preying on her mind since they left the cottage a few days before. But as soon as she spoke, she almost wished she could take back the words. Kratos's face tightened, and he immediately looked away.

Anna watched him a moment, then said firmly, "Kratos, will you stop glaring at the trees and come here?" He glanced at her with expressionless eyes, and she could not help but smile. "Come on," she said. "We haven't had a chance to talk for a while now. I don't think we need to worry too much. That patrol was pretty far from anywhere, so it'll take them a while to do anything."

Something in the way her husband tensed at her words made Anna stop speaking. For a moment there was silence. Then Kratos said slowly, "It is not the patrol I'm worried about."

"What then? I can tell something happened. But what was it? It's really put you on edge."

"Mithos found me."

Anna's heart felt as though a fist were closing around it. "When? How could he have found you?"

"In Palmacosta he appeared in front of me, and took me back to Derris-Kharlan." Anna knit her brows and Kratos went on: "It's outside the realm of both worlds, and he watches both from there. As far as I could tell, some of his subordinates have spies in the city. They must have told him that someone matching my description was in Palmacosta. Given that he appeared where I had the post as night guard, I think someone must have seen me there and passed the information along. But he took me back with him."

"How did you get away?" she demanded. "Did you- you didn't promise him anything, did you? You didn't make some kind of deal with him?"

"No," Kratos answered sharply. "Do you think I would have? I told him you had died. And I apologized for attacking him."

Anna blinked. "Did he believe you?"

"I think so, but I don't know how long that will last. I found out you were taken by pure chance, and when I found that out, I left."

"You just- left? How did you find out I was captured?"

Kratos shrugged. "I ran into one of the angels that Mithos employs as servants, and he gave me a message saying that you had been captured near the Palmacosta Ranch. That was when I left. I lost some time because I could not find where you had been taken after I came to the house."

Abashed, Anna looked at the ground. "Oh. I- I'm sorry for snapping at you then."

Kratos's gaze dropped to Lloyd as he slept in her arms, and he smiled faintly. "Given how little you've slept the past few nights, it's not surprising."

"Like you're one to talk. I think I've seen you sleep once over the course of a year."

"I've slept more than that, even if you haven't seen it. But it does not affect my temper."

"I wouldn't say that," she laughed. "That one time you did sleep, when you woke up you were… much less reserved. But then again that was just after our wedding night…" She shrugged her shoulders expressively and laughed even harder at the flush that spread across Kratos's face.

Lloyd stirred in her arms and she immediately bit her lip hard, hoping she had not woken him. His hands twitched a little, but he did not wake. Anna breathed a sigh of relief and looked up to see Kratos watching them both with gentle eyes. "You know you can come here, right?" she asked quietly. "He's your son too- you don't need to stay away from him."

Kratos looked affronted. "I am not staying away from him."

Anna grinned. "Really? Then why are you standing fifteen feet away? Come on. You can take him for me. I've been sitting here a while."

He hesitated a moment before kneeling before her and gently taking Lloyd in his arms. Anna drew back and stood carefully. But as she moved, the scabs on her back cracked painfully, causing her to gasp. Kratos glanced at her quickly. "Anna-" He stopped and gave her a sharp look. "How badly is your back hurt?"

"It's pretty bad," she answered simply. "I- I never had to go through that before. I knew that prisoners in the ranch got whipped, but I never actually had it happen to me." She stared at the ground. "Where are we going to go?" she asked after a moment. "What are we going to do?"

Kratos stood, careful to keep Lloyd steady. "I don't know," he said heavily. "When I was last on this world, it was not in such decline. While none of the major roads and paths have changed since then, several towns that were in different places have disappeared or been abandoned. We're in a hard position, since there's very little near us now. As far as I can tell, the mountain range lies between us and the towns in which we could most easily hide."

Anna shrugged. "Even an old house would be better than the road at this point."

"Even if we found an older house, it would be hard to stay. We have almost nothing, Anna."

She groaned in mock annoyance. "I know that! But I don't want Lloyd in the open for too long. He's too little. I mean- he was born early and he was small even then! If he gets sick or something-"

Kratos shrugged a little. "If he gets sick, I can take him to a doctor quickly enough."

Anna stared at him. "Kratos Aurion, if you seriously mean you'll fly with Lloyd, I swear I will hit you with some blunt object as soon as you're not holding him!"

"Then I suppose I'll carry him for a while."

"You- you were serious?"

He raised an eyebrow. "All I said was that I would hold him for a while."

She glared at him. "That's not an answer." He smiled somewhat ironically, and Anna tried without success to fight down a smile of her own. "I do mean it, though," she added sternly. "If you ever fly with him, I will make sure you have a black eye as soon as you touch the ground."

"As soon as I touch the ground? Even if I was still holding Lloyd?"

Anna laughed. "Oh, so you'd use your infant son as your shield? That's a low way to save yourself."

"But it would be effective." He drew Lloyd a little closer as a cold wind drove its way through the pines. Anna noticed suddenly how carefully he was holding Lloyd and felt tears spring to her eyes even as a smile came to her lips. Swallowing, she tried to keep her voice steady. "Kratos," she whispered, "have I told you that I love you?"

A faint flash of recognition came to his eyes as he smiled. "Not today."

Anna laughed shakily. "Well, I do."

Kratos looked as though he was about to reply when he suddenly stiffened and whirled to face the southward side of the grassy circle. Anna came beside him. "Let me take Lloyd," she said softly. Fighting to quell the pounding of her heart, she went on, "What did you hear?"

"Something approaching."

He laid a hand on the hilt of his sword, still keeping his eyes fixed on the trees that stood to the south. For a few seconds he stood very still, head bent a little as he listened. Anna moved back, wondering almost wearily what was coming for them now. But suddenly Kratos relaxed. "It took you a long time," he said, seemingly to the wind.

Even as he spoke, a huge white head and shoulders emerged from between two pine trees. Anna gasped in relief as she recognized Noishe. "I didn't know he was with you!" she exclaimed.

The creature seemed to raise an eyebrow and then pushed past Kratos so decisively that Anna chuckled. Head extended curiously, he came up to Anna slowly, keeping an eye on her. She tensed instinctively; though Noishe would not hurt Lloyd, he was certainly capable of disturbing him. "Don't you dare wake him up," she muttered, glaring at the protozoan.

Noishe paused mid-step, and Kratos laughed out loud. Anna grinned, but did not take her eyes off Noishe's huge head, which was too close for her liking. "I'm not joking," she went on. "Even though Kratos seems to think I am. Don't wake Lloyd."

To her astonishment, Noishe actually lay down and rested his head on his front paws, looking up at her. He looked so pleading that she almost felt guilty for snapping at him. "What is he doing?" she asked Kratos.

He was standing behind the creature, still laughing. "Believe it or not, I think he's trying to convince you he won't do anything. I've never seen him be so submissive about it though."

Amazed and amused, Anna glanced down at the protozoan. "I never really got to know you very well, did I, when you were with us last? I guess I'll have to pay you more attention."

The creature whined so plaintively that Anna laughed in earnest. Lloyd jumped in her arms, and she immediately clamped her lips shut. Yet he merely blinked a few times. His small dark eyes looked up at hers sleepily and then closed again. Anna breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at Kratos. With a smile he came forward and took his son in his arms. Anna was as gentle as possible when she moved her hands, but that movement was too much for Lloyd. He squeaked a little as his father took him, and then began to cry, a sad wail that sounded all the more pitiful in the space of the forest.

Anna winced, but Kratos seemed strangely unfazed by the baby's cries. He drew Lloyd closer and began to speak softly, "Lloyd, hush. It's all right. I'm here, nothing's wrong. Be easy, we have a ways to go soon. Hush."

And to Anna's surprise, Lloyd did begin to quiet at the sound of his father's voice. His cries faded to whimpers as Kratos continued to quietly say his name. Slowly his quivering little hands slowed and he began to breathe more deeply. After some minutes, Kratos drew the blanket more closely around the little form and shifted to cradle Lloyd against his chest, the little boy's head resting in the crook of his arm.

Anna drew a deep breath. "I'm in awe," she whispered with a smile. "How on earth did you do that?"

Kratos met her eyes. "Truthfully- I'm not sure."

She laughed very softly. "It must be your voice then. I think I'd calm down too, if you ever spoke to me like that."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying I don't speak to you- affectionately?"

"Maybe," Anna retorted mischievously. "Whenever you do, you usually stop yourself and look like you've been caught stealing something."

"Sometimes I feel like I am."

"Then you're an idiot," she laughed. "If you're a thief, don't go for petty things- take some pride in it!"

Kratos stared at her for a minute before laughing quietly. "You've lost me."

Anna leaned up and kissed him. "That's a shame for you; it makes sense to me. Are we going to stay here for the rest of the day, or are we going to keep moving? Even though we don't where we're going."

Kratos nudged Noishe with his foot, and the creature rose reluctantly. "If you ride him, we'll go faster. And if he's carrying you, there is one place we might be able to reach. There was a city on the easternmost edge of the continent when I was on this world. Its specialty was shipbuilding, though the people also dabbled in mining. If there is any remnant of it, there might be people in the area."

Anna looked at him doubtfully. "If there's nothing there, we'll have made the trip for nothing."

"It's the only choice I can think of that's not miles away. We can go over the mountains to Asgard, but it would be hard with your injuries and with Lloyd."

"True." She sighed. "We don't have many options, so I guess that one will be best. But is there any way we could go partway? If we go part of the way, you could go and see if there's anything there."

Kratos looked at her with sudden pain. "Anna, I am not leaving you and Lloyd alone. Not after what happened."

Anna smiled and touched him lightly on the shoulder. "All right, we'll stay together. I like that better anyway."

She eased herself onto Noishe's back, taking Lloyd from her husband as soon as she was settled. Kratos watched Lloyd warily as she held him against her with one hand. "Can you hold him like that?" he asked, sounding anxious.

Anna looked at him in surprise. "Yes. But if it makes you nervous, you could hold him. It'll be easier, certainly."

He hesitated a moment, then spoke firmly, "I think that would be best."

Lloyd was carefully transferred back to his father's arms, and they made their way through the creaking pines back to the road. As she gripped Noishe's shoulders, Anna suddenly laughed. "You know, I think it's normally the mother who worries about the danger, and the father who's supposed to laugh it off."

Kratos glanced at her. "What is that supposed to imply?"

She smiled. "Nothing at all." She paused a moment before adding, "Just that I think that you'll be a father that most children just dream of having."

The trip to the eastern inlet was an anxious time for Anna and Kratos. The road they travelled was treacherous, winding along the edges of cliffs and through forests where the path seemed to disappear in the tree roots. Lloyd shivered in the cold nights, and their going was slow. Kratos became more drawn than ever over the course of that week of travel, his face blank and his eyes troubled. Anna herself felt weary beyond words, and more than once she nearly passed out while she clung to Noishe. When Lloyd cried in the night, rising to go to him was a struggle that she sometimes felt she could not bear. Those slow seven days felt like some of the longest of her life.

Late one morning they came suddenly to the sea. The path on which they walked led them to the edge of a cliff beyond which the sea stretched out endlessly under the cloudy sky. The path fell steeply and turned abruptly to the north, angling downwards to a round scoop in the side of a cliff. Inside the scoop lay what was the clear remnants of a town. The buildings were small and solidly built, made to withstand a lifetime of storms. But there was little sign of life.

Anna slipped off Noishe and turned to Kratos wearily. "It looks deserted."

He shook his head. "There's smoke coming from some of the houses. There are still people living here, but I doubt there are many."

"Then we'd stick out a mile if we tried to go there."

"Can you think of anything else?" Kratos asked somewhat irritably. "Getting this far was difficult enough with y- with Lloyd."

"Were you really going to say 'with you'?" Anna snapped.

Kratos began to speak, stopped, and then turned away. The look of irritation on his face made Anna all the more annoyed. "He was," she commented to Noishe. "He's not even denying it. And the worst of it is, I can't come up with any way to prove him wrong. You certainly weren't any trouble. And since Lloyd's been good, and since clearly Kratos can do no wrong when we're travelling, I guess it must be me causing the difficulty."

"That is not what I meant," her husband said stiffly.

Anna turned away and began walking down the path. After some seconds she remarked lightly over her shoulder, "I'm going to try hold back the fact that no matter what I do, I can't stay mad at you for long, and that no matter how hard I try, I can't help but remember that for some reason," she whirled to look back at Kratos, "for whatever reason- I happen to love you." She paused a moment, and then added, "And after that, I hope you'll feel guilty enough to apologize."

At that her husband looked so uncomfortable that Anna laughed in earnest. Kratos turned his face away, but she saw that he was laughing himself. With a smile she walked back up to him. After a short interval in which Kratos did apologize, Anna took Lloyd and together they descended the path towards the houses. The wind that blew in from the ocean was bitterly cold, but to Anna the chill did not feel nearly as threatening as it had that morning.

The dirt streets between the outermost houses were deserted. Anna caught herself staring at the empty windows of the little brown houses and wondering what life had been like for the people who once had dwelt there. However as they drew near to the center of the town, the signs of life grew more obvious. Some of the windows were lit, and people would pass them on occasion, making their way out of the town towards the cliff-paths. The stares she and Kratos received made Anna feel like an intruder. She looked up at Kratos. "Are you sure we should stay here?" she whispered after passing two men with axes on their shoulders and swords at their sides, who had given her husband a hostile glance. "There's something wrong here, can't you tell?"

"Yes, I can," Kratos answered quietly. "But I do not think it is with these people."

"Then what about those men?"

"They were just woodcutters, Anna. But these people are under some kind of threat. At the very least they look afraid."

Anna met the cold eyes of a woman who was sitting on the porch of her house mending a net of tough-looking fibers. "How can you tell that?"

"Those men you noticed, those woodcutters- they had swords at their sides. I can think of no explanation for that other than that they might need them."

"But what does that show?" Anna asked fiercely. "A lot of people need swords; they have the Desians to fear."

"In this remote location? I think they fear something else."

They made their way to the center of the town, where the houses were formed in a circle. Five townspeople were gathered there. All of them turned to face Kratos and Anna as they stepped into the open circle. Anna looked at them closely. She recognized one of the three women as the person they had passed some minutes before. The people did look afraid, she saw, but they also looked belligerent. One of the men, a tall figure with dark grey hair and blue eyes, stepped forward. "Who are you?" he asked. "How did you come here?"

"We happened to be passing in this direction," Kratos said calmly. "And we need someplace to stay."

"Well then you chose the wrong place," the man retorted. "We're dealing with enough without having strangers show up."

"What are you dealing with?" Anna asked.

The man looked at her in surprise. "Robbers. There's a band of them up in the hills there, and they come here to steal. They take food, mostly, though sometimes they want weapons as well."

"And you've done nothing to stop them," Kratos commented quietly.

The man bristled, but kept his voice level. "There are only eight families here, and we're not warriors. We can make weapons, but for selling, not for use. This wasn't a problem until a few years ago. And we're hardly a real town; we don't have anywhere to turn."

Kratos shrugged and casually laid a hand on his sword. "You could hire a mercenary."

"And pay them with what?" the man laughed humorlessly. "If you're looking for a job, you'd better head to Asgard or Palmacosta. You'll get nothing here."

"I did not say I was looking for a job." Anna glanced at him, not liking where she guessed his mind was going. Kratos seemed to sense her glance, but ignored her and went on, "My wife, my son, and I need somewhere to stay. If you can provide that, I can repay it by guarding this place."

The man stared at him for a long time, as though trying to determine whether or not he was in earnest. At last he shrugged. "If you can do that, you and your family can stay. We're not in much of a position to turn down help. There's more than enough deserted houses around that you can take your pick."

Kratos nodded. "How many robbers are you dealing with?"

The man shrugged. "It's hard to say, since they never all come here at once. They just send a few men to bully people into giving what they want. My guess is that there are about ten or fifteen somewhere in the forests on the cliffs up north. If you can deal with that- good luck to you." He inclined his head and turned away.

As soon as he made his way back to his friends he was surrounded. Anna guessed that they were arguing furiously with him, judging from the way they were gesticulating. But she had a few words she wished to say to Kratos and as soon as he turned towards her, she walked away toward the edge of the ring of houses.

Looking somewhat bewildered, he followed her. As soon as they were out of earshot, she whirled on him. "What were you thinking?" she demanded. "You're one person, Kratos! How are you going to fight off a band of robbers when these people haven't been able to do anything about it for a few years?"

He shrugged. "I am not going to wait for them to come here. As soon as I can, I'm going to leave with Noishe and search the hills around here for their dwelling place."

Anna's mouth fell open. "You're impossible. What if there are more than you expect? How are you going to deal with them without revealing yourself?"

"If I go after them in the forests, it will be easier for me to deal with them without fear of being noticed."

Anna glared at him a moment before turning towards the ocean that lay a short distance away beyond the houses. "You're impossible," she repeated in a whisper, looking down at Lloyd's peaceful face. "Impossible."

Kratos put a hand on her waist, and leaned down to kiss her on the temple. "Love, I will be fine. Don't worry. It's safer for Lloyd if we stay in someplace remote, and it will give you time to recover."

Anna tried to keep herself from smiling, but could not do so. "Fine," she whispered. "But I still think you're an idiot. And please, for the love of heaven, don't do something stupid. Much as I'd enjoy saying 'I told you so,' I'd rather have you be right that you can deal with this. Even if it does make you one of the most arrogant people I'll ever know." She turned her head so that his face was inches from hers. Just before he kissed her in earnest, she added, "Please, just be careful."


	32. Securing Safety

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry about how long this has been; my updates are probably going to be roughly every week and a half or so- school is killing me at the moment. But here's an early Easter present for you all!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Yes, you'll see. The real fatherson stuff is going to come after this chapter, so stick around!**

**Snowstar of Riverclan: And you won't even tell me what the mistake was so I can fix it? The manga was online on Mangafox, though my friend made me a CD of it- if you need help finding it, just PM me.**

**andy: I'm glad it went well. I'm sorry this update took awhile- school is difficult... Not much else to say :(**

**Shuojo Kakumei Rena: Your review really gave me the confidence to get going with this. I was going through a huge bout of depression about this story and my writing in general, and I was wondering how I'd get the energy to keep going with it. Your review came at exactly the right time; thank you so much for being so supportive. **

"Kratos, why do you even bother? You know as well as I do that I can't make this."

He tried to hold back a laugh, but could not do so. "You've learned other forms of cooking that are much harder than this. Most people find it much easier to make soup than, say, a roast."

Anna groaned. "I'm not most people! All you have do for a roast is make sure that you cook it for the right time! It's a lot easier than making a soup!"

"How can making a soup be harder than a roast?"

"You've tried the soups I've made," she laughed. "They come out terribly. It seems like you just have to guess how much of anything to put in. And I always guess wrong."

She hissed in pain as a splash of boiling water landed on her outstretched arm and drew back from the small stove. It stood in the corner of the main room of the house they had taken three weeks before and did a little to alleviate the cold that crept in through the cracks in the door and shutters. Dishes and chopped foods from the cooking lesson lay on the table in the center of the room. A small door in the north wall led to the only bedroom where Lloyd was sleeping.

Anna contented herself with arranging the dishes they had used in a neat stack on the table. "Have you had any luck finding out where those robbers might be hiding?" she asked over her shoulder.

Kratos shook his head, watching the broth. "Noishe and I have been scanning the surrounding area for the past twelve nights, but have had no success. It's possible that they've gone away, but given the fear of the people here, I want to be certain."

"So you're going to keep doing these night hunts?"

Kratos turned toward her. She was fiddling with a wooden bowl, looking pensively at the cracks in the rim. "I think I should until I can at least locate them." Anna lowered her head and Kratos put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you worried? I will be fine; I have Noishe with me every time I go."

She leaned back against him and pulled his arms around her. "Oh I'm not worried," she said lightly. "It gets really cold when you're not with me at night."

"So the only reason you wish me to stay is because you're cold?"

"You're not worried; why should I be? And it does get really cold here, I'll have you know."

Kratos bent to kiss her cheek, but she lifted her head to press her lips to his. But their kiss had only just begun when a knock came at the door. Anna drew back with a smile and quickly went to see to the visitor. It was Aaron, the man who had first told them of the town's troubles. He was standing in the doorway with a set face. "They've come," he said quietly.

Kratos nodded once and grabbed his sword where it lay against the wall. As he belted it on, he asked, "How many have come? And could you see from what side of the town they came?"

"Didn't see from where," Aaron said. He cast a worried look over his shoulder. "But they're demanding weapons today. There's only one man out of all of us capable of making them, and he can't afford to lose them. You need to come and send them off."

"It would be better to wait," Kratos said firmly. "I need to find out where these bandits are hiding and how they have been able to remain in this area unchecked for so long a time. If you will allow me, I think it would be best to follow them and trace them. Then I can deal with them for good."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to explain that to Jon when he has to give up the swords he's spent all winter forging? Because if you do what you said, that's exactly what he'll have to do."

Kratos was barely able to keep back a sigh of impatience. "Try to explain it to him if you can. If I can track them down, I'll make sure he gets his weapons back. I'll be there in a minute."

Looking dubious, Aaron left. Anna looked at Kratos. "Guess the cooking lesson'll have to wait," she commented.

"It was not much of a lesson when you wouldn't stay to learn." He threw on his blue cloak and belted his sword at his side.

Anna grinned. "Maybe not, but it doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable. And- take care- just watch yourself."

"I know what you mean." He kissed her one last time. "I will watch myself, I promise."

Quickly he left the house and caught up with Aaron. Together they went to the house of the only armorer who lived in the dying town. Three men with mismatched armor were standing before the tiny smithy, looking bored. The armorer himself, a small man with dark brown eyes and a wiry frame, was standing stubbornly before the entrance to his workplace. He was standing his ground, but his eyes betrayed his fear.

Aaron stopped some distance down the street and indicated that Kratos should stop as well. "They killed the last person who tried to stop them," he said, his face pale. "I'm surprised Jon's trying to stand up to them."

"His resistance seems to have confused them, if nothing else," Kratos replied quietly. The men did look somewhat taken aback, but they all were armed and were clearly losing their patience. The swordsman clenched his hand on his sword. The logical thing to do would be to allow the men to take what they wished and then follow them back to their stronghold. Yet for some reason, the thought nagged in his mind that Anna would have stepped forward, and for some reason it made him feel guilty. Even as he tried to dispel that thought, the thought of his son sprang into his mind. When Lloyd came to be old enough, he would look to his father to show him how to act. He almost had to laugh. One or the other he could have dealt with, but when both of them were fixed in his mind, he was hard-pressed to resist them. Accordingly he walked forward. None of the men noticed him; they were arguing with the armorer and their debate was growing heated.

"Get in there and get us the weapons!" Kratos heard one of them order. "We have clients waiting on those things, and if they don't get them, we'll make sure they know you're the reason."

"Before or after they cut off your heads?" the armorer retorted. "Sounds like you're dealing with people just like you, and we all know what you do to people who disappoint you."

"If you know it so well, then get the weapons." One of the robbers, a pale man with lackluster eyes, toyed with his thin sword as he spoke. His dispassionate gaze was a sharp contrast to the open anger in the faces of the other two men.

At that moment, one of the other men glanced around and noticed Kratos. He had a scar that twisted his lip into a perpetual sneer. "Who are you?" he demanded. "You don't look like the rest of the idiots in this place."

Kratos said nothing, but laid a hand on his sword. Immediately the third man, who was a head taller than his companions and several inches taller than Kratos, stepped forward. "You're going to fight us?" he asked.

"I will unless you leave and never return," the swordsman answered evenly. "Which I doubt you will agree to."

"You have that right," the tall man said thoughtfully. He drew his own sword, a notched blade that had clearly seen years of wear and charged towards Kratos.

The robber's first stroke swept toward Kratos's body, and the mercenary sprang backwards. The long-armed bandit leapt forward and raised his blade to aim a downward strike to Kratos's neck. If the stroke had ever landed it would surely have killed, but the man's wide swing left his entire body exposed. Kratos simply darted forward and drove his own blade between the man's ribs. Surprised pain danced across the man's features before he collapsed the ground.

The robber's fellows stared at the fallen man in shock. The man with the scarred face immediately looked to the pale one as though for guidance. But the man merely stared at his fallen comrade with blank eyes before fleeing. His friend immediately sprinted off with him. Kratos watched them run for a few hundred yards before running after them, taking care to dodge between deserted houses and sheds while keeping the men in his sights. With any luck, they would lead him to their base which had evaded him and Noishe for so long.

Kratos followed them carefully into the forest that lay to the north of the town. He wished that he had time to call Noishe, but as long as he kept his eye on the two men who were running through the woods ahead of him, he felt he could follow them easily enough. The ground sloped upwards at a steep angle, and the trees cast many shadows. From time to time the men ahead glanced behind, but Kratos was careful to stay in the shadows, and they did not see him.

The trees became cramped together, and Kratos was forced to draw closer to the men to make sure they did not slip away along some unseen path. Now the ground was hard, and the small mountain that rose out of the trees loomed ahead. The men did not stop running, though they glanced behind them more than once. Kratos followed silently. They were staggering now; it was clear that their endurance was not equal to the terrain. But they clearly thought they had shaken off pursuit, and slowed down to a walk. He stayed some distance away, watching them as they caught their breath.

At last the scarred man gasped out, "He- he just took Harry down like it- it was nothing! Where did they find him?"

The pale one shrugged helplessly. "How'd I know? We could take him if there were more of us, but now that Harry's gone- it'll have to be our best men. And nobody was good as Harry."

They resumed their walk. The pale one was walking through the trees, keeping one eye on those to his left. The scarred man was silent for a moment before muttering, "Goddess- seeing Harry go down like that- he'd survived everything! Wolves, shipwrecks, you name it- and now he's dead in that ruin of a town."

"I know," the other sighed. "And we're not ever gonna find someone like him again. I know Carl's the one we answer to, but Harry was a fighter like no one I've ever seen."

"What do you think Carl's gonna say about this?" the scarred man asked, stopping suddenly. "He's not gonna like that we've gone running from just one man."

"One man who killed Harry," the pale one grunted. They had come up to a wall of rock almost at the summit of the slope and the man was tugging at a mass of tree roots and vines growing on a large boulder. As the man cleared away the tangled plants, Kratos could see a fissure in the rock face. It did not look like a cave, but the two men entered and disappeared downwards.

He came forward cautiously. The fissure sloped downwards, cutting into the rock, but it did not go underground. The sound of voices came drifting up towards him. Cautiously he crept into the fissure. The path crept downwards and curved to the left, like a winding dungeon passage. As he came to the end of the crack, he could see a wide open space encircled by rocks. The trees rose up all around. Several tents were in place in the clearing. The two men Kratos had followed were surrounded by their fellows. He drew against the rock wall and listened to them tell how their friend had died.

When they finished, there was silence. "So you didn't even go after him?" one of the robbers, a man with red hair and large hands asked at last.

"You didn't see him fight," the pale one said a bitter laugh. "He took Harry down like it was nothing, like it was something he did every day. For the love of the goddess, Harry only got in one swing before the guy impaled him!"

Kratos was filled with a sudden loathing for the entire situation. He suddenly remembered what Anna had said to him so many months before, that he struck people down as though it was nothing. Hearing the men speak of him with such fear gave him no pleasure. All he wanted was safety for his family. If he destroyed these men, the families of the town would provide that safety without question. Why, then, was he hesitating now?

At last the red-haired man spoke up, "Get ready, all of you, we're dealing with this now. We'll put down any resistance those families might have been trying to start. Dan, Raul, Thiago, and Lew, you look for that man when we get down to that ruin. Maybe we can convince him to join us; if not we kill him." The pale man and his scarred companion looked outraged at the suggestion of Kratos joining, but did not dare to argue.

As for the swordsman himself, he had seen enough. The troop would have to go out through this pathway, and it was narrow enough that they would be forced to come up through it to the woods one at a time. Turning, he darted back up the rocky passage as quietly as possible, and found himself face to face with Noishe's huge head. He almost fell back down the path. "Move back," he hissed.

The creature shifted to allow Kratos to come out of the passage. He put a hand on the protozoan's head and listened intently. The men would be arming themselves for some time yet. "Can you help me?" he muttered softly. "There are perhaps twelve men there; I do not think there are more. I should be able to deal with them as they come up through this passage, but eventually they will realize what is happening, and be forced to retreat back to the clearing down there, or run. If that happens, can you deal with them?"

Noishe nodded and and settled on his haunches, looking alert. Kratos found himself wondering more than ever what Anna would make of his detachment. He shoved that thought away, for now was not the time for it. Already he could hear the sound of footsteps coming up the path. He drew his sword carefully and settled himself with his back to a large tree. Noishe rose in silence and retreated so he was standing far to the right of the fissure. The two men Kratos had trailed came out, muttering to one another about how they would kill the stranger before allowing him to join their band. The pale one had taken two steps out into the forest when Kratos struck him down. His friend barely had time to raise his sword before he met his end.

Kratos tried to summon some feeling, anything, other than the disgust that filled him. But he had little time to wait for three men came trooping up the fissure, talking and laughing loudly. As soon as they saw him, they drew their swords. "So you're the one they talked about," one of them said grimly. "We'll make sure you remember our faces before you die."

They spread apart and charged forward, one to each side and one directly at him. Kratos ducked, driving his blade across the exposed chest of the man coming at his left, who wore no armor other than a rusted breastplate. The thin metal tore under the force of the stroke, and the man shrieked once as the sword pierced him. Immediately Kratos leapt upright and parried a stroke from the man who had charged towards him from the front. The man stumbled back several yards and Noishe sprang down on him. Kratos ignored him and turned his attention to the other man, who made a desperate charge. The red-haired swordsman sprang to one side and thrust his sword into the neck of the last robber as he stumbled past. The man fell silently.

Feeling more sickened than ever, Kratos wiped his blade on the man's tunic. Such killing had never bothered him before, but thinking of Anna and Lloyd made him feel tainted now. Perhaps there might have been some other way of dealing with these men, but because he had not thought to look for it, there was no choice but to destroy them now.

For several minutes, no one came up the rock passage. Kratos waited. Sooner or later they would have to come out. At last one man came to the entrance of the passage. His eyes met those of the swordsman. For one instant they stared at one another before the man turned and fled back down toward the clearing.

The swordsman leapt after him, Noishe at his heels. Together they came into the clearing. The remaining men were in the process of examining weapons or inspecting them. As soon as Kratos and the protozoan ran out into their sanctuary, the men froze. Kratos stopped in response to some unknown reflex and in that second, one of the men ran forward with a raised axe. It was easy, far too easy, for Kratos to throw the man off balance and kill him as he flailed to regain his balance.

At that, the rest of the band sprang into action. Three of the seven moved forward, while the remaining four circled Kratos from behind. The swordsman's eyes raked the men and focused on one whose hand was shaking. Before any of the others had time to react, he cut the man down, and gutted one of the robbers beside him. One of the other men who was too close ran out of the circle. Kratos paid him no heed, knowing that Noishe would deal with him. Three were left. They fought valiantly for their lives, but died in the grass before many minutes had passed.

Kratos barely remembered coming back to the village He did not respond to the shocked cries that came when Aaron spread the word that their tormentors had gone. All Kratos was conscious of was a disgust with himself and a desperate longing for Anna. It seemed an eternity until he came back to his house, still being pursued by grateful well-wishers. He did not know what to tell them and was on the verge of shouting at them to leave when Anna opened the door with Lloyd in her arms.

At the sight of her, the three townspeople who were pursuing Kratos stopped in their tracks. Kratos himself was vaguely conscious that she looked beautiful, but all he wanted was to see her alone. The two women and three men looked from Kratos to her, and stepped away. Anna let him in and said something gently to those outside before shutting the door on the twilight outside.

As soon as the door was closed, she looked at him intently. "You look almost sick," she said quietly.

He shrugged at that. There were no words to describe the feelings within him then; guilt that had been far too long in coming was crashing in his heart. Anna seemed to notice. But all she said was, "Can you take Lloyd for me? I need to make up his bed."

"Anna- I can't take him." The words almost flew out of him.

She raised an eyebrow. "Kratos, he's sleeping. You don't need to worry about anything unless you plan on waking him up. In which case, I will make you take care of him whether you like it or not."

He tried to summon a smile for her, but felt that it was lacking. Carefully he took Lloyd from her, and contented himself with watching his sleeping son. Anna quickly disappeared to make the bed and Kratos kept his eyes fixed on Lloyd, feeling just how fragile the little boy was.

She came back after she had put Lloyd to bed, but Kratos could not bring himself to look at her and jumped violently when she put a hand on his shoulder. She stepped back, looking thoughtful. For a long moment, there was silence.

Eventually Kratos met her eyes. "Do you know what happened?"

Anna shrugged. "I know that you somehow dealt with those people. And I know that you were attacked by one of them earlier today."

He leaned on the table and clenched the edge with hands, not knowing if he wished her to know just how coldly he had cut the men down. Anna came beside him and slipped an arm around his waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and the two of them simply stood together for what seemed hours. At last Anna whispered, so softly that even Kratos could barely hear her: "It'll end eventually, Kratos." He turned to stare at her and she smiled rather sadly. "You'll figure this life out soon. I can't imagine what it's like for you now, but I think it will get easier."

He did not have the heart to tell her that it never would. Of that he was certain. He had lived too long, had seen too much, to ever have an easy life in the world. Anna seemed to notice his skepticism, however, and shoved him a little. "Don't believe me, do you?" she sighed. "Well, maybe I'm wrong; that's happened more than once. If you're suffering, you can tell me. But don't glare off into the distance like you can't stand the sight of the horizon. It won't help you, and it gets annoying after a while."

Kratos tried to fight down a laugh, but could not do so. Anna grinned and drew his head down to hers to kiss him for a long time. When she finally drew back, she whispered, "And if you want to hear something that will really make you laugh, I had a woman come up to me while you were gone to give me a warning about you."

"A warning? You've already defied every warning you've gotten about me; how could this one be anything new?"

"Well you haven't heard it yet," Anna laughed. She pulled back and stood leaning against the doorway to the bedroom, her eyes sparkling with humor. "She told me that she'd seen you sneaking out of the house at night and that you probably were seeing a lover."

Dumbstruck, Kratos could only stare at her. "She believes that? I was out looking for those bandits, you know that!"

"Yes," Anna threw back her head. "But she didn't. I would have been angrier but I burst out laughing as soon as she finally got around to telling me. And I couldn't bring myself to tell her off because her daughter was with her, and the poor girl looked so embarrassed."

Kratos felt his face burning. "What makes the woman assume she can spy on us and then interfere?"

"She's bored, probably. I wasn't terribly happy about it either, but I think I confused her a little when I laughed." Anna smiled at the memory and looked at the floor. "I will admit, though," she said after a moment, "the word 'lover' has a rather nice sound to it. Rather sweet, rather mysterious."

"That word is usually used to describe an illicit relationship."

Anna blinked. "Illicit?"

"Well- unlawful. Or forbidden."

"Then technically I guess we are lovers," Anna said with a smile.

She looked so lovely in the warm light of the evening that Kratos reached out a hand. She took it with a smile and he pulled her close in a faint echo of a dance. "How do you mean, lovers?" he asked after a moment.

Anna's eyes sparkled all the more. "Can you imagine anything more forbidden than an angel taking a wife?"

At that Kratos could not help but laugh. "You're a strange woman, Anna."

"It took you this long to figure that out?"

Pulling back out of his arms, she opened the door that looked onto the deserted street. For a while she stood, breathing in the warm air that smelled faintly of the ocean. Kratos joined her. Anna glanced at him and looked past the houses over the restless water. "You'll have to take Lloyd down there, when he gets old enough," she said with a smile. "I bet he'd like that."

"You think so?"

"Yes, I do." Anna leaned back against him. Kratos let his gaze wander over the street, taking in every movement. A flash of light from one of the houses further down the road caught his eye. A woman with a thin face and broad shoulders was leaning out, watching him and Anna with a curious expression.

Anna seemed to feel the watcher, for she turned towards the window. Immediately the woman ducked out of sight, and Anna laughed. "That was the woman who came earlier," she explained. "I think she wants to see what I'm going to do with you now that she 'did her duty,' as she put it."

"She is still watching," Kratos said thoughtfully. A sudden thought came to him and he bent as though to whisper in Anna's ear.

She laughed aloud when his lips brushed her neck. "That's what you want to show her? Why be so subtle about it?"

"Why indeed?" Kratos murmured, before pulling her into a kiss that had no subtlety whatsoever. When they finally broke apart, he noticed with some satisfaction that the window slammed shut. Anna laughed again, and together they went back into the house.


	33. An Odd Request

**Would you look at that! A reasonably quick update!**

**andy: Thank you- school is a little wild right now, but mostly because I've lost my keys... and have till tomorrow to find them or fork over more money than I can afford... Anyway, I'm very glad you like it- thank you so much for your praise :)**

**CommodoreZelda13: Oh- I'm sorry if it felt rushed... but don't worry, I still have stuff planned to keep things interesting! **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: It's not really shock- I was going for more disgust, but I know what you mean. I'm glad you enjoyed it!**

**Own nothing. **

**Wait! [shameless plug for my friend] So my amazing artist friend Maria who first introduced me to Tales of Symphonia has finally gotten a deviantART. The link is on my profile, and I ORDER you to go and look at some point and time. That is all.  
**

"You make me nervous sometimes, you know that?" Anna whispered.

Lloyd gave her an unintelligible response and looked up at her with his huge eyes. He had just woken from a nap, and in the process had nearly rolled off the bed. Anna sat down beside him and kissed his hands. Her son gave her a wide grin, bringing a smile to her own lips. Straightening up, she surveyed him more closely. It was too early to say which of his parents he resembled; his little face was round, but she guessed that that was true of most babies. His hair was a darker brown then hers, though it lacked the red tinge that marked his father's hair. But of one thing Anna was certain: that Lloyd had his father's eyes. The irises of her little son had tints of the strange garnet color of Kratos's eyes.

As Anna bent towards him, he grabbed her hair. His mother laughed and gently worked the tiny fingers free. Immediately Lloyd grabbed her hair again, his eyes squinting as he tugged the brown locks. "Ow," Anna muttered. "You're really strong for two months, do you know that?"

"You shouldn't let him think it's all right to pull your hair, Anna."

She glanced up to see Kratos in the doorway and spared a moment to wonder how he'd been able to enter without her hearing a sound. Then again she had not been paying much attention. "Why would that worry you?" she asked with a smile. "I never said it bothered me. If it makes him laugh, I don't care."

"Do you want him to think that's all right?"

Anna laughed in earnest. "He's two months! I don't think he's going to be taking any lasting moral lessons right now!" She turned to Lloyd, who had jumped a little at the sound of her laugh. "Your father's a strange person; do you know that, Lloyd? He thinks too much."

Kratos sat beside her on the bed, and Lloyd reached out a hand to him. Kratos took it and watched as Lloyd's fingers curled around his thumb. "Thinking is not a bad thing, Anna."

"I never said it was, I said you do too much of it."

"What you see as too much sometimes may not be enough."

Anna stared at him. "That made absolutely no sense."

He glanced at her with a half-smile. "I understood it."

"Then do you feel like explaining it?"

Kratos gently sat Lloyd upright and held him steady as the little boy grabbed his hands. "Do you really think it matters?"

Anna grinned. "From that I'm going to guess you had an insult in mind."

"You think I would insult you?"

"Yes. Especially if I'm right and you don't want to admit it. And I still say you think too much about things." Lloyd gave a shriek and waved his arms. Anna laughed aloud. "See, even Lloyd agrees with me."

Kratos smiled and lifted the little boy onto his lap. "That was an agreement?"

"Of course. Wasn't it obvious?"

"If you say so." He readjusted Lloyd, who had begun to squirm a little, and turned him to face his mother.

"I do," Anna laughed. She reached out to touch Lloyd's cheek, and immediately he grabbed her finger, smiling all the while. Anna felt her breath catch as she looked at him. It was so strange to think that he was hers.

Shaking off her thoughts, she raised her head. "Did you have any luck finding a decent set of chairs? The ones we have are almost broken."

"They should be ready in a week."

"Who's making them?"

"The woman down the street."

Anna winced. "The one who's been trying to make trouble between us ever since we came?"

Kratos gave a wry smile. "The same." He raised his head suddenly as a knock came at the door. He glanced at Anna questioningly. She shrugged in response and went out to the main room to see who the visitor was. When she opened the door she was surprised to see the daughter of the woman who she and Kratos had just been discussing. The girl was twisting her hands and would not meet Anna's eyes.

Anna looked at her in some confusion. "Is something the matter?" she asked gently. "Are you all right?"

The girl took a deep breath and brushed a strand of pale blond hair out of her eyes, which were large and grey. "I- oh- yes, yes, I am. I- I just wanted to come to apologize- my mother was pretty- she was pretty rude to your husband just now, when he was getting those chairs for you. And I- I just wanted to tell you that- I'm sorry about how she treats him. That's all."

Anna smiled, though she was taken somewhat aback. "I don't think you need to worry; he didn't even mention it to me. I don't think he takes much notice. But if you wanted, you could tell him yourself."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, her face growing pale. "No- no- he- well… he scares me, a little." Her voice dropped to a whisper, and Anna grinned. The girl swallowed and went on, "But- you're right- he doesn't take much notice of her- of my mother, I mean. I don't know why my mother thinks he- I don't know why she thinks so badly of him. It's obvious that he loves you- you're the only person he ever looks at. I don't know-" She clenched her hands on her skirt nervously.

Anna bit back a burst of laughter as she imagined just what the woman's suspicions of Kratos were. "If she's paying him so much attention, I wonder if she's hoping-"

The girl flushed scarlet and Anna immediately cut herself off, silently cursing herself for not thinking of the girl's feelings. "I'm sorry," she said gently. "That was rude of me."

"It's- my mother can be hard sometimes," the girl whispered. "You've been really patient." She quickly turned as though she was about to flee.

"Wait," Anna said quickly. She still felt guilty over what she had almost said, and it was obvious that the child was unhappy. "Are you- what's your name?"

"I'm Deirdre," the girl whispered. "It's rather a strange name."

"I think it's pretty," Anna said quietly. "Are you- do you want to- come in, stay for a little?"

A look of nervousness flashed in the girl's eyes. "I- I would like to- but I probably should go back. I think my mother will want me."

Anna nodded. "Well if you want to stop by, you can." She smiled. "I wouldn't mind the company."

"Thank you," Deirdre whispered. She glanced down the street over her shoulder. "I- I really should go. But thank you- for being so- for listening, Mrs.- Evan."

Anna blinked before belatedly remembering the false name that Kratos had given some time ago. "It's all right," she said with a smile. "Don't worry about it. And you can call me Anna, you know. I don't mind."

Deirdre smiled a little before almost running off down the street back to her house. Anna remained in the doorway for some time, thinking over everything the girl had said. At last she closed the door and went back to Kratos, who was holding Lloyd in his lap. Their son was running his hands over the gem mounted on his father's left hand and seemed completely contented.

As Anna entered, Kratos glanced up at her. "Who was that?"

Anna shrugged and sat down on the bed. "The girl who lives down the street. Apparently her mother was rude to you? Although from the way the poor girl was apologizing, it sounded like the woman really insulted you."

Kratos shrugged. "I've heard worse things. It was nothing important- merely something about how I was a low person who didn't deserve a wife, let alone a home here."

"Oh that's nothing?" Anna asked sarcastically.

She was silent a moment, and reached out to smooth back Lloyd's hair. He caught her finger and began to nibble at it with his toothless gums. Kratos gently pried him away, and Anna had to smile. After a moment, she finally spoke up: "Kratos, the poor girl seems so frightened of her mother. How could any parent live with their child being afraid of them?"

"Some people crave the power that fear gives."

"That's cruel," Anna whispered, staring at Lloyd. "How could anyone look at their child and enjoy the sight of them being afraid?"

Kratos said nothing. Lloyd shrieked at the sudden quiet, and Anna noticed Kratos jump a little. She laughed. "Who knew, Lloyd? Nothing in battle can surprise him, but when his son shrieks- that's a shock he doesn't expect."

"Are you talking about me?" Kratos asked somewhat sourly.

"Who else?"

He stared at the faded blanket with troubled eyes. Confused, Anna tried to get a better look at his face. "What is it?" she asked. "What did I say?"

Kratos shrugged and turned his gaze back to Lloyd. "It's nothing important."

She glared at him. "Kratos."

For a moment, he was silent, but at last he spoke slowly, "There are some pitches of sound- some that are higher than others- those are painful to hear."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything I hear is amplified, to the point that I can hear the person walking in the street outside the house now, as well as the song they're humming. When hearing is that strong many sounds- especially sounds of a high pitch- can be painful."

Anna felt her breath catch. "And this was all part of when you became an angel?" He nodded once, and she clenched her hands. "What else happened to you?"

He shrugged. "You know most of it; it's hard for me to sleep, and I don't need to eat, though I can if I choose. Sometimes light can be painful, depending on how strong it is."

Anna swore between her teeth and received an astonished look from Kratos. She met his eyes. "I could kill Mithos for doing this to you."

"I chose to go along with his plan. He did not force me."

"Maybe. But it's because of him you had to endure that. It's because of him that I see you struggle to smile, and it's because of him that you suffered what you did." She shook her head, staring at her hands. "I can't forgive him for that. And- I can't forgive him for what he's done to so many innocents. I've only seen him once- goddess, I wish I'd done something then!"

Kratos looked surprised by her outburst, but smiled a little. "Anna, I want to keep you and Lloyd safe, which won't be easy if you decide to go after Mithos."

Anna could not hold back a laugh. "I suppose it wouldn't be. But Kratos- I'm so sorry- I didn't realize that you- you had to live with that."

He shrugged, and reached out to smooth her hair from her face. As always, his hand slid down her neck to her shoulder. "I did not tell you much. There was no reason for you to know."

Anna gave a laugh that was more of a groan. "Kratos- you married me, I'll remind you. Please- don't keep secrets like that from me; just tell me when something's wrong. I can handle it; after all I've been able to put up with you."

Kratos smiled. "If that is what you want."

She nodded. "It is."

They spent several days rearranging and working on the house, and almost three weeks later, Anna was finding it a little easier to wake and know that she need not run. For Kratos, she could tell it was harder. Many times when she woke she came to the main room to find him pacing back and forth; and it seemed to her that he was not so much afraid as he was simply unsure what to do with himself.

Finally one morning, she decided that she had had enough. Kratos was sitting at the table, drumming his hand on the wood. He inclined his head when he saw her. Anna rubbed her eyes wearily, wondering when it had become so hard to wake up in the mornings. Before Lloyd had come, she had found it easy to be alert when she rose, but ever since her son's birth she had begun to treasure her sleep more and more.

She dropped in the chair opposite Kratos, trying to focus her sleepy thoughts. A scraping sound on the table made her look up. He had shoved a mug with some dark steaming liquid towards her. A strange sharp odor came from the cracked mug. Anna glanced at him suspiciously. "What is this?"

"I think you may need it in the mornings."

"Answer the question."

Kratos gave a half-smile. "I know you need it now."

"But what is it?"

"Coffee."

Anna stared. "Why do I need this in the mornings?"

"It can help wake you up."

"It smells horrible."

Kratos shrugged and Anna carefully lifted the mug to taste it. A foul bitterness filled her mouth, and she almost choked on the liquid. Hurriedly she set the cup down, spilling some coffee on herself in the process. "That's awful," she said. "I'm not drinking that. Is this just a product of your boredom, that you're finding ways to torture me in the mornings?"

He smiled a little. "Maybe."

"Then you need something better to do. And I think I know what it should be."

Kratos raised a questioning eyebrow, and Anna rubbed her eyes again as she went on, "We should take Lloyd outside the village, maybe up to the cliffs. It'd be nice for him to meet Noishe- that is, if he's still around in the woods up there."

"He is. But why do you want to do this now?"

"Well- for Lloyd- and honestly, you too." Anna looked him in the eye. "You look like you need to get out of here a little- you don't seem very comfortable here yet, so I thought- maybe this would be a good way to sort of ease the pain a little."

He looked at the gem mounted on his hand. "I would like that. Thank you."

"All right."

She stood up as a happy-sounding shriek came from the bedroom. Kratos glanced at her in surprise. "You want to go now?" he asked.

She smiled a little and turned to fetch Lloyd. "Why not?"

The sun was high in the sky when they finally reached the top of the cliffs and made their way to the woods. Anna sat down underneath a tall tree with thick green leaves and glanced up at Kratos, who was holding Lloyd. The little boy immediately began to reach out for the branches, laughing as he did so. Anna grinned. "He likes everything he sees."

"He did not get that from me," Kratos said with a smile.

Anna laughed as the little boy lunged for one of the branches, and Kratos had to readjust his grip. "I think he'll have gotten other things from you. I was thinking about this a while ago- I think he's got your eyes."

"Perhaps," Kratos said somewhat stiffly. "I hope that's all he got from me."

"I hope not," Anna countered. "I hope he got your determination, I hope he got your courage, and I hope he got your sense of right and wrong that even hundreds of years couldn't kill off." She bit back a laugh as she saw her husband flush.

A sudden crashing noise from the north made her jump. But Kratos showed no sign of worry, and in a few seconds Noishe came bounding out of the trees. He stopped short as soon as he caught sight the child in Kratos's arms. Then slowly he stepped forward, head cocked to the side and eyes bright with curiosity.

When Lloyd caught sight of the huge green and white creature, he shrieked and hid his face in Kratos's chest. The protozoan halted, looking aggrieved, and Anna had to laugh. Scrambling to her feet, she came up to Kratos. Lloyd slowly turned his head a little, his eyes huge, and one hand clinging to his father's shirt. Kratos's face softened. "It's all right, Lloyd," he said quietly. "Noishe isn't going to hurt you." He tried to guide the little boy's hand to the protozoan's head, but Lloyd cried out again and struggled. Kratos released his child's hand, looking somewhat bewildered.

Anna laughed at the sight of both of them. "Don't worry Lloyd," she said lightly. "Watch. I can pet Noishe and he doesn't mind." She stretched out a hand to the creature's head and ran it from the top of his head to the curve of the ear. "You see?" she said gently, motioning for Kratos to come a little closer. "It's all right."

Lloyd watched her and turned a little more so he could see Noishe. Tentatively he reached out with a tiny hand. Anna gently led his hand to Noishe's soft fur. The little boy began to awkwardly make the same motions that his mother had, though he hit the creature more than he patted him. The protozoan jumped, and Anna laughed again. She glanced at Kratos, and felt her heart turn over when she saw how relaxed he looked. He seemed to feel her eyes on him, for he glanced at her. "Are you happy now?" she asked quietly.

Kratos smoothed Lloyd's thatch of brown hair and did not answer her right away. At last he answered, "Yes, Anna, I think so. It's strange-" He hesitated, and went on slowly, "It's strange to have this- a family- it's something I never thought I would want. Not even before I went along with Mithos."

Anna nodded. "It's a little strange to me too- I don't even know if I ever wanted a family- I didn't hope for much of anything when I was in the ranch. And now- now it feels like this is all there is- it's so odd-," her voice trailed off as she watched Lloyd wobble perilously as he reached for another leaf, "that now that you and Lloyd are with me- how much more beautiful everything is."

Kratos nodded. "With you and Lloyd- I have a reason to strive for something here, there is a reason for me to fight, to draw breath. And that is still new to me."

To her annoyance, Anna felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Don't make me cry," she gasped. "This was supposed to be something to get you to stop pacing around the house like a caged dog."

He laughed at that. They spent much of the day in the woods above the houses, mostly walking through the tall trees. Most of the time they were silent, taking joy in Lloyd's laughter at every new sight and sound. Noishe stayed with them for some hours before silently slipping away to wherever he hid in the woods. By that time, Lloyd had fallen asleep in Anna's arms as she sat underneath a tall tree, and both she and Kratos were ready to go back.

When they reached the house, the sky was turning red in the sunset. As they walked down the street where they lived, Anna was surprised to see Deirdre standing by the door, looking as nervous as ever. She exchanged a glance with Kratos, who was carrying Lloyd, and called the girl's name softly. As soon as they were close enough, she asked, "Are you all right? Is something wrong?"

The girl gave Kratos a nervous glance and shook her head. "No- Mi- Anna- nothing's wrong. But I- I wanted to ask you something. It's a- it's a rather strange thing, though."

Kratos gave the girl a nod and went into the house rather quickly. Anna had to hold back a laugh at how a girl's question could unnerve him. "What is it, then?" she asked lightly.

"It's- you see- I want to leave this place. I want to- this is so odd to ask- but I want to go to the city down south- and I want to be an artist there. And- well, I need- I need to practice. And I was wondering if- if perhaps I could draw a picture of your family. It would help me a lot, I think- I can draw forests and the ocean, but I'm not so good with people. You could keep the picture, if you wanted, I wouldn't need it."

Anna stared at her. It was an odd thing to ask, but she could see no harm in it. "Why us, though?" she asked warily. "Why not someone else?"

The girl turned even paler than usual and looked around. "I think- I think other people would tell my mother. And she wouldn't like that I want to try this." Her voice was almost a whisper.

Anna felt sadness for the girl. "I don't mind if you want to practice," she said at last. "But- I don't think it should be a full portrait." For a moment she floundered, trying to come up with an explanation that would not reveal that she and Kratos were fugitives who could not risk being identified. A sudden inspiration struck her and she went on, "If there's any way you could make a picture to fit this-" she lifted the chain of the locket that hung on her neck, "I'd love that. It would mean a lot."

Deirdre's brow knit. "Can I- can I see it?" Anna slipped the trinket off her neck and handed it to the girl, who took it in her slender hands.

"It'll be hard," Deirdre muttered after a moment, but Anna could see that she was starting to smile. "It'll be hard, but I think I can do it. It'll mean my using a really thin pencil to start, and I might have to use ink to sharpen the detail- I don't know if I'll be able to color it, since my paints aren't very good. But I'm pretty sure I could draw a picture to fit this. I saw some illuminations in the scriptures when I was little- I think this should be a similar technique, and I'd love to try it."

Many of the terms were outside Anna's knowledge, but she could not help but smile. "You sound like you know what you're doing."

Deirdre smiled. "I've been drawing ever since I can remember. I hope it'll turn out all right. Here." She handed the locket back to Anna. Just before turning away, she said rather shyly, "Thanks, by the way."

When Anna entered the house, her husband was leaning against the table in the main room. She glanced at him as she shut the door. "Where's Lloyd?"

Kratos smiled. "Still asleep." He looked at Anna. "So the girl wants to draw a picture of us."

Anna grinned. "Yes. She was nervous about it, but I think she'll do a good job."

"This is rather risky, you know."

She shrugged and leaned against the closed door. "It's just a picture, Kratos. It's not going to be that dangerous."

He said nothing to that, and looked lost in thought. But his eyes were calm, even happy, and Anna wondered if he was dwelling on Lloyd's smiles from that morning. With a smile of her own, Anna touched the locket that hung at her neck. If the picture turned out well, she had a very specific plan for it: one that she hoped would be able to give Kratos the same contented look in his eyes that she saw there now.


	34. A Report of Interest

**I'm sorry for how long this took: school, writer's block, and sickness are my consecutive excuses. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I'll let you guys decide its quality for yourselves. **

**andy: I've only read a handful of fics that mention how they got the picture, which I thought odd, given that it seems pretty important to Kratos. So I wanted to bring it up- though it won't come up again for a little while. Thanks as always for the support!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Glad you liked it! :)**

**CommodoreZelda13: I'm glad the quick timing of that chapter made you happy... and the content as well.**

**Snowstar of RiverClan: I was afraid I'd messed up the age/actions- it's been a while since my youngest sister was that age, so I was sort of guessing. Maybe I can blame the eye color on Lloyd's odd parentage...? Regardless, I'll try to watch what I put for everything else.**

**Own nothing.  
**

Kratos watched anxiously as his little son crawled away from him. Lloyd had become a constant source of worry ever since he had discovered that he could move himself from one place to another. Even in the small bedroom, the child found ways to put himself at risk. Now the little boy was crawling steadily towards the corner where Kratos's sword rested. Though the weapon was sheathed, it still looked threatening to the father's eyes. He thought of how he would have to explain the purpose of that weapon to Lloyd someday. From what Kratos had seen of other children, his son would probably wish to be like him, strange as that seemed to the swordsman. And he would have to somehow explain what it meant to be a fighter, and explain it in a way his child would grasp. Yet the thought of trying to teach another of those lessons after his failure with Mithos made his stomach churn with worry.

A scraping sound jolted Kratos out of his thoughts, and he was barely able to lunge forward in time to prevent Lloyd from pulling the huge weapon onto his own head. The man was just able to catch the sword; the hilt halted only an inch or so above Lloyd's oblivious head. Completely unfazed, the boy turned to his father, laughed a little, and crawled under Kratos's outstretched arm back towards the bed.

Kratos tossed the sword down and watched Lloyd grab the blankets. Slowly the boy hauled himself to a standing position, but then lost his grip on the sheets and began to fall backwards. However this time his father was right behind him and caught him swiftly. Lloyd looked shaken after that; his eyes were huge as he looked up at Kratos, who could not hold back a smile. He could feel the little boy's racing heart as he nestled into his father's chest. "You should be more careful, Lloyd," he whispered. "But I won't let you be hurt, I promise."

Yet only a few minutes later, Lloyd was squirming and trying to crawl away. Kratos set him down, a smile tugging at his lips. It was so easy for Lloyd to hurt himself, as he had proved countless times in the short time Anna had been gone. Already he was crawling away towards the doorway into the main room, and Kratos had to haul him back again. Lloyd gave a shriek of laughter as Kratos scooped him up and put him on the bed. The little boy gazed at his father with bright eyes.

Kratos sat down in front of him and looked at him closely. "You look like your mother when you smile," he said softly. "She thinks you have my eyes, but I think you'll look more like her than me." A half-smile came to his lips. "At least I hope so for your own sake." On an impulse he reached out and ruffled Lloyd's thatch of brown hair. The boy giggled and reached up to grab Kratos's hand. For a moment the man was still, caught by the sight of both little hands clenched on one of his. With some difficulty Lloyd shoved his father's hand off his head, but he did not let go, and gave such a wide smile that Kratos could not help but smile back. Lloyd looked at him very seriously and rattled off a string of syllables that Kratos could not decipher for the life of him.

He watched as the little boy shoved himself off the bed, ready to grab Lloyd if he showed any sign of slipping. But the boy successfully slid to the floor, and gave a triumphant laugh, his brown eyes squinting as he smiled. Kratos watched him crawl toward the door. It struck him that the more risks Lloyd took, the more Kratos wanted to keep him safe. "I need to find some way to protect you," he whispered to Lloyd's retreating back. "I promised that I would keep your mother safe. I promise you that as well."

He closed his eyes, and his mind went back to the book he had found in Palmacosta more than two years before. He remembered the reference to a ring clearly enough, but the texts themselves had been garbled by time. None of it made any sense. He knew far too well that Mithos had used nothing of the kind when splitting Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, but the fact that a ring had been associated with the sword in the legend was enough to make Kratos think the reference significant. At any rate, it was a faint hope that there might be something more to wielding the sword than Mithos himself.

Kratos rose swiftly at the sound of the front door opening, but relaxed when he heard Anna call out, "Lloyd… where's your father?"

"I'm here, Anna. I-" He came to the doorway of the bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks. Lloyd was sitting in the middle of a pile of flour. The lid of the small barrel Anna had kept in one of the low cabinets was beside him and the barrel itself was almost completely empty. Flour covered the little boy completely; most of his face and hair was dusted with the white powder, and the floor around him was similarly decorated.

For a long moment Kratos could only stare at him. He tried to fathom how Lloyd could possibly have opened the container, let alone wreaked such havoc in less than a minute. The little boy stared back, both his hands frozen in the pile of flour. His eyes were huge, as though he knew that he was in trouble and waiting for the consequences. Completely at a loss, Kratos took a step forward and Lloyd's face lit up with a happy smile. With a shriek, he tossed a handful of flour at his father.

Dumbfounded, Kratos stopped short. Anna's shout of laughter caused her husband to whirl on her. When she looked up at him, her laughter only grew. "How was he able to get into it without you noticing?" she gasped.

"Anna- I don't know! He was completely silent about it."

"Well now we know if he's quiet we absolutely have to check on him." She took another look at Lloyd's smeared face and began to laugh helplessly again. "I can't believe you," she said to Lloyd as she came forward and scooped him up. "How did you even get that lid off? And Kratos- were you paying attention to him at all?"

"Yes," Kratos answered shortly. "He was only out of the room for a minute or so. I can clean this, if you wish."

Lloyd clapped his hands and a cloud of flour blew in Anna's face, making her sneeze. With a grin she held the little boy out to Kratos. "No," she said firmly. "You can clean him up; I can take care of this."

As soon as Kratos took Lloyd, the boy reached up and grabbed at his father's hair with tiny flour-coated hands. Anna glanced at them both and shook her head with a serious face. "You don't look nearly as intimidating with flour in your hair," she commented. "Lloyd definitely wears the stuff better than you."

To that Kratos could think of no reply, and he was forced to take Lloyd to the small bedroom to change him. The little boy made things difficult by smiling charmingly and then shrieking every time his father tried to put the garment over his head. After the fifth attempt, Kratos was ready to give up. Lloyd took advantage of his father's frustration to lunge for the edge of the bed, and Kratos grabbed him and hauled him back. Lloyd burst into laughter as his father pulled him close. Kratos felt his breath catch as he looked at him. To see his son's smile was one of the most breathtaking sights the man could ever recall, for that smile would never have existed if not for him and Anna. Lloyd's smile might be like that of countless other children, but none of those children were his.

"You wouldn't need any help with him, would you?" Anna asked cheerfully from the doorway. The front of her dark green shirt was covered with flour from when she had picked up Lloyd, and she had a white streak on her nose and left cheek. Kratos ducked his head to hide a laugh, but she saw him anyway. "Don't grin like that," she said, dropping on the bed next to him. "I'm pretty sure I look better with the flour than you do."

"As if that was a surprise." Kratos leaned forward and kissed her for a moment. Lloyd made the touch considerably shorter by crawling onto Anna's lap and hanging onto her shoulders. With a smile, she drew back and grabbed the shirt that her husband had given up trying to put on their son.

As she drew the shirt over Lloyd's head, her face grew thoughtful. At last she said quietly, "Kratos- I spoke with Deirdre- she and a few others are making a trip to Palmacosta soon, and I think they're going to ask you to go with them."

Kratos shifted a little, keeping his eyes fixed on Lloyd as the boy crawled across the blankets to his father. "The people have taken us in with little question. If they ask me to go with them, I will have to go."

Anna nodded. "I know. I just thought it was something you should know about so you aren't completely unprepared when they ask you. I don't know how much notice they'll give."

He helped Lloyd sit upright in his lap. "When have I ever been unprepared, Anna?"

She laughed. "Well I can start with this afternoon when Lloyd was able to empty a barrel of flour without you noticing…"

Kratos looked pointedly away from her. "I think I will never hear the end of your feat today," he said dryly to the Lloyd, who was running his fingers over the crystal mounted on his father's hand.

Anna grinned. "It's too good of a story for me to let you just brush it off like it never happened." She pulled her left knee to her chest and rested her chin on it before intoning in a deep voice, "There once was a great warrior, who could fight a dozen enemies and see a shadow even before it was cast. But when he had to watch his son, who was little more than ten months- he was as clueless as any mortal."

"Clueless?" Kratos said, torn between amusement and annoyance.

Anna's brown eyes sparkled. "Can you suggest a better word?"

"Probably, but I have no desire to be mocked about this for years on end."

She laughed. "Then you're out of luck, because I'm going to make sure you don't forget it."

Some days later Aaron, who was regarded as the leader by the families who lived in the town, did approach Kratos to ask if the swordsman would accompany the group that was going to Palmacosta. The excursion was expected to take seventeen days, to allow for the week it would take to travel to the city and the week it would take to travel back. The length of time he would be away was enough to make Kratos worry, but there was no reason for him not to go. As far as he knew, they were successfully hidden. In Palmacosta he would survive as long as he drew no attention to himself, which was easy enough. It was the journey itself that gave him cause for concern.

But the trip to the city was uneventful. Apart from the occasional monster, there was no trace of Desian patrols. Indeed the entire countryside, from the bare plains to the tangled forests, was very quiet. Kratos found that worrying, though he could think of no reason for his disquiet. The city, when they reached it, more than made up for the quiet of the journey. The swordsman had forgotten how loud the place was. People were moving constantly through the streets, loudly proclaiming the high quality of their goods. As soon as the villagers had settled into one of the inns, the village's armorer went off to search for the nearest blacksmith's shop, while Aaron and the village's weaver went to the nearest street corner to begin selling what they had.

Kratos found himself standing in front of the inn with Deirdre. She looked like a lost child as she gazed at the mass of people rushing past her. For a moment he debated whether or not he should leave her to herself, but at last he turned toward her. "Do you know where you are going to stay?"

"I'm- I was going to go to the church." Her voice came out as little more than a whisper. "They'll make sure I have somewhere to stay."

The swordsman almost groaned. If she was this naïve, he did not rate her chances of survival in the city very high. "Why would they help you? Do you know them?"

Deirdre shook her head. "They know my aunt. She's- she's going to have the Chosen- at least the Church thinks she is. They sent her to Iselia when they found out she was pregnant, but I think they'll have the records of her family- and I know I have mine with me." She fumbled for the small brown satchel that hung at her side. "So I think- if I can find the cathedral- I'll be all right."

Kratos's mind was in a whirl. A member of the Chosen's family had been living alongside him and his family for almost a year. Though he could not recall anything that indicated that Cruxis had an interest in her, the connection was still jarring. He had been incredulous when Anna had told him that Deirdre was going to try to live in Palmacosta; he never would have expected the girl to be able to cope with life in the city. But now all he could think was that she had to settle here as quickly as possible. If she was able to make her own life in the city, she would be more likely to forget about the strange family that had dropped into her home village and would be less likely to mention it to strangers. At least Kratos hoped that was the case. He had to admit that he knew almost nothing about the girl herself; Anna was the one who had been friends with her and he found himself wishing that his wife was with him. He felt sure that Anna would have known how to convince Deirdre to simply be silent. But Anna was miles away, and Kratos felt that if he told Deirdre to keep quiet about himself and his family it would raise questions in her mind that were better left alone.

He was brought out of his thoughts when Deirdre took two timid steps away from him, heading in the direction of the docks. She looked more lost than ever, and Kratos felt compelled to speak. "Do you even know where the cathedral is?"

She shook her head somewhat timidly. Suppressing a sigh, Kratos turned away from her. "Follow me," he said over his shoulder. Deirdre came wordlessly, and they passed through the crowded streets to the great stone cathedral. Kratos remembered that the book that had referenced the ring was in the library of this cathedral. When Deirdre produced her family tree, one of the priests was sent to the lower levels to fetch the records of the Chosen bloodline, and Kratos followed him as unobtrusively as possible. No one noticed him slip away among the shadows of the pillars, though he waited for a minute before going down into the stairs that led to the lower levels.

As soon as he entered the first of the three small rooms of the library, he realized that he was not alone. Someone was in the recesses of the first room, hidden behind some shelves that were lined with older books. Kratos silently cursed himself for not thinking that the priest would be here to fetch the records. He was about to retreat when the figure stepped out from behind the shelf and stopped dead in its tracks. For a long moment there was silence.

At last the person stepped into the beam of light that came from one of the narrow windows that was set just above the bookshelves. "What on earth on you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," Kratos said coldly. His hand was already on his sword hilt, though he doubted a fight would do any lasting good, given his location.

Yuan snorted. "Why would I be rooting around in the bowels of this place if not for the orders of Mith- Lord Yggdrasill, I should say. Anyway, what are you doing down here? I thought for sure you'd run off with that woman of yours."

Kratos glared at him. "I believe I told Mithos that that woman died."

"You expect me to believe that she died when you've dropped off the face of the earth for a year?"

"I would hardly have told Mithos otherwise," Kratos snapped. He could not imagine what Yuan was doing in this place, though there was nothing to indicate that the half-elf's presence was anything other than a coincidence. Already he was beginning to regret coming to the cathedral at all. His glance dropped to the book in Yuan's hands, but there was no way to see the title.

Yuan's eyes followed his glance and he lifted the book with a grimace. "Mithos wants a decent history of the world- the way he wrote it, anyway. There's some kind of theological debate going on in Tethe'alla over the nature of the Chosen that he wants settled before people start asking too many questions. I think he's going to make me perform some kind of miracle or another to make sure they don't get too restive." His eyes snapped back to Kratos. "But if Anna's dead, as you said- you should want to try get some justice for her. Perhaps do what you can to bring down Mithos."

Kratos sighed. "Yuan, if you want to suggest releasing Origin, I suggest you talk to Yggdrasill. He's the one whose world you're serving. I have other things to see to."

"Such as what?" Yuan snarled. The anger in his voice was growing more apparent. "Such as Anna? I don't think she's dead, but I don't care where you're hiding her; she's not important to me. But this Regeneration journey's getting closer. When the woman in the Chosen line gives birth, it's only a matter of a few years till the journey begins." With unconscious swiftness the half-elf's hand right hand went to the ring on his left hand, and Kratos noted the movement.

"It's always been Martel for you," Kratos said after a long pause. "Martel and no one else. And yes, I am hiding Anna, and if it was only her, I might ask her to let me try to release Origin regardless of the consequence. But she is-" He stopped short. Though Yuan had been true to his promise that he would not turn them in, he was unsure if he wanted the half-elf to know about Lloyd.

"She isn't the only one?" Yuan asked dryly. "I wouldn't have thought you the kind to take more than one woman." Kratos gave him a glare that made him hurriedly amend, "All right, all right, so you don't have a lover on the side- but then who are you talking about? And I'll shave my head if you say it's that damned protozoan you care so much about."

"Now I'm tempted to say that it is Noishe," Kratos said with a hint of a smile. "But it is not. Though when Anna told me about this person, I made the same mistake you did."

"And I'm supposed to figure it out from that?" Yuan raised an eyebrow. "And what on earth is making you grin like that? Did you stop by one of the local bars on your way here?"

Kratos looked at the ground, wondering if he should go on. Strange as it was, he wanted to tell Yuan. He wanted to tell someone who had known him about his son; he wanted to see the half-elf's reaction. It was almost a matter of pride, but one that he could not indulge. He met Yuan's gaze and shrugged. "All you need to know is that there is Anna and another, and I cannot leave them."

"Anna and another," Yuan repeated. "Well, now that's explained everything, I think you may be interested to know that Kvar, that cardinal you stole Anna from, has sent in a report that you might be interested in. He's only recently recovered from a long bedrest due to being caught in a fire or something of the sort, and he's asked permission to begin hunting for the Angelus Project himself."

A chill crept into Kratos's heart. "When?"

"A few days ago." Yuan's eyes had grown very serious. "He went to Pronyma, not to me, or I would have done something sooner. I already told you that I don't want that project used to trap Martel, so make sure Anna's safe. And I don't know where you're keeping her, but if it's in the city, you may want to consider leaving. He's coming down from Asgard to this place, and he's going to be sweeping the countryside as he goes."

Kratos felt as though his heart had slowed down. "How long will it take him to begin his search?"

"However long it takes Pronyma to give him permission. And I don't think that will take long." The half-elf looked at the book in his hands. "It'll take him some time to get down here, but I don't know what his plans are. He's going to be doing this on his own, as far as I know. But he's still dangerous."

"I know." Kratos felt torn between anger and worry. This was cruel. His family deserved better than the constant fear of a fugitive life, and it made him feel helpless that he could do so little for them.

Yuan's voice cut into his thoughts. "I imagine Anna's not going to take this well."

Kratos felt his hands shaking, but from more than fear for Anna. "Lloyd," he whispered. Anna would be furious on Lloyd's account, not her own. And he felt furious with himself. His son was going to have to survive on the road. That thought hurt him far more than he had thought possible. He and Anna were going to have to provide the stability in Lloyd's life; it seemed unlikely that the boy would know any other kind.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when Yuan grabbed his shoulder. "Lloyd? Who is-"

"My son," Kratos snapped, throwing the half-elf's hand aside. "Lloyd is my son."

"Your son? Your _son_? How- that wasn't supposed to be possible! I remember what Mithos said, that we'd be free of those 'disgusting urges.' " Yuan gave a cough of laughter, but he looked stunned. "And everything that came with them. Your- you have a son… I guess I should say congratulations."

That was the last thing Kratos had expected to hear, and he gave a stiff nod. Yuan shook his head, still looking shocked. "That's- that's surprising." He gave Kratos a long stare. "And that's why you won't release Origin."

Kratos's sword was halfway out of his sheath before he had time to think. Yuan raised an eyebrow and stepped back. "I'm not going to fight you here. But Kratos, you need to keep in mind that unless you want your child growing up under Mithos's shadow, you'll have to do something about the worlds."

"I want to see my child growing up," Kratos retorted. "And it will not be under Mithos's shadow. But I do not want to lose my life when I have something to live for."

"Make up your mind which is more important," Yuan snapped. "You can't have both."

Kratos shrugged. "Anna would disagree."

"You expect her to know more about the nature of things than us?"

"I know she knows more," Kratos said calmly. "And she would say- indeed, she has already said- that there should be another way."

"What does she know of it?" Yuan's voice almost cracked. "How would she know anything about what has to be done?"

"She believes there can be another way. And even if it is wishful thinking on her part, I find it more wholesome than the facts you set before me." Kratos met Yuan's gaze. "If there is any hope of a way to defeat Mithos, I will look for it. But not on your terms."

"Only on hers," Yuan said with a bitter smile.

Kratos gave him a nod and left without further comment. He could not delay here. The journey back to the village was long, and he could not even begin to imagine how he would break this news to Anna at the end of it. For the first time he began to wonder if perhaps he should have let Anna go her own way, before she had ever kissed him, before he had begun to love her, before he had asked her to marry him, and long before they could ever have had a child.


	35. Shattered

**So tired... I hate trimester systems, they take forever to finish... but they finally did! Freshman year is done- and now I feel old. I'll stop complaining, then, and say that I owe everyone who's been reading this a huge thank-you. This story has been getting a lot of hits and a lot of favorites recently, so thank you all so much for your support. It means more to me than I can say. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Glad you liked it! The flour thing was fun- based on a real life incident when my youngest sister when she was the same age. How she did it, we still don't know.**

**andy: I did eventually recover, but it took way too long, and then I got viciously mauled by finals... which is why this took so long. **

**CommodoreZelda13: I hope what I have doesn't disappoint then- I'd hate to be the one to kill any excitement! I'm happy you like Lloyd- he's a blast to write, so I'm glad he's fun to read. **

**Snowstar of RiverClan: I'm probably going to be smacked for saying this, but I can't find any evidence in canon that Kratos and Yuan were ever best friends. Comrades at one point-certainly. Best friends- it's possible, but I can't find any evidence other than fic writers' interpretation. My writing them is just based on the way they interact in the original game/manga, with less open animosity. **

**Elias: I'm glad you liked the way it worked out! When you reviewed, I wasn't done (stupid trimesters)- but your feedback made the day of my calculus final a little better, so thanks for that! **

**Own nothing.  
**

Anna angled the locket toward the sunlight and studied the picture inside. Every detail was etched with elegance, even Lloyd's waving hand. Deirdre had done her job well. For a moment Anna studied the tiny faces. Kratos's expression would have looked stern to an outsider, but Anna felt he looked contented enough. Lloyd looked cheerful as ever, his messy hair falling in his brown eyes. It was strange to see the details of her own face beside him, since she had no mirror to compare the image to reality, but on the whole, she thought the picture well done.

A sudden banging on the door made her jump. She quickly checked to see that Lloyd was still asleep before seeing to her visitor. To her amazement, two men and Deirdre's mother were standing there. Their faces were set and grim, and Anna stared at them in confusion. "What is it?" she asked.

The townspeople looked at one another nervously. Then Deirdre's mother stepped forward with an accusing look on her thin face. "Your husband said that he dealt with the robbers that had been after us."

Anna blinked. "He did."

One of the men snorted. "Then how do you explain that there's one in the middle of town threatening all of us for killing his friends?"

"You're certain that this is one of the robbers?"

"Yes," Deirdre's mother said quickly.

At the same time, one of the men, a frail-looking old man, spoke up. "But that's not the main problem. You see- we- we knew him as a robber before. But now- now he's got other gear. We think- we think he might be a Desian now."

"A Desian," Anna whispered to herself. The mere mention of the word brought to mind the crack of the whips, the dry dust in her mouth and the lashes on her back. She closed her eyes and wrestled down the memory of her capture. Gathering herself, she looked around. "Is it just one?"

"Yes," the other man answered. "But he said that there are others coming."

Anna closed her eyes again. Every instinct she possessed was telling her to flee with Lloyd immediately. But she could not bring herself to do that. She could not leave without Kratos. And the town, small and isolated as it was, was the only place she had been able to call home. "Where is this man?" she asked.

"In the middle of the town," Deirdre's mother said impatiently. "And unless you do something, he's going to start killing us all!"

Anna clenched her hands. If the man was a Desian, it was a possibility that could not be ignored. "Why are you coming to me for this?"

That question seemed to catch the three off guard. At last Deirdre's mother said, "Your husband said he'd dealt with those people. But he didn't."

Anna rubbed her arms. "He thought he had. Think about it- it's been more than ten months since he encountered the first group, and nothing happened since. And there's nothing he can do now; he's in Palmacosta with some of your villagers because they asked him to come with them, you all know that." She sighed. She could not leave Lloyd, yet it was clear enough that the people wanted her to come to see the man for herself.

A very tense silence fell. Anna realized suddenly that these people resented her and Kratos. It was apparent in their eyes and the way they looked at her. Some part of her could understand why they looked on her and her husband with hostility- they were eight families struggling to survive, and she and Kratos had suddenly appeared, demanding sanctuary. The people here had provided it in exchange for protection. And to them it would seem that Kratos had failed to live up to his end of the bargain.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a terrified gasp from the old man. "What is that thing?"

Anna turned to where he stared and bit back a laugh. Noishe was striding down the alley as though he knew the streets as well Anna herself. "He won't hurt you," she said quickly, for all the townspeople looked disposed to run. The creature's white fur seemed to glow in the dim evening light, making him look even larger than usual. Anna watched him come and wondered with a twinge of worry why he had chosen to show himself now.

Setting that thought aside, she turned to the protozoan as he approached the house. "Can you stay with Lloyd?" she asked. The three visitors looked scandalized at her request, and she was hard-pressed not to laugh.

But Noishe growled at her. "What?" Anna asked, and immediately was conscious of the astonished stares from the townspeople. With an effort, she ignored them. "What?" she asked again. "Do you think I shouldn't go?"

Noishe growled again and shook his head. Anna glanced from him to the people watching, feeling foolish. "Look," she said at last. "I'll be back soon. I just need to see what this man is doing."

The protozoan growled again, but moved through the open door into the house. Anna looked up to see all three onlookers staring with their mouths hanging open, and felt her patience wearing thin. "Where is this possible Desian?" she snapped.

They led her to the ring of old houses that formed the center of the town. An armored man was standing in the open space, looking surprisingly relaxed for someone who had been making threats. He looked up as Anna and the others came. The top of his face was hidden by his visor, which made his smile all the more chilling. "So you brought her."

Worry began to rise and coil in Anna's stomach. Deirdre's mother spoke up fiercely. "Yes, we brought her. Is she who you were looking for?"

"Yes. This is definitely the Angelus Project."

At the sound of the name, Anna felt as though the ground had been cut from under her feet. She whirled to run back to the house, but the two townsmen blocked her path. "If you go with him, they won't hurt us," the older man whispered. "We've seen what the Desians do to people who defy them, and we're already in trouble because you've been living here."

She struck him in the face with all her might and ran to her left, dodging as the man tried to grab her arm. Since her way to the alley was blocked, she sprang up onto the porch of an abandoned house and snatched up a loose piece of wood. Striking blindly, she was able to clip the other man on the eye as he came up the steps. His friend came up close behind him, forcing Anna to retreat along the porch. As soon as her back touched the railing, she lashed out with the wood, forcing the old man to move backwards. Leaping over the rail, she landed hard and tried to run toward the alley where they had entered the square.

There was a shout from behind her, and a searing heat struck her right leg. Anna fell with a scream. Her leg felt as though it had been plunged into fire that would not stop burning. She raised herself on her elbows and saw that the cloth on the right side of her leggings had been burned away. The skin on her right thigh was blistered and turning redder with every passing second. Tears of pain blurred her vision, but she could see the Desian advancing toward her.

A snarl came from the alley behind her, and a flash of white sprang over her prone form. Anna heard a shriek and a thud as the half-elf was knocked down. She turned her head just in time to see Noishe stoop to tear out the man's throat. Horrified, she staggered to her feet and leaned against one of the houses, unable to take her eyes away from the scene. The gigantic dog-like creature lowered his jaws to the Desian's neck again. There was an audible crack. Only then did Noishe move away from the body. At the sight of his bloodstained jaws, Anna was suddenly, violently sick.

Eventually she recovered herself enough to look around. Deirdre's mother was leaning against the porch of the abandoned house, while both the men were standing on the steps. Their faces were grey and their eyes wide. Anna's eyes flickered toward the body, and she was momentarily shaken by another wave of sickness. Trembling, she bent over and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. "Why?" she croaked out.

All three people turned towards her. "Why?" she asked again, her anger suddenly rising. "Why would you turn me in? What did he tell you?" she almost screamed.

"He asked if we'd seen the Angelus Project," Deirdre's mother said quietly. Her hands were shaking, but her voice was perfectly steady. "And when he described it, we knew it couldn't be anyone else."

"But why did you tell me- why would you turn me in?"

"Why do you think this town is abandoned?" the woman shouted. She took a step towards Anna. "Why do you think no one lives here anymore? The Desians have picked us apart, taking people away every few years! And then the robbers came and then you and your husband and son just showed up demanding to stay, and then we find out now that you've been hiding the fact that you're a wanted experiment! All we want to do is live in peace!"

"If you want that, you shouldn't stay here, you should leave! But you- all of you have made everything a thousand times worse!" Anna realized she was almost screaming, and lowered her voice, though she could not hide her anger. "What do you think the Desians will do when that messenger or scout or whatever he was doesn't come back? They'll come here! They'll come here and take you all, or burn this place to the ground; I don't know what. But now that this has happened- you have to leave." Her voice shook and fell to a whisper. "You can't stay here anymore. None of you can."

"It's your fault, not ours; it's your animal! And didn't you listen to anything I said?" the older woman demanded. "We can't leave. Everyone who was fit to travel left with Aaron for that trip to Palmacosta. We're not able to travel, we're trapped."

Anna saw to her amazement that the woman was close to tears. But she could summon no sympathy for her. Turning away, she limped down the alley toward her house. Noishe silently came beside her, but Anna could not look at him. Her boots felt leaden on her feet, and her seared leg was in agony. It was not until she staggered that she let herself grab the protozoan's shoulder.

Eventually they reached the house. Anna passed through the door she had left open and shoved it closed. For a moment she listened, but there was no sound from the bedroom. "Is Lloyd all right?" she asked harshly. Noishe nodded his head, and Anna averted her eyes from him. Sliding to the floor, she began to cry hopelessly. Perhaps her hope for a normal life for her family was nothing more than an idiotic dream. Her tears fell faster, and she buried her face in her hands.

"Mama?"

Dumbstruck, Anna dropped her hands and stared at the door to the bedroom. Lloyd was there, looking sleepy. His eyes were riveted on her face, and he looked almost frightened. "Mama?" he asked again.

At the sound of him calling her by name, Anna began to cry and laugh all at once. "It's all right, Lloyd," she choked out. "It's all right. I'm- don't worry."

He crawled towards her, his brown eyes huge with worry. Anna felt her heart thud wildly and she could not hold back a smile. Reaching out, she drew him into her lap, carefully lifting him over her injured right leg. "It's all right," she whispered. "And- you're talking- you know who- oh Lloyd, you've no idea how I needed that." She pulled him close and felt him wrap his arms around her neck.

But after only a few seconds, he pulled away and looked at her with an inquisitive eye. "Mama, Da!"

Anna could not hold back a laugh. "Daddy's not here, but he'll back soon. I wish he could hear you!" She smiled, and slowly rose, leaning against the wall. "Goddess, I wish he was here," she said more softly.

Lloyd squirmed in her arms, and she set him down, trying desperately to think. "Too much at once," she commented to herself. "Lloyd talking- and, and that- oh goddess, I have to think. Should I leave now? It's clear they don't want me here." It had been almost twelve days since Kratos had left for the city, but he would not be back for five days at least. And there was no way of knowing how long it would take the Desians to discover what had happened to their scout.

When she went to let Noishe out of the house the next morning, she saw Deirdre's mother coming outside her house, a shovel in hand. The woman looked up and met Anna's brown eyes for a brief second. For a moment there was silence. At last Anna asked simply, "What are you doing?"

"Going to bury the Desian," the woman said quietly. "It's summer; we can't leave the body lying there."

Anna nodded, fighting down her disgust. "Do you need help?"

The older woman looked surprised but shook her head. There was another pause before Anna asked, "What did the Desian tell you, exactly? What did he do?"

Deirdre's mother shoved the edge of the shovel into the ground. "He told us that he was scouting for the Desians. He said that they were looking for a valuable experiment, called the Angelus Project, who was going by the human name of Anna. Then he described you- and that was when I knew who it was. I think he saw that I knew, because immediately afterward he added that anyone who was hiding her would be killed."

"I see. So you didn't-"

"It wasn't personal," the woman said bluntly. "Though I admit I wasn't sorry. I've never liked your husband, and you encouraged my daughter to run away from me and do Martel knows what in Palmacosta."

"Did you think of our son at all? What would have happened to him if I was taken with my husband gone?" Anna asked coldly.

The woman looked almost ashamed, but her eyes did not turn away. "I won't lie, he never entered my thoughts. All I wanted was for us to have some peace. We've had little enough. And you don't belong here, neither you nor your husband."

"It's not our fault that we have nowhere to stay."

The woman shrugged her broad shoulders. "Perhaps not. I don't know either of your pasts. But you two don't know what the families here have been through, and neither of you really tried to find out."

Anna could not deny the justice of that statement. As soon as she had realized that she had a home, she had savored every moment with her family, ignoring everything around her. She wondered if anything would have been different had she tried to live a little differently, if she had looked beyond her own doors.

The older woman's voice jolted her out of her thoughts. "You and your son should leave now. I don't think we'll have long before the rest come. And if you're as blameless as you say, you might as well run while you can."

"What about you and the rest of the people here?"

"We'll get by," the woman said grimly. "And if not- well, like you said yesterday- we should have gone before things came to this."

Anna nodded and turned to go back inside, but then paused. "Tell me," she said, "what is your name?"

"Louise." The woman brushed a strand of grey hair out of her eyes, and looked down the alley toward the center of town. "You should get a head start while you can," she said without looking at Anna. "I think the Desian might have communicated to his troops yesterday. He had one of the devices on him."

Anna nodded, but could think of nothing to say. Worried and deeply unsettled, she entered the house, to see that Lloyd had emptied the silverware drawer. He turned towards her with a shriek. Resignedly she moved him aside and bent to pick up the forks and spoons. "What am I going to do?" she whispered. "I want to go so badly, but we need your father with us, and I don't want to leave these people. It doesn't feel right. But I don't know what to do for them."

Noishe, who had been lying by the door, suddenly raised his head. Then he jumped to his feet and began to claw at the door, growling all the while. Anna spun towards him. "What is it?" she asked. The protozoan growled again and fixed her with a fierce eye, jerking his head toward the door.

Growing more worried with every second, Anna opened it. For an instant everything in the town seemed as usual. But then she caught a strange scent on the breeze. A jumble of shouts and screams came drifting along the wind. Smoke was gathering, and with the sea so close, the air had thickened as though it had been curdled. Anna caught a glimpse of red flames in the northward section of the town. Suddenly there was an explosion from that area, muffled by distance. A large grey cloud billowed toward the center of the town, and several of the houses that faced that open space caught fire.

Anna ran back indoors. Though their house was not on the center of town and on the opposite side of the explosions, it was only separated from the space by three abandoned buildings. She did not let herself think how little time there was. Instead, she scooped up Lloyd, grabbed a long knife and a small sack of coins from their hiding place under a loose baseboard, and slipped out of the house.

Noishe was in the alley, barking frantically. The smoke was much thicker now, clogging the air and making it difficult to breathe. It was hard to see from one house to the next, and the alley suddenly seemed narrow and threatening. Anna concentrated on the white glow of the protozoan as he led her toward the cliff path where she and Kratos had first entered the town so many months before. She could feel Lloyd quaking, and she did not think it was just from his coughs. He felt heavy in her arms, and she already was beginning to feel tired. The thought of walking up the cliff with him only seemed to make the weariness worse.

From ahead of them, Noishe gave a sudden, urgent bark. Anna looked up to see him pacing back and forth several yards ahead. She had never seen him look so frantic before, and tried to hasten her steps. Then the world seemed to collapse all around her with a deafening burst of sound.

Wood, ashes, and metal sailed through the air. Anna was knocked off her feet and immediately curled her body around Lloyd, trying desperately to shield him from whatever was happening. She could hear nothing but the ringing in her ears, but she could feel Lloyd clinging to her. For what seemed hours there was nothing but falling fragments of houses, furniture, and rocks. A hot metal fragment sliced across her cheek, tearing a cry from her throat that she felt rather than heard.

Slowly the sights began to have sounds to them. Anna could hear Noishe barking from a distance, and could hear a steady sound that grew nearer and nearer. After several heartbeats, she realized it was the sound of footsteps. Terrified, she raised her head, keeping her arms wrapped around Lloyd, who clung to her. It dawned on her that he was crying, that he had been crying, and that till then she had been unable to hear any of it.

A low chuckle slithered through the smoke. "So there you are. I was afraid one of the fools I have for soldiers might have killed you with the blasting." The voice came from beyond the charred segment of wood that had once been the north wall of Anna and Kratos's home. A tall figure stepped around the blackened timber, and Anna felt her blood alternately boil and run cold.

Kvar's slanting eyes looked down at her with hatred so vicious that she turned her shoulder to keep Lloyd from his eyes. Even as she watched him, and he her, she realized that the Desian no longer saw her as an experiment gone wrong. The dispassionate gaze of a supervisor was long gone, replaced by the hate of a mortal enemy. "Do you enjoy this, A012?" he asked, and waved a hand at the ruins that had once been an intact, if deserted town. "I thought you, of all people, would appreciate what fire can do." His eyes flashed, and Anna remembered the fiery tent she had left him in the night Lloyd had been born.

"Stupid of you," she whispered. "Since it was only by luck that it didn't kill me just now."

"True. But I don't question luck, A012. Not anymore."

Anna staggered to her feet, and nearly fell down again. Her head was still spinning from the shock of the explosion. But she remained upright and began to retreat, wondering if she had any chance of landing the Desian a crippling blow with her knife. Given that she was carrying Lloyd and barely standing, she rather doubted it.

Kvar seemed in no hurry to attack her, though he moved forward as steadily as she moved backward. "Do you know why I think you were allowed to escape me that night, A012? So you can learn once and for all that no matter how many times you run, you will never be anything more than the Angelus Project. All our scout needed to find you was that term."

"And he gave a description of me, and my human name," Anna choked out. "Say what you like, I'm more than the Angelus Project. Even your man yesterday had the sense to know that."

The black slits of the Desian's eyes took on a dangerous glint. He raised the long staff he carried in his right hand and leveled it towards her. But then he suddenly frowned and whirled away from her with a shout of "Not here, you worthless-"

He cut himself off and dove to the side just as another explosion ripped into a house that was only a few yards to the east, on Anna's right. Smoke and flames blasted all around, blocking Kvar from her vision and making the air even harder to breathe. Anna staggered away, hoping she was going towards the southward edge of town. If she could make it that far, she could find the cliff path. But with the curdled air and the rubble all around, it was nearly impossible for her to see where she was going.

Noishe suddenly loomed out of the smoke and quickly crouched beside her. Anna realized that he meant for her to get on his back, and did so. Clutching Lloyd with one hand, she held the protozoan's shoulders with the other, and they set off. It was clear that the weight of two people was hard on the creature, especially as they came to the cliff path itself. Slowly Noishe made his way up the trail and into the woods. He paused once, as though to catch his breath, and Anna slipped off his back. Setting Lloyd on the ground by Noise's forepaws, she ran to the edge of the forest. Far down the path, but approaching rapidly, was a squadron of Desians. The town at the base of the cliffs was covered in smoke, with red flames flickering here and there in the reek. There was nothing she could do there now.

Feeling numb, she ran back to Noishe. Scooping up Lloyd, who had begun to whimper, she clambered onto Noishe's back, and they set out again. Anna had no clear idea where they were going; all she knew was that they were not going fast enough.

Five minutes later, they were spotted. She glanced back to see the Desians running through the trees on either side of the dirt path. Though Noishe was doing his best, it was evident trekking up the cliff had tired him. Anna glanced down at Lloyd as he trembled in her arms, and a desperate thought came to her. At one point the path looped around a huge tree, which cut them off temporarily from the Desians' view. When they rounded this, she told Noishe to halt, and slid off his back. Placing Lloyd firmly on the animal's shoulders, she took his hands and grasped them in the animal's fur. "Hold on," she whispered. "Hold on tight, and don't let go, no matter what. Can you do that for me, Lloyd?"

He looked at her with huge eyes. Anna realized that she was almost weeping, though whether from the smoke or the sight of her son was impossible to tell. "Noishe, find Kratos," she whispered. "Keep Lloyd safe. Now hurry up!"

She whirled away from them and drew her dagger, waiting for the first Desian to appear in the trees. No matter the cost to herself, she was not going to let Lloyd fall into their clutches.

The first Desian came stumbling on the north side of the path, swearing as a low branch snapped in his face. Anna drew her dagger and moved towards him as swiftly as her aching leg could manage. The half-elf smiled when he saw her, and began to draw his sword.

That was when someone seized Anna by the shoulder and threw her backwards so hard that she fell. She barely had time to see the dark blue coat and realize that somehow Kratos had come for them before he had cut down the Desian and turned back to her. He looked as though he was about to say something, but then three more armor-clad warriors came crashing through the trees, and he spun around with a snarl of "Anna, get out of here, now!"

She stumbled back towards Noishe, almost sobbing with relief. She did not turn around when she heard the clanging swords behind her and heard the gasps of the dying men. As soon as she reached Lloyd and Noishe, she grabbed her son in her arms and held him close. All she wanted to do was hold him and cry, but she knew that it was not time for that yet. The child looked terrified, and she knew she had to be strong for him, at least for a little while.

A touch on her shoulder made her realize that the battle had ended, at least for now. Anna found herself unable to speak as she looked at Kratos. His face was pale and his clothes torn, and the look in his red-brown eyes was terrifying. She knew him well enough to see that he was furious with her for trying to face the Desians on her own, but she also knew him well enough to know that he would not speak about it yet. "We need to leave," he said quietly. "Are you able to go now?"

She nodded. Kratos reached out for Lloyd and Anna could not help but smile when she saw how their son clung to him. Kratos did not smile himself, but his eyes softened a little. "Are you able to walk?"

"For a little, yes. But I don't know for how long."

"Go as long as you can. We need to convince Kvar that you and I are going south. When you cannot go anymore, get on Noishe."

"Where will we go then?" Anna whispered.

"Back north. Hopefully Noishe can obliterate the traces when we turn around."

The protozoan gave a faint sigh, and Anna smiled wearily. They set out and traveled for the rest of the day. But Anna could not remember much of the journey. Trees and rocks passed by as though in a dream. Her limbs grew weaker with every passing hour, and all she wanted was to rest and grieve. She wanted to cry unashamedly, for a long time, and wanted Kratos to hold her while she did so. But under the hot sun and on the open road, she knew that that was impossible.

It was not until sunset, when they came a small hollow hidden from the road by a lone boulder, that Kratos allowed them to stop. Anna fell to her knees, shaking uncontrollably. She felt as though her rationality had been shattered in one of the explosions. Numbly she watched Kratos spread his dark cape and place a sleeping Lloyd gently on top of it. At the sight of her son's peaceful face, she felt tears springing to her eyes. But she held them back until Kratos knelt beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. At that, she did begin to cry unashamedly, the sobs tearing out of her raw throat like coughs. Even when Kratos put his arms around her, she could not stop.


	36. Looking at the Stars

**I have several excuses for the delay, but they're all rather lame. I'm so sorry for the wait!**

**CommodoreZelda13: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!  
**

**AngelofaWhiteNight and EternalChild: Louise definitely had more flaws than virtues... but the sad truth is that not everyone can be magnanimous or courageous, especially given the position she and the others were in. And yeah- again, I'm really sorry for how long this took. **

**Elias: I have the subtlety of a sledgehammer when it comes to showing details like Kratos and Anna's lack of interaction with the people. I wish I'd been able to convey that aspect of their lives better, but hey, I'm glad you liked it.  
**

**andy: Glad you liked it! I'm not evil enough to pull a capture twice- though I do have other things planned. But I hope you enjoy what's here!**

**Snowstar of Riverclan: Short? Word-wise that was my second longest chapter! Really! :)**

**Own nothing.  
**

Anna was eventually able to tell what had transpired in the small town, and all she told made Kratos feel the futility of their position. Kvar was not going to linger when he realized that Anna and Lloyd had fled the town. The only hope they had was to buy themselves time by throwing him off the trail. And even with the borrowed time, it was hard to think what was to be done. It struck Kratos that if he had not left, he would have been able to perhaps fend off the Desians. But had he been seen by Kvar, it would have been impossible to evade Mithos for long. In a way, they had been lucky. But Kratos knew he could not say that to Anna. He tried to imagine what she must feel, having seen her home completely destroyed, and knowing that she was partially the cause.

She looked straight at him as if she had read his thoughts. "What should we do?" she asked. "Are we just going to leave those people? And what about the ones you went with to the city? They won't know what's happened."

"We can't go back to them. We have to leave this area as quickly as we can. Asgard might be the best destination, since it is the closest town apart from Palmacosta."

Anna stared at him. "But how can we leave knowing that those people have just had everything taken from them? It was our fault- at least it wouldn't have happened if not for us!"

"What can we do to make it right, Anna? If we do not go back, they will think us dead and be content with despising our memory. If they see we are alive, anger alone might cause them to betray us. They were willing to turn you in on nothing but a vague resentment."

She bit her lip and looked at the ground. Kratos noted the scratches and streaks of ash on her arms and face. There was a deep thin cut on her right cheek, and he put his hand out to heal her. She sighed as the spell knit the skin back into place and caught his hand to her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. Tears began to brim in her eyes again, and she swallowed them back before continuing, "How did you come so quickly?"

"I met Yuan in the city. He told me that Kvar had decided to begin the hunt for you himself. When I heard that, I told the other villagers that I had to go back to you, and then left."

"What did they make of that?"

"They were not happy about it, but none of them argued."

"I imagine they wouldn't." She rubbed her arms. "But Kratos, how can we just let them come to that destruction without warning them?"

"What would going to them do other than give them more reason to resent us?" Anna sighed, and Kratos smoothed back her hair and caressed her face gently. "I do not want to see you and Lloyd in more danger than you are already in. And going back will only raise the chances that the Desians will be able to track us."

"But if we just leave those people not knowing- that doesn't feel right at all."

"Blindly going to something that you know to be dangerous because it 'feels right' is not courage," Kratos retorted. "And on that subject, why did you decide to face the Desians head-on by yourself? That first one alone could have destroyed you long before you were even in striking distance."

"It was better than both me and Lloyd being killed," she snapped.

"And you thought it was a choice between that and blindly throwing yourself at the Desians?"

Anna's lips twitched. "Well, what would you have done? Actually- you could have done almost anything better than what I did. But there wasn't much I could think of. Noishe was stumbling, and they were catching up. There wasn't anything else I could do."

Kratos took both her hands in one of his, wondering how to make her understand a little of what he had felt when he had seen her stumbling toward the Desian. "Anna, if you want to learn how to fight I can show you how to fend off pursuit. But the way you chose would have resulted in your death or capture. There are other ways for you than merely throwing yourself at an enemy."

A thin smile touched her lips. "I feel like I'm usually the one who has to tell you something like that. It sounds better when you say it though."

"Anna, be serious. I want to see you safe, I do not want to lose you."

"I know," she said quietly.

She pulled one of her hands free and placed it tentatively on her husband's shoulder, as though to reassure herself he was there. Kratos drew her close, feeling the unevenness of her breathing and the beat of her heart. To simply know that she was alive and that she was with him was enough for him to resolve again that somehow he would end this madness that ruled their lives, even if he had to die to do it.

For a moment they were both silent. At last Kratos looked up at the darkening sky. "We cannot stay here any longer. We need to turn now and go north. And I do not think we can take any road, we have to go along the coastline on the westward side of this continent and strike inland when we have gone far enough north. Otherwise, we run the risk of encountering Kvar and his patrols."

"So we're just going to leave those people? Just like that?"

"Yes, assuming you still want to stay out of Kvar's hands."

Anna groaned. "Do you not feel anything about those people coming back and finding their homes completely destroyed? You didn't see what happened there, Kratos!"

Kratos tried to make his voice gentle, but his question sounded cold even in his ears. "What can we do there? Can our apologies mend their homes and give those people peace again?"

She whirled away from him, her hands shaking. "How can you be so distant from it?"

"Because your safety and Lloyd's is more important to me than trying to ease the feelings of people who were willing to turn you in because of fear."

Anna's shoulders tensed and her hands clenched. "I- I just wish there was something we could actually do about it," she whispered. "I know there's nothing. But there should be. Goddess, I wish there was something we could do."

"We can keep our child safe," Kratos said. "He is the one we need to care for, Anna."

She nodded. "You're right. We- he's the reason we keep running." She knelt beside Lloyd and smoothed back his hair with a gentle hand. "I hope he'll be all right," she whispered. "Those explosions- I really hope he'll be all right."

Lloyd stirred, but did not wake. Anna looked down at him, and her eyes filled with tears again. "He can talk now," she said, glancing up at Kratos. "At least- well, he knows 'Mama' and 'Da.'"

She stepped back so Kratos could lift their son. Noishe rose with a heavy sigh. Anna looked at the rocky ground that lay to the west and her shoulders slumped a little. "How long will it take to get to Asgard from here?"

"At least a week. We should go as long as you can tonight."

They left the hollow and struck west across a barren rocky plain. In the distance was a small line of trees that wound its way around the base of a lump of grey rock. If they reached the trees, they would be out of sight of the road. Kratos wondered if anyone lived in that expanse of woods. It was not out of the question, and he hardly knew whether or not to hope for it. They would need food at the very least, but if there were people in the area, there was always a chance the Desians would be nearby.

After some minutes they came within the belt of trees. For almost two hours they walked north, remaining in the shadow of the trees. The sound of their footsteps crunching on the pine needles sounded loud to Kratos's ears. Anna's breathing was ragged, but she did not sound as though she was battling tears. Suddenly he foothills of the mountains loomed to the right of them, making the night in the trees even darker than usual. But to the east near the base of the hill was a faint golden glow.

Kratos halted and stared hard through the sparse trees. He was fairly sure he could see the outline of a small house against the sloping surface of the hill. But the size of the light gleaming from the place was worrying. It looked as though it was streaming from an open door rather than a window, but he could hear no voices either inside or outside the cottage.

Anna halted beside him. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." Kratos handed Lloyd to her. "There's a house- there may be someone there. But I want to investigate it first."

She nodded and cradled Lloyd in her arms. "Stay safe," she whispered. "I'll be here."

He kissed her and moved forward slowly. As he drew near, he could see that the door of the cottage was ajar. The light from inside was steady, and did not flicker. He knocked against the door frame softly at first, then more loudly. There was no sound from within. Keeping a hand on his sword, he opened the door.

There was only one room in the place, and it was in complete disarray. It looked as though the owner, whoever it had been, had packed hastily and fled. Kratos wondered if someone had given him word about the approaching Desians. The house was hidden from the road by the sloping hill, but it was close enough that the person who owned the place might have seen the Desians and decided to leave. There was no evidence of a struggle. A lantern burned brightly on the table, and the lone chair was shoved back. Clothing was hanging out of the small dresser in the corner and there were packages of food lying below where they had fallen out of a small cupboard.

On the whole Kratos found the place unsettling. But as far as he could sense there was no sign of immediate danger. He checked the level of oil in the lamp, and found it was growing low. It must have been burning since sundown, so the person must have fled sometime after that.

After checking under the bed, which was the only possible hiding place, he went back to his family and led them to the cabin. Anna shivered when she saw the room. "What do you think happened here?" she asked.

"My guess is that the owner somehow saw the Desians coming, and fled."

"How would he see them?"

"If he went up the hill behind this house, he would have a clear view of the road, and he might have seen the Desians."

Anna laid Lloyd on the bed. "Are we past the town now?"

"I think we're a half-mile or so north and west of it."

She nodded and stared down at the floor. "At least- do you think we should take some of the things here?"

"I don't think we have a choice."

Anna nodded again and passed a shaking hand over her eyes. Kratos watched her for a moment before coming beside her. She glanced up at him and stood slowly. "I'm all right," she said quietly. "Just tired." Sitting down in the chair, she stared at the now-flickering lantern. "You said once that I only saw what I wanted to see in the world. I guess you were right. I never would have thought those people would turn us in."

"I know you did not. I'm sorry, Anna, that I was not there."

A ghost of a smile touched her lips. "Don't be. That wasn't your fault. Just bad luck."

Kratos watched her for a moment. Her face was drawn, and the sadness in her eyes was so foreign to her that Kratos felt as though he was seeing a different person. He felt it would be a long time before he saw a smile reach her eyes again.

With startling swiftness, she raised her head to look at him. "So do we leave tomorrow?"

"Yes. From what Yuan told me, Kvar will continue to sweep south. If we go north, we will have a little time. And we can hide in Asgard, or near it. It's well-populated enough that we could stay for a while."

"But not forever." There was no particular intonation in her words, but Kratos felt more sorrow for her than he had when she had wept. Unable to think of anything to say, he took one of her hands in both of his.

For a long time they remained still in the flickering lamplight. When the flame finally sputtered and died on its tiny wick, Kratos began to loosen his grip on her hand. Then he became aware that her fingers were growing cold between his hands. Anna drew a shuddering breath. "Don't go," she whispered. "It's- please, I think it's starting again. The exsphere, I mean."

Kratos knelt in front of her, and felt her arms. Her flesh was growing clammy, and a sweat was breaking out on her forehead. She was beginning to quiver now, as though she had a fever, but her entire body was growing icy to the touch. Her left hand was at her chest, and she gasped suddenly. "Oh goddess. Kratos, the thing is burning. It's like someone's stuck a hot coal in my chest."

"Anna, stay calm," he said as softly as he could manage. "It feeds off your stress. If you can keep from panicking, it will die down eventually. Your particular exsphere- it seems to have stages of dormancy. The events of today must have made it active."

"Wonderful," Anna gasped. "Well, Kvar would be happy anyway."

Her left hand clawed at her chest, and Kratos caught it swiftly. "You can fight this, Anna. Breathe slowly, and the pain will go down. If you can fight your worry, it will have nothing to feed on, and consequently fall back into a state of dormancy. I know how badly it hurts, but stay still." Keeping both her hands tightly between his own, he smoothed back her hair. "It will end."

She closed her eyes and nodded. After a moment she whispered, "How did you know this helps? It's a less painful now."

"When I became an angel, I had to ingest a mineral to be able to work magic. It had a similar effect of burning, though not as concentrated as your exsphere."

At that, her eyes flew open. "You mean it was more spread out. Good goddess, Kratos, what were you thinking?"

He laughed quietly. "At the time, my thoughts were not very clear."

"Apparently not," she muttered. "Not that I'm going to complain too much. I don't know whether to be glad I was able to meet you, or be furious you had to go through that at all."

Drawing a deep breath, she began to relax her shoulders. "It's over- at least the worst of it is. I'm really tired, though. It's still sucking my energy- only a little, but I can feel it." Clenching Kratos's hands, she began to rise slowly. He guided her to the bed, and she huddled between Lloyd and the wall, slipping her left arm over her son. Tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away. "Goddess, I hate this," she whispered.

She adjusted her grip as Lloyd stirred in his sleep. "At least he's a good sleeper," she whispered. "It's going to be so hard for him while we travel. Kratos, we have to get somewhere quickly. He's only got this set of clothes, and I don't know how long that'll last. And we have practically nothing."

"You brought the money we had hidden, and I have a little with me as well. We can find something. For now, you have to rest."

For the first time that night, she smiled with real warmth. "Kratos, have I told you that I love you?"

"Not today," he answered quietly.

As soon as she had fallen asleep he went outside the house and sat with his back to the wall. Noishe hobbled towards him, and Kratos realized that he was favoring one of his paws. He reached out to heal the creature, who gave him a reproachful look. Kratos raised an eyebrow. "My wife and child have priority over you, you know."

At that Noishe gave a low growl that could have been a laugh. For some hours they remained there, watching the night. A rabbit stirred in the shadows of the trees, and Noishe rose to follow it, attempting to look innocent. Kratos let his gaze rise to the sky. As he looked at the clustered stars, half-forgotten stories and images rose in his mind, about how those set in the sky were heroes, or people who had suffered far beyond what they deserved. For the first time, he felt curiosity about those legends, wondering about their details and how they had come to be. He was fairly sure that Mithos had not crafted them; something about the fragments of memory seemed older than even the falsehoods of Cruxis.

"Da?"

A sleepy voice broke into his thoughts. Lloyd was standing in the doorway, and his eyes brightened as his father came towards him. Carefully Kratos lifted his son and walked back to where he had been sitting. "You should be asleep, you know that, Lloyd?"

Lloyd only giggled and hugged Kratos tightly around the neck. He now looked wide-awake, and Kratos sighed, though he could not hide a smile. "Not that it matters much, I suppose. Your mother needs to rest."

For a moment they were both quiet. Kratos settled Lloyd securely on his lap, hoping that Lloyd would fall asleep again. When the boy leaned back against his chest, he had some hope, but Lloyd shattered it by waving his hands above his head. "Da!" he shrieked. "Da! Da!"

"Sh. What is it?" Kratos tried to see what Lloyd was looking at, and realized that the little boy was not looking up at him, as he had first thought. The child's attention was fixed on the sky, and his brown eyes were wide, reflecting the stars. A look of awe was on his face.

"Those are stars, Lloyd," Kratos whispered. "Stars."

"Sta," Lloyd repeated proudly.

"Close enough. Stories have been told about them, but not many I remember." Kratos looked up and a picture rose in his mind overlaid on a line of three bright stars that hung almost over their heads. There were the faint stars at odd angles to the belt- though why he connected the three bright stars with a belt was a mystery to the swordsman. His eyes traced the angle again and then he remembered clearly: a sword, a bright belt, the strong stance of a warrior in battle. "Do you see that figure there, Lloyd? That is a swordsman, a warrior, in the sky."

"Wa- ee-ah," Lloyd said thoughtfully. But it was clear he did not quite understand the word.

Kratos smiled and leaned back so his son could see the sky more easily. "I'll tell you his story when you're older, I promise." It did not matter to him at that moment that he could think of no story connected with the figure; there would be time enough for that when Lloyd was actually of an age to demand a story. Until then, they could both be content with looking at the stars.


	37. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

**Ok, next chapter! And I can't really think of anything interesting to say up here, so on to the reviews!**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I have a feeling an exsphere would be really unpleasant. I'm glad you liked the stargazing!**

**andy: I'm glad you liked that interaction. And yes, at that time, Lloyd was a little less than a year old.  
**

**Elias: I'm glad you liked the difference between them there- I liked writing that part for some reason. I'm happy you liked the end, I had fun with that.**

**CommodoreZelda13: I know what you mean about the feelings thing- I think I fall into that because I keep wanting to rewrite this entire story every time I work on it now, and it makes it hard to concentrate. I'll try and work on that. Thanks for saying the writing's gotten better- after 100,000+ words, I'm glad that at least it's improving a little :)**

**Shockwolf: Pen name change, huh? I'm glad you like Lloyd- he's a lot of fun to write!**

**Own nothing. **

"Mommy! Mommy! Chase me more!"

"Oh, Lloyd, no," Anna gasped, dropping to her knees outside the tiny house nestled on the outskirts of Asgard. "Honestly, sweetheart, I'm too tired." She watched her son run to the fence that bordered the tiny yard at the back of the house. Though he was only two months away from his second birthday, he was already a good talker. And a good runner.

Lloyd's bright brown eyes glinted in the light, and Anna wondered with faint misgivings what he was planning. She had her answer when he sprawled on his hands and knees and tried to crawl under the fence. Wearily she got up and pulled him back, but not before the little boy's hands and face were smeared with dirt. He laughed aloud when she scooped him up, and she could not help but laugh herself. "Where do you get this much energy?" she asked.

Lloyd laughed and grabbed the side of her face with dusty hands. Anna smiled and walked slowly back to the house. Though she had spent less than ten minutes chasing her son, she felt as though she had run a mile. The exsphere in her chest was growing hot at the edges, just where it was embedded in the skin. Her arms and legs suddenly felt limp, and she staggered as she climbed up the two back steps. Carefully she set Lloyd down and leaned against the wall. The exsphere's attacks on her body had been occurring more and more frequent ever since they had fled from Kvar almost a year before.

She looked around the little kitchen. The room was sparsely furnished and very clean, with many windows to let in the sunlight. Reddish evening light now streamed through the windows and the back door. Anna sat down in the doorway, looking out at the sky. A bird with red wings and a black body gave a strange shrieking call and lighted on the fence in the backyard. Anna watched it for a moment, noting the sharp turns of its head and the glitter of its eyes.

"Mommy!"

The blackbird sprang away from the fence with a startled cry. Lloyd staggered up beside Anna and sat heavily. "That!" he said firmly, pointing toward the creature, which was flying away over their heads.

"It's a bird, Lloyd. Isn't it pretty?"

Lloyd cocked his head to the side in a way that made Anna think of the bird itself. "Pretty?" he repeated.

"Nice to look at. See, isn't it pretty flying away?"

"Pretty!" Lloyd shouted as the bird swooped down once and flew behind them over the house.

Anna grinned. "It's a bird, Lloyd, and yes, it is pretty."

He looked at her with a wide smile. "Mommy pretty?"

"Yes, she is."

Anna started, but Lloyd jumped with a cry of "Daddy!"

He ran and hugged Kratos around the knees. Anna could not hold back a smile as she turned around. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked. "I never heard you come in."

Kratos, who was standing just inside the front door, lifted Lloyd and stood behind her at the back door. "Not very long. One of the people I was going to teach had to cancel his session because he was sick, so I could come early."

"I'm glad." Anna leaned her head against the doorframe and looked out at the setting sun. "Kratos," she said after a moment, "do you think it's safe for you to be teaching people how to fight? If someone hears about a mysterious sword teacher in Asgard- with your description, it's possible-"

"That the wrong person could hear. But I have to make a living somehow." He set Lloyd down and watched him run across the yard to where Noishe was sleeping. The little boy grabbed one of the huge ears sharply, and Anna rose to her feet. But the protozoan merely gave a resigned sigh and slowly got up with Lloyd clinging to his neck. When the boy finally let go, the creature gave him a lazy swipe with his front paw. Lloyd giggled and latched onto the creature again.

Kratos touched her arm. "He's fine, Anna. Let them play for a little while."

Something in her husband's voice made Anna sit down again. "Kratos, what is it?"

"How well do you think Lloyd can travel?"

Anna caught her breath. "I don't know. He'd be good- but he's not even two yet, Kratos. Do we have to leave here now?"

"If we do not get you a key crest soon, Anna, your exsphere may devour you altogether. You said the attacks from it have been growing more frequent. And we don't have time to wait. Kvar's troops have swept this entire continent and they're returning to his ranch now. This may be our only chance to get…"

Anna sighed and looked out at Lloyd. "Kratos, I'm not trying to cut you short, but can we talk about this later? It's just that- well- Lloyd never gets to see you, and since you could come home early today, you should spend the time with him." She grinned. "And if you want to talk about cheerful subjects like my exsphere consuming me, then I promise we can talk tonight after Lloyd's in bed." She kissed him and then rose to join Lloyd, who had left off tormenting Noishe and was turning a rock over in his hands.

She sat next to him. "What do you have Lloyd? Is that a rock?"

He looked up at her. "It pretty?"

"Well…" Anna took the rock and scraped away at the dirt surrounding it. Under the dust the stone was white, and it gleamed as she turned it toward the light. Lloyd reached out for it. He had to take the thing in both his hands. "Yes, Lloyd," she murmured with a smile. "Yes, it is pretty."

Her son held the rock for a long moment before slowly rising to his feet and toddling towards Kratos, who was still sitting on the steps. "Daddy, it pretty," he said with a smile.

Kratos stared the stone Lloyd had placed in his palm. "It's a rock, Lloyd. But I suppose you could say it is pretty."

Lloyd looked at him for a moment, and Anna stifled a sigh. Kratos raised his head, and his eyes met hers questioningly. She held back a groan. "Be more enthusiastic about it!" she whispered.

She had an urge to laugh at the look Kratos gave her. Lloyd gave his father another long look, and a happy smile lit up his face. "Daddy pretty!" he announced loudly.

Kratos looked so dumbfounded that Anna burst out laughing. As soon as she regained her breath, she gasped out, "Yes, Lloyd, I suppose you could say that."

"Anna!"

"You're going to deny it? But he's absolutely right."

"Daddy pretty!" Lloyd repeated more loudly, throwing himself at his father.

Kratos scooped him up and sat him down on his lap. "You're saying that because you know it makes your mother laugh," he said with a faint smile. "You don't know what you're actually saying, do you?"

Lloyd only laughed and waved his arms. Anna grinned and sat down on the step below them. Kratos ruffled Lloyd's hair gently, and Anna felt her heart turn over at seeing how contented he looked. She leaned back against Kratos's legs and closed her eyes for a moment, letting the warm sun play over her face. She heard Lloyd say in a cheerful, matter-of-fact voice, "Daddy, I love you," and felt Kratos tense all over before he answered softly, "I love you too, Lloyd." Her husband's voice was very quiet, but Anna could sense how moved he was. Until the sun sank, the three of them remained together, sitting quietly on the back steps.

When darkness finally fell, Kratos shifted Lloyd in his arms. The little boy looked up sleepily, and Anna stood with a smile. "I have to clean you up," she muttered, tracing Lloyd's dirt-streaked face with her finger. She looked up at Kratos. "Come on. He's really tired; he's been running around all day."

As she washed Lloyd's face with a damp cloth, he began to squirm. Anna sighed. He liked baths well enough, as she knew from several splash-filled nights, but he hated being scrubbed. But this time, Kratos was holding him, and he pinned Lloyd's hands in one of his. "Lloyd," he said in a very firm voice, "Stop. Let your mother wash you, and don't fight her."

Lloyd's eyes widened, and Anna bit her lip to keep from laughing. "That was terrifying," she muttered as she concentrated on dirt that was caked on Lloyd's temple. "But effective. Is that how most fathers discipline their children?"

Kratos looked uncomfortable. "It depends on the person."

Anna looked at him for a moment before turning back to Lloyd, who was beginning to squirm again. She sighed. "Kratos, is there any way you can distract him?"

"How?"

"I don't know… can you talk to him, or something? Just till I can get him clean?"

Her husband sighed and bent his head thoughtfully. Then he leaned forward a little. "Lloyd, do you know about the land in the sky?"

Anna stared, but Lloyd looked up. "What's in sky?"

"In the sky there are people who used to live on this world. One of them was a queen who lived a long time ago. Once she had a cat put out of her palace because it was dirty, like you."

"Not dirty," Lloyd muttered stubbornly. Anna ran her hand through his hair and bits of dust and leaves fell on Kratos's jacket. She grinned at the annoyed look Kratos gave her, and quickly lifted Lloyd off his lap to change his clothes.

"So go on," she said as she slid a soft blue shirt over Lloyd's head. "You have me interested now. What happened to this queen who threw out her cat?"

Kratos gave her an odd look. "Anna, Lloyd is barely listening at this point."

She glanced down and saw that the little boy was rubbing his eyes and blinking. Even as she watched him, his head slumped back against her chest, and he was sound asleep. Anna grinned and smoothed back his ruffled hair. "So it would seem. But I'm still listening."

As soon as Lloyd was in bed, she came back to the kitchen and sat down on the table. "So are you going to continue the story?" she asked with a smile.

The look Kratos gave her told her that that was not going to happen. Anna sighed and looked at the floor. "All right, then. Why did you ask about whether or not Lloyd could travel?" She swallowed. "Are you thinking about leaving soon?"

"We've been here too long, Anna. Believe me, the only reason we've been able to escape as long as we have is that we have been constantly on the move. I've been thinking about why Mithos has put so little effort into pursuing us, and the only conclusion I can come to is that he has been concentrating on the birth of the Chosen. But now that she's just been born, he is going to turn his attention to us."

Anna thought about that. Some little girl somewhere had been born to die. Gripping the edges of the table tightly, she looked straight at Kratos. "Do you have any proof he's looking for us?"

"I don't want to wait to find out what he's planning, Anna. Kvar is pursuing you for your exsphere, and I think Cruxis has already begun a search for me. I overheard two people today talking about how some people near Hima have begun to see visions since the Chosen was born. Visions of angels descending on earth."

"And you think that they're coming for you?"

"As far as I know, Mithos has never sent an angel to the world at the birth of a Chosen."

Anna slipped off the table and walked to one of the windows. Night had truly fallen, and the panes of glass which she normally liked so much suddenly seemed like holes in the house that left them all vulnerable and exposed. She rested her head on the window, pressing her forehead against the cool surface. She knew so little of what could help them. Before Lloyd, she would have suggested that they do something direct against Mithos. She wished with all her might that she knew more about the world, about the true nature of things. Hearing Kratos tell her what was wrong was not the same as seeing it. But even if she saw it, it seemed there was no easy way to fix the wrongs. There had to be some way of going about it, but for the life of her she could not see what it was.

After a moment, she looked at Kratos in the window and saw his reflection move closer to her. Without turning around, she smiled. "Then you should feel honored," she said lightly. "If he sees you as that much of a threat, it must mean you're capable of hurting him."

"He's paranoid and inclined to snap at any potential threat he sees," Kratos said dryly.

"Even someone like that can be right sometimes." Just as Kratos came behind her, she spun around and put her hands on his shoulders with a smile. "And if we prove him right, think about how much better that'll make him feel."

"Are you serious?"

Anna shook her head with a smile. "No. If I were, I think I'd be hiding under the bed quaking. Laughing about it's a little better than that." She rose to her toes and kissed him until she felt his hands pulling her close to him.

But after only a few seconds he drew back, though she could still feel his breath on her lips. "Anna, we have to leave soon, before he finds us here. If he found out about you or Lloyd, he will kill you both as brutally as he can. I cannot put you in that danger."

"It's too late for that," Anna said softly. "We both know that, Kratos. All we can do at this point is just do what we can to get rid of that danger."

"With that in mind, we have to get rid of the immediate danger to you. Once you have a crest, you will no longer be in danger from the exsphere. Then we can move a little more freely."

"And do what?"

Kratos took her hands in his and drew her away from the window into their bedroom. As soon as he had shut the door, he turned back to her. "We need to try and travel to the world parallel to this one. It won't be easy, but there are research facilities and libraries there, libraries almost from the time when Mithos split everything. That world is likely to have the most information about what we might need to do, and on the whole, it would be easier for us to hide there than it is on this world."

"Getting there sounds dangerous."

"It is, but the longer we remain on this world and the older the Chosen becomes, the more dangerous it will be here."

Anna nodded and sat down on the bed, thinking about everything Kratos had said. "Is there nothing we can do for the girl who's the Chosen?" she asked after a moment.

"No. Not now. If we try to take her from her position, it will do nothing for her other than drag her and her family into our own position. In some ways, they would be worse off, because Mithos holds his dead sister dearer to him than anything else. He would see them trying to remove the girl as an affront to his sister Martel."

"Is she all he's been holding onto?"

Kratos nodded.

"She must have been special," Anna said softly. "What was she like?"

He was silent for a moment. "She was very kind. No matter who she met, she found some virtue in them, something worthwhile. And no matter how much cruelty she faced, she was sure that the people in the world were truly good, and she fought to try and bring that goodness out of them."

Anna lowered her head. Ridiculous as it was, she felt a twinge of jealousy that this woman, whoever she had been, could win such praise from Kratos. It was strange to hear him speak so warmly of anyone, and she wished that for once she could get him to be as eloquent with his love for her.

"Anna?"

As soon as she heard his voice, she felt absurd. "She sounds like an amazing person." That she could say sincerely.

"She was. But I can't remember her well. Nor, I think, can Mithos. Sometimes I think the only one who really knew her was Yuan, and I don't know if that knowledge translates to memory."

"One of Ian's favorite sayings at the Ranch was 'out of sight, out of mind,'" Anna said thoughtfully. She curled up on the bed, murmuring the words to herself. It had been a long time since she thought of them, longer still since she had heard them spoken.

Suddenly she sat up, her hands fumbling around her neck. "Kratos- I meant to give this to you a long time ago. But between one thing and another- well, I completely forgot. But I want you to have this." Her fingers fumbled with the clasp of the locket, and she hissed in pain as the metal clasp dug under her thumbnail. Finally the catch released, and the locket and chain came away in her hand. Carefully she pried it open, and held out the picture with one hand. "I think Deirdre did a good job," she whispered.

Kratos came forward and took the jewelry as though he was afraid he would break it. For a long moment, he looked at the picture inside. Anna watched his face intently, but for once, not even his eyes betrayed anything.

At last he looked at her. "Are you sure you do not want it yourself?"

"I'm sure," Anna said quietly. "You said once that you had forgotten the faces of the people you knew- I don't want you to forget Lloyd's or mine. Especially since- well, I'll eventually die. And so will Lloyd."

Kratos's mouth twisted sharply, and Anna drew in her breath, hoping that she had not said the wrong thing altogether. But without a word he clasped the chain around his neck and then sat beside her. "Anna- thank you."

She sat upright and took his hands in hers. "I wanted you to have it. Ever since I got the idea for Deirdre to paint a picture of us, I wanted it for you."

Kratos worked his right hand free and slid it up her arm, pulling her gently towards him. Anna smiled as they drew close. Just as his lips were within an inch of hers, he said very softly, "Did you still wish to hear the end of the story?"

Anna could barely hold in her laughter. "No. Instead…" she leaned closer and lightly kissed him before pulling away suddenly, "tell me about Tethe'alla."

"What do you wish to know?"

"Can you describe what it looks like? What are the people like?"

She lay down across the bed and waited. Kratos remained upright, though his right hand held her left. "The weather is different in some ways- most of the world is temperate, without much cold or strange storms or droughts," he said at last. "But even the weather feels more intense, almost stronger than that in Sylvarant- even the sun seems brighter. The people themselves- there are far more of them, and they live in comfort, especially compared to here. There are no ranches to deplete their population."

Anna sat up when she heard that. "You mean they don't have Desians?" For a moment her fingers caught Kratos's tightly. "Then if we went there- Lloyd wouldn't be in danger from them."

Kratos said nothing. Anna looked at him. His sharp face was highlighted by the glow from the lamp, and his red-brown eyes were staring intently at nothing. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Kratos, when are we leaving?"

At that he did look at her, and she quickly went on, "It's just that- can we wait until Lloyd turns two? So he can have a birthday he can remember? It's not such a long time, only two months, you know. And we still have to find out where a dwarf could be."

Kratos sighed. "Very well. But when we can pinpoint a likely location for a dwarf, we need to get ready to leave. Your exsphere is still growing, and key crests are something that only dwarves can make. In your case, it would need additional work, since your exsphere is in the process of becoming a Cruxis crystal. Crests for the crystals are different from those of an exsphere, and since your exsphere is in a developmental state, an ordinary crest may end up harming you rather than helping you."

"You lost me after saying that my exsphere was becoming a Cruxis crystal. Whatever you said, I'll take your word for it. But where would a dwarf live?"

Kratos sighed. "Anywhere near mountains, but the truth is that dwarves are rare, and they tend to have a distrust of humans. Cruxis employed a few dwarves in the past, but many resisted, and as a result were hunted down and killed. The few who did decide to work with Mithos eventually left him, though not without paying a price in the form of a loss of skill." He met Anna's horrified stare, and added quickly, "Anna, I know. It was horrible, and I have no justification for allowing it to happen. All I can do is try to make amends for it."

"I know," Anna said quietly. She knew that that was all Kratos could do now, but she still let her hand slip out of his as she lay down to go to sleep. When she finally slept, her dreams were confused, tangled, and dark. She could not recall any of them when she woke the next day.


	38. Sickness

**I like some parts of this chapter and cringe over others, so I guess I'll just leave it to you guys to decide what you think...**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Lloyd always makes me smile when I write him. And yes, I'm slowly but surely beginning to wind this down.**

**Shockwolf: I'm glad you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing that bit. **

**Elias: Given how much Noishe tackles Lloyd in the game/manga, I think we can say he gets his revenge for it later. Thanks so much for your review!**

**Own nothing.**

Kratos examined the cracked binding and frayed cover of the book closely, keeping his face blank. Tapping the volume once with his hand, he met the hopeful eyes of the vendor opposite him. "This is disintegrating and almost unreadable. I could probably find books in better condition at the Mausoleum. Do you suggest I look there?"

The young man raised an eyebrow. "Be my guest. You'll find monsters and stones, and no books whatsoever, let alone any edition of this volume. But if you find the condition that unsatisfactory… I daresay I could drop the price by a gald or two."

"Perhaps a few hundred gald, and I would consider it."

"You're bankrupting me!"

Kratos shrugged. "If you persist in selling such junk as this, perhaps your going out of business would be a relief to everyone here."

"Kratos!" Anna's voice rang out behind him, sounding astonished. "What are you doing?"

Surprised and annoyed, he turned towards her. "What are you talking about?"

"I-" She glanced from him to the vendor, looking embarrassed. Taking him by the arm, she pulled him away from the bookseller to the food stand where she and Lloyd had been waiting. "You were just insulting him, and what he was selling- that's not a good way for you to get the book."

A flush began to creep onto her cheeks as he stared at her. "Anna, have you ever heard of bargaining? Or haggling, as it is sometimes called?"

"Should I have?"

He sighed. "Anna, that exchange is just part of buying in a place such as this. The price is not always set, and you can argue with the seller to make the price lower."

Anna's face was as red as an apple. "Did I just ruin it for you?"

Kratos could not hold back a smile. "Maybe. But I have to get that book; it may have information that could help us. Will you let me try to do that?"

She laughed. "I suppose." She gave him a quick kiss and turned away with Lloyd. "See you when you get home, then?"

He watched her go before turning back to the vendor. The man's broad smile dropped when Kratos flicked a finger along a deep scratch on the front cover of the little purple volume. "As I was saying, this is the least of the book's blemishes. The pages are stained and the binding is almost non-existent. Perhaps my wife was right and I am wasting my time here." The swordsman turned away as he spoke.

"Five hundred gald, then," the bookseller called after him.

"Two hundred fifty."

"Are you trying to rob me?" the man grumbled. "Four fifty- and that's at a loss to me."

"A loss to me too, then," Kratos replied. "Three hundred."

"Very well then- I'll drop it to three fifty, but no more."

Kratos kept his face blank. "Fair enough." He handed over the coins and took the little book, wincing at the faint crackle of the binding. He hoped the text was in better condition than the outer parts of the volume, or the purchase would have been for nothing.

Thick heat beat down on the street market of Asgard as he followed Anna and Lloyd, who had been swallowed up by the crowd some distance ahead. People were passing up and down on either side of him, but ahead the crowd near the end of the street seemed to condense and pool out to the side. Murmurs were rippling towards him, murmurs of: "What happened?" "Is someone sick?" The rows of people were coming to a standstill, and Kratos found himself forced to move to the side of the street. There was a small alley to his right between two clothing shops, it would be easy to pass through and emerge near their house on the outskirts of the town. As he moved through the sluggish crowd, the sound of a child crying reached his ears. For one second he froze. Then he moved forward, almost throwing aside those before him in his haste.

He knew, even before he reached the small throng gathered at the end of the street, what he would find. Anna had collapsed on her side, her face chalky and sickly in the garish sunlight. Lloyd was kneeling beside her. His hands were wrapped around one of hers. Again and again he cried out, "Mama! Mama!" But she did not respond or move.

To Kratos the entire crowd took on the semblance of half-imagined ghouls on the edge of a nightmare. He could only focus on Anna and Lloyd. His eyes took in the thin coating of dust on her limp hand, and the way her body had crumpled, a lifeless heap of overlarge clothes and thin limbs. For one horrific instant, he thought that she was truly gone. Then her free hand shifted, and her eyelids flickered.

Almost before he knew it, he was kneeling beside her. Moving Lloyd gently aside, he placed a hand on Anna's forehead. Shutting his eyes, he concentrated upon her mana.

It was a strange sensation, one he had not experienced in many years. He was in darkness, surrounded by the warmth and pulsing of every life force around him. But close to him, there was a force, an energy, that was not thriving as the others were. It was fluctuating and ebbing fast. Kratos could feel that in the same way he could sense the presence of a tunnel by shifts in underground air. Anna's mana was being drawn into a point, and it was clear that that point was her exsphere. There was only one thing he could do for her, and in that crowded place, it was very dangerous. Keeping his eyes closed, he gathered his own mana, tapping on that strange energy he could sense within himself, and began to feed it into the pool that was Anna's.

After a long moment, he could feel himself growing considerably weaker. Anna's exsphere had awakened to a frightening extent. It was drawing both their combined energies now. For every moment Kratos gave mana to his wife, it was drawn immediately out of her and into the exsphere. If he did not draw away from her soon, he would collapse beside her. Yet he continued to concentrate feeding his own energy into hers. He would not lose his love to a battle with a parasitic rock.

Suddenly he felt the pull on her mana slacken and cease. Gathering himself, he lessened the energy he was giving her, and slowly began to sever their connection. Gradually he broke off the melding of his mana with hers, and opened his eyes.

She was still unconscious, but at least now she looked alive. Her breathing was deeper and her skin was now the pallid shade of an invalid rather than that of a corpse. Kratos breathed a sigh of relief and straightened up. Lloyd was still beside him, his eyes wide. "Daddy?" he whispered. "Daddy? What that?"

"It's all right, Lloyd. It will be now. Mommy's going to be fine, I promise," Kratos whispered, and pulled his son close.

The crowd parted suddenly, and a man came forward. Kratos shook himself and began to pay attention to his surroundings again. From the murmurings and the way the crowd had moved aside, he guessed this man was a healer. This impression was strengthened by the practiced air the man had as he knelt beside Anna. Nonetheless, Kratos gave him a sharp glare. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm the healer here," the man said without looking away from Anna. His sharp grey eyes were focused on Anna's face, and he looked almost confused. "Are you her husband?" he asked without looking up.

"Yes."

"Do I have your permission to check her pulse?"

Kratos did not miss the faint irony in the man's voice. But even through his irritation he was aware that Anna needed care and inclined his head without speaking. The man bent forward and placed two fingers on her neck. He frowned and checked her wrist before placing a hand on her forehead. At last he looked up with a puzzled expression. "I would say she passed out from the heat," he said slowly. "But her heart rate's sky-high, like she's been running or doing some intense physical exercise. But it doesn't look like she was- the person who fetched me told me she just fell down. Does she have spells like this often?"

"This is the first of its kind," Kratos said, hoping he did not sound evasive. The last thing he wanted was for this man to discover that Anna bore an exsphere. "She is not from this area," he said at last. "Could something have affected her that is native to this locality?"

"Where is she from?"

"Luin."

The doctor's brow furrowed. "I almost would have thought then that she'd have a pretty strong immune system. Living by the lake would almost drive that into you. But I suppose it's possible there was something in the air. Is she not used to strong heat, maybe?"

"It is possible. Either way," Kratos glared at the man, "we cannot leave her lying here. Can I take her home?"

"That'd be best. Do you…" the doctor's voice trailed off as Kratos lifted her without comment. "Where do you live? I think I should check on her later."

The thought of the man coming by set Kratos's teeth on edge. "We live on the outskirts of town," he answered shortly, and rose to his feet. "Lloyd, come on," he said quietly. "Stay close."

"I'll come with you," the doctor said evenly. "Just to make sure you all get settled safely."

Kratos nodded briefly, and they walked away from the muttering crowd in silence. The walk back to their home was short, but to the swordsman it seemed to last hours, until Anna stirred suddenly in his arms and her eyelids flickered. "Kratos?" she whispered. "Why- what are you doing? What happened?"

"You collapsed, Anna. From the heat, we think," he said as firmly as he could, hoping she would hear the warning in his voice.

She shifted a little and looked around. "Did I? Wait- where's Lloyd? You can put me down- I can walk- I think. Where's Lloyd?"

"Lloyd is here with me, as is a doctor. We're almost home, just stay where you are."

Anna laughed weakly. "If you say so."

He carried her into the house. The doctor held the door open for him and gave Kratos a sharp look. "Give her some time to rest," he said firmly. "I think, now that she's awake, she should be all right, but make sure she's hydrated. I do want to check in tomorrow, if that's all right with you both." From the doorway he met Kratos's eyes for a second before turning away. The door closed behind him.

As soon as the man had gone, Kratos set her down carefully, and she smiled when he kept an arm around her waist. "I'm all right, truly," she murmured. Turning, she gave him a gentle kiss. "But I am tired."

With a sigh, she sat down, and Lloyd ran up to her. "Mommy!" he cried out. "Mommy better?"

"Yes- for now, I am."

He looked up at her with large eyes. "Sick?"

Kratos smoothed his son's rumpled hair with a smile that felt strained. Anna sighed and propped an elbow on the table. "Sort of, Lloyd," she said quietly. "It's hard to explain."

For a moment she was quiet. The warm summer air seemed to fill the little house. Lloyd looked at both his parents for a moment before toddling off to where Noishe was lying by the back door. Anna watched him go with a faint smile. "Can you make sure he doesn't go crazy with the poor animal?" she asked softly. "I'm going to go lie down; I think I need to sleep for a while. Did you get the book?"

"Yes." Kratos watched anxiously as she rose, which made her smile.

"I'm not going to shatter into pieces, you know," she murmured, and proved the point by walking up to him and kissing him very firmly on the mouth. "Just let me sleep for a little. Spend some time with Lloyd- after what he saw today, I think he'll want to be with you."

Accordingly he spent most of the day with Lloyd, watching him play in the yard and occasionally talking quietly with him. Most of the conversation consisted of him telling his son the names of the various things he found in the yard, from a dandelion to a beetle. Kratos could see no sign that Lloyd had any lasting fear from what had happened to Anna that day. It was not until he carried the little boy to bed that his son grew very quiet. After Kratos dressed him, he sat staring at the floor with his brow furrowed. Something in the set brown eyes looked vaguely familiar to the seraph, and it took him a few moments to recognize himself in his son's thoughtful expression. Kneeling in front of him, he took one of Lloyd's hands in his. "Lloyd, are you all right? Is something the matter?"

"Mommy." His son's voice was a murmur.

"Mommy is fine. She wasn't feeling well today, but she's better."

The little boy did not look convinced. "Do you want to say goodnight to her?" Kratos asked after a moment.

Lloyd nodded, and together they went to his and Anna's bedroom. She was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, but sat up when the floorboards squeaked. Her brown hair was tousled and her eyes sleepy. "Are you going to bed now, Lloyd?" she asked softly. "Your daddy kept you up late."

Kratos almost lost his grip as the little boy lunged for Anna. She reached up with a smile and took Lloyd on her lap. "Goodnight, sweetheart," she whispered softly. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right? I love you, Lloyd."

"Night, Mommy. Love you," her son whispered back. He hugged her tightly around the neck, and she embraced him almost fiercely. After a long moment she let go and handed Lloyd back to Kratos, who carried him back to his own room. The little boy watched over Kratos's shoulder until Anna vanished around the corner of the door.

He began to yawn as soon as Kratos laid him down and covered him with a light sheet. The swordsman remained kneeling by the side of the bed, running his hand absently through Lloyd's hair. Lloyd giggled for a moment, but his laugh was lost in a gigantic yawn. At last he murmured, "Daddy?"

"I'm here, Lloyd."

"Daddy not go?"

Bewildered, Kratos stared at him for a moment. Lloyd's eyes opened a little wider, and he looked sharply at his father. "Daddy not go!" he repeated more loudly, as his father began to stand.

"Don't shout, Lloyd," Kratos said quietly. "And I have to go- I need to stay with Mommy and make sure she is all right."

Lloyd's eyes grew wet. "Daddy not go," he murmured, sounding all the sadder in his exhaustion.

Touched, Kratos bent and clasped Lloyd's left hand in his. "Lloyd, I will not be far away. If you need me, I'll know, and make sure you're all right. I love you very much, even when I'm not with you. All right? But you have to sleep now."

"Kay," Lloyd mumbled. "Love you, Daddy."

"Good night, Lloyd." He brushed Lloyd's hair back one last time and slipped out of the room, leaving the door open a crack.

Anna was sitting up with her hands clasped on her right knee when he entered. She gave him a smile. "Was Lloyd good for you? You seem so quiet when you're with him."

"He was fine. I think it is just that I watch him, and could do so for a long time."

She laughed and lay down on her stomach. "Kratos, he wants you to do more than that. You have to play with him, actually do things with him. Otherwise you're missing out, and he is too. I can see you love him every time you look at him, but I think he'd like for you to do more than that."

He nodded and sat beside Anna. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired- like I've not eaten or slept for a long time. But not really hungry- just weary. And did you hear any of what I told you about Lloyd?"

"I did. At the moment, I am trying to think of how we can best get you a crest for your exsphere."

"Did that book you bought today have anything to do with that?"

Kratos nodded. "It details the journey of a man who documented every region of Sylvarant some years ago- at least from I could see by skimming it. If there are dwarves on Sylvarant still, their possible locations would be in that book."

He fetched the little volume from where he had dropped it on the table and brought it back to Anna. She shifted so he could lie down beside her, and dropped her head on the pillow while he began to scan the pages, looking for any reference to a dwarf. The first third of the book dealt principally with the cities and geography of Sylvarant, but after that, the book began to grow more detailed, and Kratos was forced to read every page carefully. There was a section on the Church, which he skimmed over lightly, and it was not until he reached a chapter on the economics of Sylvarant that dwarves were mentioned. In that section he found that dwarven technology had contributed to the prosperity of Iselia before Sylvarant had entered its decline so long ago. Eagerly he read through the rest of the volume, but there was nothing else, no mention of any dwarven settlement close by. Sighing, he set the book down.

"What's the matter?" Anna mumbled, her voice muffled by her leaning on her arm. "Find anything?"

"We have to go to Iselia for certain. This book mentions dwarves living near there, and I know that in my time with Cruxis it was the only location to find dwarves in Sylvarant. I was hoping for something closer."

"At least we have something to go on," she murmured. "Are we going to go soon?"

"Lloyd's birthday was last week, and with your exsphere attacking you today, I think we need to leave as soon as we can do so without attracting suspicion."

She nodded. Her eyes were focused on him, and a smile was on her lips. "All right," she said quietly. For a moment she was quiet, but then she raised a hand and suddenly caressed his cheek. "Kratos, earlier today- I thought I felt you with me, when I was out of it. It was strange- I felt so close to you, and I guess I was wondering- what did you do?"

He shoved the book aside and slid his hand around her waist. "I gave you some of my mana, to counteract what your exsphere was pulling away from you."

She smiled. "Kratos Aurion, I could tell you that I love you every day from here on out and I don't think it would be enough."

Kratos could think of no immediate answer other than a kiss, which she seemed to accept as answer enough.

The doctor came late the next morning. His examination of Anna was brief. "Frankly, I'm still confused by what happened to you," he said bluntly. "I've looked up a few diseases that could be brought on by heat, but your episode yesterday doesn't match up with any of them, and you seem to have almost completely recovered. From what I saw yesterday, you seemed to have the kind of fatigue that takes weeks to recover from." He took a deep breath and addressed Anna. "From what your husband- you-" he nodded to Kratos, "said yesterday, it sounded like you've had some kind of illness before."

"You could say that," Anna replied. "It's hard to define though, since it only comes on in fits and starts. It's- very irregular."

"I see. Well in that case- I think you two should go see an acquaintance of mine- assuming you're well enough to travel. He lives in Luin, and he's a bit of a specialist in fits and the like. If you're up to the trip, I strongly recommend you go see him. My only caution would be that there's word that the Desians from the northern ranch are on their way back here; there's rumors of outlying houses being attacked and so on. If you decide to go, you have to be careful."

Lloyd staggered up to the table and leaned on Anna, looking up at the healer with wide eyes. The man gave the little boy a quick smile. "You were brave yesterday," he said cheerfully. "How old are you?"

Anna smiled and brushed her son's wild hair down. "He's two, just last week."

"You're getting to be an old man," the healer said jovially. "Well you help take care of your mommy, all right? Make sure she's all right and keep an eye on her."

"We will." Kratos thought he had kept his voice quiet, but the man jumped as though he had been stung. Smirking inwardly, Kratos moved to the door, keeping his voice low and polite. "Thank you for your help," he said firmly. "We will try to go and see this friend of yours as soon as we can. What is his name?"

The healer gave Kratos a long stare. "His name is David, and he lives beside the inn in Luin. I can write you a letter of introduction, if you wish. But like I said, you would have to be careful. The cardinal who runs that ranch left a while back, but if we can believe the rumors, he's coming back to this area now."

Kratos nodded. "I understand."

The healer glanced one last time around the room and shrugged his shoulders. "All right then. I'll write that letter today, and bring it back tonight or tomorrow."

"Try to make it tonight," Kratos said quietly. "We should see to this sickness as soon as we can."

The healer departed at last, giving Kratos a look compounded of sympathy and questions as he passed through the door. As soon as the man had gone, Kratos turned to Anna. "Are you able to travel?"

She stared at him. "I- well, I think so, as long as we took it slowly. Kratos, what are you planning?"

He smiled faintly. "Was it obvious something was on my mind?"

She laughed. "I know you pretty well, so yes. But what is on your mind? I would have thought you'd hate that man's suggestions."

Kratos shook his head. "That man just gave us a reason to be gone from Asgard for a long length of time. And it gives us the chance to go to Iselia and look for any dwarves who may remain there."

"How?"

"When we leave, we will go to Palmacosta, and sail across to the opposite continent. From there, we can make our way north to Iselia. It's roundabout, but it will allow time for Mithos to withdraw any extra surveillance he may have placed there for the Chosen's birth, and it will give us a chance to become anonymous again, mere travelers who are faces without names."

Anna nodded. "I think I follow that. You do realize though, that it's going to take us longer with Lloyd. And we'll have to be more careful than before, because Kvar's troops might be around."

"There are rumors he is returning to his ranch," Kratos said cautiously. "I do not know how much I believe them, but I think his search for you has lost some of its enthusiasm. From what I've heard in Asgard and what the doctor said, he is still looking, but was forced to send some of his troops back to his ranch to guard the prisoners. If we can make it as far as the city, we would be safe enough. From what I know of the Cardinal of the Palmacosta Ranch, he resents any infringement on his territory, and what Kvar is doing would certainly qualify."

Anna looked out at the bright white walls and gleaming windows, and her eyes suddenly filled with tears. "All right," she said quietly. "We should get ready to go."


	39. Malice

**This chapter was exhausting. And I'm sorry it took so long, I really am. **

**AngelofaWhiteNight: Thanks for getting that! Obviously I fail at updating soon, but I'll try and be quicker for the next few chapters.**

**skye96: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like Lloyd, he's a lot of fun to write. I'm honored you like my writing- still have a long ways to go to get better, but that's why I'm here.**

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For almost two months they traveled southward, taking roundabout paths that wound their way over rivers and around hills. To Anna, the ground seemed infinitely harder than it had been in her memory of her travels with Kratos, and whenever she woke, her entire body would ache from the rocks and tree roots that seemed omnipresent in the ground. She envied Lloyd, who slept in Kratos's lap, though the sight of the little boy curled up on his father's chest never failed to make her smile. Kratos was adamant that they had to avoid contact as much as they possibly could, and when they came near a rough roadside shelter, Anna could see why. A tattered poster with her sketch, label, and human name was tacked to the interior of the shelter. At that sight, they had skirted the shelter and the small group of travelers within, heading far out of their way on a forgotten trail that looped west almost to the coast and in the end brought them only a few miles closer to Palmacosta. They spent nearly a week on that path, and winter began to draw near. When a bitter wind began blowing over the rocks at night, Anna insisted that they had to go the city without further delay.

When they finally arrived at Palmacosta, it was apparent that winter was coming. As they approached the city from the east, it seemed that travelers had sprung out of the road, it was so crowded. But what surprised Anna the most was the number of guards who were patrolling the main roads to the city. She felt the palms of her hands growing sweaty as she, Kratos, Lloyd, and Noishe made their way towards the large buildings on the skyline. But the men paid little attention to any of the travelers, and seemed to concentrate their attention to the east, where Anna knew the Desian ranch lay.

Growing more and more nervous, she pulled Kratos back before they came in earshot of one of the guards. "What do you think is going on?" she asked softly. "Why are there guards here?"

"I don't know," Kratos answered in an equally low voice. "But they are officials of the city if their uniforms are anything to judge by. And the weapons they carry are not made by the Desians. But I have no idea what their purpose is."

"Do you think they could be watching for us?"

"Possibly." He handed Lloyd to Anna casually, and rested a hand on the hilt of his sword. "But if we stay here, we run the risk of attracting their attention."

"Should we go back?"

"We have to find a ship to transport us to the other continent. This city is the only place that might offer such transport in the middle of winter, even if it did take a long time to get here."

"It was your idea to come here in the first place," Anna said as innocently as possible.

He glared at her, and she stood on her toes and kissed him quickly. "Should we get going?" she said lightly. "If we have to fight, we should probably get indoors beforehand."

"Mommy, you and Daddy fighting?" Lloyd queried.

Anna fought an urge to giggle. "No, though Daddy looks like he wants to."

"Then why you kiss him?"

Anna grinned, and Kratos seemed to be fighting a smile. But he kept any emotion out of his voice as he answered, "Because, Lloyd, she knows that that is the best way to make sure I cannot remember how to argue with her."

At that, Anna could not contain her laughter. "If you're complaining, I can make sure to avoid doing anything that might… cloud your thinking in the future."

"For now, I would appreciate that, but not indefinitely."

Together they walked forward. Anna could not surpass a tremor of fear when they passed the guards, but the men paid them no more than a passing glance. She had to keep herself from breathing a sigh of relief when they finally reached the cramped roads and high buildings of the city itself.

The feeling of relief did not last long. When Kratos led them to one of the few nautical travel agencies in the city, he spent almost an hour inside their offices. When he finally emerged into the lobby where Anna and Lloyd were waiting, his eyes were hard and his mouth was a thin line. Anna could not get a word out of him until they stood in the cold street.

"None of the ships are sailing, now that winter has fully set in," he explained. "Not one. The explanation is that the rigging becomes too dangerous, and the seas too rough at this time of year."

Anna felt her stomach clenching. "So what does that mean for us? How long until there is a passenger ship sailing?"

"Not until the beginning of spring, in late March. And even then, almost all reservations are filling up quickly."

"We can't travel back up the continent, Kratos. Not in winter, and not with Lloyd. We can't do it. It's only a few more months till that time, and there must be some place to stay. I guess the only question would be could we afford that and the passage across?"

Kratos sighed. "I don't know. We can afford to pay passage for certain, but I was not counting on having to spend such an extended amount of time in this city. Perhaps we should go back and try to make our way north and overland to Iselia."

"Kratos, I know that you want us to go quickly, but the amount of time we've spent wandering in the middle of nowhere is just too long. At this rate, Lloyd isn't going to have much of a childhood at all. And it's the middle of winter. How can we turn around and go all the way back up north? How long of a journey would that be? It took us almost two months just to get here."

Kratos's face became drawn. "If we remain in the city, we run the risk of someone recognizing us."

"I know that!" Anna whispered, feeling her anger mount. "I know, but what good does it do to run around in the middle of nowhere? We can't keep it up forever."

"It may have saved us more than we know," Kratos answered dryly. "If we had the Desians pursuing us directly, we would not be able to avoid Cruxis for long. I would rather us move slowly and avoid being pinned than moving quickly on the run."

"But we can't keep doing this. If it was just me, I would be fine with it, but it's not. We have to think about Lloyd and how he's growing up. He's already known two different homes, and for the past two months, we've just been wandering. And there was that time when we almost ran into that Desian patrol, and he almost gave us away because he didn't understand we had to be quiet. If we keep running around, how long is it going to be before he sees a battle? He's two. He needs a home, Kratos, and if we can't give that to him, then we are utter failures as parents."

A tense silence fell. At last Kratos broke it. "How would you define a home? Because even if we stay and wait for the winter to end, it will only be a few months, and a place that rents rooms on a monthly basis can hardly be considered a home."

"It could, if you consider a home a place where you know that you are loved, no matter what," she retorted. "I haven't really known any other kind."

For a moment they held each other's gaze. At last Kratos dropped his eyes, but Anna knew him too well to think he had given in. Lloyd stood beside her, staring up at the huge buildings. Noishe was beside him, towering protectively beside the small child and glaring at any passerby that happened to stare.

"You're right."

Anna blinked and turned her gaze back to Kratos. "Really? You don't mind waiting another few months?"

"I do mind, but if we go back north…" His voice trailed off and he looked at Lloyd. "You are right in that it would not be fair to Lloyd."

Anna nodded. "All right," she said after a moment. "I guess you should go in and get the trip arranged. And then we can look for somewhere to stay." She touched his shoulder. "And on the bright side, I found out while you were inside that those guards are actually members of a militia the city's founded to assert their independence."

Kratos shrugged. "Then perhaps we will be safer here than I expected. Nevertheless, we have to leave as soon as possible."

To that she could think of nothing to say.

As the winter passed, Anna had to admit that she rather enjoyed spending the time in the city. It was pleasant to walk and see the bright lanterns and storefronts, and she loved especially the festive air to the city as the New Year approached. Kratos took to working nightly shifts for anyone who required a guard, law-abiding or otherwise. Lloyd grew more and more talkative as the winter months passed, and found some companions in the landlord's children, who often let him take part in their games. Slowly spring was drawing near.

The day before the upcoming voyage finally arrived. Kratos was adamant about traveling as lightly as they possibly could, and Anna's task had been to dispose of old items of clothing that had no use. There were only a few charities in the city, and all of them were run by the church. Anna had only seen the cathedral from a distance, and was eager to catch a glimpse of the interior. Kratos, who had been forced to sell some of his spare daggers, had taken Lloyd and Noishe with him to one of the antique shops in the city. They arranged to meet before the university as soon as both of their respective tasks were complete.

When Anna came to the high stone building, she found herself daunted by the towering steeples that rose into the sky. The structure was awe-inspiring and yet rather chilling. Anna looked at the engravings over the door. In the human ranch she had forgotten almost every aspect of the Martellian faith, and could barely remember anything save for bits and pieces: Mithos the Hero, the Chosen of Regeneration, angels. They had been pictures in her mind, strange images for which she had had no explanation as a child. And in the ranch they had soon been driven out of her mind altogether. It only took her a few moments to drop off the clothing, and she did not even make it inside the church, for a priest saw her and offered to take the clothing directly. After the man left, she remained on the steps for a few moments, feeling a curious tumult of awe and anger at such a falsely beautiful place. She lowered her head for a moment, knowing she had to meet Kratos and Lloyd before the university. Then she looked up and saw a sight that filled her with rage.

Opposite the cathedral was a large building, which housed the guards of the city. Just before the gate within those walls, a large guard was in the process of shoving a child away. Anna strained her ears and heard the child shout, "Please! Just let me look and see if he's there, I've been looking for him so long! He might be there, you won't even check!" The guard sighed, and pointed away from the entrance. Anna could not catch his words, but he seemed to be attempting to reason with the boy. She hesitated a moment, and then crossed the street to them. Immediately the boy turned to face her. Though his build was slight, something in his sharp face made Anna guess that he was about twelve years old. But his large blue eyes looked agitated and lost.

"What's the matter?" Anna asked him. "Is something wrong?"

Both guard and boy opened their mouths, but the guard spoke first. "This kid's looking for his teacher, and he thinks he'll find him in the barracks for some reason, even though I've explained to him that we haven't taken on anyone new in a while. No matter what I tell him, he insists that he should be allowed to wonder all over looking for this teacher of his."

"But why would you think he'd be there?" Anna asked the boy, bewildered. "Wouldn't he be in the academy that's in the city?"

"I don't know," the boy said petulantly. He glared at the guard. "But he's interested in weapons and things, and he's a good fighter. So I thought he might be here, but they won't even let me ask!"

Anna was astounded by the malice in his glance at the guard. She thought for a moment, then tapped the boy on the shoulder. "Look," she said firmly, "I think you should probably check the academy for your teacher before you check the barracks. I can get you to the academy, and if you want, I can ask if they've seen your teacher. Maybe they'll let the both of us look. How does that sound?"

The boy glanced at the guard, and then back at Anna. "I guess- I guess that'll be all right. Thanks."

Together they walked down into the heart of the city. After a long silence Anna turned to the boy. "What happened that you're looking for your teacher?"

"He's been missing for a while, and he's been acting odd." The boy gave a heavy sigh. "I want to try to find him, and see what's wrong."

"That's nice of you. But if he's been missing, shouldn't you tell your parents or some of the guards so they can help?"

"I don't think they can do anything," the boy said in a rather distant voice. Something in his tone made Anna glance at him sharply. She did not think he was lying, but there was something he was not telling her. She wondered whether she should press him to explain, but decided to wait.

After walking down several blocks, the pair of them made it to the academy. Kratos and Lloyd still had not arrived, though there were people walking back and forth before the entrance. The boy stared up at the door, and a strange look of determination crossed his face. He was about to open the door when Anna spoke. "Wait. Do you still want me to come?"

He shrugged. "I can go on myself, if you have to be somewhere. I can find him, if he's here."

"All right," Anna said absently. She could not decide whether he needed reassurance or not. This boy was rather strange to her; his determined behavior now was a sharp contrast to the desperation in his voice when he had asked for his teacher at the barracks. Altogether this child was unusual.

"You know," she said after a moment, "we're going to need to tell the people in there who we're looking for. I've never been there, but I think they need to know his name to be able to find him."

"Oh yes," the boy exclaimed, as though he was berating himself for having forgotten. "His name's Kratos. Kratos Aurion."

Anna's heart seemed to stop beating. It was impossible. How could this boy even know about Kratos? Her husband had been using a false name ever since they had come to Palmacosta, and he worked only as a night watchman. He spent the day with her; it had been that way throughout their entire stay in the area. She racked her brains for any memory of this child, but could not recall seeing a boy of this age at any point in their travels, and certainly she would have remembered one who called Kratos a teacher. She stared at the boy, trying to match the blond hair and blue eyes to any face she had seen during their travels. But she simply could not place him.

"Are you all right?" the boy asked.

He was watching her intently and his brow was furrowed as though he was trying to think of something. Anna's mouth felt dry. "That's an unusual name, isn't it? Kratos? It's not one I've ever heard before."

The boy shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. It's a little unusual, I guess, but it won't matter if I can't find him." The note of agitation crept back into his voice. "I have to find him. I don't know what he's doing, and he won't tell me anything! He even- he even attacked me the last time I tried to talk to him!"

"What?" Anna whispered, though she was not horrified as much as completely lost. She could not imagine what the child was talking about, nor who he could possibly be.

The boy swallowed. "He just left me- and then he said he wasn't coming back! How could he do that?" His voice had grown shrill and his eyes looked almost wild. Anna stared at him for a moment, her thoughts in turmoil. Something about this was profoundly wrong. She had to find out more about this boy, but she also had to tell Kratos that somehow he had been traced here. For a moment, she struggled with herself. An idea suddenly came to her.

"If he attacks you, you should tell someone!" she exclaimed, hoping she sounded motherly and concerned. "You shouldn't be looking for him! How long has this been going on?"

"Not a long time," the boy said. He looked at her contemptuously, and for a moment Anna was startled by how old he suddenly seemed. With a toss of his head, the boy continued, "Anyway, it's not your business! I need to find him! And if you don't want me to, then go away!" He stamped his foot, but the fierce look in his large blue eyes completely belied his childish demeanor. Anna again had the sense of something profoundly wrong. There was a darkness in those large eyes, a malice that felt familiar, though she could not place it.

Even as she met the boy's deep blue eyes, he gasped and stared at her. Then he suddenly grabbed her wrist and dragged her into an alleyway beside the university. His grip was hideously strong, and she could not break it. Anna realized with horror that the street was by chance deserted. She dug her feet into the ground and twisted away sharply. The boy's grip on her wrist loosened suddenly, and a thin cold shaft stabbed into her back. Looking down, she caught a glimpse of a tip of steel vanishing from beneath her chest before she collapsed to the ground, writhing.

The child was standing above her with a knife in his hands. The hatred in his eyes was so intense that she cringed, even as his face was fading into blackness. "I remember you now," he whispered, crouching so he stood above her. "I remember. You were with Kratos that night he attacked me. You saw it, and you let him do it. If not for you he wouldn't have done it, and he'd still be at my side!"

Somehow she fought her way into a sitting position, wincing as she felt the blood seeping out of her back. "Who are you?" she choked out. "Why did you do this?"

"You still don't know?" The boy laughed. "Though now that I think about it- you saw me another way, didn't you?"

Light began to swirl around him, wreaking havoc with Anna's blurred vision. But the strange effect lasted for only a few seconds before it died down. The tall pale figure she saw standing before her almost made her faint.

It was the man she had seen years ago, the day after Kratos had led her from the ranch. There was no mistaking the long hair and the small vicious eyes. This was the man who had tried to attack Kratos, the man whose words had gone over her head because she had been so overwhelmed and frightened. The man he had addressed as Yggdrassill.

He seemed to sense her shock, and looked at her with contempt. "You saw the lord of heaven and earth and you did not know it."

"More like the tyrant," she whispered back.

Yggdrassill's eyes narrowed, and he raised his hand. Just then a low voice spoke up from the entrance of the alleyway. "Mithos, do you want to ruin an entire city devoted to your church for the sake of one human?"

Anna struggled to stand, but felt her head spin. Yggdrassill spun on his heel and glared in the direction of the voice. "I should have known you would say something like that, Kratos."

"It is why you made me your teacher so many years ago."

Anna almost shivered at the sound of Kratos's voice; there was a brittle quality to it that made him almost unrecognizable. She struggled to get to her feet, praying with all her heart that Lloyd was somewhere far away. Yggdrassill gave her a contemptuous look as she rose, bracing herself against the wall.

Kratos came into the narrow alleyway and stood beside her, though he did not touch her or even look at her. He went on, still addressing the man before them. "Now is not the time or the place for this, and you know it."

"You dare tell me that?"

"Yes." Kratos's voice was very quiet, and Anna shuddered at how cold he sounded. "You have everything to lose by exposing yourself here. I will come before you later. But not now. You know what is at stake in this world, with the Chosen just born."

The angel stared very hard at Kratos. "I should kill you here and now."

"And let Origin loose?"

Yggdrassill seemed to flinch at that word, and looked away. His face was curiously withdrawn and his eyes were blank. Anna realized she was holding her breath. Every second seemed like an hour. She scarcely dared to move.

At last Yggdrassill suddenly moved forward, his eyes fixed on Kratos. "As you say, this is not the place to deal with you. But she can be disposed of now."

He took a step forward. Before Anna had time to flinch, Kratos had stepped in front of her. Dizzy, she stared at his back, hoping she would not fall against him. Her head was swimming and her knees were beginning to weaken. She tried to brace herself against the wall, and almost fell forward. Without thinking she automatically caught hold of Kratos, and was astonished to feel how rigid his shoulders were. She righted herself, and found herself praying, though to what she did not know. She simply could not accept that somehow the world had ended for them here in this alley.

Suddenly she was conscious of Yggdrassill speaking again. Feeling strangely numb, she forced herself to pay attention through the dull ache in her back and the dampness of blood on her clothing. "… cannot touch you as we stand. But I will destroy you for this, Kratos! I'll send everyone after you! You can't do this to me!"

Furious, Anna tried to step forward. Kratos immediately held her back, and her head swam for a moment. Closing her eyes, she concentrated all her attention on remaining upright. "What about what you did to him?" she choked out. "What about what you did to everyone?"

"Anna, he is gone."

She blinked and nearly fell over as she tried to turn towards Kratos. He caught her swiftly and braced her with one hand. "I cannot fully heal this," he said. His voice was very close to her ear, and his face seemed shadowy in the alley. "I can only concentrate upon the internal injury. The rest will have to mend itself." The faint warmth of a healing spell emanated from his hand.

Anna closed her eyes and then stiffened as a terrifying thought occurred to her. "Where's Lloyd?"

"I left him with Noishe when I realized that there was an angelic presence nearby. He is all right, Anna."

She pulled out of his arms. "We have to go to him now. What if Yggdrassill goes after him?"

She almost ran out of the alley, only to have the entire world swim before her eyes. Blackness temporarily filled her vision, and she woke to find Kratos holding her. People were giving them strange looks as they passed, and she felt a flush growing hot on her cheeks. "Where is Lloyd?" she asked harshly.

Kratos helped her to her feet and nodded toward the end of the street, where there was a small statue on the corner of one of the walkways. Noishe was lying at the base of it, with Lloyd sitting patiently at his feet. Anna slowly moved towards him, relief flooding over her. When she took him in her arms, she could not help looking anxiously at the sky.

As soon as her son began to squirm, she let go, her hands trembling. Kratos met her eyes without emotion. "We have to get ready," he said quietly. "Our only hope lies in the fact that we are leaving tomorrow."


	40. Heroes In The Sky

**This was impossible to write. I don't have a single good reason why, but for some reason this chapter caused me much anguish. I really hope it didn't affect the quality of the writing.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I had way too much fun writing that part with Mithos... I'm glad you had that reaction, though; it means it paid off.**

**CommodoreZelda13: Riveting? I'm flattered. And you were the two hundredth reviewer! Here, have my undying gratitude :)  
**

**Shockwolf: Okay, okay, I get it! The name is now fixed! **

**andy: I like that it was intense; I get told that things are cute so often that I'm sometimes afraid I fail at writing anything other than fluff. **

**Own nothing. At all.  
**

Bright sunlight filtered through the mists of Izoold, belying the chill of late spring that hung in the air. A faint breeze began to blow away the wispy fog that still clung to the alleys and outskirts of the little town. Cries rose from various ships as the crews struggled with unloading cargo or preparing to sail. On the whole, the place seemed untroubled. There were no furtive glances or knots of people that would indicate any kind of disturbance or danger. Nevertheless, Kratos was still uneasy.

A tap on his shoulder brought him sharply out of his study of the town. "Come on," Anna said with a smile. "We're holding up the line a little."

He realized that a row of people had formed behind them back to the ship from which they had just disembarked. Scooping up Lloyd, who had begun to wander too close to the edge of the dock, he joined Anna and Noishe on solid ground.

Anna shifted her pack on her back and glanced up at him. "So, where to now? Is it too dangerous to stay in an inn, or should we try to blend in with the crowd?"

"It's hard to say." They moved down the beach to the northern outskirts of the town. "A family such as ours travelling alone will attract some notice no matter what we do. The main difficulty will be making sure that we do not attract the notice of the wrong people."

"Perhaps we can be visiting relatives for the first time? Or perhaps- would people travel to Iselia for religious reasons? If we try that… the wrong people might not automatically associate anything they hear about us with us." She laughed suddenly. "I think I just lost myself. Did that make any sense at all?"

Kratos felt a smile pulling at his lips. "A little. Pretending we are pilgrims is not a bad idea, but it requires some close knowledge of the teachings Church of Martel."

"Which I really don't have. You probably have enough to pass for the two of us, though, wouldn't you?"

He stared at the sand further to the north. "I do, but it is hard to say what our best option is at the moment. But no matter what we choose, we should spend the night here."

"Then let's make the arrangements for that. And afterwards we can go out to that beach there," she pointed to the north, "and talk about it a little more."

"Why there?"

Anna shoved him lightly. "So we can talk without being overheard. And we can play with Lloyd there."

They made their way to the beach after he had found them a small cramped room on the topmost floor of a dirty inn. But the place was the only accommodation the fishing village had to offer, and even that room had been expensive. The lodging had been overrun by travellers from the very ship on which they had arrived.

As soon as they reached the long white strip of sand, Lloyd began to struggle in Anna's arms. He ran towards the water as soon as she set him down. Just as he reached the edge of the water, he halted and glanced back toward his parents with a very cheerful smile. However his pause had given Kratos enough time to catch up with him. Lloyd shrieked as his father scooped him up, and Anna laughed. "You can let him try the water, you know," she said with a smile. "Hopefully he'll get tired of it once he realizes how cold it is."

Kratos decided to take her word for that, and knelt in the damp sand to take off Lloyd's little red shoes. As soon as the child's feet were bare, he splashed into the lapping waves. The instant the cold water touched his feet, he shrieked, and stumbled back toward Kratos. "Daddy, it cold!"

"Yes, Lloyd, it is," he answered with a faint smile. "The water won't be warm for a while yet."

Slowly Lloyd began to make his way toward the water. After a few seconds, he turned back to Kratos. "It's a while!" he squealed, and scampered back into the ocean. This time, he remained in the shallows, even though his teeth were chattering. His father watched him with amusement, impressed at how determinedly he remained in the water.

However he was unprepared for Lloyd's next words: "Daddy, come in!"

"No, Lloyd," Kratos said as gently as possible.

The disappointment that radiated from the small boy was almost tangible. His eyes became downcast, and his hands, which had been happily chasing the foam that ran along the shore, stilled their activity. Kratos sighed, trying to think how to cheer him. Anna forestalled him by walking past him, giving him a sharp shove in the base of the spine as she did so. "It's all right, Lloyd," she said cheerfully. "If he won't come in, I will." She kicked off her boots and stepped gingerly into the water, wincing as she did so. "That's really cold," she muttered under her breath. Bending down, she caught some of the foamy sea water and dropped it into Lloyd's cupped hands. Kratos watched her narrowly. It would not surprise him if she tried to splash him or tell Lloyd to do so. Once or twice she glanced up as though contemplating it, but each time she raised her head, she met his eyes, and immediately looked away.

He did not hear the dull thud on the sand until it was directly behind him. There was barely time for him to catch a glimpse of Anna snatching Lloyd and whirling away before a heavy force struck his back and forced him face-downwards into the shallows. From the weight on his back, he knew exactly what to expect when he came up, and was thus able to accurately douse Noishe. Taking advantage of the protozoan's startled sneeze, he jumped up and stormed out of the water, trying to untangle his wet cloak. He did his best not to look back at Anna, who was failing miserably in her attempts to stifle her laughter. But Lloyd's voice could not help but bring a smile to his lips: "Mommy, Daddy mad?"

"Yes, it looks like it, Lloyd," Anna choked out. Her laughter was still apparent, though she seemed to have conquered her first fit of amusement.

Kratos had a brief struggle with his pride before he finally turned to the pair of them. He kept his eyes on Lloyd as he moved forward to join them. "Is this what you meant by playing with Lloyd?" he asked, unable to keep a note of annoyance out of his voice.

She laughed. "You figure it out."

And for the rest of the day, he did. But even as he tried to lose himself in watching Lloyd splash in the shallows, he could not help but glance over and over at the hills to the north and the streets of Izoold. They could not remain long in the town, but travelling by themselves could be difficult and dangerous in the surrounding area.

At last he was aware of Anna's voice breaking in on his thoughts. "You really aren't enjoying this, are you?" she asked quietly.

The disappointment was clear in her voice, and he bit back a sigh. But there was no use in denying it. "Anna, we need to decide how we are going to travel, and we have to do it soon. We could follow your suggestion about going to Iselia for religious reasons, but we would have to be careful."

Anna brushed a strand of damp brown hair out of her face. "Do you think that we should try to find a group to travel with, or should we go by ourselves?"

"We could probably travel more quickly if it was just us going our own route."

She sighed. "Probably. But I hate to think about what might happen if we ran into a Desian patrol on our own. It's Lloyd I'm thinking of- what would be safer for him?"

"At this point, it is hard to say."

"That's not particularly helpful," she commented wryly. "I don't really know, Kratos. I just…" Her voice trailed off and she looked towards Lloyd, who was sitting on the sand industriously tearing apart a leaf of seaweed. "We have to keep Lloyd safe," she said at last. "And I'm afraid that there's no easy way for us to do that."

A breeze began to whistle along the beach, swooping down from the coastal cliffs. Anna lifted Lloyd in her arms with a grunt. "Ah, you're getting heavy," she muttered. The little boy began to squirm, and she adjusted him in her arms with a sigh. "Come on," she said, but the cheerfulness in her voice seemed forced. Kratos gave her a sharp look, fully aware that his lack of responsiveness was probably the reason she was downcast. But he could think of nothing to say to her just then, and they made their slow way back to the inn.

The dining room of the lodging was crowded and noisy, and Kratos felt the constant chatter grating on his ears. There was a brief moment of amusement for him when Lloyd flatly refused to eat the pasta Anna had ordered for him, declaring the red sauce it was smothered in "yucky." Anna had burst out laughing at that, though she had been less pleased when Kratos refused to help her convince Lloyd to eat the dish. But weariness seemed to hang over all three of them, and Kratos was relieved when Anna told him that she was going to take Lloyd to their room.

After she left, he went outdoors for a moment, leaning against the wall of the lodging and watching the activity down by the docks at the edge of the town. The sun had vanished at some point during the dinner hour, and layers of grey clouds filled the sky. Slowly Kratos walked back to the beach where they had spent the afternoon, trying to organize his thoughts. They had to move quickly, of that he was certain. But there was no quick way to reach Iselia from this point on the continent; at the shortest possible estimate, the trip would take at least a month. If they tried to travel with a group, it would be harder for Cruxis to immediately pinpoint their location, but travel itself would take longer. No matter how they journeyed, they would be at risk. The more he thought, the more he was convinced that they would be safest travelling alone. They could avoid overpopulated areas and make their way along routes that would be safer and less well-known to travelers. Decided, he took a last glance at the dying light, and made his way back to the inn.

Lloyd was sound asleep on one of the beds when he entered, and Anna was lying on her side on the other. She had one hand pressed to her chest, and her face was pale. Her dark eyes flickered in Kratos's direction. "So where were you?" she whispered as he sat beside her. "Was anything wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I was merely trying to think of the least dangerous way for us to travel."

She nodded and sat upright with an effort. "Kratos, be honest… how much danger do you think we're in?"

"A great deal, but none of it is immediate. Even Mithos needs time to mobilize his forces. Those he commands do not have the same freedom of movement as he does, and he will have to delegate them, which will take him time. So we have a breathing space, but I don't know how long it will last."

Anna nodded and looked away, her face drawn. "I hate the waiting," she whispered after a moment. "I hate that we just have to guess- that we don't know what he's actually doing, and just have to hope that we're making the right choices. It's nerve-wracking, and I keep imagining all the different things that could go wrong."

"That will not help us, you know," he said gently.

"Try getting a nightmare of Lloyd being tormented in a human ranch out of your head. Sometimes I really envy you for not having to deal with dreams."

He could think of no way to reply to that. Anna sighed and began to rub her arms. "And Kratos, honestly, would it have killed you to play with Lloyd for a little while today? This is hard on him as it is. Can you try to spend time with him or something? I think it would make it easier for him- and it probably would help you bear all this a little better."

"I apologize."

Anna groaned. "Not to me, you idiot! Lloyd is the one you should apologize to, and you should do that by spending more time with him!" Her mouth twitched. "Although if you want to avoid beaches after today, I will understand that."

He laughed softly. "Good."

She lay down again, but Kratos remained seated, holding her hand. "Do you agree, then, that we should go on by ourselves?" he asked.

"You know what we're facing better than I do. You have a better idea of how quickly they can move and how well they can track us."

"Mithos will know that we would not stay in Palmacosta. I do not know if he would know that we had specifically come here, but he will probably find out that we have taken a ship. And I think if he finds that we have come to this continent, he will probably be able to guess why."

"Then he'll send troops to Iselia. Do we avoid it then, or hope we get there before he does?"

Kratos looked at her face, which was pale in the dim light. "Depending on what your exsphere does to you, we may not have a choice."

He felt her whole body tense when he said that. Reaching out, he ran a hand through her brown hair, watching as her thin hands clenched the blankets. The shadows in the corners of the room began to deepen as night fell.

At last Anna broke the silence. "Then we should go to Iselia soon." Her voice was brittle, as though she was trying to force herself to smile and only just failing. Kratos said nothing, but took her hand in his and remained beside her until she finally slept.

Three weeks later found them on the northern side of the Ossa mountains. They were, on the whole, making better time than Kratos had expected they would, but Anna's condition had grown much worse. The toll her exsphere had taken had become apparent when they were deep within the mountains. Though she rode Noishe whenever the terrain permitted her, it still seemed that she was growing thinner and weaker with every passing day. It took them far longer to pass through the peaks than Kratos would have liked, but there had been no easy way for Anna to travel. Even riding Noishe was difficult for her when they were climbing mountain trails, and when she walked, she tired quickly.

After those three weeks of steady travel, they made their way out of the mountains. The sun began to set, highlighting the sky with red and gold. The air began to grow cold, for it was still very early summer. Kratos held Lloyd while Anna walked beside them, listening to Lloyd cheerfully point out every aspect of the trees and rocks they passed. Darkness fell. The Ossa mountains loomed behind them at a distance, but they had gone enough north that the ground was fairly level. They halted near a large tree several yards away from the path. Anna fell asleep within minutes of their stopping. Kratos could only guess that it had something to do with her exsphere. She normally would toss and turn for a while before growing comfortable on the ground, but now she lay as limp as though she had fainted. He watched her for a moment, fighting down the worry that was churning in him. They had encountered almost nothing throughout the journey, and the more he thought about that the more fearful he became. He and Anna had defied Mithos to his face, and there was no way such an action would come without a consequence. The question was whether he could shield his family from that consequence, when it came.

Lloyd surprised him out of his thoughts by climbing up onto his lap. He settled himself comfortably against his father's chest and remaining silent for a few moments. Then he looked upwards, his large brown eyes wide. "Stars, Daddy," he said solemnly.

"Yes, Lloyd," Kratos replied softly. "There are stars. Do you want to see them more closely?"

"How?"

Kratos lifted Lloyd on his shoulders and stood up. The little boy gasped and grabbed at his father's head. "Daddy, I tall!" he almost shrieked.

"Sh, Lloyd. And yes, I suppose you are." He was unable to fight down his smile as he moved away from the tree where Anna slept.

Together they moved out into a silent field. The night was utterly still, without wind or motion in the long grass. Overhead the stars were shining with haunting clarity, studding the sky in various figures. Lloyd began to lean back on Kratos's shoulders, so much so that the father put up a hand to make sure the little boy would not fall. "Daddy," Lloyd murmured after a moment, "Daddy, lots of stars."

"There are. If you look closely, you can sometimes see pictures in the sky."

"Pictures? Like the ones Mommy draws?"

Kratos smiled thinly, thinking of the sketches of Lloyd that Anna drew at her son's request. "Not quite, though some are like that. If you look, there is one that is usually distinct." He craned his neck as much as possible with his son on his shoulders and scanned the sky. "Up there, just over that tree there is a warrior." He pointed to where three bright stars shone high above the tree. Two fainter stars hung just beneath the northernmost star, giving the faint illusion of a sword on a belt. Two stars arched above the row of stars at an angle, resembling a raised arm.

"That's you, Daddy?"

Kratos laughed softly, and felt a strange ache at his son's cheerful question. "No. I would not be in the sky, Lloyd, only heroes are put there."

"But you're Daddy."

"It needs more than that, Lloyd." Becoming a hero was something he had lost all claim to the moment he had allowed Mithos to fall into such insanity.

"Why?"

"Because…" Kratos felt his voice trailing off. He realized that he could not come up with any adequate reason why being a father was unworthy of being heroic, unless it was his own feeling that he was very far from a hero. "Because a father is someone who needs to be with his family. Would you want me to be in the sky? I could not see you then, or Mommy."

"Why? I come with you."

Kratos sighed and shook his head. "Lloyd, I would not want to be there anyway. I would rather stay with you and your mother."

"And Noshe?"

"And _Noishe_. Yes. But if I were in the sky, I could not be with you."

"So you stay?"

"Yes, Lloyd, I will."

Lloyd was silent for a moment, and Kratos felt him begin to slump a little. He lifted him down and settled the child against his shoulder. Lloyd stirred, yawned, and mumbled, "I love you, Daddy." Hearing those words never failed to make Kratos pause and simply think about how his child would love him for simply existing, for simply being his father.

But that time Kratos was given no chance to ponder. As he looked toward the constellation in the northeast one last time, his eye caught a flash of red on the eastern horizon. Even as he looked, he could hear the faint sound of voices. They were very faint, nothing more than a vague murmur on the wind, but they were clear. He watched for a moment. Somehow he had to find out who was there. Even though the newcomer was obviously far away, they could not afford to wait. But he had no wish to leave Lloyd and Anna again. "Noishe," he called softly.

In a few seconds, the protozoan came loping up from the tree where he had remained with Anna. "Can you find out who those people are without revealing yourself?"

Noishe winked a large black eye and slunk off in the direction of the fire. Kratos drew a deep breath. Lloyd was already asleep on his shoulder. Quietly he returned to Anna's side, watching the shadows for any sign of Noishe. The faint call of an owl drifted through the dark. Kratos glanced at the stars one last time. He might have no chance to be a hero, but at least he had the opportunity to make good as a father.

Several minutes later Noishe stole out of the trees from the east. His large black eyes were sharp, and he was panting a little. Kratos turned to him quickly. "Are those our enemies?"

The protozoan nodded and turned back toward the lone red light dancing on the horizon. Kratos hesitated for a moment before reaching out to touch Anna on the shoulder. She stirred a little, and he shook her gently. "Anna, we have to go, now."

She sat up, blinking. "Wha- why? What happened?"

"We need to leave this place now."

"Have we been caught? Are they-"

"They are some distance away, but close enough that we should move."

Anna rose, looking exhausted. Kratos grabbed their only pack and turned to the north and the west. He had no wish to flee across the desert; they did not have the supplies or the endurance for the trip. They moved along the very edge of the desert for almost an hour. The night seemed to grow more still with every passing minute. There was no trace of sound, not even a breath of wind.

Kratos heard the arrows long before he saw them. They were nothing more than a faint hiss in the night, until they clattered off the rocks directly beside them. Anna hissed sharply when one struck near her foot. Kratos dragged her down behind an angular lump of rock and thrust Lloyd into her arms. "Stay here!"

Anna gripped the rock with a shaking hand. "Where are the arrows coming from?"

Kratos was trying to determine just that. The desert was out of the question; he could see most of the desert stretching to his left. It was bare, and there was no cover on it for troops. Then he heard the sound of footsteps sprinting toward their rock from the north. The arrows had been nothing more than a diversion, then, keeping them pinned while the Desian troops moved towards them.

Furious that they were so delayed, Kratos laid a hand on his sword, listening intently. The ground to the northeast was uneven and pocketed with dips and hollows. He could cast a spell if he had to, though he was reluctant to reveal himself so openly unless he had no other option. Glancing over the edge of the rock, he caught a glimpse of five shadowed figures running across the ground from the east. They were making no effort to hide themselves, nor were they even trying to conceal themselves as they came pounding towards the rock behind which the family crouched. Kratos watched them narrowly. Five would be easy enough to handle, but he hesitated. No Desian commander in their right minds would send five troops after them. The upcoming Desians were most likely decoys to flush him out into the open. But he could not allow them to come close.

They drew nearer, and nearer still. Kratos met Anna's eyes, and saw her glance down at Lloyd, who was awake and staring up at them both. He looked her again, and she swallowed hard. "Go quickly," she whispered. "I'll keep Lloyd from hearing as best I can."

He pressed her hand before leaping out from behind the rock. The foremost two Desians barely had time to look up before his sword struck them down in quick succession. The others skidded to a halt and began to flee. But they did not make it far. Kratos struck one who was straggling brutally in the helmet, and he fell with a crash, tumbling forward into one of his fellows, who stumbled to the ground. A quick thrust from Kratos dispatched the one who was entangled with the body. He was about to deal with the last when he heard the sound of rushing feet from the north to his left. He looked up in time to see at least thirty Desians flying over the uneven ground towards him and his family.

There was no time for him to hide anymore; there was only one thing to do be done. He took a deep breath and gathered all his mana and energy and rage into one shout: "Grave!"

The earth before the Desians splintered, heaved, and shattered. Powerful spikes of rock blasted up into the faces of the Desians, battering against their amour and impaling those unlucky enough to be at the forefront of the charge. Others were flung several yards backward, and a few were caught screaming between two slabs of rock that fell with a dull thud against one another. Those who escaped stumbled backwards with incoherent cries. A few seemed to be trying to rally the force for another charge, but no one seemed particularly enthusiastic about approaching the now-still slabs of rock. Kratos watched them coldly, sorely tempted to pursue them immediately. But there was no need. Already they were beginning to regroup and move forward, skirting the rocks as they did so. Again he cast the spell, this time waiting until some of the Desians had come between the spires of rock. Screams of pain rang out into the night, grating on Kratos's sharp ears. He had to find a way to end this soon. Taking a deep breath, he began to chant softly: "Sacred powers, cast your purifying light upon these corrupt souls. Rest in peace, sinners…" He watched as at least fifteen Desians began to thread their way towards him warily. Whoever had given them orders must have held them under incredible fear for them to go on. The thought came and went through his mind as he finished gathering his power. "Judgment!"

Light rained down upon the field, temporarily lighting up the desert and the surrounding area. For a moment Kratos stood still, watching as the last beams died down. The rolling plain and the edge of the desert were deserted. He listened intently for a long time, but there was no sound anywhere. Even the Desians caught by the rocks had been silenced by death.

"Kratos, we can't stay here," Anna whispered from the rock. Even her ragged voice sounded like a shout in the night. "We can't take the risk. There could be others around."

He could not bring himself to say that there seemed to be no one else in the area, and that that worried him far more than the battle itself. There was no point in a squadron without a leader, and the apparent pointlessness of the attack was troubling. The attack had not even come from the vicinity of the fire; though now that he looked for it, the red glow was no longer present on the eastern horizon. And the worst was that Anna was right; they could not afford to stay. There were too many unknown factors in the presence of the squad, and for all he knew, Mithos or any of his lackeys might be speeding towards the area even then.

But as they began to move northward, going as quickly as possible, Kratos's thoughts were racing. The desperate makings of a plan had begun to take root in his mind: a plan that Anna would hate, and that necessitate his breaking every promise he had made to Lloyd that night. He did not wish to enact it unless there was no other option. But depending on who was among their pursuers, it might be the only hope for Anna and Lloyd's safety.


	41. The Summons

**Believe it, or not, my excuse for the delay is legit- two really insane work weeks right on top of each other. I'm sorry this took so long, though.**

**Captain Arbitrary: Really? I'm flattered- I have a very hard time writing action, so I'm glad the effort pays off. **

**DragonSong17: Very different indeed. It was really hard to get that chapter right...**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: You'll see, I swear. And I'm glad you liked the oyako- that scene was a lot of fun to write.**

**Shockwolf: Um... I wasn't yelling? **

**andy: You and me both. And yet the sad ending of this story is one of the main reasons I wanted to write it. I like tragedy... what can I say?**

**Own nothing. Shocking.**

"Mommy, my birthday soon?"

"It's coming, Lloyd," she replied with a smile. "In a month or so, you'll be three."

"I'm three?"

"You will be three," Kratos's deep voice said quietly from behind them both.

Anna grinned. "He's close." Lloyd wobbled perilously on Noishe's back, and Anna reached out to steady him. They were very close to the mountain trail that would lead them to Iselia. Throughout their travels, they had been intermittently attacked by Desian squadrons, but always it was impossible to say from where their attackers had come. They had encountered more than one patrol, and more than once they had been forced to travel miles out of their way to the east in order to evade a group of armored soldiers. Kratos had planned originally to skirt the desert and go north, but after three harrowing encounters in the course of a week, they had decided to cut further east and pursue winding circuitous paths to reach the beginning of the northern mountains. Ever since they had left the edge of the desert, the attacks had ceased altogether. Though she had asked Kratos many times what that might mean, he had declared himself as baffled as she.

She glanced up at the sky, wondering when it had become so dark. Thick grey clouds were layered all around, and a brisk wind had begun to blow. The ground was nearly barren, with dirt and dust all around them. Occasional raindrops fell, but the air felt dry. Taking a deep breath, she savored the strange weather.

A few paces ahead of her and Noishe, Kratos suddenly halted. "We've come to the beginning of the mountains."

She squinted into the horizon, but to no avail. "I can't see anything."

"It's hard to see them in this weather, but they are there." Kratos nodded slightly to the northwest, where Anna could vaguely distinguish a dark grey line on the horizon.

"That's good, then," she said after a moment. "And you said once we reach them, it'll take about two weeks to get to Iselia. We're close."

Kratos nodded, but his face was drawn, as though something was troubling him. She watched him for a moment. "Are you all right?" she finally asked. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, Anna."

His voice sounded strained, and she gave him a sharp look. "Kratos, if there is something wrong, you have to tell me about it." He looked away from her, and she groaned in exasperation. Turning aside, she focused her attention on Lloyd, who had slid awkwardly off Noishe's back and was turning a rock over on the ground. "Or are you going to say it's nothing again?"

She made little effort to keep the bitterness out of her voice, and did not turn around when Kratos put a hand on her arm. "It is not nothing," he said very gently. "But it may not be important now or ever. It's too hard to say now."

"That's not making me feel any better."

"I apologize." His voice suddenly was very close to her ear, and she could feel his breath on her neck.

"A kiss isn't an explanation, you know. But I wouldn't mind it."

She closed her eyes as Kratos drew close to her and brushed her hair back lightly before cupping her face in one hand. But just as she could feel the warmth of his lips brush hers, he suddenly tensed and drew back, focusing all his attention on the path ahead of him. She glanced around, startled, and saw that Noishe's hackles had begun to rise. A low growl came from the protozoan's throat as he turned to the southeast. Far in the distance she saw a group of at least fifteen Desians coming directly towards them. Despite their speed, their formation was controlled and their pace steady.

Kratos met her eyes for one instant, dropped his gaze to Lloyd, and then focused on the Desians again. Anna bit her lower lip, knowing that it would be impossible to shield Lloyd from everything that would occur here. But she did her best. Bending down, she covered his ears and knelt so she could force him to look at the ground, trusting Kratos and Noishe to see to it that they would not be harmed. He twisted in her hands, trying to pry her fingers away from his ears. Grabbing his hands tightly, she looked him in the eyes. "Lloyd, stop!" she said harshly, trying to keep herself from shaking. "You have to stay here and cover your eyes and whatever you do, don't look! Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mommy," he whispered. She kissed him quickly and sprang upright. Noishe growled, and Anna drew her knife. It was only by thinking of her son just a few feet behind her that she was able to keep her hand from shaking.

The Desians had halted a few yards away from them, far too close for Anna's liking. They were watching Kratos warily, but their hesitation did not seem to come from fear as much as from caution; they looked as though they were assessing the situation. Anna jumped when Kratos's voice filled the tense silence. "What do you want?"

One of the Desians on the front line spoke up. "You are a deserter and a thief. Our orders are for both you and the Angelus Project to be taken."

Anna was about to move forward when a sudden blast of fire tore through the air from the Desian ranks. Kratos yanked her out of the way barely in time. Splinters of rock cut her face and her right side as she stumbled to her husband's side. She whirled and saw that Noishe had shielded Lloyd. Tearing herself away from Kratos, she sprang to Lloyd and knelt beside him, frantically looking for any cut or injury. He had a thin scrape on his left temple, but otherwise appeared unharmed.

Straightening up, she saw that the Desians were retreating as though to attack in formation. Her eyes quickly noted and turned away from the two still figures now lying at Kratos's feet. Now she could scarcely tell if she was angry, frightened, heartbroken, or despairing. Her whole mind seemed to have frozen at the sight of the two bodies so close to her child, bodies of men who would try to enslave her son and kill him if they could have the chance. She wanted to scream at the Desians that all she wanted was to live in peace with her family. It took all her willpower to keep silent.

Suddenly the half-elves moved backwards, even though they had seemed bent on attacking seconds before. One of them raised a hand and looked past Kratos to some point behind them. Anna knew Kratos would not turn around, but she did so anxiously. As far as she could see there was nothing save for uneven ground and the edge of the desert. But Noishe had suddenly jerked his head southwards, as though he had heard something.

"Retreat!"

Anna whirled back just in time to see the Desians attacking them turn tail and march quickly toward the desert, winding their way through the rocky border of the sand as though they knew it well. Kratos took a step toward them, but even as he moved forward they vanished among the rocks. He turned and looked to the south and then suddenly lowered his sword. "Anna, we have to leave."

"What's out there? Why did those Desians leave?"

"Anna, the people attacking us may not have been Desians." He bent and lifted Lloyd, whose eyes were wide.

She stared at him. "But how could they not have been? They had the same uniforms- they had the same reason for looking for us! Who else could they have been?"

"A group that has harassed Cruxis for several centuries now. But they would only retreat unless they were in danger of something." He looked to the south again and his face grew hard. "Something like the real Desians."

Anna spun and turned to the southeast. "I can't see anything."

"They're far off, but visible. The group that attacked us must have had a lookout of some kind to warn them; we have to go to the mountains as quickly as we can."

They set off, heading towards the mountains at a rapid pace. After an hour, Anna's exsphere was burning so fiercely in her chest that she was forced to climb on Noishe's back. More than once she saw Kratos turn to her.

At last she could not take any more of his glances. "I'm not well," she snapped. "I'm not well, and we both know why. Please, can we just concentrate on getting up into the mountains safely? Then we can talk about- about the exsphere, about this-" she raised a hand weakly, "any of it. But now I just…" Her voice trailed off, and she stared up at the huge grey peaks that loomed overhead with frightening height. "I just want to get this over with," she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else. "I just want the running to stop, just for a little while." She thought back to every house they had stayed, every fleeting face she had never gotten the chance to know more fully. Every image and memory seemed to blend together into a weary line in which her only point of focus was Kratos and Lloyd beside her.

It was not until she slipped and Kratos caught her that she realized that she had been on the verge of falling asleep, and that they had stopped. All around were huge boulders and broken slabs of rock. Night was falling. Lloyd was seated on Kratos's dark blue cape with a slice of dried apple in his hands, while Kratos himself was in the process of fetching him something more substantial. Anna slid off the Noishe's back. Her legs felt weak and her knees strangely disjointed. Slowly she knelt beside Lloyd and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "You all right there?" she asked quietly. "You should probably go to sleep soon, you know."

He glanced at her with a smile. "I not tired."

"Oh, really?" She had to smile at the yawn that prevented her son from replying and ran a hand through his thick brown hair. "You might be just a little."

"I'm not tired!" Lloyd said firmly, giving her a glare that reminded her so much of Kratos that she burst out laughing. Kratos looked up from the pack, and Anna found herself fixed between two opposing identical stares. Her shoulders were shaking in her efforts to repress her laughter, but she was able to remain silent. She lifted Lloyd into her lap and watched him eat a meal of bread and preserved meats that, to her, looked far too small. Wind whistled between the rocks and she drew Lloyd a little closer as she watched the sky darken.

Within minutes her son had fallen asleep on her lap. Anna shifted him gently to the crook of her right arm and looked across the open space in the circle of rock. "Kratos," she said softly. "Ever since that battle you haven't said anything to me, nor to Lloyd as far as I can remember. Why?"

When he did not respond, she had to fight the urge to throw something at him. "Kratos, what is it? Can you please just tell me what's the matter, on your own for once, where I don't have to beg you?"

At that he did turn to her. "It is somewhat late for that now."

Anna had to fight a smile. "Maybe. But if you go on, I wouldn't have to nag you."

Her face fell when he remained silent. Watching him closely, she began to feel a thread of fear that had nothing to do with their pursuers or the attacks. "Please," she said very quietly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"As we are travelling, we may not be able to reach Iselia before we are caught."

His voice was toneless. Anna felt as though her fear was coiling and constricting her heart. "What do you mean?"

"Anna, we are not travelling fast enough. The Desians who were behind us have camped at the foot of the mountain."

He gestured to her and she carefully set Lloyd down and joined him at the boulder. They were at the edge of a shelf of rock just to one side of the trail that extended northwards. Far below she could see spots of light in the darkness below, flickering red light. When she realized they were campfires, she immediately moved back, feeling dizzy. "That's them. So we don't have a choice but to go on."

"At the pace we are going, they will catch up to us eventually."

Anna shook her head, feeling sick. "Don't say that," she said harshly. "You don't know that. If we left now, we could get some distance between us and them."

"We can leave now, and we will, but your exsphere is going to slow us down eventually. The more stress you undergo, the more powerful it will become."

"But we can't do anything about that, unless we get to Iselia and find a dwarf!"

"Then I have to make sure that you reach the village."

Anna stared at him a moment. "What are you talking about?"

Kratos moved past her toward the small space where Lloyd was curled on his cape. Kneeling beside him, he moved the cloth up over his son's shoulders. Anna watched him with a feeling of apprehension that was growing worse with every passing second. "Kratos," she whispered. "What did you mean? Just say it!"

He looked up at her, but the shadows from the rocks fell across his face and eyes. "If I turn myself in to Mithos, in exchange for you and Lloyd going unharmed, you may be able to reach Iselia in safety."

Anna felt as though he had hit her. "You're going to give yourself up."

Kratos was silent.

Slowly she leaned back against a rock. Her hands were shaking. Never in her life had she been so angry and so lost. She drew a ragged breath. "You'd be leaving me and Lloyd to face whatever came after on our own. You do realize that? That we'd be completely alone? If you leave, we won't have a chance at surviving."

"I can make it a condition that Mithos will not harm you."

"And what makes you think he'd take that?" she snapped. "Kratos, if you're serious, you either haven't thought this through or you're just giving up and leaving us to face whatever's coming because you can't handle watching it yourself!"

At that he visibly flinched. "If you mean that I do not want to watch you and Lloyd be killed when I could have done something to stop it, then yes, you are right; I could not handle watching that."

"If you leave, you'll be abandoning us to the Desians, Kratos; how can you not see that?"

"Iselia is one of the few safe places on the continent, because of the Chosen. They formed a non-aggression treaty with the Desians at the time of the Chosen's birth. You and Lloyd would be safe there."

"For how long? Do you really think the Chosen's presence will stop them? They won't care. They'll just go in on their own."

"The penalty for endangering the Chosen before the proper time is severe, Anna; I know that."

"Of course you would," she spat. "You probably set the rule, so the Chosen wouldn't die until 'the proper time.'"

Kratos stood then, and when he spoke, his voice was cold. "Regardless, you and Lloyd are not going to be safe as we are. As long as I stay with you, you both are at risk. It may be easier to convince Mithos to spare you if I go to him voluntarily."

"It may be easier," she repeated. Turning away, she grabbed the pack from the ground with trembling fingers. "Come on," she said bitterly. "If the Desians are that close we should get going and get a head start." To her fury, her eyes began to water, and pain suddenly lanced through her chest. The edges of the stone felt as though they were burning into her skin. Her vision blurred as a sickening dizziness took her. Staggering, she leaned against one of the rocks.

When the blackness passed, she saw Kratos beside her. "Anna, you have to stay calm. Your exsphere is eating away at you as it is, and your stress will only make it worse."

"How can you expect me to stay calm when you say you'll leave?"

"I did not say I would."

Almost without thinking she raised her hand to strike him, then let it drop suddenly. "You're impossible. Don't- don't even try to deny it. Just- please, let's get going."

Throughout the rest of the night they were silent, travelling along the trail as quickly as they could. More than once Anna thought about trying to make some kind of amends to her words, but she felt herself shaking with anger every time it crossed her mind that he was truly considering leaving. Though her reason told her it was to protect her and Lloyd, she could not deny that it felt like abandonment. Words rose and fell; nothing she could say seemed right.

Late the next day, they halted briefly on the left of the wide trail at the base of a looming peak. Anna slid off Noishe and closed her eyes as she sank to her knees. Even raising a hand was laborious, and she fought to stay awake. At last she took a deep breath and looked up at Kratos. "Are you really going to leave?"

He knelt in front of her and smoothed her hair back with his right hand, letting his fingers trace the side of her cheek and slide to her shoulder. "I do not want to. But if I have to do that, to keep you and Lloyd safe, I will."

A brief silence fell, and Anna could feel her tears rising. At last she rose, keeping her eyes focused on the ground, on anywhere but his face. "Ever since I realized I loved you, I never thought that we wouldn't be together. I think I just always thought that somehow, it would work."

Kratos pressed her hand, but said nothing. In silence she clambered onto Noishe's back and they resumed their journey northward.

Several anxious days went by. Between her exsphere's attacks on her body and the weariness of constant travel, Anna could barely recall them. It was difficult for her to sleep because of the fiery burning in the center of her chest. At times her heart would fall out of rhythm for terrifyingly long moments. And she felt she did not have the courage to ask Kratos what he intended to do. From the sparseness of his words and his almost constant watchfulness, she began to realize that there might be nothing he could now do to stop this desperate chase.

Almost two weeks after they had first entered the mountains, they were passing under a large triangular mountain that reared upwards beside two others that were similar in height when a rumbling sound came from the peak above them. An avalanche of rocks and boulders crashed to the path just behind them. Kratos grabbed Anna's arm and dragged her forward after Noishe, who had Lloyd on his back and was already several yards ahead. Anna glanced back as she ran to see how close they had been to the rocks. They were small enough that she began to breathe a sigh of relief, which turned into a grunt when she cannoned into Kratos's back. Staggering backwards, she saw why he had stopped.

There was a squadron of Desians standing before them, blocking their way. Anna swallowed hard and moved beside Noishe to pull Lloyd close to her. For several heartbeats there was no sound but the screaming of the wind on the edge of the cliff path.

Then one of the Desians stepped forward. "Secure the Angelus Project!"

Anna saw Kratos move forward and turned away, praying with all her heart that Lloyd could not yet see what was happening. But from the terror in his large eyes and his complete silence, she guessed that he already knew.

Suddenly she realized that Kratos was shouting her name. Straightening up, she saw that several half-elves had already fallen, and the rest were stumbling back towards the only available retreat, a cleft in the mountains.

Kratos turned towards her and his voice and eyes were filled with a deadly calm. "Anna, get on Noishe with Lloyd and go along the trail while you can. Noishe, Iselia is about six hours away, at the foot of these mountains. I'll meet you there."

"Wait!" Anna shouted. "What's going on?" But even as she spoke, she looked up to the gap in the rock face where the Desians had run and saw that there were many half-elves waiting for the right moment to move forward. Far more than could be fought on the trail. Though the path was wide, there was nowhere she and Lloyd could hide. They would have to go on, or else be caught up in the battle. And if they were swept up in the chaos, there was no guarantee they would live.

"Anna, hurry!"

Taking a deep breath, she nodded and embraced Kratos, kissing him hastily. "See you soon," she whispered, and caught Lloyd in her arms. Noishe knelt quickly and she climbed on his back. As soon as she was settled, the protozoan began to run, so swiftly that she could barely keep balanced with Lloyd in her arms.

For several minutes there was no sound but the wind rushing past them as Noishe raced along the clifftop. Anna glanced at the depth that lay to her right and had to look away.

"Mommy? Mommy! Where's Daddy?"

Lloyd's voice sounded terrified, and Anna tightened her left arm around his waist. "He's all right, Lloyd," she said as firmly as she could. "He's coming. We'll see him in a bit once we reach Iselia. And there maybe we can rest for a little."

Suddenly Noishe gave a howl and fell. Anna was flung off his back and lost her grip on Lloyd. Rolling over several sharp stones, she gasped for the air that had been so suddenly driven from her lungs. She staggered to her feet and cried out in horror. She was directly on the edge of the cliff. "Lloyd!" she screamed, dashing forward. "Lloyd, where are you?"

A growl behind her caused her to whirl. Noishe was kneeling, his left hind leg stuck out an angle. A long crossbow shaft was sticking from it. Lloyd was just between his forepaws, and was already beginning to cry. His face was scraped and so were his arms, but otherwise he appeared unharmed.

Almost sobbing with relief herself, Anna moved towards him. A low laugh came from the opposite end of the path. "So here you are, again, with your wretched whelp. It seems some things never change in our meetings."

Swallowing hard, she turned toward her left, toward the mountains. At the base of the looming rock was Kvar along with two soldiers. Both were armed with short spears, and one was lowering the crossbow that had shot down Noishe. Kvar himself stood bareheaded, with no weapon save his spear. His eyes were cold, making the faint smile on his lips all the more chilling.

Anna drew a deep breath, trying to think, separate herself from her fear. "You've wanted me," she said at last. "Here I am. My son's nothing to you. Let him go." Keeping an eye on the Desians she moved to Lloyd and bent to take the bolt out of Noishe's leg.

Kvar did not even blink. "Your offspring is of no interest to me, you say. The child of the Angelus Project, I believe, could be very useful."

Anna shook her head, her mind racing. Unless Noishe could run, there was no hope for her to save Lloyd, unless she could call Kratos. And then delay Kvar.

Lowering her head submissively she sank to her knees, her hands shaking on the rocks. She saw Kvar take two steps towards her. Gripping a large stone, Anna sprang to her feet and flung the rock at the advancing Desian. As he ducked, she drew her knife. "Noishe, go!" she screamed as loudly as she could. "Save Lloyd, get him out! I can't hold Kvar off for long!"

She was vaguely aware of the protozoan getting to his feet, but had no time to look back. Kvar's staff struck her on the side of the head and she fell, half-blinded by the vicious blow. Before she realized what had happened, his hands had torn open the front of her tunic. His clammy fingers were on her chest, fingering the exsphere embedded there. The edges of the stone seemed burning hot in contrast to the half-elf's cold skin.

Kvar's taunting voice permeated her daze. "Regardless of your offspring- this project is mine. And believe me, A012- I always claim what is mine." His fingers tightened, dug into her skin, and ripped out the exsphere.

Desperately, she flailed with her right hand. Her groping fingers found the hilt of her knife, which she had dropped when Kvar had struck her. Seizing it, she stabbed at Kvar with all the strength she could muster. Her desperation must have given her blow tremendous force, for the Desian screamed and rolled away from her. Something fell from his fingers, struck her forehead, and fell to the ground beside her. Anna rolled over and saw the glittering blue gem among the pebbles just below her eyes. Without hesitation, she grabbed the stone and threw it as hard as she could over the edge of the cliff.

Breathing heavily, she staggered to her feet and then fell again. Her body seemed to have suddenly given out. No matter how hard she tried, she could not move, only lie twitching feebly on the rocky path. From a distance she heard Lloyd calling her name.

Then a fire seemed to rip through her veins, spreading from her chest and permeating every corner of her body. It was impossible to breathe; her lungs could not expand or draw in air. Clawing the ground, she tried to move, but could not do so. Then she began to feel a series of snaps, cracks, and horrific twists. It was as though she was being torn apart from the inside out. Now her arms were moving of their own volition. Her joints were snapping, tearing and wrenching, and the pain they caused was almost unbearable. Even screaming was impossible; all of her bones felt as though they were splintering and melting. The grey cliffs and dark forest at the foot of the cliffs were fading. Every sound was coming through a haze of agony from which she could not escape. Somewhere at her feet there was a vague shouting sound. Whirling, she saw two dim figures approaching through a mist while a third slunk away. One of the figures lunged at her and she felt a stab of pain in her leg. The other ran forward, gashing her in the side. Blinded by her pain, she swept them both behind her and paid them no more heed. The pain had spread to every corner of her body, and the fire racing through her veins was enough to drive her mad.

A growling noise came from her feet. Startled, she lashed out, and heard another sound, a faint call. Unable to tell where it was coming from, she turned. The call came again, very close to her, and she lashed out in terror. Surely she was in enough agony; she did not need another attacker.

The call came again, but this time she could not bear to face it. Falling to her knees, she tried to focus through the pain that was splitting through her head and lancing out from her heart. But the cry was coming again and again, and though the fire was still raging through her, she knew she had to stop the voice before it could put her through more anguish. Yet the more the voice called, the more familiar it sounded. Surely she had known that voice. And surely she had known the name it was calling.

"Anna! Anna, stop! Anna!"

Gasping, she tried to contain her longing to strike at anything. It was a struggle to focus past the fire tearing through her, but she was able to do so. Through a shadowy mist in her vision, Anna saw Kratos standing at the base of the mountain, one hand on his shoulder, which was bleeding heavily. She could not fathom why he was so far below her until she saw her hand. A huge clawed hand with bloodstained talons. She had become a monster.

Horrified, she fell to her knees. One look at Kratos's eyes had been enough for her, the suffering there was more than she could face again. She tried to turn her head, but could see no sign of Lloyd. The sheer effort of looking had been too much, and she collapsed. That was when she saw Lloyd just behind her. Then the fire began to race through her again, and she tried to rise, longing to scream. Kratos was speaking, but she could only hear him say her name before the rest of his words were lost in the roaring that was dominating her head and splitting at her comprehension. Summoning all her energy, she remained still and tried with all her might to speak.

For one horrific instant, nothing happened. Then somehow a voice seemed to rise, tearing itself out of her throat, and she knew what she had to ask. "Kratos, you have to kill me."

His figure was dim and difficult to decipher through the mist, but she could hear his voice plainly for the first time since her transformation. The sorrow in it almost broke her heart. "Anna, how could I kill you?"

"Kratos, you have to! Please! You don't know how hard this is! Even speaking-" She felt her huge limbs shaking, and wondered if this was the only way she could weep. "Please. Before I hurt you or Lloyd. Please!"

He stepped forward, then halted again. But now the mist was overtaking her vision, and her heart seemed to contract, then flare suddenly, shooting pain through her entire body. It felt as though someone had plunged her entire body into a fire and then planted a hot ember within her chest. At that she finally did scream, and stumbled blindly, lashing out, seeking something, anything to save her from the burning.

Something sprang before her, and a cold chill, so sharp it was like ice, pierced her, spreading from her chest to every part of her body. Completely disoriented, she fell backwards. Her elongated arms struck something, there was a loud crack, and suddenly she was falling and the wind was rushing past her. With a sickening crunch, she struck the ground. The grey sky above and the treetops framing it whirled and faded for a few seconds, or a few hours. Slowly she fought her way back to consciousness.

A strand of hair was tickling her face, and she longed to brush it away, but could only move her head to the side. That was when she saw her legs, and realized that she was no longer lost in fire. She was herself again. But the joy of that realization was cut short when she saw the angle at which her legs stuck away from her body. Nor could her arms move. Her back must have broken in the fall. A dampness was spreading beneath her, and she could feel a gaping hole in her abdomen. Every gulp of air was a battle.

She looked around wearily. She was at the bottom of the cliff, and a flash of green and white lay in the corner of her vision. Straining, she saw that it was Noishe. Lloyd was lying between his forepaws, completely still. Her heart almost stopped. "Please," she whispered, "Please, if there is anyone, any goddess to hear me, let my son be alive." Her vision blurred and flickered, and she fought to remain awake, at least until she knew whether Lloyd was alive or dead. But she could tell that something was calling her, and she longed to give into the summons. To remain was so much effort.

"Hey! Lady! Hey!"

The thick gruff voice startled her enough to make her focus. Just above her was a bearded face, with small eyes. She could tell that a large hand was covering her own, and she turned her head slowly, feeling as though she would die from the weariness of the action. It was a dwarf.

She could have laughed. It had been a matter of minutes then, that had separated her from life, that had determined this ending. And now it seemed she had only minutes, if not seconds, to tell him what was important. "Lloyd," she whispered. "Is he all right?"

The dwarf vanished from her vision and she heard his footsteps moving away and then coming back more slowly. "The kid's fine. Listen, lady, who are ya? I've gotta get ya help, just hold on. Your son was holding the stone, it might help ya!" Anna caught a flash of blue in a large rough-looking palm.

"I don't have time," she whispered. "I'm Anna, that child's mother. Please, take Lloyd- and that-that exsphere. Keep them safe…" Her voice was failing now, and she could not stop it. Though she had to tell the dwarf about what had happened, and who to wait for, she simply could not do it. Her life was pulsing out of her with every breath, and she had no more strength. Her eyes closed of their own accord. Calling on all her strength, she fixed Kratos and Lloyd's faces in their mind, willing them both to know that they had meant the world to her. Keeping every memory of their love close, she finally gave in, and allowed herself to follow the summons.


	42. Failure

**Some of the dialogue in here is my embellishment of the ToS drama CD, which AngelofaWhiteNight was kind enough to give me a transcript of some time ago- just so no one yells at me for plagiarizing. Only one line is an exact copy as far as I know.**

**Kiomori: The irony of how close they got is heartbreaking... I'm glad I was able to convey that a little. For the end, there's this chapter and one more, so it is very close to being finished.**

**AngelofaWhiteNight: I can think of several names for Kvar that would be completely accurate and would skyrocket the rating of this fic. And thank you- my writing still has a really long way to go, but I'm glad there's been improvement over the course of this story.**

**andy: I'm sorry! You weren't the only one- my friend/beta wasn't expecting her death either at that point.  
**

**Shockwolf: Yeah, that's fine! But like I said, this is ending really soon, so just keep that in mind. **

**Own nothing.**

Kratos landed hard at the base of the cliff, willing himself not to think of anything save of finding them. There would be time to dwell on the implications of everything that had occurred on the cliff top later. After he found his family there would be time to think.

The only sight that met his eyes was a barren stretch of rock between the cliff and the forest, rubble from where the cliff had cracked at Anna's fall, and three wolves tearing apart two corpses.

Even then he did not allow himself to think on the horror that was hovering just on the edge of his mind. Instead he leapt forward, driving his sword down on the skull of the first wolf and slicing the head off the second. The third fled howling into the shadowy trees. Kratos paid it no more mind. Heaving the carcasses aside, he forced himself to look at the mangled corpses that lay beneath the dead animals, and let himself breathe freely for one instant when he saw the bent and twisted armor. These, then, were the Desians Anna had swept down before her fall.

Turning away, he stood and forced himself to listen, to be silent, and breathe slowly. Then the sky opened up above his head. There was no clap of thunder or blast of lightning. There was nothing but the sudden chill of pouring rain dripping down from the dark leaves, spattering on the rocks, and mixing with the blood on his mangled shoulder. Anger and urgency overwhelmed him, and he began to run, sprinting into the trees without a second thought, leaving all of his caution behind. "Lloyd!" he shouted, and his voice seemed to be choked by the twisting roots and dripping branches. "Lloyd!"

Silence answered him, and for the first time in hundreds of years, Kratos felt terrified. He had thought he had known fear after he had begun to care for Anna, but those moments of tension were nothing to the sick sensation that was ravaging his heart and catching at his breath. He felt as though he was being suffocated by something tangible and invisible. "Lloyd!" he shouted again.

The only response was the sound of falling rain.

Slowly, he lowered his sword, straining his ears for the sound of a child crying, or even the sound of breathing. Every second of silence seemed to rip a hole in his chest, but he remained still for a long moment, listening.

Then he began to move, darting from tree to tree, ripping apart every shadow with his eyes and whirling towards every movement. With every stride he grew more frantic. After some time he was running, simply running, stumbling through the trees, calling Lloyd's name ceaselessly.

There was no answer.

He sprinted back to the base of the cliff, looking north and south for any sign of his child. Southward the cliff was jagged, with many outcroppings and nooks in the wall. Surely a little boy, frightened and dazed, might crawl among those rocks to hide from the world.

For what seemed like hours, Kratos searched the grey stones. He peered into every crevice, looked behind every rock. And all the while, the image of Lloyd's smile seemed to hover just on the surface of his thoughts, spurring him on to greater efforts and feeding his fear with every breath he took. The rain was falling in sheets, drenching his cloak in blood and water and slapping his exposed wound with bitter needles of cold.

After coming nearly half a mile down the cliff, he had to stop. No child of Lloyd's age could possibly have come so far in the few minutes it had taken him to dispose of the remnants of Kvar's troops and descend to the bottom of the ravine. Dashing his soaked hair from his eyes, he gave the broken cliff and tangled forest one last glance before running back to the rubble that marked the point of Anna and Lloyd's fall. The broken rocks were spread along the blood-soaked ground. Kratos had seen battles and horrors enough for a hundred lifetimes, but he could not bear to look at the mangled Desian corpses for more than an instant. For if he looked, he would begin to imagine what might have happened to his wife and son if they had survived the fall. And he could not face that yet.

But the minutes continued to fall past as steadily as the rain. He examined the northern wall of the cliff minutely, but the rock face here was smoother and the ground straighter and more even. There was no place for a child to hide.

Running back, he forced himself to examine the shredded corpses more closely. There was no trace of a monstrous form, or of the bodies of a woman or child. But the ground itself was soaked and the blood and rain had already begun to sink among the broken rocks. There was no way to tell what had been dragged away or what was left. Kratos almost began to allow himself to form the thought that there might have been other wolves or monsters present. But the images of what might have befallen Anna and Lloyd then were still too frightening to face.

At that moment, he stepped on something small and rounded that gave a little under his weight. He looked down. Beneath his foot was a small red shoe, torn and bloodstained.

Feeling numb, he bent to take the tiny object in his hand. The vision of Anna putting these shoes on Lloyd's feet that morning suddenly rose in his mind. She had been kneeling in front of a round boulder where Lloyd was sitting, kicking his feet idly. Anna had been laughing up at him, catching him in her arms and whirling with the little boy, despite her weariness from the parasitic stone.

A fierce wind drove the raindrops sharply against his face, slapping him back to reality. He was kneeling in the rubble of a broken cliff beside two bloody bodies, holding his child's shoe in his hand. He had just killed his wife to save their son. Who he then had lost.

"Anna," he whispered at last. Saying her name was one of the most difficult things he had ever done, but the second name that rolled off his tongue was enough to break him. "Lloyd."

His son was dead. Clenching the shoe in his hand so tightly that his fingernails dug into the cloth, Kratos bowed his head to the ground. His wife had died by his own hand. With the very weapon with which he had thought to protect her, he had struck her down. And the anguish of that thought was enough to overwhelm him. No matter how hard he tried, Kratos could not shake the expectation that he would hear Anna's voice shaking him out of a nightmare, or feel Lloyd's hand on his shoulder, plucking at his shirt and asking to be held. But this was no nightmare, and there was no one to wake him.

He never knew how long he remained kneeling at the base of the cliff, crushing the shoe in his hand. But when the rain stopped, he rose to his feet, barely seeing anything before him. For one instant he was about to turn to Iselia. Then he remembered that there was no longer any reason to travel there.

Slowly he began to walk, merely for the sake of moving. As he moved, he found his breathing grew shallower and shallower. He thought about screaming, but there was simply no point. Only a faint whisper escaped his throat: "Why this?"

To that question, he could think of no answer. Once he looked back, at the shattered rocks and gap in the cliff where the chunk of the path had fallen. The Desians seemed to have fled; at any rate there was no sound from the top of the cliff. The forest was silent and brooding in the east, and nothing came from it. There was no cry, no child stumbling from the shadows, and no whisper of anything. He was left alone between darkness and rocks, in complete silence. Lloyd and Anna were both dead, and even though he was willing to tear apart mountains or be tortured a thousand years for them, nothing would change that. They were gone.

He kept walking along the base of the cliff, without any clear thought about where he was going. The wretched-looking sky darkened. Night began to fall, and Kratos found himself looking for the stars, even though the sight of them would have been almost more than he could bear. But the clouds were thick overhead and a suggestion of thunder hung in the air. There were no heroes in the sky that night.

Slowly he made his way out of the mountains. It took him the better part of a week, far less time than it had taken them travel, but Kratos barely noticed. But when he reached the edge of the desert, he had to halt and give some thought to what he would do. The truth was that he had no idea. He gazed out at the miles of sand to the east. There was nothing in the desert save for Triet, the little city near the seal of Fire, and there was no point in going there now. At last he simply began to walk again, not knowing or caring where. The shoe was still clenched in his hand. He could not let it go, even though it only served to remind him of Lloyd and Anna and his failure.

The sun rose and fell and was hidden by clouds and passed over his head without him paying it any attention. Anna and Lloyd seemed to haunt him by their absence. The very fact that they were gone was all that he could dwell upon. He felt literally nothing else. Anna's laugh would never again catch him off guard, nor would Lloyd's questions ever again make him smile and ponder.

He was almost surprised when he came over the crest of a slope and saw the ocean spread out at the foot of the high ground. The setting sun was directly in his eyes. He knew that Anna would have watched the sky until the sun had set, and that Lloyd would have stared enraptured for a few seconds before losing interest and playing with Noishe in the tangled grass. Kneeling down, he shrugged the sack off his shoulders and put the little red shoe inside. He had no wish to look at it anymore, and he could not see the point of walking any longer. In any case, he could go no farther. He had arrived at the western shore of the continent.

The sun dipped behind the clouds. Darkness fell and a cold wind began to blow, howling as it swooped down on the clifftop. Kratos remained still. The waves crashed and fell against the stones far below him in an endless succession of wet crashes. Spray flew up on the breeze and struck his face. And somewhere on the land behind there was the sound of marching feet approaching him. He stirred slightly and felt the dried blood from his shoulder crack on his stiff clothes. Looking behind him, he caught a glimpse of armor and several ranks. His first instinct was to reach for his sword, but then his hand slackened. Slaughtering them would not ease his sorrow for long. He might lose himself temporarily in the battle, but the Desians would not distract him forever.

Then a voice that he knew came out of the shadows behind him. It was not speaking to him, but to the soldiers. "Halt here."

Silence fell. Kratos did not turn around. He recognized the voice, but saw no point in acknowledging it.

Footsteps came close behind him, and closer still. He remained kneeling, staring out at nothing. The wind began to die down, and a cold chill that had nothing to do with the weather settled on the back of his neck. Kratos guessed from the curve of the blade that it was no ordinary weapon, and it only confirmed what he knew about the person behind him. For a long time both he and the owner of the voice remained motionless.

At last Yuan's voice cut into the night. "Are you dead?"

Kratos did not miss the sarcastic intonations, or the genuine confusion, in the half-elf's voice. He said nothing. The cold steel on his neck shifted a little, and when Yuan spoke again, his voice was quiet and toneless. "I heard about what happened."

He paused, but Kratos still kept his silence. The feeling of suffocation only increased, and he felt a slow numb anger that was only compounded by Yuan's presence. He found himself wishing that his former friend would simply kill or capture him, and be done with it.

The steel suddenly lifted from his neck. Yuan's command of "Move back" sounded as though it was coming from a great distance away. Kratos heard the sound of retreating footsteps, and finally looked around. The half-elves under Yuan's command had moved out of earshot, just at the foot of the slope. Yuan was standing beside him, his blue hair whipping in the wind and his green eyes icy. Night had truly fallen, and the ocean and sky were dark.

Finally Kratos stirred himself to speak, and his voice sounded hoarse and lifeless. "What do you want?"

"Lord Yggdrasill sent me. He wants you brought before him, alive and as undamaged as possible."

Kratos said nothing.

"Did you hear what I said, Kratos? I'm going to take you to him."

He paused, but Kratos could think of nothing to say. Yuan stared at him and finally rested his weapon on the ground. "Kratos, are you going to just let this happen? Are you really going to sit here and do nothing to fight back?"

At that, the swordsman turned to stare at him. "What do I have to fight for?"

"What do you- Kratos, your wife and son were both killed because of this madman!" Yuan's voice was a hiss that cut like a knife through the air. "Are you just going to let him go on this way? You could do something to stop it!"

"What point is there?" Kratos felt his numb anger begin to fester, and he turned to look at Yuan more fully. "What I do I have to fight for when everything in the world is warped and twisted? What is there to fight for when everything has lost its beauty and meaning? There is nothing anymore. Kill me if you wish."

His voice felt flat and strange coming out of his mouth. Turning his back on Yuan, he stared at the ground without seeing it. The only images in his mind now were those of a child with terrified eyes, the spurt of blood on a silver sword, and throughout both ran the sounds of a gasping request for death from someone who had brought more joy to life than Kratos could ever have imagined. Yuan's words were no more than a whisper that ran under that horrific memory: "There is no need for me to kill you, Kratos- you are already dead."

He felt the half-elf seize him by the arm. For a moment he thought about fighting back, simply so that he could be left alone. But before he had the chance there was a rush of light, air, and a sickening sensation of scattering. They had warped. His fellow seraph must have had some kind of teleporting device. For a moment, he had no idea of his bearings and simply waited until the strange light-headedness that always came with such transport died down. The bright light that whirled all around darkened and solidified into beautifully carved white pillars and a smooth walkway. He was standing in Yggdrasill's hall.

Yuan let go of him and walked away. Kratos did not bother looking after him. He stood still in the center of the hall and listened to the footsteps of his former leader approaching him. It was easy to sense Yggdrassill's presence only a few feet away from him, but it was surprising, in a vague way, how little that mattered to him now.

At last Yggdrassill's low voice broke in on his thoughts. "Kratos? What do you have to say for yourself?"

He did not answer, though the anger that Yuan had begun to stir was now beginning to fester even more.

Yggdrassill waited a long time, but Kratos simply ignored him. The blond angel regarded the swordsman for a long time before turning and stalking back to his throne. Slumping in his seat, he glared at Kratos. Minutes passed and turned into hours.

Suddenly Yggdrassill leapt to his feet. Lightning and energy blasted from his outstretched hand. Kratos barely had time to see it before it struck him hard, scorching his body and ripping open the wound in his shoulder. He dropped to his knees from reflex, and Yggdrassill struck again, this time with a milder form of Judgment that lanced through all his limbs and leaving him gasping on the ground. Kratos felt as though a thousand invisible spears had been driven through his arms and heart, leaving no wound but the pain. Closing his eyes, he waited for the fiery stabs to recede.

Eventually they died away, and Kratos rose, his hands shaking. Not once did he look at the angel, though he heard the insane ruler leap up and stride towards him. The voice of his former pupil, when it came, was filled with hatred. "You betrayed me," he said softly. "You betrayed me and Martel, Kratos. You've broken every promise you ever made and you don't even care. You did it for that filthy failure of a project, that might even have helped bring Martel back!"

Kratos was glad that his hands had not been bound. As it was, he was able to wound Yggdrassill three times before the leader of Cruxis sprang back and began to strike out with every spell and attack he possessed. The swordsman did not remember much of the battle that followed. His eyes and mind were no longer focused on anything, and he had soon fallen. It had not taken him long to realize that he would not be killed, and in any case, there was no reason for him to be battling.

He came to himself more fully in a cell that he knew was somewhere deep within the recesses of Derris-Kharlan. It was dark and cramped, with one barred wall looking onto a hallway and three walls of solid steel. His body ached from Yggdrassill's attacks, and there was no light in or around the cell. Slowly he drew himself to a sitting position, and felt something slide against his neck.

His fingers reached for his throat reflexively and came in contact with a metal chain. Swallowing hard, he traced the thin links up to the clasp to unfasten it and found that his fingers were shaking. Taking a deep breath, he willed his hands to still themselves. By moving each finger slowly, he was able to unfasten the clasp. The pendant and chain slipped from his neck and fell with a ringing clack to the floor. Kratos bent to gather them up, feeling strangely fragile as he did so. For a long moment he sat with his head lowered, clenching the metal in his hand until the carvings in the pendant were indented in his skin. Then he opened the locket.

Anna, smiling and merry-eyed, gazed out at him, as direct and innocent as she had been in life. Her rich brown eyes were shining, and Kratos almost imagined he could feel the soft hair he had so often smoothed back from her face. Lloyd was in their arms, looking wide-eyed and cheerful. One of his tiny fists was visible, clutching and crinkling his blanket. For a brief instant Kratos remembered his laugh, and the way he had thrown back his head whenever he had had a question to ask.

The image was so concrete and so tangible that he had to turn away. He was unable to stand the sight of them for more than a few seconds. They were gone, and knowing that they had been his for so brief a time and that he had failed them so miserably was agonizing. Now his numb anger felt utterly broken, washed away by grief more overwhelming than anything he had ever imagined. For the first time he felt that he could truly understand Mithos's desire to tear apart the world for his sister, the only family he had ever known. But Kratos felt now that even that longing fell short. For nothing in this world could compare to the pain of losing his love, the one to whom he would have given anything, the one who had made his long and wretched life worth living only for her own sake.

And the pain of losing his child was another kind of anguish. For Lloyd had been truly dependent on him, his father, and Kratos had been bound to him with the knowledge that that little life would not have come into the world if not for himself and Anna. And Lloyd's love for him had been unlike anything he would ever know. Of that he was certain. There were no words for the love of a parent and child that Kratos could think to describe, not after he had failed his child in such miserable way.

He clenched the locket in his hands and suddenly was overwhelmed by a slew of memories; Anna's smile at something beautiful only she could see, the warmth of her sudden kisses, and the way her breathing had felt when she slept beside him. There was Lloyd's tiny hand grasping at his own larger one, his wide eyes whenever he had asked a question or found something interesting to show him, and the way he had mumbled, just before going to sleep, "_Daddy, I love you_."

With trembling fingers he snapped the pendant shut. He would never know those times as anything other than memory. Looking at their faces had been idiotic. Feeling a strange constriction in his throat, he fell to his knees, clenching the locket to his chest. "They are gone," he whispered finally. "They are dead."

And for the first time he could recall in all his years, Kratos began to weep.


	43. A Glimpse of Light

**I had several different scenarios for ending this story, and what follows was initially the one I liked least. But I think, for the story as a whole, this is the best way I could end it. And now you get a sentimental ramble from me:  
**

**When I started writing this story last year, I'd completely given up on creative writing. I didn't think I could do it, and I hadn't written anything for about three months when I began this story. When I began, it was just something fun for me to say thanks to my friend Maria for giving me the ToS manga. I wouldn't have posted it- I didn't even know fanfiction existed until she told me I should post this story. **

**Without the amount of people who have read this, and offered me feedback and ways to improve, I would probably have given up on this story and on writing a long time ago. I probably would have deleted it when I realized just how awful the beginning is, and never thought about it again. Now I've actually finished something. This is the first multi-chaptered story I've written that hasn't been abandoned. Hopefully it won't be the last. **

**If I told you just how much the support and the feedback and the number of readers meant to me, this note would be longer than the chapter. It's truly been an amazing experience, and if I ever am published in any way, it honestly will be thanks to you guys for rekindling my love of writing.**

**Thank you all for sticking with me this far. I hope the best for each and every one of you.  
~oursolemnhour49**

Almost six years passed before he was permitted to move about the comet without an escort of lifeless angels. He did not speak to anyone more than he could help, and for the most part, he was ignored. Mithos refused to see him. Yuan sometimes spoke to him, but Kratos rarely responded, and for the most part he was left alone.

One day when the sky above the floating comet was filled with dark black clouds, he finally stirred himself to come before Yggdrasill. He had spent long hours either wandering in the halls or staring at the walls of his room, and felt he could not bear any more silence. Even his former pupil's taunts would be an improvement.

He passed slowly between the pillars until he was standing alone in the wide open space between the end of the hall and Yggdrassill's throne. The blond angel was slumped on the seat with papers scattered at his feet and a black look on his face. Kratos wondered for a moment if the seraph ever moved from the stone chair. He bowed stiffly. "Lord Yggdrassill."

The title felt foul rolling off his tongue, but he did not care enough to address the ruler with anything more defiant. But the use of that title clearly surprised the angel. He straightened up. "Kratos? What do you want?"

The swordsman could not think of an answer and thought about leaving. His sudden impulse to come before Yggdrassill now seemed foolish, a strange wandering of his mind that had no relevance to anything. He looked away.

From the throne he heard the angel rising to his feet. Kratos looked up then, and saw Yggdrassill watching him narrowly. "What do you want, Kratos?" he asked again. "You have your freedom- you don't even deserve that." There was no anger in his voice, merely boredom and a faint note that might have been uncertainty.

Kratos opened his mouth to speak and then thought better of it. His eyes swept the hall and caught sight of a flash of silver blue that lined the black clouds. For one moment it shone out through the heavy mass of mist. Then the clouds shifted and the glimpse of light was lost. Lowering his head, Kratos tried to think coherently. There must be something to say to Mithos. But he could not think what it was.

"You're disappointed, aren't you?"

The sudden change in his leader's voice startled Kratos. Mithos was standing before him, still in the form of an angelic leader, but with a troubled look in his eyes. Once again Kratos found himself at a loss for words. The angel went on. "Kratos, I know you don't like what you see here. I can't do anything about it now. But when I save Martel- I promise, I'll end this. I will make it right, Kratos. I will. I'm not angry with you, don't you see that?"

All the swordsman could see was his jailer and superior standing before him, but he had no capacity now to determine whether or not Mithos meant anything he said. He knew deep within himself that there was no way that Mithos could restore what had been lost. More than that he did not allow himself to think. He had spent the past five years trying to forget what he himself had done. And he felt dully that he was close to succeeding.

But if he had truly succeeded, he knew he would not have felt the small spark of anger that flared inside him. He fought it down, and bent his head, knowing vaguely he should acknowledge Mithos's words in some way. "If you will mend this world, then that is enough."

Yggdrassill visibly relaxed, as though he had been expecting a very different answer. "Then you will help me?"

Never had Kratos wanted to be alone more than at that moment. The lofty pillars felt like the bars of a cage and the sky seemed suffocating. But even then he could not summon any energy or will, only apathy. "I will."

Without waiting for an answer, he turned away and strode out of the hall, down into the lower levels of the city. He wandered for a long time without thought or seeing where he was going, until at last he came to a dead end, near one of the windows that looked out onto the bleak sky. Without knowing why, he paused there, watching the endless shifting and occasional flashes of light.

He heard a faint footstep coming from the opposite end of the hall, but did not bother to look up and felt a faint twinge of surprise when he heard Yuan's voice. "I heard the news from our leader that you'll deign to help us again."

Kratos ignored him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yuan walk past him in the opposite direction Kratos had been walking. The half-elf carried a sheaf of papers and did not even give him a glance as he passed. But as he reached the hallway's exit, Kratos heard him pause. Then the angel's voice drifted to his ears. "I wonder what Anna would have said about that." Before Kratos had time to turn around, Yuan had disappeared.

Swallowing hard, Kratos turned away from the window and made his way back to his chamber. It was a small room littered with weapons and books, none of which he had looked at in many years. He closed the door behind him and stood still in the center of the room, pondering what hearing her name had done to him.

He had felt a dull shock at hearing the two syllables spoken again. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he felt nothing. Hearing Anna's name had been akin to being shoved suddenly in a crowd: one stumbled once and then forgot. There was no biting pain or overwhelming grief. Just a dull sensation of something lost that would never be recovered, and would hopefully be forgotten with time.

Unconsciously his hand went to the locket he wore on his neck. He remembered faintly that he had been given that trinket because he could forget. No, because he would forget, he would avoid all memories of her until they had withered and so could no longer touch him. He wondered briefly if Anna had known that he would make that choice.

But he set all thoughts of her aside, and it did not hurt him to do so anymore. He had no desire to remember. There was no point in recalling something lost, no point in dreaming when the dreams brought nothing but agony. Yet his hand still lingered on the thin chain and worn pendant just beneath the fabric of his shirt. It was as though his hand was trying to keep the memories his mind was bent on losing.

The years went by. Kratos barely noticed them pass. Sometimes he trained. He spent his spare time alone, practicing his fighting as much as possible when he had no opponent. But even that had roused unpleasant sensations, the faint recollection of fighting with a purpose, fighting to protect. Traces of that feeling had taken several weeks to die down. That too, was a victory. A small one, Kratos knew. But it was a victory nonetheless.

At other times he tried to read. But reading, he found, had a tendency to wake unpleasant memories, and he soon learned to avoid anything other than paperwork. Mithos sometimes gave him files on the Ranches, but Kratos had learned very quickly that he could not read such things without recalling a pale face in a dark cell. He skimmed over such reports, then, until he grew hardened enough to read them in full. It took him many months, but he was eventually able to read reports on the progress of exspheres without feeling anything at all. And he counted that a victory.

When he was able to read a report on the progress of the Chosen in Iselia without emotion, the angel no longer troubled to count that a victory. There was no feeling of triumph, indeed, no feeling of anything.

And so, when Mithos told him that he had a job for him, that he was to be the Chosen's guard on the journey of Regeneration, Kratos merely nodded and began to prepare for the journey. Once, in the course of changing his angelic attire for a mercenary's garb, his finger brushed the chain of the locket, and for a moment he paused. But there was nothing to fight down, and the moment passed.

The sky on Sylvarant was cloudy and filled with rain when he warped down to the dying land. He made his way overland from the barren ground that would become the focus of this land when the Tower of Salvation appeared. The trip was long, but the fact that he did not need to rest made it pass more quickly. Once in the early morning, when he was walking a path that led across a narrow plain, he looked back over his shoulder to see a bright sunrise, with gold, grey, and blue streaking the eastern sky and filling the air with clear light. For some reason, he halted to gaze at it, and the longer he looked the more conscious he became of a dull aching memory that was slowly growing clearer. Turning away with a shudder, he resumed his walk, but not before the memory of someone standing beside him had flashed into his mind. He walked as fast as he possibly could, as though he might outrun the image. Eventually he was able to set it aside. Yet it had been unsettling.

He reached Iselia in the space of a few weeks. The village itself was somewhat ramshackle, but the people seemed content. There was a low schoolhouse with rows of empty desks, and he guessed that many of the children had disappeared as soon as the oracle had first appeared. The houses were small, but serviceable. Glancing northward to the mountain path, he knew he could not linger in the village. He asked for directions from a passing farmer and silently cursed himself when he realized that the light of the oracle had appeared some time ago. If he was late, the consequences for the Chosen could be disastrous. Mithos had warned him that there was a possibility that she might be attacked, and if she were killed before the journey even began, Kratos did not dare to think what Yggdrassill's reaction would be.

He found the mountain stairs that led to the temple without any trouble. The path leading to them wound its way among rocks and boulders as soon as it left the level ground of the village, and as a result he was unprepared for the mangled body he discovered at the foot of the stone steps.

Bending down, he examined the man dispassionately. From the vestments the man wore, he was clearly a priest, and from the wounds, he had been killed by two attackers, one striking from the front and the other from behind. Kratos straightened up and heard raised voices from the top of the stairs. There was a faint thud that the angel guessed might be a door opening, and then came several shouts. He heard the thin high pitch of some of the voices. There were children at the temple. And from the sound of things, they were caught in a battle.

He drew his sword and ran up the stairs, trying to ignore the memories starting to stir in the back of his mind. He had to be focused on the battle above him, and nothing else.

When he reached the top, he saw a huge armor-clad man just before the entrance of the temple, wielding a large war hammer over a blond girl in white garments. She looked as though she had just fallen; her legs were splayed on the cobblestones and she had caught herself on one hand. But she was utterly at the man's mercy; the angel could see that there was no time for her to dodge or defend herself. A boy clad in a bright red jacket dashed in front of the girl, throwing himself heedlessly in the path of the man's weapon. Somewhat to the teenager's credit, he was able to deflect the hammer-stroke, but the next instant was thrown several feet to the side, towards the stairs Kratos had just ascended. It was clear the child was outmatched; the man he was facing was many times his height and strength. But the man himself clearly had decided the boy was more of a threat, for he turned away from the girl and raised a huge broadsword capable of cutting the teenage boy in half.

Kratos sprinted across the flagstones and was able to catch the downward stroke before it fell across the boy. Forcing the weapon aside, he cast a fleeting glance at the teenager and caught a glimpse of brown hair and wide eyes. "You aren't strong enough for this," he said harshly. "Get back."

The boy looked outraged, and Kratos wasted no more time on him. Leaping forward, he ducked under the swipe of the warrior's broadsword and thrust his own sword into the man's throat. He fell with a rattle of armor, and Kratos straightened up to see two other men standing at the entrance to the temple. Both glanced at one another and then took off running along a narrow path that led west of the temple up into the mountains.

For a moment he debated whether he should pursue them. But his duty lay with the Chosen, who had already turned away from the battle and was seeing to the wrinkled old priestess she addressed as her grandmother. Another boy, a silver-haired child younger than the teenager and the Chosen, had rushed up to the temple entrance. Kratos stood still and listened to the girl and her friends as they spoke together. Their voices were rather shaky, which was understandable given what they had just seen.

At length the old woman turned to Kratos. "Sir, I do not think I can repay you for what you did." Her voice was steady and her tone formal. The Chosen immediately gasped a little and added her own thanks in an eager, almost childlike tone.

He nodded. "So the girl is the next Chosen," he said curtly. Now that she was out of danger, there was no point in delaying.

The girl herself nodded and glanced quickly at the temple. "I am- I have to go receive the oracle now."

The teenager beside her immediately stepped forward with a strange expression of both nervousness and brashness. "All the guards here were already killed, it looks like- so I'll take on the job of protecting you, Colette."

She turned to him with a flash of worry in her large blue eyes. "Lloyd- are you sure?"

All eyes had turned to the boy when he made his offer, and Kratos hoped that as a result none of them had seen his violent start at hearing that name spoken here, so near the mountains where everything had fallen apart. Mastering himself with an effort, he focused on the group again.

The boy smiled quickly at the girl, and Kratos felt a jolt of recognition sear through him. There had been only one smile like that he had ever seen, so quick and so wide. For one minute he could have sworn that he had seen a resemblance to his wife's face. The boy's grin was so like hers, quick, wide and ready. Kratos silently cursed the surge of memory that welled in him, and tried to focus on the priestess.

"You, Lloyd?" she was saying skeptically. "I would be uneasy with just you."

The boy's face fell from cheerful to shocked in a matter of moments. "What? Why?"

Kratos steadied himself and forced himself to look at the boy more fully. The teenager perhaps had some of his son's features as Kratos recalled them, but the angel knew that he would be a fool to trust to those memories when he had spent more than a decade burying them. But there was something about the tenor of the boy's voice that stirred Kratos's memory. Gathering himself, he cleared his throat. "Your name is Lloyd?"

"What? Yes- but you should give your name before asking mine. Who are you?"

The way the boy asked his last question sent a rush of memory through Kratos, a memory of a jail cell and a voice that he thought he had successfully drowned, and he fought to keep his face blank. "My name is Kratos; I'm a mercenary." He should not allow himself to think anymore, he could not. Yet with the face before him, suppressing thought was a battle in and of itself. Ruthlessly he went on with his part. "If you pay me, I am willing to guard the Chosen."

The old woman nodded. "I suppose I have no other option. Thank you."

The boy, naturally insisted on coming along and dragging his younger friend with him. Kratos was annoyed by this, but was too consumed with his thoughts to take much more notice of them. As they made their way through the temple, he could not stop himself from stealing glances at the boy, who was fighting every monster with reckless abandon, obviously stung by his loss in the battle that had taken place earlier. But no matter how often Kratos looked, he simply could not be sure. The boy shared the same name as his son, and could possibly be the same age. But 'Lloyd' was hardly an uncommon name. Yet to come across it here, so near to where his own child had been lost, was unnerving.

He had to shake himself out of his thoughts when Remiel, one of Mithos's newly promoted servants, descended in the guise of a messenger of Heaven. Kratos watched his performance without emotion, though the awe of the two children watching did not escape him. Of the Chosen herself he could see little, but her thin shoulders were tensed the entire time the heavenly being spoke to her. Kratos could not tell if she was afraid or merely nervous, but devotion rang in her voice as she spoke her promise to regenerate the world. Her trust was enough to make him feel faintly disgusted with the deception she was enduring. Yet it was necessary to convince Mithos to keep his promise about the worlds, and in any case, there was little he could do to stop the charade now.

When they finally returned to the village and met with the priestess and mayor to set the details of the Chosen's journey, the first thing the mayor insisted on was that they should travel with as few hindrances as possible. The priestess had nodded at that. "We should keep the expedition small," she said firmly, and glanced at the Chosen. "None of your friends can tag along with you. This is the real journey." Her tone was not angry, but it was firm enough that the girl lowered her head. The old woman gazed at her granddaughter for a moment before sighing. "You need to tell them that, Colette, since Lloyd obviously wants to come with you."

The Chosen did not look up, a curtain of blonde hair hiding her face. "I will, Grandma."

As Kratos had expected, the priestess asked if he was willing to accompany the Regeneration journey now that the Church guards had been lost. Once the terms of their agreement had been settled, the priestess sighed and turned to Kratos. "If you need a place to stay, I have a spare room in my house for you to spend the night. Do you need lodgings?"

Kratos nodded, aware that if he spent the night outdoors, it would look odd in a village as small as this. In any case, there was no reason to refuse her offer; it might provide him some time to think. "Yes, thank you," he said curtly.

The old woman nodded and glanced sharply at her granddaughter. "Can you please go and explain to Lloyd that he can't come? And Kratos, I think we've taken up enough of your time today. If you want to go back to our house, Colette can take you after I've discussed a few things with her first."

It was apparent from the priestess's words that she wished to speak with the Chosen and the mayor alone, and Kratos took the hint to leave. The Chosen also rose and quickly walked out the door, nearly tripping over the doorframe in the process. She darted to the dusty open space just before the house, where the teenager and the child from the temple were sitting idly on a bench. As soon as the teenager saw her, he jumped up. "Colette! Great, when are we leaving?"

Kratos watched as the girl clenched her fists at her side. "Lloyd," she said nervously. "I- you can't come. They won't let you."

"What?" the boy almost shouted. "What do you mean? Why can't I come?"

The Chosen flinched, and it was painfully apparent she had no answer. Kratos guessed that if it had been up to her, she would have wished the boy to accompany her. He glanced at the teenager's face. Though it might have been his imagination, he thought he perceived a strong resemblance to his wife's whenever she had been outraged and bewildered. Turning away sharply, he resolved to get rid of the memory as quickly as possible. "Because you will get in the way," he said brutally. "What happened at the Temple is nothing compared to what will happen on the journey. Children have no place there."

"What did you say?" the boy roared.

He looked ready to hit something, or someone; most likely Kratos, and the Chosen looked miserable. But before she had a chance to speak, the voice of the old woman came from the door of the mayoral house. "It's as Kratos said," she said calmly. "It's too dangerous, and you aren't ready."

She was joined by the mayor himself, a short man with greying hair and a thin mustache, who looked at the furious red-clad boy with contempt. "You should go home now," the man ordered. "We still have things to discuss."

The boy clamped his mouth shut and glared at the mayor for a moment before turning away and striding down the street. Kratos remained unobtrusively by the door and shook his head faintly. There was simply no way he could be certain. 'Lloyd' could be anyone's name. The boy had a family, no doubt, just like any other. This train of thought was his own weakness, his allowing the past to distract himself from his job. He watched the Chosen run after her two friends, her long hair streaming behind her as she called their names. The teenager turned to her, his face showing concern and exasperated amusement.

Kratos tore his eyes away and stared at the ground. He had to stop comparing this boy to his wife, had to stop contemplating the possibility that this Lloyd could be his son. It would do him no good. His wife had died, and their son had died with her. Nothing he could do would change that.

He looked up as the Chosen came back, panting a little. Her large blue eyes were sparkling and she was clutching a small package in her hand. Kratos wondered if the boy- if Lloyd- had given it to her. She ran back to the door and glanced at him over her shoulder. "I'll be back in a minute, Mr. Kratos!" she gasped. "And thank you- thank you for helping me earlier at the temple."

Kratos nodded and said nothing as she disappeared into the house. He tried to focus on the journey that lay ahead. He would be leaving this village the next morning and he would never see the teenage boy whose face was such a thorn in his side.

The Chosen emerged all smiles from the house after only a few minutes. "Mr. Kratos, do you want to go back to the house now?" she asked. "I'm sorry I took so long."

He followed her without comment, and she led him to a rather large house on the outskirts of the village. It was a grander house than most of the villages in Iselia, which was unsurprising, given that it was the home of the Chosen. But the paint was peeling and some of the window frames were out of place. Even luxury in this place was austere.

The Chosen led him to a small room on the first floor of the house that looked out onto the mountains behind the village. She stood uncertainly in the doorway as he moved into the room and finally stepped back when he said nothing to her. "Um… Mr. Kratos, I'm going to go outside for now."

He thought about cautioning her against wandering off, but decided in the end to let her go her way. For dangerous though it might be, he wanted to be alone for a few moments. He had to gather his thoughts and put aside all his doubts once and for all. As soon as the girl had gone, he sat on the bed and rested his forehead on his folded hands. From the way he had been unable to restrain himself from making comparisons to his lost son, it was apparent that he had to set himself in order. And yet the nagging question in his mind would not go away: was it possible that the boy could be his son?

He had found no body at the base of the cliff. No child could have survived such a fall, but if there had been someone at the bottom of the mountain, things might have turned out differently. And if someone had seen a child fall from a mountaintop when there seemed to be danger of attack, then it would be natural to bring the boy to the village. As far as age went, Kratos had no idea how old the boy in the village was. He could be the right age. His child would have been about seventeen, if he had lived.

Without thinking his hand went to his chest, where the locket lay against his heart. He remained very still for a moment before taking the pendant in his hands. It was smooth and warm, the metal carvings softened by constant wear. He had worn it ever since his wife had given it to him. But for almost fifteen years he had not opened it.

Slowly he slid his thumbnail between the thin metal edges of the pendant. The two halves popped apart soundlessly, the thin line of space between them a dark crack. Kratos stared at the crack for a moment before slamming the jewelry shut. His hand was shaking. If the boy was his son, he had essentially abandoned him fourteen years ago. If the boy was his son, it meant that he had given up on everything he had promised his family for a delusion, for a mistake. Swallowing hard, he rose and leaned against the windowsill. If the boy was his son, it meant that he had to protect him somehow, no matter the cost.

He turned away. Somehow he had to find out for certain what the boy's history was. If he was a normal village boy, there was nothing to be done, and Kratos had been torturing himself with a delusion he should have had the means to control. But now that the possibility had been raised, he was sure that he had to find out. If he had made a mistake fourteen years ago, he did not want to repeat it now. He had to find a way to turn his doubts into certainties.

He ate that night with the Chosen, her father, and her grandmother. They were a quiet family, and the Chosen herself was behaving very oddly. She shoved her food listlessly on her plate and finally looked up at her grandmother, who was clearly the head of the house. "Grandma," she finally piped up. "Can I go see Lloyd?"

The priestess stared at her. "Colette, it's late."

"I know- but he looked so sad when I told him that he couldn't come- I really think I should go talk to him, since we leave tomorrow. Please, can I go?"

The old woman sighed. "Only if Kratos is willing to go with you to Lloyd's. We can't have you wandering off anymore, not now that you've received the oracle."

The Chosen turned to Kratos with hopeful eyes. He himself was surprised that she would need an escort when the village was so small. "I have no objections."

The girl's face lit up as though he had given her a present. "Thank you! Can we go now? I- I mean, well, if you're ready- I'm sorry," she stammered, and fell silent.

In answer he stood up and waited for her. She quickly kissed her grandmother and her father and dashed out the door. She almost fell down the porch steps, but was able to recover by grabbing onto the railing. Straightening up, she laughed shakily and cast him a quick glance. "Sorry!" she exclaimed. "I do that a lot."

Kratos could not think how to respond to that, and instead contented himself with asking, "Where does Lloyd live?" He could not help but hesitate as he said the name, and clenched his fist.

The Chosen, however did not seem to notice anything. "He lives pretty far outside the village, near the mountains," she said lightly. "I think it's because his dad's a dwarf."

Kratos blinked. "He lives with a dwarf?"

The girl nodded. "Yes, he does. It's because Mr. Irving- that's Lloyd's dad- found him when Lloyd was little. Nobody in Iselia knew where Lloyd had come from and he was too little to know what happened. But Lloyd told me once that his mom asked Mr. Irving to take care of him before- before she died."

Kratos thanked his luck that the girl was walking some distance ahead of him. He could feel the shock on his face and fought to regain control of himself. All his instincts were telling him to deny the stirring in his heart. But he found he wanted to hold hope, just for a little while. Such a story could explain why there had been no body; in those few crucial minutes, fifteen or twenty at most, it would have been possible for someone to remove a child, if one had been found on the scene. But that still did not explain how there had been no trace of a woman, or a monstrous form. He would be a fool to begin hoping on such evidence.

The night air was peaceful as they made their way far past the borders of the village. After passing over a few gentle slopes that were flanked by mountains on either side, the Chosen turned down a small lane that skirted a sprawling group of trees at the base of the western mountains. At the end of the path was a ramshackle little house that had a patchwork look. Kratos hung back while the girl made her way to the door. He turned his head aside as he heard the Chosen mount the steps of the porch, and felt as though he had been turned to stone.

In the moonlight to the left of the house, encircled by a low fence, was a solitary grave with faint runes carved onto the surface. Kratos moved towards it, staring intently at the lettering. As he came close, he could decipher the letters and halted, hardly daring to breathe. He was unable to take in anything other than the four letters carved there.

_Anna_

After seconds that passed like hours, Kratos formed the name on his tongue, and let it pass his lips in a whisper. "Anna." He shut his eyes for a moment and let his hand reach out to the carved stone. It was cold under his fingers and very, very real. The letters of this name were real. And that boy, that flesh-and-blood child- Lloyd- was real as well. Real and alive. Whatever had happened those years ago, there had been more than Kratos would ever know. His mind seemed to have frozen, thinking of nothing, seeing nothing, and looking for nothing, save for the one truly important thing. His child was still alive. His Lloyd, one of Kratos's two main reasons for living so long ago, was here and had not been lost.

Voices came towards him, cutting through the quiet and drawing him out of his contemplation. He looked at the grave one last time. The Chosen and the boy had come out and were moving to that side of the house, and it would look strange for him to be caught at the grave of the mother of a village child. It would look strange for him to be beside the grave of the only woman he had ever loved.

As quickly and as casually as he could, he moved back to the house. He had lingered too long, and he heard the Chosen call him as he approached. The boy and the girl were standing at the left corner of the house, and the boy looked torn between irritation and surprise at seeing him. Kratos felt a strange ache. At the graveside, there had been nothing but the knowledge that Lloyd was alive. But the annoyance on the teenager's face was a bitter reminder that Kratos could do nothing to mend what had happened fourteen years ago. He could never know Lloyd as a son again. That time was gone.

Lloyd himself looked surprised at seeing him. His eyes, so much like Kratos's own that the angel wondered how he could have missed the resemblance, were troubled. "Were you at my mom's grave?" he asked quietly.

By some superhuman effort, Kratos was able to keep his voice toneless. Though he had not needed any more confirmation that this was Lloyd, this question hammered it into his soul. "That was your mother's grave?" he said, hoping he sounded disinterested.

The boy nodded, watching him narrowly. Kratos inclined his head faintly. "I see." Unable to stand any more, he turned to the Chosen, who waved good-bye to Lloyd and began walking off down the path. He felt as though he could feel Lloyd's eyes watching him, but when he looked back, the boy had returned to the house. Kratos wanted nothing more than to go to him, to ask him if he was well, to know for sure that his child was happy. He fought down the longing to run after him, and kept following the Chosen.

But Kratos let his gaze linger on the grave one last time. He dared not speak a goodbye aloud, for fear the girl ahead would hear him. So for the first time in many years he let himself remember Anna's face, her voice, her eyes, and her smile. He could not mend what he had done to her, and there was no way now that he could ever acknowledge Lloyd as his child, or apologize for what he had done. The time for him to be Lloyd's father had long disappeared. But the knowledge that his son was alive would for now suffice to keep him strong. In the black night that had become Kratos's life, he at least had caught a glimpse of a light, a hope that there might be a sunrise. And when the night was largely of his own making, that was all that he could hope for.

Turning away from the grave, he set his face on the village and followed the Chosen back to her home. But before he turned, he let himself whisper their names one last time. "Anna." The name made him recall, with bittersweet happiness, her laugh, her kiss, her joy, and her love. None of which he could ever know again.

As it had been so many years ago, the second name was heavier on his lips. But there was no despair in his voice this time as he whispered it, rather sorrow mingled with deep-running joy. "Lloyd."


End file.
